Call Of The Heart
by MonaGirl
Summary: Sequel to Decided By Love, Christian and Kimber are engaged.. Christian meets someone from his past, and Kimber is faced with issues that forces her to think about her life ...
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Call Of The Heart

**Author**: Mona

**Translation**: by Wicked R

**Disclaimers**: Ryan Murphy and Crew

**Genre**: Drama

**Rating**: PG-13

**Summary/Set/Pairing**: Sequel to "Decided By Love"

Kimber sat in the living room of Christian's apartment scribbling something in a notebook. Three months had passed since she'd proposed at the hospital and they had finally managed to set the date. But the closer they got to the agreed day, the more nervous she got. It had little to do with the often mentioned cold feet syndrome people would get before their wedding, and more with the fear that something unforeseeable will happen again and stop them getting married.

Kimber glanced at the clock and sighed. It was after 7 already and Christian still wasn't home yet. He had called two hours ago to tell her he would be late again because of another surgery. It had happened often over the last few weeks that the praxis was open late so that different surgical procedures could be completed. The beauty industry was booming, and everybody who wanted a piece of the cake had to be ready for sacrifices to be made.

Kimber was chewing her pencil impatiently. If she didn't know better she would've thought that Christian had a lover and that was the reason why he came so late. But she had reassured herself about that last week, when she made a control call and got told by nurse Linda that both surgeons were really busy in the operation room. Nevertheless, Kimber was far from happy with the whole situation. She was left to get everything ready for the wedding all by herself. And she had the feeling Christian wasn't at all interested in what kind of flowers they will have decorating the table or in what order should the different types of food be served. The guest list wasn't even ready, and the wedding was supposed to be in a month' time.

Kimber glanced at her meagre notes once more and briskly tore the page out the note book and rumpled it together. She aimed at the entrance door with it the exact same moment Christian crossed its threshold.

"Hey, you want to hit me?" He joked and lifted the ball of paper off the floor, "what's this?"

"A list," Kimber answered curtly.

"What for?"

"For our wedding."

"Oh," Christian unfolded the piece of paper and read Kimber's notes, "you want strawberries for dessert?" He asked and scrunched his forehead.

She nodded.

"I'm allergic to strawberries," he said and cleared his throat as a way of saying sorry in some way.

"That's great," Kimber dramatically rolled her eyes, "the best way of getting rid of your husband right away after the wedding is mixing his some food he's allergic to and then waiting till he dies in an anaphylactic shock," she said ironically.

"What's wrong with you?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead. 

Kimber shrugged, "nothing, what should there be?"

"You're in a mood that one could call morbid, to say the least. Are you cross for some reason?"

Kimber pointed to the clock accusingly, "you've called two hours ago and told me you'd be here soon. It's almost half past seven now!"

Christian sighed quietly. It wasn't the first time they were arguing about the same issue. It happened quite a lot over the last while that he had to work overtime and he knew how much she didn't like it, "but I already told you on the phone that there was another urgent operation to be done."

Kimber nodded, "yes, just like the days and weeks before," she said uneasily, "if you want us to get married in a month' time, then I'd give you the advice to get involved in the preparations a bit more."

"Maybe we should think about hiring a wedding planner again," Christian started uncertainly.

"No, not a wedding planner!" Kimber shook her head.

Christian moaned innerly. Kimber's superstition was gradually going to his nerves. She held herself to doing everything differently than it was the last time. Nothing should've reminded her of the tragic events that prevented their wedding back then. Although Quentin was dead and Kit was in prison, she was still afraid that someone or-somebody would thwart their wedding ceremony, "maybe you could ask Julia to help you," he suggested, "she has the experience," he added grinning.

"Inclusively sex with the man giving her away," Kimber muttered scarcely audibly.

"What did you say?" Christian looked at her annoyed.

"All right," she rushed to say.

But Christian had heard the last bit of the sentence, "after all these years you still hold me accountable for having a brief affair with Julia?" He asked uncomprehending.

Kimber was looking away. The last thing she wanted was to argue with Christian over Julia. The short while she spent in the McNamara house after Alicia's death had reasonably improved her relationship with Julia. They would probably never be friends, but they had mutual respect for each other and accepted they had different views, "I don't hold you responsible for anything," she said, "I was merely stating a fact." 

"With quite a bad taste if you ask me," Christian rubbed his aching neck groaning, "I'm tired and I don't wanna bicker."

"Who's bickering then?" She asked aggressively.

"You," he walked over to her slowly with a sly grin, "but I think I'll be able to think of something to ease the tension."

"That's also very typical of you!" Kimber said eluding him, "you think sex solves everything," she shook her head, "did it ever occur to you at all to think about how many place cards we'll need for the table or what kinda food should be served?"

Christian took a deep breath, "you know what?" He said with a calm voice, "maybe we should just forget about it all if it's so complicated."

Kimber looked up at him scandalized, "you wanna forget about the wedding?" She asked uncomprehending.

Christian held his head pensively, "I would have another suggestion."

"And that would be?" Kimber was hitting one foot to the other impatiently.

Christian's mouth widened to a smirk, "let's simply run away!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Thank you for getting an appointment for me right away," Kimber said to Julia lying on her stomach on the massage table at the spa.

"For friends, always," Julia smiled. She spread some oil onto her palms and started to gently massage Kimber's shoulders, "you really need it," she noted, "you're so tense. Problems?"

Kimber deposited her head onto her arms and closed her eyes, "the whole wedding preparations thing is driving me crazy!" She said sighing.

Julia nodded while trying to loosen Kimber's stiff muscles up, "I can still remember our wedding. We didn't have much money back then and we had to retrench ourselves quite a lot. But we both wanted the perfect wedding. The only bad thing about it was that we had different ideas on what the perfect wedding looked like," she brought her lips up to a smile, "Christian recommended we should simply run away to cut the whole stress loose."

Kimber rolled her eyes. Apparently Christian had always had the same advice in store when he didn't know what else to do, "why didn't you?" Kimber added, "I mean run away".

"My mother would've killed me!" Julia explained, "her only daughter runs away and take the chance of being the perfect mother away from her on her wedding day!"

Kimber noticed the cynic note in Julia's voice and looked at her surprised, "you don't really understand each other very well, do you?" She asked carefully.

Julia's face took on a absent expression, "no, not very well. She wasn't all that happy with my choice of husband either. But she had actually been against anything I've ever done," she said bitterly.

"How was your wedding?" Kimber pressed further, "was it the way you imagined it?"

Julia shook her head slowly, "not even the reasons for it were the right ones," she said sighing, "we would've probably never got married if I didn't get pregnant. We only thought of what would be best for our child."

"Did you love him?"

"You mean Sean?" Julia nodded, "I would've never married him if I didn't."

"I'm talking about Christian."

Julia lifted her eyebrows irritated. She didn't know what Kimber was after with all her questioning, but she was intending to be careful not to give away too much. So far nobody except Gina knew about her kissing Christian on his wedding day. And this kiss was nothing more than an impulsive act that both Christian and her came to deeply regret since then.

"I was thinking about that only because you were pregnant with his child," Kimber didn't let it lie.

"I didn't know back then it was his child," Julia defended herself.

"Have you ever asked yourself what your life would be like if you married Christian instead of Sean? Have you ever wished..."

"That's enough!" Julia cut Kimber off mid sentence, "I don't have the notion for chewing on the issue every time over and over again!" She made a few steps to be able to face Kimber and looked deeply into her eyes, "yes, I had feelings for Christian, and maybe I still have some, and yes-we have a special bond between us because of our son," she said, "but he chose you. He only ever wanted to marry you, not me! But should I tell you something?" Julia took the effort to control the volume of her voice, "if you doubt him that much, then you'd better not marry him!" She turned around and left the room without saying good bye.

"Julia, please wait...I'm sorry!" Kimber called out despairingly. She opened the door to run after Julia and bumped into Gina.

"Hey, not so fast!" She said. She gave Kimber an intensive look. She couldn't quite grasp how hysterical the young woman was, "what's wrong?" She asked curiously.

"We...we had a little difference of opinion," Kimber said quietly.

A knowing grin appeared on Gina's face, "let me guess, it was about Christian, am I right?"

Kimber lifted her eyebrows. Although on her wedding day Gina had offered her a shoulder she could cry on, Kimber had doubted her genuineness. Gina did nothing without having a hidden agenda and Kimber suspected she was still secretly in love with Christian.

"I was right then," Gina nodded.

"About what?" Kimber looked at her confused.

"Your silence is like a confession," Gina explained. She leaned towards Kimber, "she can't cope with Christian marrying another woman and not her," she whispered. 

Kimber jolted back in surprise, "Julia and Christian are only good friends," she held.

Gina laughed spitefully, "you really believe that?"

Kimber nodded hesitantly. 

"Then you're even more dull than I thought."

Anger wrinkled Kimber's forehead, "it's pure jealousy speaking, Gina!" She said, "you are the one not able to deal with the fact that he left you. And now you try everything to cause some waves!"

"You're mistaking if you believe that!" Gina shook her head.

"Shut up already!" Kimber's eyes started to sparkle with anger, "the way you acted on our wedding day deserves an Oscar. For a short while I really believed you've changed back then, but you'll never change Gina! You come from smut and you will go under there too!"

"You damned bitch!" Gina struck out and gave Kimber a clangourous slap in the face, "I wanted to help you, but if you'd rather rush blindly headlong into disaster, it's all the same for me!" She hissed.

Kimber held her aching cheek quivering while fighting with her tears. She knew she'd went too far, but what was once said was hard to take back, "I don't know what you're talking about," she struggled to say.

"Then let me enlighten you," Gina stepped close to Kimber again and regarded her disparagingly, "you perhaps still think that your wedding would've gone ahead according to plan if Quentin didn't kidnap you, right?" She asked provokingly.

Kimber stood there awestruck. The mentioning of his name reopened her wounds.

"I can assure you there was gonna be no wedding," Gina continued. She rolled her eyes, "how passionately they kissed...it's a miracle they didn't have sex right there and then on the floor!"

"Who?" Kimber asked loosing her voice. She had an idea Gina was talking about Julia and Christian, but everything in her was rebelling against accepting the truth.

Gina looked at Kimber with pity, "what do you think who do I mean? I already warned you back then they can't forget about each other. Don't make the same mistake twice! Christian had always only loved Julia and neither you or me can ever do anything to change that.

Gina abruptly turned round and left a troubled Kimber behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Kimber stepped into the apartment and out of her shoes on her way to the living room, throwing them haphazardly into a corner. She plonked herself onto the sofa and grabbed hold of one of the pillows firmly and buried her head in it. She felt the hot tears rolling down her cheeks and closed her eyes. She saw in her mind's eye Christian and Julia embracing each other and sharing passionate kisses. She tried to convince herself Gina was lying, just because she was such an envious viper, but her instincts told her otherwise. She had always sensed that the affair between Julia and Christian was still not over. What had Julia said, she probably still had feelings for Christian? And how was he feeling about that? Questions after questions.

Kimber buried her head even deeper into the wet pillow. She could smell Christian's aftershave on it a bit and she felt a deep hurt inside. She loved him too much to give him up. In the short time they lived separately she had come to realise how little her life meant to her without him. But she couldn't just pretend either that it was all the same for her whether he still had feelings for his ex or not, if you could call Julia that at all. According to those two they had never shared anything else than a short affair that resulted in Matt's existence.

Kimber's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by somebody knocking on the door.

She jumped up the sofa, "minute, I'm coming!" She shouted. She quickly ran into the bathroom and checked herself over in the mirror. She stared at her reflection stunned. She was in a wretched state. Her mascara was daubed over her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy from the lots of crying. She took a tissue and tried to get rid of the treasonous traces. Probably it was still noticeable she was crying and she hoped it wasn't Julia or Sean   
standing at the other side of the door.

The knocking became louder and Kimber ended the cleaning process. She went to the door and opened it. She looked into the face of a young girl surprised.

"I'd like to see Dr. Troy," the girl said timidly and didn't quite dare to look into Kimber's eyes.

"He's at the praxis," Kimber said curtly. She couldn't stop herself from regarding her closely. The little one could've been about sixteen, seventeen years old the most. Her long blonde silky waves reached her back and the green eye shadow she was wearing made her eyes look even bigger and brighter. She was thin, or at least not so chubby as quite of lot of girls  
of her age. She wore jeans and a neon green t shirt that just about reached till above her belly button. Kimber could see her belly button piercing.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I would've had to speak to him regarding an urgent matter," the young girl said.

"He's not here," Kimber steadily gazed at the young woman. Who was she, she asked herself. She was too young to be one of Christian's ex girlfriends. But apparently she knew him, otherwise she could've not showed up there. Kimber cleared her throat, "can I give him a message?"

The young girl shook her head, "I need to speak to him personally. Do you know when he'll come back?"

"He's doing a lot of overtime just now. It would be best if you stopped by the practice. Is it for an appointment?"

The girl nodded. She looked into Kimber's eyes for the first time and a smile played on her features suddenly, "oh, I know who you are now," she said excitedly, "you're Kimber Henry, right?"

Kimber nodded confused. She couldn't remember having have met the girl before.

"I saw your photos in a fashion magazine. You looked so fab on those!"

"Thanks," Kimber garbled, "it's been a long while since I've done a photo shoot," she explained.

"What are you doing nowadays?" The girl asked curiously.

Kimber raised her eyebrows. Telling a minor she was shooting some films not so long ago, films that had their setting in the milieu of red lights, was certainly not the right thing to do, "I'm unemployed at the moment," she said instead. She opened the door a bit wider, "would you not like to come in for a minute?"

The young girl nodded, "thanks, that's very nice of you."

"Sit down," Kimber showed her to a seat. She didn't know why, but the girl was sympathetic to her. She reminded her of herself at that age a little.

"It's very nice in here," the young girl concluded. She stroke the white sofa cover carefully, "it must be great to be able to afford everything."

Kimber laughed, "how do you know Christian...I mean Dr. Troy?"

"I don't know him at all. My mom knows him," the girl explained.

Kimber froze with horror. She suddenly had this peculiar feeling in her stomach. She counted back quickly. If the little one was seventeen, it could well be possible she was sitting opposite Christian's daughter. She was about the same age as Matt. Yet another product of his orgiastic life style, it occurred to her.

"My mom would kill me if she knew I was here," the young girl jabbered on, "she's been so mad when I just wanted my belly button pierced."

Kimber swallowed. Somehow she just couldn't find the words. She didn't even know what she would want to say. Did Christian know he had another daughter? Heavens, I'm just paranoid, she thought.

"I would actually also like to be a model, you know," the young girl continued, "that's always been my dream. But my mother is very conservative. She's in a state just if I wear a short skirt," she rolled her eyes, "she always says I'm too young for that, but that's not true! I know exactly what I want and I hope Dr. Troy can help me to make my dreams come true anyway. And after he had helped my brother too, I thought..."

Kimber was deep in thought. She didn't hear what the young girl was saying anymore. She knew Christian had a past and that he had slept with dozens of women before her, but the fact that he was apparently so reckless back then, shocked her. How many extramarital children were running around the globe that he did not know about? Kimber pressed her finger on her temples sighing.

"Everything all right?" The young girl asked concerned.

Kimber shook her head, "I have a terrible headache," she said.

"I'm sorry," the young girl stood up, "it would maybe be better if I came back another time."

Kimber nodded. She only wanted to have some peace now. Albeit she hardly believed she could have any after her recent discovery.

The young girl took her purse out of her pocket, "crap!" She said after counting her money, "do you know of any bus stops around here? I'm afraid I don't have enough money left for a cab."

Kimber nodded tiredly, "yes, a few streets down there is one. You get buses into all directions from there."

"Thanks!" The young girl smiled. She turned to get to the door.

"Wait a minute!" Kimber called after her, "what's your name?"

"Oh, how impolite of me," the young girl stepped to Kimber smiling and offered her hand, "I'm Sarah...Sarah Pollock."


	4. Chapter 4

Kimber was chewing her finger nails fretfully while glancing at the wall clock over and over again. It would surely not take much more longer for Christian to came home from the practice. She had spent the whole afternoon in front of the mirror practicing what she would tell him, but with every minute passing she became more and more nervous.

Shortly before leaving, Sarah has also told Kimber that she was sixteen years old and that she lived in the outskirts of Miami with her mom and her older brother. Kimber passed on the chance of asking about her mother. She had herself convinced that she was only considerate with the young girl, but in reality she was simply afraid she would find out more than she would've wanted. The longer the conversation was, the more convinced she got Sarah had to be Christian's daughter. She had the same smile, the same sensual lips and she raised her eyebrows the same way. Everything about her made her think about Christian, even if the colour of their eyes and hair wasn't the same. According to what Sarah had said, her father died when she was still a baby. Her mother had brought her and her two years older brother alone up and has worked as a midwife.

Kimber stood up and went into the bathroom. She checked her make up for the hundredth time today. She wanted at least to look her best when she gave Christian the news of being the father of a sixteen year old girl. She grabbed the hairbrush and started to work on her curls that reached her shoulders. When she heard the key turning in the door she held her breath overexcited.

"Kimber, are you here?" Christian went into the living room and started to unbutton his shirt at the top, "I made a table reservation at the San Loco for tonight," he called, "I thought we could go back there for dinner."

Kimber checked her outfit for a last time and left the bathroom, "I'm on a diet," she told him instead of a way of greeting him while stepping close to him.

Christian raised his eyebrows surprised, "you're on a diet? But you only told me yesterday we could go out again."

"That was yesterday. I just started today," she lied.

"Well, all right," Christian scrunched his eyebrows irritated. He didn't know how to deal with Kimber's incessant mood changes. He guessed she was nervous about the imminent wedding, "then we'll stay here," he stepped to her and tenderly wrapper his hands around her waist.

Kimber jerked away as if burnt, "no!" She said.

"What's wrong?" Christian asked confused.

Kimber cleared her throat, "I've been at the therapy centre today and Julia gave me a massage. Now every bone hurts in my body." To give her words a bit more impact, she straightened up a little while putting on a painful expression.

"Massages relax and normally don't harm anybody, sweetheart," Christian noted dryly. He put his hands on his hips and looked at Kimber seriously, "I thought you had more imagination than that," he said shaking his head, "what's with the excuses, I have a migraine, that women so gladly use when they don't want to sleep with us?" He asked with a voice snivelling of impertinence, "has it gone out of fashion?"

Kimber's bottom lip started trembling. She didn't know whether it was suppressed anger that caused it or the agitation she experienced for hours now.

Christian misinterpreted her silence and trembling, "no worries," he said, "I didn't force any woman to have sex with me so far," he grabbed after his shirt that he just took off, "if you fancy another night in front of the telly-please. But after a stressful day at work I have other things in mind."

Kimber saw him going towards the door and well panicked. He couldn't leave right now before she had told him what she knew, "Christian, wait!" She ran after him and hold him back strongly by the arm, "where-where do you wanna go?"

"To San Loco," he said curtly, "you don't really think I'll let the reservation go to waste," he looked at her coldly, "and if you'd have any concerns about your reservation going to waste..." He paused briefly before continuing, "I'm quite sure I'll have no difficulties finding a partner for the evening."

The nervous tension got replaced by sheer despair. Kimber raised her hands in front of her face and without being able to control herself she started to cry.

"Hey..." Christian stepped towards her and pulled her into his arms. The cruel words and the argument they just had was forgotten. He gently stroked her shoulders and head and kissed her fondly on the forehead, "what's wrong?" He asked apprehensively.

Kimber gave herself completely over to the sense of security. It felt good to lie in his arms safely and everything in her rebelled against confronting him with the truth. But the knowledge that Christian had an extramarital child he didn't know about pained her, "could we sit down?" She asked loosing her voice.

Christian nodded.

They sat down onto the sofa and Kimber grabbed his hand, "what I'll tell you know will certainly shake you up," she started with a shaking voice.

Christian looked at her with a mixture of concern and anxious anticipation, "what is it? You can tell me anything. You know that already," he said with a softer voice.

"I had a visitor today," Kimber continued hesitating, "a young girl, sixteen years old."

Christian raised his eyebrows surprised, but didn't say anything yet.

"We had a chat and she told me a little bit more about herself. That she would very like to be a model and that she lives just outside Miami with her mother and older brother..." Kimber stopped when she saw Christian's perplexed expression.

"You have a daughter Christian!" She cut the details short.

Kimber expected him being shocked by the news, but to her great surprise she saw him starting to grin, "no sex without a condom sweetheart," he said smiling, "if a woman appears here and asks for alimony, then she has the wrong address."

"But...but," Kimber mumbled, "the resemblance is simply astonishing."

Christian became serious again, "what is the girl's name who maintains she is my daughter?" He wanted to know.

"She didn't say at all you're her father," Kimber said, "she doesn't even know."

Christian looked at her scrunching his forehead, "then where did you get the mind boggling idea from she is my daughter?"

"She looks really amazingly like you," Kimber repeated feebly.

"Ah, and only because somebody had my features, makes me automatically their father?" Christian asked ironically.

Kimber shook her head slowly. She suddenly felt embarassed for apparently getting the wrong idea, "I'm sorry!" She said quietly. She took a piece of paper out of the pocket of her trousers and gave it to Christian, "she wrote down her address for me. Maybe you could call her anyway. She would really like to have one or two cosmetic procedures done."

Christian stared at the piece of paper in his hand uncomprehending. He cleared his throat to get rid of the knot in it, "Sarah's not my daughter," he said finally with a husky voice, "she's my sister."


	5. Chapter 5

"She's what?" Kimber asked unbelieving.

"She's my sister," he repeated mechanically while still staring at the piece of paper, "Sarah's Gail's young daughter."

Kimber suddenly remembered meeting Christian's biological mother for the first and only time. Six months have passed since then. She had surprised both of them in the consultation room back then and had brought Gail flowers. Kimber had hoped to become friends with her somehow. The women who shared something special-love for Christian.

But Gail was entirely different than Kimber imagined her. She wasn't exactly the picture of complete motherly love. She was behaving very coldly and distanced towards her and Kimber remembered feeling so awkward around her. The whole time she had hardly ever smiled and a bad taste remained in her mouth after the experience.

Kimber had known of course that Gail had to endure quite a lot in the past, but she would never forgive her for shutting Christian out of her life in such a brutal way. Kimber had seen the sorrow in his eyes after he had returned from his visit to his mother's house. He had never mentioned his mother after that day. She was as good as dead for him, the same way he was probably dead for her as well from the moment she learnt she was carrying the child of a rapist.

Kimber saw Sarah in front of her mind's eye all of a sudden. She was the complete opposite of her mother. She had a lively nature, was agile, cheerful and very communicative. A totally open person with a particular ability to display deep feelings. In that way Sarah was very much like Christian. Kimber asked herself if Gail would've once been the same before destiny changed her into a bitter, more inaccessible person.

"What did she want here?" Christian interrupted Kimber's thought process. He wasn't even sure himself how to feel about his half sister turning up at his house.

"She wants to be a model," Kimber explained, "she had already been at some job interviews, but one of the men found her breasts too small and her thighs too plump. Apart from that she didn't like her own nose," Kimber rolled her eyes.

"And what does that have to do with me?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead.

"You're a surgeon," Kimber enlightened him, "she thinks that after you've helped her brother get a place at the University of Miami, you would help her fulfil her dreams too."

"You can hardly compare those two things!" Christian said indignantly, "I can not simply nip and tuck my own sister about!"

"Then go and tell her that," Kimber said calmly.

Christian looked at her as if she had lost her mind, "should I go and tell her I'm her brother?" He shook his head energetically, "Gail had made it completely clear back then that she doesn't want any more contact."

Kimber could only shake her head after seeing so much laxity, "don't you think Sarah has the right to find out she has a brother?"

"She already has a brother," Christian answered curtly. "...Max."

"I don't understand you!" Kimber shook her head, "you had lived in a network of lies yourself for years. You thought your mother was dead for forty years. And nobody told you who your biological father was," Kimber interrupted her own torrent of words when she was Christian's eyes clouding up.

"I don't want to talk about that!" He said gruffly, "my mother is dead!"

Kimber looked at him taken aback. She knew that he only said that to protect himself from any further sorrow he would've felt thinking about the shove off he experienced from his mother.

"Please don't say that!" She pleaded, "she's your mother, Christian! It doesn't matter what kinda feelings you have for her. You are mother and son and can not simply deny the fact."

Christian's eyes narrowed to a line, "I don't have any feelings for her," he said coldly, "every feeling that I might have felt for her once is dead!"

Kimber closed her eyes. Christian's relentless reaction surprised her. She could simply not understand why was he so unyielding.

"And I'd also like to ask you to refrain from any contact with Sarah," Christian continued, "she'll find somebody somewhere else who could fulfil her dream of having the perfect body for a model."

Kimber looked at him uncomprehending, "I know how upset you are," she said calmly, "but please don't punish Sarah for all this! She's not responsible for her mother being so cruel and difficult."

Christian hung his head. He swallowed his tears that suddenly appeared in his eyes, "you don't think then that I had tried everything so that we can become a family?" He said. He lifted his head and looked at Kimber desolately, "my mother hates me!" He said quietly, "she would prefer I was never born. When she looks at me she sees the monster that stole her virginity once in such a brutal way," his voice was shaking as he continued, "I'm an eyesore she would want to forget about. And she would probably kill me instead of letting her other children find her secret out."

Kimber saw the despair in his eyes and took him automatically in her arms. Even though Christian was taller than her with a good one and a half heads and essentially stronger, he appeared to be needing protection and was vulnerable at the moment. She felt his upper body shaking from the suppressed tears. "Let it out!" She said with a softer voice while hugging him even tighter.

Christian lifted his head suddenly and looked at her tearfully. Their eyes locked and their faces inched closer. She shut her eyes as his lips lowered onto hers. Kimber put her arms around his neck as he lifted her up and took her over to the bed. He stripped their clothes off and threw them carelessly onto the floor. Then he started to describe a circle around her belly button with the tip of his tongue.

Kimber moaned quietly and her body bent against him. She immersed her fingers in his thick hair and pressed her upper body firmly onto him. For a moment it occurred to her it would maybe be better if she went into the bathroom and inserted a female condom they were usually using. But with Christian's more and more passionate kisses she soon forgot about everything else. She gave her whole self and they headed to reach climax together.


	6. Chapter 6

_In the operation room of McNamara/Troy_

"Hey, Christian! The bum implants go somewhere else," Sean said reproachfully and looked at his partner shaking his head.

Christian froze for a moment before pulling the implant back and putting it into the right place, "thanks," he said grinning, "you saved me once again from a costly lawsuit."

Sean nodded, "could it be you're a bit absentminded today?" He asked and scrutinised Christian.

"I haven't slept much last night," he said with a momentous look, "maybe that's why."

"Sex can by all means be more relaxing than eight hours sleep," Sean held grinning.

Liz rolled her eyes theatrically, "after eight hours of uninterrupted sex I would certainly not be able to step into the operations room," she threw in.

Christian smiled, "me neither," he turned back to the patient and ignored Sean's concerned expression.

"So everything is fine again between you and Kimber?" Sean asked curiously.

"Was something not fine between us?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead.

Sean hung his head and started to close the wound on the bottom of the patient, "I don't know," he shrugged, "Julia had made some strange comments."

"What did she say?" Christian wanted to know.

"She reckoned you should maybe think about postponing the wedding."

Christian raised his eyebrows surprised, "then you know more than I do."

"So there's no problem between you two?" Sean pressed further.

Christian shook his head, "no, not that I know of."

"Apparently," Sean cleared his throat, "what do you think of coming over for dinner today? Annie would certainly be glad and Matt and Cherry will maybe come too."

"I would come tremendously happy, but Kimber's on a diet," Christian explained sighing.

Sean lifted his eyebrows unbelieving, "I will never understand how women who are already like a skeleton need to diet more," he rolled his eyes, "don't take it wrongly, but I think she should go to therapy. This is not normal anymore."

Christian shrugged, "we're plastic surgeons, Sean. Had we ever worried about performing liposuctions being sinful? Everybody has to decide for themselves what they do with their bodies."

"You support her with that?" Sean asked indignantly.

"That maybe not," Christian shook his head, "but I'll not tell her what she should or should not do. Kimber's an adult. I think she should know what she's doing."

"How's your wedding preparations coming along anyway?" Liz broke in upon the conversation, "Gina and me had already played the lottery to decide which one of us will have to stay at the therapy centre. And what do you think who's the looser?"

"Gina," Sean and Christian said together.

Liz nodded grinning, "she wasn't exactly exultant about it. But we played fair and only one of us could win."

Christian exhaled relieved. Gina was the last person he would've wanted to have around at his wedding. But he had to admit she had behaved better with him again over the last few weeks.

"You can let the patient wake up," Sean said to Liz, "so what's gonna be with my invitation to dinner after all?" He turned to Christian again.

Christian nodded, "tell Julia we'll come around eight."

"Great," Sean rejoiced, "I thought we could also use the opportunity to talk about the wedding preparations afterwards."

Christian rolled his eyes, "there's not much to talk about yet," he said sighing, "we hardly managed to put a menu together by now."

Sean lifted his eyebrows surprised, "still no dress, no guest list, no rings, no flowers?" He asked.

Christian shook his head.

"Then it's damn well time," Sean said, "you wanna get married in four weeks. That's not all that far away."

"I know," Christian sighed, "but I have so many other things to think about just now."

"What other things?" Sean asked curiously. He didn't miss the creases on Christian's forehead telling of worry.

Christian closed his eyes for a moment. Although he would've been glad to be able to tell Sean about his sister and consequently, her mother reappearing in his life wit her in such a fateful way, he thought it was better to keep it a secret just now. The last thing he needed right now was well meant advice from outsiders. He knew better himself how he should handle the situation. Kimber didn't react very understanding when he asked her not to keep contact with Sarah. Apparently she had come to harbour tender feelings for the young girl over the short time they spent together. But Christian didn't want to give his mother more grounds for hating him even more than she already did. And he didn't want to confront her sister about matters of her mother's past. She and Max should grow up carefree in the belief that everything was all right. Christian sighed on impulse. He had messed his mother's life up with his existence. He didn't want Sarah and Max having to repeat that.

"Earth to Christian!"

"What?" Christian opened his eyes and looked at Sean confused.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" Sean started uncertainly, "if there's anything that troubles you..." He let the open sentence hang in the air.

"Yes, I know that," Christian nodded. He took a deep breath, "if we're finished here I'd like to wash myself and change my clothes," he said.

Sean nodded.

"Good, then we'll see each other later," Christian flashed a smile.

Sean ponderingly watched Christian leaving the operations room.


	7. Chapter 7

Kimber fumbled about with her food listlessly while trying to ignore Christian's critical glances. She only came with him to Sean and Julia's to avoid picking a quarrel with him once more. But she couldn't stomach Julia's behaviour to an extent she found herself unable to swallow even a morsel. She suspiciously watched from the corner of her eyes the way Julia cast glances at Christian and a feeling of jealousy gnawed at her. Kimber thought it was so cheeky of Julia to flirt with her fiancé so free and easy. She asked herself how Sean took the whole situation. But a fleeting look into his direction told her he had absolutely no idea what was going on between Christian and his wife.

Kimber shoved the food to the side and then stood up determined, "thank you very much Julia," she said coldly, "but we really have to go now."

Christian raised his eyebrows irritated, "actually Sean wanted to talk to me about some patient who has an appointment with us tomorrow," he said, "how about going into the study Sean and leaving the women alone," he reckoned with a cock of his eye.

Sean nodded, "good idea," he turned to Julia, "should I help you clear the table before that or you manage alone?"

Julia smiled, "it's okay. We'll deal with it," she looked over to Kimber briefly who had since demonstratively pulled away.

The charged environment was touchable in the room after the men had left the dining room. Kimber crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at the wallpaper tensely while Julia started to clear the table in silence.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you yesterday," Julia finally broke the silence, "I know how much you love Christian...and he loves you the same way," she added quickly, "you're at the moment in your lives you make the most important step. It's only natural you're nervous."

"Hypocrite!" Kimber spat.

Julia froze for a moment and looked at her shocked, "what did you say?"

Kimber slowly turned towards Julia, "you don't have to act in front of me anymore," she said coldly, "I can see through you. Gina told me everything."

Julia suddenly felt like the floor was getting pulled away from under her, "what ...what did Gina tell you?" She asked almost loosing her voice.

"Everything," Kimber took an audible breath, "she told me about your little love affair on our wedding day," Kimber continued, "Gina had overheard you. It's totally futile denying it."

Julia swallowed. Every colour disappeared from her face, "please Kimber, let me explain it," she started ruefully.

"How could you do that to me Julia!" Kimber spat angrily, "what were you thinking of in the meantime, did you want to seduce him on his wedding day? It's really nothing stopping you!"

Julia lifted her head surprised. Kimber truly thought then she was the one making the first step. Maybe it was better this way, leaving her in that belief, Julia considered. It would only cause unnecessary stress in her relationship if she found out Christian had started it all.

"It happened in the spur of that magic moment," Julia began uncertainly, "he told me you two had an argument the night before and he was afraid you'll not show up for the wedding at all."

Kimber swallowed. She had no idea how much Christian suffered because of that quarrel. And the worst of all was how his fears came true in the most horrifying way as well.

"As he stood in front of me like that he looked like a little helpless child to me. I took him into my arms and then..." Julia stopped abruptly and shook her head. It would be better if she didn't tell Kimber about all the details of their kiss, "it was just a kiss," she lied, "and that was the exact moment Gina saw us. She had drawn completely wrong conclusions out of it," Julia continued her story, "if she would've stayed a little bit longer she would've seen him pulling apart."

Kimber narrowed her eyes in disbelief, "is this true?" She asked sceptically.

Julia nodded. She was surprised how easy the lie came to her lips, "he loves you Kimber," she said convincingly, "after he had found Quentin's message and it became clear there will be no wedding, he stood at the altar and cried. It almost broke my heart to see him that unhappy," she continued, "and he never came to terms with you stepping back. He was always hoping that you would come back one day."

Kimber was full of tears, "that ...I didn't know that," she muttered.

Julia handed Kimber a hankie, "does Christian know about your conversation with Gina?"

Kimber shook her head while pressing the hankie carefully onto her eyes.

"Do you want to tell him about it?"

"I don't think so," Kimber shook her head, "I'm happy you were so honest and talked to me about it. I wouldn't be able to cope with loosing him again."

"That will not happen," Julia smiled suddenly, "and to bring another subject up, I'd like to make a proposal."

"And that would be?" Kimber asked curiously.

"How would it be if we went shopping together tomorrow to find you a wedding dress?" Julia suggested.

A smile flashed over Kimber's face, "yes, very gladly."

"Good, then we have an agreement," Julia lifted her head when she saw Sean and Christian stepping into the dining room.

"Did you have fun even without us?" Christian asked grinning and put his arms protectively around Kimber's waist.

She nestled her head onto his shoulder and nodded.

"Are we going?"

She nodded, "thanks Julia," she said with a meaningful smile.

"In that case I'll pick you up tomorrow morning," Julia said as a way of good bye, "enjoy your evening," she called after them as Christian and Kimber were leaving the house.

"What are you two up to then?" Christian asked when they were sitting in the car.

"That will be a surprise," Kimber answered and grinned slyly.

"I love surprises!" Christian leaned over her and locked her lips with a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Gail Pollock pulled the drawer of her night stand abruptly open and took out a tube with pain killers from it. She turned it over so that the contents could fall into her shaking hand. She didn't even bother counting how many tablets there were in her hand, but grabbed for a glass of water to wash the tablets down. She let herself fall back onto the bed sighing, both hands pressed onto her temples.

She knew they only gave her a breather. The effect of the pills was wearing off more and more quicker and soon there would be nothing available that could free her from the tormenting pain that had engulfed her entire body at the moment. But that wasn't her greatest fear. She wasn't afraid of death. She was afraid of telling Sarah and Max about it. But given the deterioration of her health the day of having to tell her children that she soon had to die was getting closer.

It has been six month ago at a routine check up that doctors found she was suffering from the serious non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, a type of cancer affecting the lymphatic system. She could hide her illness from the children at first, but by now it became reasonably harder. She was continuously tired, pale and had lost a big amount of weight. In addition, she had to put up with incessant nausea that made every meal a torture for her. Her doctor had suggested chemotherapy, but she would've had to stay in hospital for that. Something she would've wanted to avoid no matter what. Who would take care of Max and Sarah in the meantime?

She realised only now that she wasn't doing the right thing back then. Without treatment the cancer had spread further in her body and according to the doctors she could hardly hope to get better now. Thereto she had these unbearable pains she had more and more often that took away all her will to live any longer. Gail heard the door opening and someone stepping into the house. She shoved the empty tub quickly back into the drawer and shot it.

"Mommy, are you here?" Sarah's vibrant voice rang through the house.

Gail pushed herself up from the bed with great difficulty. She felt slightly dizzy that she ignored nevertheless and went over into the living room, "I'm here darling," she said tiredly.

"Imagine, Peter invited me to the school dance!" Sarah said excitedly. She checked herself over and frowned, "but unfortunately I have absolutely nothing I could put on," she now noticed how pale her mother looked, "do you have a migraine again?" She asked sympathetically.

Gail nodded. After the episodes of intense pain developed, she had to give her children a reason why she was retreating into her room sometimes and wanted to see no one. They had to think it was only about a harmless migraine that sometime went away again. But Gail knew it wouldn't take very long now till her construction of lies fell to pieces. She had a few more months left to live, the doctors told her. But Gail was still waiting for the right opportunity to tell her children about it.

"I know that I already asked for money this month, but I really need a sensible party dress!" Sarah said insistently.

Gail sighed. Sometimes she found it hard to be able to keep up with Sarah. She had been forty years old when she fell pregnant to her surprise once again. And now, at fifty-six, as she became aware of, it wasn't all that easy to understand the worries and needs of a sixteen year old.

"What's with the dress you wore at your graduation ball two years ago?" Gail enquired.

"But mommy!" Sarah rolled her eyes, "it's impossible for me to put it on. Everybody knows that!" She said with a reproachful look, "every girl buys new clothes. Besides, the dance has a particular theme."

Gail raised her eyebrows, "I haven't been so extravagant at your age," she noted, "you've only worn that dress once."

Sarah shook her head energetically, "if I'd put that on, I'd always think about Kevin. And you know already I can't stand him."

"Two years ago you still liked him," Gail pointed out.

"Two years ago..." Sarah rolled her eyes again, "I was still foolish and thought you could get pregnant by kissing," she cackled fatuously.

Gail looked at her daughter and her heart became heavy. She didn't ever really considered the fact that Sarah and Max would leave this house one day to build their own families. She suddenly became aware of the painful fact she will never experience grandchildren running around in the house.

"And what's the theme of your dance?" She asked to distract herself from the dark thoughts.

"Honeymoon," Sarah said emotionally, "isn't it romantic?"

Gail nodded.

"Every couple has to go as bride and groom," Sarah explained. Her cheek started to glow from the excitement, "thus I can have some practice already how it is to be married."

Gail smiled. To her great relief she felt the painkillers at work, "then you don't really need a party dress, you need a wedding dress," she said banteringly.

"There's a cool bridal fashion and party dress store in town," Sarah started to reveal, "Janice Pinkerton has already been there with her mother and sister. Her sister got married last summer."

"When's the dance?" Gail asked curiously.

"In ten days. So we don't have much time left. Please, mommy," Sarah pleaded, "could we go there to find a dress for me?"

Gail hesitated. She had to pack some more painkillers in case she had another attack. She hasn't been out for a long while now, apart from maybe to the supermarket on the corner. But the fear of experiencing an attack in public had held her back from bigger ventures so far, "you know exactly how to butter up your old mother," she said smiling.

"Oh thanks!" Sarah hugged her mother suddenly and tightly, "you're really the best! What would I do without you?"

Gail's smile disappeared. She would tell Sarah and Max right after the dance how things stood. It was time her children imagined life without her.

"Mommy, but you're crying!" Sarah established surprised. She hugged her mother even tighter, "surely you shouldn't be sad."

Gail consciously freed herself from the arms of her daughter and cleared her tears away from her face, "I'm not sad at all," she said while flashing a smile, "these are only tears of happiness."

Sarah nodded happily, "should I help you with the cooking?" She offered.

Gail nodded, "if you want to."

Mother and daughter went into the kitchen together to prepare lunch.


	9. Chapter 9

Kimber twirled around regarding herself selflessly in the mirror. Her and Julia had already combed more wedding salons in town and so far Kimber wasn't impressed by either of the wedding dresses. But this one here seemed to be perfect. The white satin corset was decorated with many sparkling pearls and made a fascinating contrast with the large wavy skirt that reached her ankles. Kimber had a pair of silver sandals on with high heels and she wore pearl decorated gloves that reached her elbows. Her hair was freely falling onto her shoulders and she had a diadem made out of white flowers and pearls on her head.

"You simply look enchanting," Julia said expressively, "Christian will not be able to take his eyes off you."

"I can only agree with that," the shop assistant said, "I don't have many customers who fit in a dress like that at the first try. We don't have to change much. When will the wedding be?" She enquired curiously.

"In four weeks."

The shop assistant looked at her surprised, "in four weeks already? Well, then I'll have to tell the dressmaker he has to work a little bit quicker time time," she smiled, "no worries, we'll manage that."

"Thank you," Kimber smiled.

The shop assistant stepped to Kimber and regarded her critically, "I think we should cut the fringes a bit shorter and make it a bit tighter at the waist line. Do you have a hairdresser who will arrange your hair for the day?" She enquired.

Kimber shook her head.

"In that case I could give you the address of a really good hairdresser's right now, one who specialises in wedding hairdos," the shop assistant said in her proficient way.

"Thanks, but I think I already had somebody in mind," Kimber appreciatively refused the offer.

The shop assistant frowned, "as you wish," she cleared her throat, "we still have to make an appointment to be able to make the adjustments. When would it suit you?"

"It completely depends on you," Kimber answered.

"Would the Friday next week suit you?"

Kimber nodded. She wanted to have another twirl in front of the mirror when she heard a voice from close by.

"Kimber...I mean Miss Henry...that's a surprise!" Sarah approached her with an amiable smile. She let her eyes wonder over Kimber's wedding dress admiringly, "wow, that's really like a dream!" She cried mesmerised, "when I'll get married I wanna have a dress like that too."

"Thanks," Kimber smiled. She noticed Julia's curious look and felt like she had to make the introductions, "Sarah Pollock...Julia McNamara...Julia's the wife of my fiancé's partner," Kimber explained to Sarah. She tried to ignore Julia's questioning looks. She'll tell her later about Christian's half sister.

"Hallo Sarah," Julia said as a way of greeting and smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Kimber turned to Sarah.

"I need a dress for the school dance and my mother's been so kind to drive me here," Sarah gave the information readily.

Kimber grew stiff, "your mother is also here?" She asked uncertainly.

Sarah nodded, "she'll be soon. She had to take care of the parking fee first."

Kimber stared at the entrance as if she was waiting for Gail to step into the wedding salon any time. She'd only seen Christian's mother briefly once, back at the practice as she wondered in on Christian's consultation with Gail unasked. And the whole thing happened a good few month ago now. Would she at all remember her to-be-daughter-in-law, the thought crossed Kimber's mind. And how would it feel for her to see Gail again?

"How do you know each other then?" Julia turned to Sarah.

"My mom knows Dr. Troy..." The young girl started, but Kimber didn't let her complete the sentence.

"What is the theme of your school dance?" She interrupted Sarah's words. She wanted to stop her from telling Julia too much.

"Honeymoon," Sarah answered with a sly grin.

"Then I understand why you're looking for a dress here," Kimber said smiling.

She heard the door bell and turned around.

"Finally! There you are mom!" Sarah said happily and stepped to Gail.

Kimber held her breath. She could only make a fleeting impression about Christian's mother back then. But she couldn't remember Gail being so careworn and pale. Her cheeks were sunken and her loose clothing couldn't hide the fact that under them she was completely gaunt.

"Can I introduce a friend of mine's?" Sarah turned to Kimber, "this is Kimber Henry...and this is my mom," Sarah introduced the two women to each other.

Gail lifted her head and her smiled froze onto her lips. She knew immediately who the young woman was standing in front of her in a wedding dress, "hello," She managed with difficulty.

Kimber felt her mouth getting dry. She didn't know what she should say or do. She nervously shuffled with her legs, "hello Gail," she said quietly.

Sarah turned to look away from her mother to Kimber, "ah, you know each other?" She asked surprised.

Kimber nodded unsurely. She sensed Julia's questioning look on herself and she suddenly felt very uncomfortable being herself.

Gail pointed to one of the clothes racks in one of the further away corners, "Sarah darling, go on and see if you can find the right dress for yourself," Gail tried to divert her daughter.

Sarah looked at her mother irritated for a moment before she complied in silence. She sensed the charged environment that filled the room mounting. She asked herself where her mother knew Kimber from.

Kimber had completely forgotten about Julia's presence till she heard somebody clearing her throat behind her.

"Would you like to introduce us?" Julia asked while smiling at Gail amiably.

"Of course," Kimber cleared her throat to be able to control her voice more.

"Gail, this is Julia McNamara," she introduced the two of them to each other, "Julia, this is Gail Pollock...Christian's mother."


	10. Chapter 10

After Julia and Kimber had left the wedding salon, they had decided on impulse to get a cup of coffee in a small cafeteria on the corner before heading home. They were in fact looking for a neutral place they could talk.

"When did you wanna tell me about it?" Julia opened the discussion.

Kimber put the coffee cup back down instead up lifting it up to her mouth as she'd previously intended to, "what was I supposed to say? Maybe, hey Julia, imagine this, Christian's mother surfaced again?" She shook her head, "there are things best kept for ourselves."

"Will you tell Christian?"

Kimber shook her head, "he has had it with his past. His mother is as good as dead for him."

Julia took a sip from her cup of cappuccino, "Sarah's really nice," she held, "she reminds me of Christian a bit."

Kimber smiled spontaneously when thinking of Sarah, "yes, they have a lot in common. Maybe that is why she is so sympathetic for me."

"And Christian will have no contact with his sister either?" Julia asked surprised.

Kimber sighed, "he'd built a wall around himself and doesn't let anybody through. I had already tried everything to change his ways, but he's so stubborn."

"He's afraid," Julia said thoughtfully.

Kimber lifted her eyebrows surprised. Julia was always saying out loud what she was thinking about the whole time. She knew that fear of rejection had dominated Christian's life at all times. No wonder after what he had to endure in the past. Kimber was sure he hadn't told her everything about his time with his foster parents. She knew he has been abused by his foster father for years and that he rewarded him with money and material presents for his services. But she guessed there were other things in his life he never spoke about.

"Christian has tried to hide his real feelings in front of others all the time by acting the big macho," Julia pondered on, "but deep inside he is very vulnerable and suffers more than we would think."

"I know," Kimber said quietly.

"You should go and talk to his mother," Julia said resolutely.

Kimber looked at her shocked, "I should go to Gail?" She asked surprised, "and what should I say to her?"

"You could simply give her a wedding invitation," Julia suggested.

"And surprise Christian with it on our wedding day," Kimber completed the sentence. She looked at Julia shaking her head, "I can't just invite his mother to our wedding behind his back!" She held indignantly, "he'll never forgive me for that. And the last thing I would want is this wedding to fall short again because of some crisis situation."

"You're right," Julia bit her bottom lip thoughtfully, "that was a bad idea. But still, nothing goes against you visiting her anyway and talking to her. You can maintain you want to visit Sarah."

Kimber looked at Julia uncertainly. But her determined facial expression left no doubt about the fact that she really meant what was saying.

"All right," Kimber nodded, "Christian will probably kill me, but I'll go talk to her."

---------------------------------------

A few miles away from Miami/Gail's house

Gail sat in the bedroom on the bed holding a little business card in her hand pensively. "Christian Troy-plastic surgeon," was written there with some old style letters. Gail remembered how Christian gave her the card in a little box when they were having lunch together. For your 40th mother's day, he said. She was still convinced back then she would manage to forget about the memories of that terrible year. But she didn't have the necessary strength. Christian had asked much more of her than she was able to give. And it appeared to her that the easiest way out was to simply cut any ties.

She had tried to stop thinking about him, even if he appeared in her dreams or memories from time to time. But the surprise encounter with Kimber Henry had really shown her that she wasn't over the whole thing at all. She asked herself for the first time how Christian would react to the news of her imminent death. Will he be shocked or relieved instead? Gail closed her eyes. She will never be able to make what she'd done to him right. An ice cold feeling engulfed her when she imagined how much Christian had to suffer all those years because of the scornful behaviour of his foster father. When she met him in prison for the first time in forty years he let her know he would've preferred if she was dead. Now his wish will come true thanks to destiny.

"Here you're hiding again, mommy," Sarah said, who had stepped into the bedroom unnoticed. She had her new party dress on and she walked up and down in front of Gail posing, "do you like it?" She asked with shining eyes.

Gail nodded absently. Her thoughts were still with Christian. It filled her with happiness that he had apparently really found a life partner in Kimber Henry. The young woman was sympathetic. She had made an impression of being very open and honest.

"Mommy, what are you thinking about?" Sarah looked at her mother reproachfully.

"Sorry darling," Gail stroked Sarah's cheeks gently, "I'm just tired. Shopping trips are not for women of my age."

"Are you all right?" Sarah looked at her mother concerned. She suddenly became aware of how pale she was.

"I'm fine," Gail lied, "I just need some peace, then I'll be on top form again," she forced a smile, "the dress is really wonderfully beautiful. You'll be the most gorgeous one at the dance."

"When I'll get married I'll have a dress like Kimber's," Sarah said with a gushy expression on her face.

Gail swallowed. She had presumed the discussion will lead to Kimber Henry sooner or later. Gail noticed what impression the young woman had left on Sarah. Under normal circumstances she would've been happy the two had a good relationship going. But in this case it was advisable they kept a certain distance.

"Do you know when the wedding will be?" Gail asked tentatively.

Sarah nodded, "on the 20th of May," she gave the information, "why?"

Gail twisted Christian's business card nervously around between her fingers. She didn't really know herself why she'd asked Sarah that question. Maybe it was the unconscious wish of having the chance to accompany at least one of her children on their way to their new lives. With great probability, she would not live long enough to see Max's or Sarah's wedding.

"She'll be a winsome bride," Gail avoided the question.

"Yes," Sarah smiled, "I'll get change again," she gave her mother another kiss onto her cheeks and then left the bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

Kimber's thoughts revolved around the events of the morning and the discussion with Julia all day long. The shock meeting with Christian's mother had caused her inner turmoil. She was torn between the wish to bring the two of them closer together again and the fear that she would maybe trigger something with her actions that would have some unforeseeable consequences for her future with Christian. She would've never wanted to do anything that would spoil her proximate wedding. On the other hand, she was the only one who could mediate between the two given the situation. But would Christian like any of that after he had made it completely clear he wanted no more contact with his mother? And how did things stand with Gail, did she want a reconciliation with her son?

Gail's reserved behaviour had made it hard for her to initiate a sensible conversation. The location and the time had admittedly not been exactly the best either and apparently Gail also wanted to prevent Sarah from catching too much of their conversation. Maybe it would really be best if she called on Gail at home and talked with her once more in peace. But she had to find out first to what extent was Christian prepared to approach his family again.

Kimber was suddenly interrupted in her thought process as the entrance door suddenly opened and Christian came into the apartment.

He stepped right behind her and entwined his arms around her body while letting his lips wonder along her neck, "you taste good," he moaned expressing his pleasure.

Kimber knew they would end up in bed sooner or later if she gave in now. And right at this moment in time she was interested in something else than sex out of all things, "Christian I...I would like to talk to you," she said as she noticed he started to unzip the fastener of her trousers.

"Later..." He continued unperturbed to undress her while his lips made their way down from her neckline to her breasts.

"Please...it's important!" Kimber made a last desperate try to fend him off.

To her big surprise Christian really pulled back and looked at her scrunching his forehead, "okay, what's up now?" He asked visibly annoyed by the interruption.

Kimber buttoned her blouse back up and pulled the zip of her trousers up too, "I went to set some things up about the wedding with Julia today," she explained, "we arranged quite a lot, but you'll still have to take care of a couple of things too."

Christian rolled his eyes, "are we really have to discuss that right now?" He asked sighing.

"If you didn't constantly work overtime we could talk about it at a more reasonable time as well," Kimber answered snappish, "but since I don't get to see you anytime before seven o'clock at night, there are hardly any other possibilities left."

"All right," Christian took place on the sofa in the living room reluctantly and grabbed after one of the two lists that Kimber had put together, "it doesn't look any different from the list we had for our first wedding," he muttered without thinking.

Kimber didn't let him out her sight till he went through all the items on the list. She saw as he reached for the guest list and spontaneously held her breath in.

Christian stared with an unbelieving look at the names on the list at first and then he looked up at Kimber, "you wanna invite Sarah!" He said uncomprehending.

Kimber nodded shyly. She regretted already that she put his half sister's name on the list, but he had to start with something. And inviting Sarah seemed to be less dangerous than telling him about Gail right away.

"Forget it!" Christian jumped up and started pacing up and down all riled up.

"Listen to me..." Kimber try to pacify him, but Christian silenced her with a curt gesture of his hand.

"Quiet! I don't wanna listen to anything!" He said angrily, "I had asked you to steer clear from her. Did you maybe meet her behind my back?"

Kimber felt the knot in her throat getting thicker and thicker, "it was accidental," she said deplorably, "Julia and I had met her and her..." She swallowed the rest of the sentence. Mentioning Gail's name would not exactly calm Christian down. "...and her friend in town," she completed the sentence.

Anger creased Christian's forehead, "and you had nothing better to do than invite her to our wedding right away?" He said sarcastically.

"But I didn't invite her at all!" Kimber tried to set things straight.

All the same, Christian wasn't listening at all. He was too bothered to be able to think clearly.

"You can decide who you want to be there at your wedding," he said resolutely, "Sarah or me!"

Kimber looked at him bewildered. She had no doubts he will put his threat into practice if she insisted Sarah takes part at the wedding. Christian had already made her choose once. Back then it was about her job as a o film producer.

"Sarah's a friend. She'll not find out you're her brother. I promise you I'll never tell her anything!" Kimber said desperately.

But Christian appeared to be unyielding, "it's your choice-her or me!" He said coldly.

Kimber shook her head clueless. Christian had ruined all hope of a reconciliation between him and his family taking place at last with one simple sentence.

"You're so obsessed with the idea that people could hurt you again that you don't even notice that you're hurting yourself the most!" She said, "you claim that you love me, but those are just empty words. To love is to trust and you don't have any trust in me!" Kimber fought her tears, "I will not let myself being blackmailed, Christian! You already put me in this situation once and I gave in back then. But this time I will not do that!"

She went to the door and tugged her jacket out the wardrobe.

"Where are you going?" Christian asked hardly audibly. He was surprised by Kimber's outspokenness.

"I need some fresh air!" She turned around and looked at him with tears in her eyes, "and tomorrow morning I'll call the wedding salon and cancel my wedding dress!" She opened the door and left the apartment without turning back once more.


	12. Chapter 12

Julia was just about to finish doing the dishes for the day as she heard a quiet knock on the front door. Curious about who could visit at such a late hour she went to the door, "my god, look at the state of you!" She said taken aback after opening the door, "what happened to you?"

"I...I didn't know where I should go," Kimber said uncertainly. She was looking miserable. Her hair was dishevelled and her eyes were red from the lots of crying. A dark line of daubed mascara went all the way down her face to her chin.

"Come on in!" Julia pulled her inside and showed her to a place to sit, "sit down! I'll make you a tea first. Then you'll tell me everything."

Kimber nodded. She took the hankie that Julia handed to her thankfully and blew her nose.

Julia went to the stove and put the tea water on, "what had happened?" She asked cautiously and sat down next to Kimber on the sofa.

Kimber removed the handkerchief from her face and looked at Julia desperately, "I left Christian!" She said.

"What have you done?" Julia asked unbelieving.

"I left him," Kimber cleaned her eyes with the hankie, "we had an argument and one word followed another."

"Was it because of Gail? Did you tell him you met his mother?"

Kimber shook her head, "I didn't mention Gail once."

"What was your argument about then?" Julia asked raising her eyebrows.

"It was about Sarah," Kimber put one stray lock of hair behind her ear, "I sat down to start to work on the guest list yesterday evening," she explained, "and I got the idea I could maybe put Sarah on the list," she rolled her eyes, "he completely lost it when he saw her name."

Julia shook her head reproachfully, "but you knew about Christian's point of view already. I think I would've also been angry if people double crossed me concerning things like that."

"I just wanted to help him!" Kimber held.

"All right," Julia looked at her ashamedly, "it is my fault. I had suggested that you should go to Gail. I wasn't thinking much about consequences," she sighed.

Kimber shook her head, "it's not a matter of who's fault it was. We both thought we could play destiny," she said bitterly.

"What did he say?" Julia picked up the thread again.

"He put me to choose-I either do without Sarah's presence at our wedding, or there will be no wedding at all," Kimber said dryly.

Julia shook her head clueless. She hadn't been aware that Christian would walk over his grandmother regarding the issue, "and you decided against the wedding?" She asked shocked.

Kimber shook her head, "not directly," she said hesitantly, "I simply left. I told him I'll cancel the wedding dress."

"You really said that?" Julia looked at Kimber appreciatively, "warning, finally somebody who doesn't dance when Christian Troy whistles!"

"And what was the reward for my moral courage?" Kimber said sadly. "Nothing at all. Ultimately I made everything a lot worse than it already was."

Julia shook her head determined, "you've done everything well! I would never let myself being blackmailed."

Kimber looked at her surprised, "you think leaving him was the right thing?"

"But he knows you would never leave him, the same way he would never give up the wedding," Julia said shaking her head, "what do you want to do to each other? You have tried living without one another for several weeks and it all went terribly wrong," she rolled her eyes, "your marriage will never turn into boredom. That I can guarantee you now."

Kimber smiled at that, "and what do you suggest I should do now?"

"I'll say you stay here overnight and we'll see about the rest tomorrow," Julia decided.

"What's going on here?" Sean stepped into the living room and looked from one woman to the other confused.

"Kimber stays with us tonight," Julia explained to him.

Sean raised his eyebrows, "what happened?"

Julia cast a significant look at Kimber, "will we fill him in?"

Kimber nodded. Sean and Christian were the best of friends. Maybe he would have an idea how she should play it now.

Julia told Sean in complete detail what had happened since Sarah's sudden appearance at the apartment.

"Now I understand a few things," Sean said and he raised his eyebrows, "Christian's been behaving weirdly over the last couple of days. I knew something was up, but he didn't wanna simply speak up."

"Maybe you could talk to him?" Julia suggested.

"Do you think I have such an influence of him?" Sean asked sceptically.

"It deserves a try. It cannot hurt anyway."

"All right," Sean sighed, "I'll talk to him, but I can't guarantee anything," he glanced at the clock, "it's almost ten. We should go to bed now. I have a long work day ahead of me."

Kimber smiled at him gratefully, "could you lend me some night clothes?" She turned to Julia, "I've left all my stuff at the apartment."

"Maybe I should give you some of Annie's instead," Julia held grinning, "she's almost your size."

Kimber laughed. She had trust in the future again for the first time this evening. She didn't really think Christian would make it easy for Sean, but at least he would listen to him.

Sean cleared his throat, "after you've split up the last time, I gave Christian some advice. I told him that it doesn't matter what difficulties you had in the past or even in the present. It only counts that you never stopped loving each other. And then everything else is unimportant."

Kimber swallowed her tears she suddenly felt appearing. She wished for nothing more keenly than for Sean's words to come true.

"I'll get the bed ready in the guest room," Julia said and looked at Kimber, "would you like to come with right away?"

Kimber hesitated. She turned to Sean, "thank you very much for your help!" she said with honesty.

"Should I tell him where you are?" Sean wanted to know.

Kimber hesitantly nodded.

"No worries, it will be all right," he said winking. He turned around and left the living room following Julia out.


	13. Chapter 13

_The McNamara/Troy practice_

Even without knowing about what happened between Christian and Kimber, Sean would've seen something was up. His partner and friend was in a miserable mood as he prepared for an operation in the morning. Christian was scrubbing his arms unshaven and with a grim look, he kept his head down.

"Did the razor not work?" Sean tried to open the conversation.

Christian only gave a half hearted grunt.

"It looks like you didn't get all that much sleep last night either," Sean continued unabatedly to bring him out of his shell while he was contemplating feverishly how to bring up the subject of Kimber.

Christian looked up and considered Sean with an angry gaze, "will you mind your own business!" He snarled indignantly.

Sean put his hands up defensively, "okay, but I'm responsible for the well being of our patients. And if you perform a liposuction on the patient over there in this state, then I fear for her physical well being," Sean noted dryly.

Christian took the piece of soap with which he just washed his hands and threw it at Sean.

"Hey, what's this crap?" He cried resentfully while he moved away from the missiles right in time, "it's not my fault you have relationship problems!"

Christian looked at him with a completely perplexed expression, "how do you know...?"

Sean gestured with his arms, "when you're in this mood it's almost always about you and Kimber," he cleared his throat, "what happened between you two again?"

Christian stepped to the sink and lifted the soap up again, "she left me," he said curtly.

Sean shook his head, "you trust her that little?"

"How do you mean that?" Christian scrunched his forehead.

"You've been together for a long while now. Do you really think she would leave you shortly before your wedding is due?"

"We had an argument last night," Christian started to explain stagnantly, "and then she left the apartment," he sighed, "she didn't give any sign so far. I don't have a clue where she's hiding."

"Okay, I'll tell you," Sean said sighing.

Christian looked at him puzzled.

"Kimber spent the night at our house," Sean clarified, "she told us what the quarrel was about."

Christian's eyes narrowed to slits, "how nice, everybody knows except the fiancé in question has no idea," he hissed through his pressed together lips, "you must've had good fun laughing about me, haven't you?"

"For God's sake, Christian! You don't exactly make it easy for the people on your side!"

"What did Kimber tell you?" Christian asked with a rigid face.

"She told us about Sarah and that you're not really all that delighted about the idea of your half sister being present at your wedding."

"It's not about Sarah..." Christian shook his head. He hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Gail had shut the door at my face back then. I see that as a sign she doesn't want me in her life. It was more than obvious that I'll not try to open that door once more!"

"How long has it been you've seen your mother for the last time?" Sean enquired.

Christian shrugged, "no idea, maybe five or six months."

"A long time," Sean said thoughtfully, "maybe she came to regret her decision and is only waiting for a sign from you."

"I know you only want to help me, but please stay out of my life, Sean! It's not your problem," Christian said bluntly.

Sean shook his head, "we're friends Christian and I would be a terrible friend if I'd simply let you run head on into a disaster."

"Friends accept the point of view of the other," Christian replied dryly.

Sean groaned to himself. Christian was more stubborn than a mule, "what should I say to Kimber? That she should prepare to live her life alone just because you're so pig-headed that you give up on the wedding if she invites Sarah?" He asked and looked at his friend reproachfully.

Christian closed his eyes for a moment, "I love her, Sean," he said quietly, "I don't wanna loose her. But I can't go against my principles either."

"As far as I know it's not at all about Sarah finding out who you really are," Sean held, "why don't you let her come to your wedding then?"

Christian's face suddenly turned disconsolate, "you really think she would not tell her mother about going to my wedding?" He shook his head, "why can't neither of you accept that I don't want to have anything to do with this family!"

"But why not?" Sean pressed further, "to protect Gail or yourself?"

As Christian hung his head rashly and turned away, Sean realised he had hit the nail head on, this was his weak point. It was the way he imagined. Christian stayed out his mother's way only because he was afraid of another disappointment. But he would never be happy hiding away like this, Sean was quite sure of that.

He cast a glance though the glass wall into the operations room where Liz was waiting impatiently for the two surgeons to start work.

"Come over tonight and we'll talk some more," he suggested.

Christian shook his head, "everything was said," he claimed with a voice that left no argument, "there's nothing else we could talk about!" he turned around abruptly and left the wash room.


	14. Chapter 14

Sean went home with mixed feelings after his day at work. He knew Kimber was awaiting positive news from him, but unfortunately he couldn't provide her with that. Christian was unwavering in his opinion and although Sean could also understand his point of view he felt sorry for Kimber. She had to endure so much over the last few months that Christian's threat to call off the wedding must've felt like a slap in the face for her.

Sean entered the McNamara house and was ambushed by Annie right away, "hi daddy! Imagine, Kimber went to town with me and bought me a totally cool tshirt," she blabbered out right away. She pressed her upper body forwards and showed him proudly the silvery glittering horse head overprint that was decorating the shirt.

"Really cool," Sean said winking and gestured with his thumb.

"Isn't it? And I also got some new ear rings," Annie pulled her long hair up and showed Sean her new studs.

"Very beautiful," he smiled, "are they from Kimber too?"

Annie nodded intensely, "she is so nice. Can she come more often?"

Sean muffled a grin. That reminded him of his time together with Kimber when she'd been separated from Christian and he'd been broken up from Julia for a while. Their relationship only lasted for a little while because Kimber had soon realised she belonged with Christian. But Sean remembered Annie's been quite heartbroken back then when they split up, "we'll see," he answered curtly and stroked Annie's hair softly, "where's your mom?"

"She went shopping," Annie explained, "Kimber's looking after me."

Sean nodded, "have you finished your home work yet?"

Annie frowned, "always that stupid home work!" She complained.

"Go ahead in your room please, I'll come in a minute and help you," Kimber said from the door. She had heard Sean arriving home and was curious what he could tell her about his conversation with Christian.

Sean gave Annie a loving smack to her bottom that she receipted with a silly squeak and then ran into her room laughing.

Sean watched her grinning and then turned to Kimber, "thanks for taking care of her! But you shouldn't have bothered with those expensive presents."

"It was a pleasure," Kimber answered smiling, "I had fun too going shopping with her. She took my mind off things."

"I think you're her biggest role model," Sean said smirking, "at least she listens to you when you tell her she should do her home work," he suddenly became serious again, "should we sit down?"

Kimber nodded silently. She sat down on the sofa and looked at Sean with terrified anticipation.

"I had a talk with Christian," he started uncertainly.

"He doesn't yield, does he?"

Sean shook his head, "I'm sorry," he said regretfully, "I really tried everything, but you know Christian. When he gets something in his head he doesn't give it up that easily."

Kimber nodded, "I've figured as much," she sighed deeply and ran her fingers through her hair, "what did he say?"

"He said he doesn't wanna loose you and that he loves you."

"He has a funny way to show it," Kimber said dryly, "I don't understand why he is so stubborn."

"He wants to avoid getting hurt again. And to be honest I can understand that," Sean leaned onto the table with his hands, "if somebody treated me the way Gail treated Christian, then I would certainly be hopping mad as well and would want nothing more to do with that person anymore."

"I understand his motivation, yes," Kimber admitted coming down a peg, "but he doesn't understand mine. I don't expect him to welcome his mother or even Sarah with open arms at all, but he could at least allow Sarah to come to our wedding."

"Why is this so important to you?"

Kimber hesitated with the answer. Originally her plan was to be able to get through to Gail through Sarah. But the way things stood right now, there was going to be no happy end for Christian and his mother, "I wanted his family to see what a wonderful, lovable man he is," she said quietly, "Gail had disregarded him without giving him one more chance. I thought it would be nice to have at least Sarah on our side."

Sean swallowed the knot that he felt in his throat. Kimber's confession moved him deeply, "did you tell him that?"

"No," Kimber shook her head, "I didn't have the chance. He was shouting at me right away that I should keep my mouth shut."

Sean rolled his eyes. Typical Christian, he thought, "what's with your parents by the way?" He suddenly changed the subject.

Sean's question surprised Kimber so much that it took a while till she could get herself together, "I don't wanna talk about them, okay?" She finally said with a revolted expression.

Sean didn't let it lie, "are they still alive?"

Kimber hung her head at once because she felt her eyes filling up with tears. She had always tried to forget about her parents. It reopened her wounds when she was confronted with the issue so directly, "my mother is dead," she said quietly.

"And your father?"

"Please Sean, I...I can't..." It was all she managed to say. She jumped up from the sofa and ran out the room.

"What's wrong with Kimber?" Julia asked surprised as she just stepped into the house only to see the young woman running out the room.

Sean shrugged, "no idea. I only asked her about her parents. Do you know anything about them?"

Julia held her head thoughtfully, "not much. I only know her mother is dead. She died really young when Kimber was still a child."

"That must've been very hard for her," Sean said moved.

"I don't know anything about her father. I could talk to her about it tomorrow if you want," Julia suggested, "maybe I'll find out some more."

"Yes, do that," Sean sighed, "I brought some paper work home again," he explained, "I'll do some of it till dinner's ready," he gave Julia a kiss onto her cheek and then left the living room.


	15. Chapter 15

Kimber was trashing herself around uneasily in the bed in the throws of a nightmare. She saw Quentin dressed as the Carver in front of herself as he pulled a long knife out from his dark coat with a diabolical grin on his face and went with it into the bedroom Christian was sleeping in peacefully. He raised the knife to be able to swing it at the sleeping figure as Kimber ran away without hesitation. She was staring at the long sharp knife surprised a second later as it was standing out from her chest. She saw a blood pool developing under herself, but she didn't feel any pain. She heard Quentin's mad laugh when he disappeared in thin air in front of her eyes. Kimber sunk to her knees and saw Christian still sleeping at ease with the world over on the bed. A smile played on her face before deep darkness encompassed her...and she woke up all of a sudden.

She sat up dripping with sweat and with her heart beating fast and pulled her damp hair back away from her face. She was relieved it was all just a dream. But its effect on her was still so strong her whole body was trembling. She pulled the covers back and stood up. A powerful wish to be close to Christian took over her. Kimber didn't mull over it much. She quickly slipped her clothes on and left the room. She quietly sneaked into the living room and took a slip of paper and a pen from the credenza and started writing:

_Dear Julia, dear Sean,_

thank you for everything! But it's well time I'll go on my own way again. I  
have learnt quite a lot about myself over the last twenty four hours and I  
now know what I want and I will fight to get it back.

Love,  
Kimber

Kimber put the slip of paper on the dinner table and took her jacket and car keys. She left the house and sat in her sunflower shade New Beetle. The closer she was to destination, the more nervous she became. She didn't know how Christian would react to her sudden reappearance. It was the yearning propelling her forward. She simply wanted to be with him, to touch him and hold him in her arms. Kimber didn't believe in dreams having meanings. But her dream at least shown her one thing-she had the wish to save Christian-giving her own life if it turned out to be necessary.

Kimber went up the steps to the apartment and opened the door quietly. It was well after midnight and she doubted Christian would be awake at all. She went into the bedroom and saw him lying on the bed. His naked upper body was only covered with a light blanket and he had his eyes shut breathing evenly and quietly. Kimber stepped over to the bed and gazed at the sleeping Christian. She intuitively leaned over him and gave him a kiss onto his forehead. The desire to be close to him, to stroke him overpowered her. She swiftly stripped her stuff off and lay down next to him on the bed only with her bra and briefs on. She nestled herself in at his back and closed her eyes. It didn't take her long to fall asleep.

The first thing Christian became aware of as he woke up was a leg lying across him. Even before completely opening his eyes he noted the smell of her perfume. He turned his head to the side smiling and regarded the sleeping Kimber. Carefully not to wake her up, he pulled one of her hair locks back from in front of her face. But this gentle touch was enough to wake her.

Christian held his breath in for a moment as he saw Kimber was opening her eyes. He tenderly traced the contours of her lips with his thumb while stoking her cheek with his palm, "I missed you!" He said quietly.

Kimber saw Christian's longing look and she put her arms around his neck and pulled him over herself. She still saw his surprised expression for a moment before their lips met in a passionate kiss. She heard him moaning quietly as she pressed her tongue into his mouth. The inescapable yearning to feel him completely took over her.

Christian felt her growing desire and started to impatiently unfasten her bra. The panties followed till she lay completely naked in front of him. He pulled her upwards a bit and looked at her with open desire and yearning, "my God, you're beautiful!" He said when he couldn't take his eyes off her. How could he imagine he could live without her. Kimber was like a drug for him. He was addicted to her, to her body, to her soul. He felt will-less in her proximity. But this thought didn't scare him, quite the opposite.

"I want you...now!" Kimber said wheezing as Christian started to stimulate all her erogenous zones with his lips and tongue. She cried out full of ecstasy and dig her nails in his neck when he met her wish.

Christian's pulse didn't even slow down a few minutes later, "we should break up more often," he said breathing heavily and lovingly pulled a stay hair lock away from Kimber's forehead.

She was resting in his arms placing her head on his chest and played with the hair on his upper body, "how do you mean that?" She asked confused.

Christian sighed, "if the reconciliation is always like this after that..." He cleared his throat, "man, that was...momentous!" He suddenly laughed, "you really got me."

Kimber looked up at him grinning, "I would've never thought anybody could achieve that with you."

"You've done it," he said hoarsely, "I didn't ever imagine getting married one day, settling down and having children. You're the first woman I'd like to do that with and I can well picture all that with you."

"Then you still wanna marry me?" Kimber asked unsurely.

Instead of answering Christian pulled her closer to himself again and gave her an ardent kiss onto her lips, "is the answer enough?" He asked her grinning afterwards.

Kimber nodded. His love confession moved her. She knew it didn't come easy for him to openly talk about his feelings. But she was happy he was finding the situation the way she did. She had also always secretly dreamed of becoming Mrs. Christian Troy. And although it wasn't looking good for their relationship at times, Kimber had never stopped believing in her dream. And now it was almost fulfilled. She would step in front of the altar with Christian in a month' time and they would promise each other everlasting love and trust in front of God and all the people. But before that she had to set one more thing straight.

"Christian, I'd like to explain why I wanted Sarah to come to our wedding..." She started stagnantly.

"Shush, not now!" Christian silenced her by putting a finger on her lips, "I don't wanna think of Sarah or anybody else just now," he straightened up a bit and fervently kissed Kimber's naked shoulder, "let this night belong to us and to us only."

She coiled herself out from his arms all of a sudden and stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Christian asked irritated.

"To take a shower," she looked at him with a coquettish tint in her eyes, "do you think you could put some soap on my back?"

Christian grinned, "I think I can suggest some other things too that we could do in the shower."

Kimber pulled her hair back grinning and went into the bathroom to switch on the shower.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Three weeks later_**

Kimber was crouching on the bed with her eyes shut holding a little test stick in her hand. She still hoped for the result to change, but when she opened her eyes she saw the same one blue line in the result window. She took the instructions leaflet and read the information on it for the hundredth time. Apparently she had made no mistake and she could see these blue lines in both the control window and the result window as well. And that left room for only one conclusion - she was pregnant.

Somehow she knew it the whole time and she still couldn't believe it. Right now when she had a grip on her own life again, something like that had to happen. The timing of this pregnancy was more than unfavourable. It was only last week she signed a two years contract with a respectable model agency. After more than three month of unemployment she finally got the chance to work as a model again and she had to get pregnant now of all times. Kimber counted back. It must've happened when she and Christian were celebrating their reconciliation after their break up.

Kimber stood up and paced up and down in the room sighing. She felt more like crying than laughing at the moment. What's more, it was her own fault she was in a jam. She didn't take contraception so seriously lately and since she and Christian were in a good monogamous relationship he had also completely given up using condoms. Consequently it was only a matter of time till something like this did happen. And even so, the news surprised her.

She inspected herself in the big wall mirror in the bedroom and pulled her blouse high up. She regarded her body critically to spot any possible changes. So far nothing seemed to be different. Her stomach was as flat as before and as ever, her hips were small, solely her breasts looked as if they were a bit fuller. She turned around and fastened the buttons of her blouse back up covering her attractive figure.

She knew it wouldn't take long for people to notice she was pregnant. She could judge it as she just saw it all happening to Julia. Nobody could spot anything during the first few weeks, but by the fourth month her baby bump had unmistakably appeared. She was only in the sixth month now and not even one piece of clothing she wore before suited her anymore. Kimber hoped her body will not change too much till the wedding. Her dress was made to suit her after all and she couldn't afford to put on one ounce.

She glanced at the clock. She didn't have much time left. Sarah was probably already waiting for her in the cafe. Since her quarrel with Christian she had left the issue lying. He had made his position completely clear, he didn't want any contact with his sister, let alone his mother. And Kimber had complied-at least in her own way. She had called Sarah a couple of days ago and they agreed to meet. Kimber knew Christian would certainly loose it if he found out about it. But as he was busy at the practice day by day anyway, he could hardly notice anything.

Kimber felt the nervous anticipation slowly taking hold of her the closer she got to the coffee bar. She only relaxed when she saw Sarah sitting at a table. 

"I'm sorry, I'm late," she apologised to the young girl.

"It doesn't matter," Sarah smiled, "it's nice to see you!"

"Did you come with the bus?" Kimber asked curiously.

Sarah nodded, "but I'll have my first driving lesson in a couple of days. And when I'll have a licence, I'll buy a car and I'll drive everywhere I want to," she grinned.

Kimber laughed. The world seemed to be completely uncomplicated for Sarah. She had a solution for everything.

"So what's the great news?" Sarah asked suddenly, "you told me on the phone you have to tell me something important."

Kimber scrunched her forehead. She actually wanted to tell Sarah she was going to work as a model again, but under the circumstances nothing will come true of that, "I'm pregnant!" She said.

Sarah looked at her surprised for a moment, but then her eyes started to lit up, "really? Wow, that's great news! I'm happy for you! When are you due?"

"No idea," Kimber shrugged, "I only know about it since..." She looked at her watch, "since exactly forty five minutes ago."

"Then your fiancé doesn't know about it at all?" Sarah asked surprised.

Kimber shook her head. She already regretted involving Sarah. She didn't even decide yet if she wanted to keep this baby at all. And the less people knew about her pregnancy, the better it was.

"My mom is a midwife you know," Sarah interrupted Kimber's thoughts, "maybe she could give you a few pointers," she suggested.

Kimber froze, "don't...don't tell your mom anything about this please!" She said.

Sarah scrutinised her, "what has happened between you two?" She asked inquisitively.

"Why do you think something happened between us?" Kimber was becoming increasingly more nervous.

"I don't know," Sarah shrugged, "it's only just a hunch. Mom was behaving so weirdly after you met each other at the wedding salon."

"Did she say anything to you?"

Sarah shook her head, "no, nothing specific at all. She only wanted to know when you're getting married."

Kimber looked up wonderingly. The fact that Gail wanted to know when her son was getting married was a good sign in her eyes. Apparently it wasn't all that completely indifferent for her as she wanted everybody else to believe.

"Are you nervous? I mean I'd be nervy," Sarah said and looked at Kimber curiously.

"Because of the wedding? No," Kimber shook her head.

She wasn't nervous because of the imminent wedding, but more so because she knew she should decide for the baby. She was aware that Christian's greatest wish was becoming a father. Ever since he had lost Wilbur, there was nothing in his life that could fill that place in his heart. Kimber closed her eyes. She imagined her everyday life with a baby. Christian would work till late at night as usual and pursue his carrier as a successful surgeon while she sat at home trying to lead a life amongst nappies, baby food and crying. Kimber pulled her shoulders high because she suddenly felt freezing cold. She couldn't have this baby, not this time. She wasn't ready yet to give everything up for a child.

She hurriedly stood up from her chair, "I'm sorry but I just remembered I have another appointment with my dressmaker," she lied.

Sarah looked at her irritated, "but you've just arrived. When can we see each other again then?"

"I don't know yet. I'll call you, okay?"

Sarah hung her head and nodded.

Kimber saw as Sarah's face fell and she felt suddenly quite repentant. Hurting Sarah was the last thing she wanted, "I'll make it up to you. I promise," she stroke the young girl's face lightly.

"Could you make me a few photos for me so that I can at least see how you look as a bride?" Sarah asked quietly.

Kimber nodded. She felt her eyes filling with tears all of a sudden. She turned around quickly and left the coffee shop.


	17. Chapter 17

Christian was sitting in the consultations room looking at the patient file in front of him with mixed feelings. The name that was printed right at the top was not unfamiliar to him. He'd seen her over a year ago for the last time. He had broken up with her back then and threw her out like a piece of junk. He sighed deeply. It wasn't easy to make the decision to do so, but he wasn't ready for such a steady relationship. Kimber had only had something to do with this decision in a roundabout way. She had opened his eyes to the fact that he wasn't for tricky relationships. Although he had just commented on that over the last few days. Kimber had constantly been irritable, unreasonable and broke into tears for every minuscule thing. Christian asked himself if he had to tolerate her mood swings all his life now. But he comforted himself with the idea that it was all about the current situation only and everything will get back on the right track after the wedding.

He looked up as somebody knocked on the door and Linda stepped in with the patient, "Dr. Troy, Miss Charles is here-your eleven o'clock appointment."

Christian nodded while staring at the young woman terrified. People could only image how beautiful she once must've been. Ugly scars marked her face and where there has been a shapely nose once, was only a deformed lump of tissue. The sentence he prepared to greet the patient with remained stuck in his gorge. Christian cleared his throat so that he could speak at all, "hello Natasha..."

"Hello Christian," she crossed her legs and put the dark glasses she wore when she went out in public down, "you were right. I should've never went out the street by myself." There was a tang of bitterness in her voice.

He swallowed. He remembered those being his last words to her before he threw her out of his apartment, "a...car accident?" He asked sluggishly.

Natasha nodded, "my lawyers are still arguing with the other party who's fault it was," she took a deep breath before continuing, "I would've never thought I'll be pleased not to see. At least I don't have to see my face in the mirror every day this way."

Christian looked down shocked, "I'm...sorry," he muttered.

"It's not your fault," she shook her head, "I didn't come here to give you a bad conscience. I came because you're the best."

Christian cleared his throat, "Sean's the best. He's done hundreds of nose reconstructions already. I've only been assisting him so far."

"Oh yes I forgot. You're specialised at the upper body parts of women instead," noted Natasha ironically.

Christian knew that was only intended as a joke, but her could not laugh at it at all, "I've changed. I'm not the one you once knew," he said composedly.

Natasha leaned a bit forward and put her arms out in his direction, "let me see you!"

Christian leaned forwards hesitating and closed his eyes when she lay her hands on his face and traced every area on it with her sensitive fingertips, "you have some wrinkles that were not there before," she said after her full inspection, "and you need a shave again," she added smiling.

Christian leaned back. Natasha had always possessed the ability to look deep into the bottom of people's souls. He wasn't exactly sure though he would've wanted to experience that at the moment.

"I think it would be better if you'd made another appointment with Sean," he said tentatively.

"I don't want Sean, I want you!"

Christian felt his mouth getting dry, "why?"

"Because nobody knows my face better than you," Natasha said bluntly, "you held it in your hands a hundred times while stroking and kissing me."

Christian started to fumble with the ballpoint pen fretfully, "that is exactly why I don't want to operate on it," he said quietly.

"But you know the way I previously looked. And it's only you who can make me look the same way I was. Please Christian! I want you to perform the operation," she implored him.

Christian felt as if he would've been forced to the wall with his back. He was getting married to Kimber in just one week. And yet his ex lover expected him to operate on her. A clear inner conflict, especially as he found it somewhat paradoxical since he had once jilted Natasha because of Kimber, "I...I can't."

"Do you hate me so much you can't stand looking at me?" She asked quietly.

Christian shook his head, "I don't hate you and believe me I've seen worse since I've been practising plastic surgery."

"Then do the operation for me!" She repeated her plea.

Christian hesitated for a moment, "well, all right," he finally agreed.

"You can't even imagine how much this means to me!" She said and smiled. She palpated her way to the other side of the table to his hands and took them up to her lips, "thanks!" She breathed.

Christian felt his pulse accelerating. Her lips were the only area on her face that were not affected by the accident. They felt the exact same way as before, he established.

"I have to go now," she stood up abruptly, "I'll call you to make another appointment for discussing the details of the procedure," she said.

"I actually only have appointments available for this week," Christian said quickly. 

"What's with next week?" Natasha asked surprised. 

"I'm taking a couple of days off," Christian allowed himself a smile, "time off for the honeymoon to be exact."

Natasha froze for a moment, "you're getting married?" She asked incredulously.

"I told you already I became another person."

"I didn't think you could be happy with just the one woman," Natasha noted dryly.

Christian noticed the irony in her voice, "she'd changed me. She made me a new man," he explained.

"Does SHE have a name too?"

Christian cleared his throat, "Her name is Kimber."

"Kimber..." Natasha let the name roll slowly down her tongue as she looked up as if she'd would've wanted to remember something, "oh yes," he said finally, "Chanel no 5."

"What?" Christian looked at her irritated.

"She uses Chanel no 5. At least she's been using a year ago," Natasha threw at him.

Christian nodded, "she still wears that."

Natasha stood up sighing, "she has good taste...and not only to do with perfume," she said with a knowing smile, "I'll call you tomorrow to arrange for an operation," Natasha unfolded her blind stick, "has your phone number change since?"

Christian shook his head unthinkingly.

"Good, then we'll talk tomorrow." A hardly perceptible smile flashed over her face before she turned around and found her way out.


	18. Chapter 18

_Gail's house_

Gail leaned a bit forward and cast a glance into the oven where the lunch for herself and Sarah, a noodle croquette was still sizzling away. She suddenly felt really dizzy as she straightened up again. She held on to the cooker and tried to overcome it by breathing evenly and calmly. She has been feeling for days her health going downhill even faster now. None of the medication she took against the symptoms of her cancer were working properly anymore. And she knew the dizziness spells were only the beginning. Gail turned the oven sighing off.

She was alone in the house with Sarah at the moment. Max went to Hawaii to surf with a couple of his colleagues from the Uni. She only let him go forlornly as she didn't know if it might've been the last time he could see her alive. But she finally relented his wish. It could've really been the last time she could fulfil one of his wishes.

Gail went through the hall and stepped into Sarah's room without knocking, "are you coming to eat then darling?" She asked. She regarded the chaos before her surprised after that.

Sarah was sitting on her bed. All around her there where different types of wrapping paper rolls that she halfway already rolled out. A plush dog of realistic size sat next to the bed to make the chaos a little bit more perfect. 

"What's going on here?" Gail asked confused. 

"Would you choose the pink paper with the blue elephants on or the dark blue with the yellow ducks instead?" Sarah asked and scratched her head, "I also have a middle-of-the-road one, that's green," she lifted up the additional roll for her mother to see it, "I simply can't decide," she sighed.

"What's the occasion?" Gail asked uncertainly.

"A wedding," Sarah pulled the huge plush dog up to the bed next to herself and showed it off proudly to her mother, "cute, isn't it?" 

Gail looked at her daughter distraught, "for a wedding? But...so who's getting married?"

"Yes, so you forgot?" Sarah asked reproachfully, "Kimber's the one getting married next week."

Kimber! Gail suddenly remembered Sarah having told her that Kimber and Christian were intending to get married on the twentieth of May. So it was really happening, Christian will step in front of the altar.

She felt as if she was hardly getting enough air, "I...forgot," she said, "why...are you sending a plush dog for her as a wedding present?" She only just finished the sentence when it all became suddenly clear. She knew now what the plush animal and the colourful baby wrap meant.

"Sarah's answer, "Kimber's expecting!" only reached her through a mist of fog. Gail felt another dizziness spell coming on paired with an ample head ache that made her spontaneously close her eyes. The news that Kimber was pregnant, Christian will become a father and herself a grandmother was a little bit too much for her. She felt all her energy being sipped away from her body.

She was still vaguely aware as everything started spinning around her and the floor slowly came closer to her. She even heard Sarah's scream of horror before she gave herself over to the redemptory darkness. 

--------------------------------------------

_Christian's apartment_

Kimber set her travel bag onto the bed and hesitantly started to gather a few things. She had just been assured on the phone by the abortion clinic that the procedure would only last a few minutes and then she could go home straight away, but she didn't wanna show up there completely empty handed. Kimber put one of her nighties into the bag too and then she pulled the zip up. She glanced at the clock. If she was lucky, she would be back before Christian came home from the practice. No more baby, no more worries and nobody would find out about it.

The friendly voice on the phone assured her that the intervention was completely painless and free of complications. Abortion was easiest and the most straightforward at the current stage of her pregnancy, at around between the fourth and twelfth week. She would get a mild local anaesthetic and would hardly feel anything during the procedure. Just as simple as liposuction, it crossed Kimber's mind.

She wiped away a tear from her face that escaped her eye unnoticed by her. She made her mind up, there was no turning back. Last evening's been like torment for her. Christian's been so endearing with her the way he hasn't been for a long while. He brought her flowers, her favourites, something he would normally not do. Kimber was considering whether to tell him about the baby. But with the thought of a possible abortion in the back of her mind, she quickly gave up on the idea.

She still had no idea how she'll explain the abortion away later. The argument that she couldn't work as a model anymore if she refused the offer of the model agency now was a weak excuse. The generally popular saying, I don't feel mature enough for a child, didn't work when somebody was already approaching their thirtieth birthday. In a few years' time she would be too old to bear children. And people couldn't exactly describe Christian young either with his almost forty one years. They were both long past their prime and even so, Kimber was sure she was doing what was best for her. First of all she would keep the secret for herself. But she already knew she couldn't live with it for long. She had kept so many things secret about her past, but this was something that concerned both of them.

Kimber stood up and grabbed the bag sighing. It was getting to the time she should've been going. She had called in the morning and got an appointment for the afternoon already. Kimber had wondered about the abortion clinics giving out appointments so quick and easy. She sometimes had to wait two weeks for an appointment with her dentist. 

She was already on her way out when the phone rang. Kimber hesitated for a moment. The answer machine could take it. She heard the long beeping sound and a female voice after that speaking at the other side of the line.

"Hello Christian, it's Natasha here. I'm calling because of the appointment. Unfortunately this week doesn't suit me at all. I'll be..."

Kimber was at the telephone with a couple of steps and picked up the receiver, "hello?" 

"Oh, there's somebody there after all."

"Kimber Henry, I'm Dr. Troy's..." She introduced herself, but she was interrupted.

"I know who you are. I'm Natasha Charles. I wanted to leave a message for Christian."

"He's at the practice," Kimber said tersely. She asked herself what had Christian said about her.

"I already tried there, but I was told Christian was in the operations room. I only wanted to leave a message for him on the answer machine."

"In that case what kinda appointment is it about?" Kimber asked distrustfully. It struck her how the patient was calling him tete a tete by his first name.

"I think there are things that the patient would only disclose to his doctor."

"Listen Miss..."

"Call me Natasha."

There was a short pause when neither of the women spoke.

"You really don't know who I am, do you?" Natasha asked suddenly. 

Kimber clutched the receiver. She was thinking about why the name was familiar to her the whole time. And suddenly she remembered. Natasha Charles was the blind young woman Christian had a relationship with for a couple of months before he came back to her. 

Her mouth became dry all of a sudden. Christian had apparently met his ex lover again, it crossed her mind. Now she also understood why he was working so much overtime over the last time. He had been cheating on her behind her back the whole time! Kimber started to tremble on the inside and a sob was choking her.

"I...I have an important appointment," she muttered before switching off the handset abruptly. She threw it carelessly onto the bed, grabbed her bag and left the apartment in a hurry as if she was escaping from somewhere.

tbc


	19. Chapter 19

_Miami Dade Family Abortion Clinic_

Kimber stepped into the clinic hesitantly and went over to the reception, "Kimber Henry. I have a two o'clock appointment."

The receptionist smiled and shoved a registration form in front of her, "could you fill this out please and sit down for a moment afterwards?" 

Kimber nodded. She took the pen into her trembling hands and filled the patient file out. She could hardly concentrate on the words as she wrote. There was the sound of quiet music in the background. Probably it was meant to help the patient relax or take their feeling of guilt away, it crossed her mind. She gave the receptionist the completed form back.

"Then you could sit down in the waiting room for a little while," the receptionist repeated her invitation and smiled at her encouragingly. 

Kimber nodded. She went over to the seats that were there for people to wait. A young couple was sitting in the corner. They looked about half the age of Kimber, maybe sixteen, seventeen, Kimber guessed. They sat next to each other in silence holding each other's hand as if they were trying to offer each other courage and comfort. Kimber swallowed. She suddenly realised she was all alone. She would go into a consultation room, let some procedure happen and then come back out as if nothing had happened. Nobody would be there waiting for her outside. She closed her eyes and noticed surprised she was tasting her own salty tears on her lips. She had never felt so lonely in her entire life. Actually, once, when her mother left her when she was as child. But losing a child wasn't the same as losing her mother. Kimber remembered that she wished back then she would be dead instead.

"Miss Johnson?" The receptionist called the young girl.

Kimber saw the young woman breaking into tears as she stood up. She hugged her boyfriend once more and then followed the receptionist into the consultations room.

Kimber could see the doubt and fear in the eyes of the young man. She knew how helpless and weak people felt when they had to accept things that seemed inevitable and against which they innerly rebelled. She had felt the exact same when doctors told her that her mother will die. She was twelve years old at that time. Her father had broke down in tears on the spot and she took him mutely into her arms, stroke him over the head and promised him everything would be fine. But she couldn't keep her promise.

Kimber was fighting with her tears. Why did she have to think about that right now. She saw the door of the consultations room opening again and the young girl came out. Her eyes were well red from crying and she had trouble keeping herself together. Kimber looked at the clock. She established surprised that twenty minutes have passed already since the young woman left the waiting room. A manicure at the beauty salon took longer, Kimber thought bitterly.

The receptionist nodded towards her, "Miss Henry. You're next."

Kimber stood up uncertainly and grabbed her bag. The few steps to the consultations room suddenly seemed to turn into insurmountable obstacles. She reluctantly stepped in and was introduced to the doctor after a curt greeting.

"You can get undressed behind the parapet," he explained and pointed to the folding screen, "there's a gown waiting for you there. When you're ready we can start right away."

Kimber nodded. She glanced at the gynaecologic table with fear before clutching her bag tightly onto herself and disappearing behind the parapet. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_McNamara/Troy_

"What's wrong? You're so quiet," Sean established while watching Christian placing the scalpel in position and making an incision below the breast of the patient.

"I'm concentrating that's all," he mumbled, "please give that implant over will you."

Sean handed him the sachet of silicon and shook his head, "you have performed procedures like this in your sleep before and you didn't need to think about it much. How many breast enlargements have you done in your carrier as a plastic surgeon already?" He asked.

"No idea," Christian shrugged, "enough."

"Enough," Sean nodded, "that's why I find it surprising you work so sternly on this one."

Christian stopped in his tracks for a short time and looked up, "there was a patient here for consult yesterday," he started to tell the story hesitantly, "she was badly disfigured when she suffered a car accident. There are imperfectly healed scars on her face and her nose was deformed. The procedure's more complicated than just your normal rhinoplasty. The nose has to be fully rebuilt. I told her I couldn't get much practice with such procedures of nose reconstruction so far and had suggested she sees you."

"No problem," Sean said casually while he handed Christian the surgical needle with the suture, "tell me what her name is and I'll call her to set up on an appointment."

Christian inhaled deeply before answering, "Natasha Charles."

Sean's head jerked up, "what?! Natasha had a car accident?" He asked visibly shaken by the news.

Christian nodded.

"How awful!" Liz edged in a word, "this beautiful woman! Sometimes destiny's really barbarous. To be blind and disfigured..." She stopped and shook her head sadly.

"She wants me to operate on her," Christian said hesitating, "I agreed to it, but I don't know if it was a good idea."

"Why not?" Sean looked at Christian bemused, "because you were together once?"

Christian nodded, "and because I don't think it would be fair on Kimber."

"Unfair on Kimber?" Liz chipped in, "you don't wanna fuck her on the operating table, you only want to operate on her!" She said shaking her head.

"Liz!" Sean cast the anaesthesiologist an austere look, "but Liz's right," he turned back to Christian, "you have to keep your private and professional life separate. Natasha is your patient, Kimber's your future wife," he rolled his eyes, "you can't have your conscience picking at you every time you meet a patient you once..." He cleared his throat, "a patient you once had an affair with," he completed the sentence at last.

"You're behaving quite as if I would've been in bed with half of McNamara/Troy's female patients!" Christian interjected indignantly.

"Only with half?" Liz rolled her eyes, but then turned back to her work quickly again as she saw both surgeons casting killing glances into her direction.

"Whatever," Sean said gruffly, "fact is that you can not allow your personal feelings to get in the way here at the practice. We are primarily physicians who have the task to meet patients' needs."

Christian nodded uncertainly. He knew Sean was right, but on the other side he feared Natasha understood something entirely different under patents' needs than Sean, "I'll call her and tell her I have reached a decision. Would you assist me with the operation?"

"Of course," Sean smiled. He looked over to the patient, "we should finish up quickly here and then call it a day." 

Christian looked at the wall clock surprised. It was only just after four o'clock, "we don't have any other operations on the books to do today?" He asked.

Sean shook his head, "no, not today," he started to smirk, "lotsa time for you and Kimber to practice for the honeymoon."

"We don't have to practice for that," Christian laughed. He finished the last stitch and then headed out, "all right, let's call it a day!"


	20. Chapter 20

_Abortion clinic_

While Kimber started to get slowly undressed behind the folding screen she unexpectedly got engulfed by a feeling she had never experienced before. The feeling to protect what she was carrying inside. Maybe it was an instinct only mothers had when they felt the child was in danger. Kimber's been ignoring things like that so far. But she had seen this phenomenon happening to other women who were pregnant or had children already. Kimber froze and looked deeply into herself. She was sure all of a sudden that she wanted to have this baby, even if she still had reservations about it.

She didn't know what was going on between Christian and this Natasha, but she would do everything to win him back. She would not give it all over to his ex lover without a fight. Christian had had so many affairs with so many women before her and he always came back to her all the time in spite of everything. They probably only shared a physical attraction, Kimber cogitated. Which man could resist the charms of an attractive woman after all? Not even the wedding would make Christian Troy a saint. Kimber was absolutely clear about that. 

She would almost certainly be a lousy mother and her carrier as a model would then definitely be over for ever. She would look like an inflated balloon at the end of this pregnancy and she would possibly never get her old form back. But the more she thought about it the less appalling she found the thought. She would get something wonderful in exchange-a miniature edition of Christian and herself, a living, breathing being with the ability to give and receive love. Kimber buttoned her blouse back up and stepped in front of the screen, "I simply can't do it!" She said.

The doctor nodded, "I'm happy you decided otherwise."

"You're not...angry?" Kimber asked taken aback.

A smile flashed over the otherwise always serious face of the doctor, "I became a doctor to safe lives in the first place. And I'd much rather watch deliveries at the hospital again then perform abortions here," he confessed to her, "but sometimes you can't even choose what you wanna do for a living if you're a doctor."

Kimber nodded understanding, "my fiancé is also a doctor," she explained.

"Well, then you already know what I'm talking about," he cleared his throat, "can I give you some advice?"

"Of course," Kimber nodded.

"Go shopping, cook your fiancé's favourite dish and tell him about the baby under candle light and music."

Kimber looked at the doctor surprised, "do you give this advice to all your patients?"

"No," he shook his head, "only to those ones who decide against the abortion," he sighed deeply, "but they are not at all so numerous."

Kimber hung her head touched, "thanks..." She said quietly. 

"What for?" He shrugged, "I did nothing. The decision came from you, virtually from your heart and I can assure you that you'll never come to regret it."

"Where do you know that from with such certainty?" She asked astonished. 

The doctor suddenly broke into a laugh, "I have three children myself. And believe me I wouldn't ever wish for anything else," he nodded towards her, "I wish you and your fiancé all the best with the pregnancy."

Kimber sighed relieved outside the doors of the clinic. As if a heavy burden would've fallen off her shoulders. A never before experienced happy feeling flew though her. She gently placed her hands on her tummy.

"And now we'll drive home and tell your daddy," she said smiling. She stepped into her car and turned on the engine. 

---------------------------------------------

Christian opened the door of his apartment and put his stuff down before going further into the living room. He wondered about the silence. Normally Kimber would have the hi-fi or the television on when she was in. She had once told him they made her feel less lonely a bit. Christian wandered through the rooms of the apartment scrunching his forehead, but there was no sign of Kimber.

He went over to the bed sighing and pulled the sweaty shirt over his head. His eyes fell on the bed where the phone was lying that Kimber had carelessly threw to the side after Natasha's call. Christian picked up the phone surprised. As a rule, it wasn't Kimber's style to let things lie around just like that. It was more like her, the perfectionist, who had given him into trouble for his slouchyness. And it also wasn't her style to disappear without leaving a message for him.

Christian scratched his head pensively while staring at the handset irresolutely. Maybe she got a call and decided to leave again, he considered. Or perhaps she called somebody and had decided on a whim to meet that person. He pressed the redial button on impulse. 

"Miami Dade Family Clinic, how can I help you?" A friendly voice answered at the other side of the line.

Christian held the receiver in his hand like a statue. As a doctor he was familiar with all the medical facilities in town and he knew this was the clinic that performed abortions. Why had Kimber called an abortion clinic? The sudden realisation shocked him.

"Hello, are you still there?" The voice on the phone asked impatiently. 

Christian let himself drop onto the bed as he felt as if his legs would give way under him. A sudden strong feeling of nausea overwhelmed him and he started to breath more rapidly, "Kimber...Henry?" He said with all the strength he had left.

"She'd already left the clinic three hours ago," the friendly voice gave the information, "she had a two o'clock appointment."

"Thanks..." That was all Christian could say before he ran into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. Why did Kimber not tell him about the pregnancy? Why did she go to this clinic and killed their child?

Tears of despair and grief ran down his face. He weakly leaned onto the bathroom door. They could've found another solution to the problem, he thought despondently. He knew Kimber had panicky fear not to lose her perfect figure. Had this been the reason for the abortion or was it because she had signed a two years contract with this model agency? And where was she hiding anyway if she had already left the clinic three hours ago? There were a lot of questions and uncertainties.

Christian let the door go and went back into the bedroom. He cleaned his face with the back of his hand and put his shirt on in a hurry. He could only think of one place she could be at-Sean and Julia's house. Christian grabbed the car keys and left the apartment.


	21. Chapter 21

Kimber had only been driving a couple of meters when her cell started to ring. She quickly pulled down to the side of the road and pressed the talk button, "hello?"

She only heard a quiet sob at the other side of the line.

"Sarah?" Kimber asked aggravated when she recognised the voice, "what's wrong?" 

Kimber listened to Sarah's unclear babbles that her mother had collapsed and was in hospital now.

"Listen, I'm coming to the hospital as quickly as I can!" She promised the young girl.

Kimber ended the call and steered the car back into the lane. While driving towards the hospital she wondered what was going on. When they have last met she had noticed how pale and skinny Gail looked. Maybe she was too drained, Kimber guessed. She was lucky to find a parking space right away in front of Cedars Medical Centre's main building. She stepped in and went to the information desk, "I'd like to see Gail Pollock," she said to the lady at the information, "something happened to her and she was brought in here."

"Room 407, level four, down the left corridor," the lady gave her the directions curtly.

"Thanks," Kimber took the elevator and then she was searching for the room number down the corridor. She hesitated for a moment before stepping into the sick room. She didn't know how Christian's mother would react to seeing her. After she had stressed back then she didn't want any more contact, this encounter could be quite a shock for her. But Kimber told herself she was there for Sarah first of all, to give her some moral support. Kimber inhaled deeply and opened the door. She saw Sarah sitting on a chair next to her mother holding her hand. She had hung her head and was crying quietly. She didn't seem to take in what was going on around her and only reacted when Kimber touched her softly on the shoulder, "Sarah?"

Sarah looked up surprised. Kimber saw her eyes were rather red and swollen from crying.

"I'm so glad you're here!" She said in a choked voice. She pointed to her mother, "she simply lost consciousness. I asked the doctor what was wrong, but he just didn't wanna tell me anything," she started crying again.

Kimber stroked her on the head reassuringly. She looked over to the bed where Gail was still lying comatose. Kimber's stomach tightened at the sight. A breathing tube with oxygen was placed into both her nostrils and a drip was dangling above her head that every couple of seconds supplied her veins with some clear fluid through a thin tube. Kimber suddenly felt like an ice cold hand was grabbing at her heart. Traces of memory crowded her awareness. She's been faced with the same sight once before. Her mother had been lying there the same way in the past shortly before it was all over for her. Kimber relived in her mind's eye as the quiet beeps of the heart monitor changed to a drawn out continuous tone and she remembered how her father collapsing by the bed of his dying wife.

"Why could it be nobody tells me what's wrong with mom?" Sarah interrupted Kimber's thoughts.

"I...I'll talk to the doctor," Kimber said hardly audibly. She hoped that her gut reaction will not be confirmed. She instinctively knew it was more behind Gail's illness than Sarah presumed. Kimber stood with trembling knees, "stay with your mom till then," she said to Sarah, "I'll see outside if I can find a doctor I could talk to," Kimber left the sick room and addressed a nurse just coming along the corridor outside, "I would like to speak to the doctor in charge of Mrs. Pollock's case," she said.

The nurse nodded, "I'll have him paged. Just a minute."

Kimber was awaiting the conversation with the doctor with nervous tension. Finally she saw a tall, middle aged man coming towards her in his white doctor outfit. His dark brown hair was shining grey at many parts and he was wearing glasses.

"I'm Dr. Jeffries, the doctor who treats Mrs. Pollock," he introduced himself and nodded towards Kimber.

"Kimber Henry. I'm Mrs. Pollock's...daughter in law."

"Let's go into my office," Dr. Jeffries suggested and showed Kimber the way. 

"You must know about Mrs. Pollock's condition?" Dr. Jeffries asked and pushed his glasses further up on his nose as they sat down opposite each other in the office.

Kimber nodded mutely. In reality she had absolutely no idea, but if she made herself out as a member of the family already, it was rather likely she should've been aware of her mother in law's state of health. 

Dr. Jeffries took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, "I already told her the last time that chemotherapy would be absolutely imperative if we would want to stop the cancer from spreading. But she didn't want to listen to me..."

Kimber suddenly started to react to everything around her as if she would've been in trance. There was only one thought that got through. Gail had cancer! Kimber felt her heart stopping for a moment. So her gut feeling didn't fail her. Gail will share the same destiny as her own mother once. Kimber swallowed her tears that she felt appearing all of a sudden, "how...for how long has she known about it?" She struggled to ask.

Dr. Jeffries put his glasses back up and looked through the patient files, "about six months," he explained, "I have warned her of the risks back then, told her what was gonna happen if she refused chemotherapy," he scratched his head, "but she said there was nobody who could take care of the kids in the meantime."

"I didn't know it was so bad," Kimber said quietly, "will she...die?" She asked stagnantly.

Dr. Jeffries cradled his head thoughtfully, "I'm not God, Miss..."

"Henry, Kimber Henry," Kimber said quickly.

"...Miss Henry," Dr. Jeffries continued, "it doesn't look good at the moment I must admit. I only see a chance for her if we start her on chemotherapy right away. But even then the odds are fifty fifty."

"Then do it please," Kimber said pleadingly.

Dr. Jeffries shook his head, "we can't do anything without the consent of the patient."

"Could I not sign for it?" Kimber looked at the doctor pleadingly, "I'm an adult and a family member. Is that not enough?"

Dr. Jeffries put his glasses in place on his nose and regarded Kimber with a long, thoughtful look.

"Please!" Kimber didn't have any more energy left to fight her tears, "eighteen years ago I had to watch my mother dying from lung cancer," she said with her voice muffled by tears, "I'll not just sit and watch as my mother in law shares the same destiny!"

Dr. Jeffries seemed visibly touched by Kimber's confession, "I'm very sorry!" He hesitated for a moment and Kimber could see from his facial expression that he was struggling with himself innerly, "all right," he said finally, "I'll organise everything that's necessary. We'll start her on the drip right away. It usually works the fastest that way. Sure enough she'll have to stay in hospital for a few days."

"A few days?" Kimber asked grief stricken. She was thinking of her wedding on the coming Sunday.

"Ten days the most," Dr. Jeffries nodded.

Kimber felt her heart sinking. How should Christian step in front of the altar when his mother was fighting death in the hospital?

Dr. Jeffries took the consent form and gave it over to Kimber above the table, "if you could sign here at the bottom please!"

Kimber put her signature down mechanically onto paper after checking through the lines. She asked herself desperately how she should explain to Christian that they couldn't get married at the weekend as planned. 

"Is it possible you take care of the young girl till her mother's in hospital?" Dr. Jeffries interrupted Kimber's thoughts.

She closed her eyes. She completely forgot about Sarah. It was clear of course that the sixteen year old couldn't stay at home all by herself. More and more problems began to strike her and she had no idea how she could solve even one of them. She nodded hesitantly.

"All right," Dr. Jeffries smiled all of a sudden, "we'll see each other again tomorrow," he offered his hand as a good bye.

Kimber left the parlour office like doped and went over to Gail's sick room where Sarah was already waiting for her impatiently.

"What's wrong with my mom? Did you talk to one of the doctors?" It bubbled out from Sarah. 

Kimber nodded, "she's sleeping now," she said so demonstratively calmly as possible, "the doctors want to keep her here for observation for another couple of days. No worries," she continued as she saw Sarah's shocked expression, "your mom is in the best of hands here."

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Sarah asked fearfully.

"I'll explain everything to you later. But let's go home first," Kimber avoided the answer.

Sarah nodded. She reluctantly stood up and cast another glance at her sleeping mother before following Kimber.


	22. Chapter 22

Christian hoped he will avoid the police patrol as he was driving down the highway with far too much speed. He didn't know what he should say to Kimber or how he should react at all to her getting rid of their child. He only knew he felt a wild anger in his stomach that made itself noticed in his driving style. Christian clasped the steering wheel tighter. He turned the volume of the cd player to the maximum till the basses thudded the pain limit of his ears. But he noticed this couldn't even stop his thoughts from revolving around Kimber and the baby.

Christian only noticed the turn off almost too late, but he still tore the steering wheel round right in time so that the car could easily turn the corner. He stopped with screeching tires in front of the McNamara house and jumped out of the car. He took the remaining distance up to the entrance door with running steps and then stopped breathing heavily in front of the door. He knocked on it energetically.

"Christian? What are you doing here?" Sean asked uneasily when he opened the door.

"Where is she?" Without explaining the question at all, Christian pushed Sean to the side and made himself way to get inside.

"Who?" Sean looked at Christian confused. He noticed how jumpy his friend was.

"Kimber!" Christian spit her name out to be precise while he crossed the house with fast steps and searched every corner.

"Wait a minute!" Sean tried to put a stop to Christian's futile wonderings, "before you start to take the house to pieces-she's not here!" He said, "and hold your horses a bit!"

"I know she's here," Christian persisted stubbornly, "you only want to protect her."

"Protecting why?" Sean looked at him confused, "I do not have any idea what you're talking about."

Christian stopped his back and forwards running about and drove his fingers through his hair breathing heavily, "about the fact that I'll kill her!" He explained. 

Sean looked at him alarmed, "okay, I do not know, what has happened between you two again and I actually do not want to either at all, but you will commit no murder here!" He said energetically, "sit yourself down now and could you try to calm down again! Do you want something to drink?"

Christian hesitated for a moment, but then he finally sat down on the sofa, "yes, a double whisky if you could."

Sean shook his head, "would a beer do too for starters?"

"Yes, just give me whatever you have," Christian said harshly, "main thing it has enough alcohol in it to soothe the soul."

Sean went to the refrigerator and took two bottles of beer out handing one of them to Christian in silence. He regarded his friend worried. The last time he saw him in this state was when he thought Kimber had left him, "as I said, your arguments are actually not my business at all, but I don't wanna be responsible for a murder happening here," he said with a sarcastic undertone in his voice.

Christian took a powerful gulp from his bottle and then set it down sharply on the table in the living room, "no worries, Kimber's already taken care of that!" He said cynically.

Sean thought he wasn't hearing well, "what did Kimber do?" He asked confused.

Christian took the beer bottle up into his hand and took another gulp from it, "she went to this abortion clinic and got rid of our child!" He said then after a slight hesitation.

Sean sat there awestruck and stared at Christian with his eyes wide, "Kimber's...was pregnant?" He asked incredulously.

Christian nodded. His rage had gradually started to go up in smoke. In place of it stepped a feeling of the emptiness and helplessness, "as a physician I should have recognized the symptoms... the constant tiredness, the moods, the tear outbreaks..." His voice failed him, "perhaps I could still have saved the baby if I had recognized them..." 

Sean put his encouraging hand on Christian's shoulder, "do not blame yourself for what happened," he said calmly, "and in actual fact who says she really had an abortion?"

Christian lifted his head. Tears were glittering in his eyes, "because I've called the clinic and they told me she had an appointment there," he said quietly.

Sean took a deep breath. He suddenly remembered that feeling of helplessness and despair he felt when Julia went to this abortion clinic. He still thought it was a miracle she decided to have the baby after all.

He cleared his throat, "only because she had an appointment there it doesn mean she let the procedure be carried out," he said hesitantly.

Christian looked at him scrunching his forehead, "what do you wanna say with that?"

Sean took a mouthful from his beer bottle and then looked at Christian long and ponderingly, "I'll tell you something I never told anyone before..." He hesitated a bit before continuing, "when Julia had found out last Christmas she was expecting again, she decided against the child at first. I drove her to the abortion clinic back then because I didn't want her having to go through all that by herself. I knew it was my child but I accepted her decision, " he took a deep breath, "at least till we got there and I saw her going into the consultations room. I was begging for a miracle and my cries were heard."

Christian listened to Sean's clarification silently. He looked at him touched, "that...I didn't know," he said hardly audibly.

Sean nodded, "nobody knew about that so far. Only Julia and me. We did not want the children to know or you and Kimber. We did not want to weigh you down with our problems," he looked straight at Christian. "no matter what or how you think of Kimber at the moment-I for one I'm sure-she'd never go thru with it! I do not believe she would get rid of the child you made together. She loves you. She would never do anything that could harm you or your relationship," Sean shook his head, "I think, it was a gut reaction. It's the case with many women that they feel like mince and are anxious at first when they find out they are pregnant," Sean told him to consider, "the fear of the responsibility, the concern whether they are ready for it, the physical changes. These doubts are completely normal."

"I hope you're right," Christian said sighing.

"I don't misjudge things often," Sean answered smiling, "and now you should drive home and wait for Kimber there."

Christian stood up and took a deep breath, "thanks for listening and...giving me some courage," he said with a forced smile.

Sean patted him on the shoulder, "what are friends for. Oh yes..." It occurred to him  
suddenly, "you should perhaps maybe call Natasha anyway and say to her that you cannot operate on her."

"Why?" Christian lifted his eyebrows surprised, "didn't you say yourself that I should separate vocational from private life?"

Sean nodded, "in principle it is so," he scratched himself on the head, "however I think that you and Kimber have enough problems without Natasha interfering, don't you think?"

Christian pulled his face into a grin, "you're right as always," he went to the door, "we'll see each other tomorrow at practice then," he said before he left the McNamara house.


	23. Chapter 23

"So where are we going?" Sarah was looking out the window curiously while Kimber tried to concentrate on the traffic.

"To some friends of mine," she answered curtly, "look, you can't stay alone at home," she explained patiently, "and I can't just stay at your house either. That is why I thought it would be the best if you stayed at my friends' for a couple of days till your mom gets better."

"What had the doctor say, what's wrong with her?" Sarah repeated the question. 

Kimber felt her stomach tightening again. She was not ready to tell Sarah the truth about her mother. And it wasn't her place either, it was Gail's, "he told me your mother needs a lot of rest. She had been run down lately and that is why she has to stay in hospital for a couple of days," Kimber lied.

"I did notice she was always tired in the last while," Sarah nodded. 

Kimber pressed her lips together. She was innerly angry at Gail that she didn't tell her children about her illness in time. At least she had known exactly about the state of her mother early enough to be able to prepare herself for her death. Sarah, Max and Christian as well, they would only be faced with the what was done already.

"Tell me about your friends," Sarah tried to kick start the conversation.

Kimber was relieved because of the change of subject. She couldn't stand to oppose to Sarah's cross examination any longer, "Sean McNamara's managing the plastic surgery practice McNamara/Troy together with Christian. But you already know that. And you've already met Julia, his wife, at the wedding salon. They have also got children by the way, a 9 year old daughter and an adult son. Julia's due with her third child in October."

"That's great!" Sarah smiled. She regarded Kimber curiously from the side, "what would you like to have, a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know..." The question came as surprising for Kimber because she became faced with the fact that she would really become a mother of a little girl or a boy for the first time soon.

"And what does Christian want?" Kimber had so often mentioned the name of her fiancé that it meanwhile became natural for Sarah to call him by first name as well.

Kimber twitched. In this whole situation filled with stress and agitation she had completely forgotten that she did not tell Christian anything at all about the baby yet.

And probably it will have to wait for another while now because Gail's condition was critical. Perhaps she would not live for long and Kimber thought it was her obligation to inform Christian about the state of health of his mother before it was too late. She still had no idea at all how she should play that.

"I still didn't have the chance to tell him about it yet," Kimber admitted sighing. She turned the corner and drove up on the slope to the McNamara house, "here we are", she said and stopped directly in front of the door.

Sarah stepped out hesitating, "and it really doesn't bother the McNamaras if I stay overnight at their place?" She asked uncertainly.

Kimber shook her head. Deep inside she hoped that Julia and Sean will indeed not have any objections against another guest in the house. Without their help she was left completely stranded. And she couldn't have Sarah around when she spoke to Christian about Gail. She knocked on the door shyly.

She saw Julia's surprised face through the glass plate of the house door.

"I know that's already too late and that I should've called ahead, but unfortunately I had no time left for that," Kimber said with a sheepish smile. She pointed to the young girl, "you still remember Sarah, don't you?"

Julia nodded absent-mindedly. If Kimber was turning up there with Christian's sister, then she was not doing it without a solid reason, "come on in!" She invited both of them.

"Is Sean here too?" Kimber enquired.

"No," Julia shook her head, "he went out earlier. I don't actually know where to. I was at my keep-fit classes from six to seven. And when I came back there was a message for me from him on the table that he had went out again," she explained.

Kimber inhaled deeply before coming up with her query, "would it be possible for Sarah to stay here with you for one or two nights?"

Julia saw the pleading look in Kimber's eyes and understood that the young woman would not ask if there would've been another solution she knew of, "of course," she nodded.

"My mom's in hospital," Sarah gave the explanation.

Julia cast a shocked look at Kimber, "what's wrong with her?"

Kimber shook her head a little to make Julia understand with the gesture that she shouldn't ask more.

"But it doesn't matter," Julia said hastily, "Kimber's friends are certainly always welcome here," she forced a smile.

"Thanks, that's very kind of you," Sarah said and cast a glance at Julia's baby bump, "Kimber told me you're expecting as well," she prattled on, "it's quite convenient, your babies could play together then."

Kimber felt the blood in her cheeks all of a sudden when she noticed Julia's speechless expression. She quickly closed her eyes. Sarah had the talent to always put her into the most impossible situations.

"Well well, then I can leave you confidently in Julia's care," she said promptly to make sure Julia didn't have the chance to ask difficult questions about the pregnancy in front of Sarah. She stroke the young girl once again slightly over the cheek as a good bye, "in that case I'll come back tomorrow so that we can go to visit your mother in the hospital together," she promised her. She turned away and wanted to go straight to the door to leave when Julia stopped her.

"Wait Kimber!"

She turned back to Julia uncertainly. She knew what she was gonna ask her even before Julia uttered a word.

"Did I understand the meaning of the previously said things right...are you pregnant?" She asked with a surprised expression.

Kimber nodded timidly.

A smile flashed over Julia's face, "congratulations! Christian must be over the moon, isn't he?" 

"It's a bit more complicated than you think," Kimber said diffidently as she noticed Sarah was watching them curiously.

"Complicated?" Julia looked at her confused, "what do you mean by that?"

"Listen Julia. I'll explain everything later. I can not talk here now," she whispered, "about Sarah...I'm sorry I had to pull you into the thing as well, but I did not know myself what else to do." 

"I know that by now," Julia said understanding, "why's Gail in the hospital?"

"Not now!" Kimber said and cast a glance at Sarah, "I can not explain that here and now," she inhaled deeply and then breathed out slowly, "the hardest bit is still ahead of me. I definitely have to talk to Christian. It's time he and his mother became acquaintaned with each other again."

Julia looked at Kimber confused, but held herself back from asking further questions, " I'll take good care of Sarah," she promised her.

Kimber hesitated for a moment before briefly hugging Julia and then left the house.


	24. Chapter 24

Kimber opened the door of the apartment with her heart racing and then she stopped and listened. She hoped Christian wasn't there, that he maybe drove to the fitness studio straight after work. She wasn't in the mood for his scrutinising looks and questions, where was she then if she came back home so late. Kimber put her bag down and went into the bedroom. To validate the silence, he really wasn't there. Even if Kimber could tell from the curtains in bedroom and living room being pulled that he must have been there. Sighing she slipped out of her sandals and went then barefoot over into the living room. The area was enveloped in complete darkness. Kimber went toward one of the red armchairs that stood in front of the window when a voice was to be heard from it.

"Where were you?"

"Christian!" She said shocked, "why are you sitting here in the darkness?" Her hand went up to the light switch almost automatically.

"Leave the lights off!" He said.

Kimber pulled her hand back. She blinked to be able to see more in the darkness that surrounded then, "what...what's wrong?" She asked distressed.

Complete silence ruled for a moment. You could have heard a pin dropping to the floor.

"Tell me you didn't do it!" Christian's voice ended the silence, "I need to hear from your mouth that you didn't get rid of our child!" 

Kimber felt like a cold shower has hit her back and started to shake, "w...what?" She stammered.

"Did you do it?" He repeated the question with a bit more sharper voice. 

Kimber stood there like a statue. Questions and thoughts were whirling in her head. She had no idea how Christian knew that she was intending to have an abortion or how he knew that she was pregnant at all. Her bottom lip started to quiver, "no..." She finally managed to say through her tears, "I...I just couldn't do it."

The nervous tension gave way to relief, "thank God..." He said vacuously.

"How do you know?" Kimber asked quietly while she went slowly toward Christian.

Instead of an answer she only heard his suffocated sob and her heart stiffened. If she could not stand something, then it was to see Christian so weak, "please...don't!" She had reached the armchair in which he sat sunk down and knelt down in front of it. She pulled his head down towards herself and began to kiss away his tears gently, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." She repeated it like this again and again. Their tears mixed together and she put her arms around his neck when she noticed that he responded to her kisses.

Christian took Kimber up in his arms and over to the bed where he put her down carefully. He lay down next to her and started to undress her slowly. It wasn't about sexual satisfaction this time. He wanted to feel her and touch her with all his senses instead. He pulled his shirt over his head with a swift motion, then he lowered his head and started to kiss her gently.

Kimber felt her pulse doubling when he began to stroke her. She felt the heat coming from his hands and the passion bubbling out from him. His touch was soft and tender at the same time as he investigated every curve of her body with his hands and lips. Kimber held her breath when he put his hand on her belly. They looked at each other full of love and devotion before their lips met again and their bodies merged together.

------------------------------------------------------------

_McNamara House _

While Sarah was hungrily gobbling down the dinner that Julia had prepared, Sean was regarding her thoughtfully. He had been surprised when he had found her in the house after he had arrived back home. But Julia had quickly clarified to him why Sarah was in the house.

"You probably didn't eat anything for a long time?" He noticed smiling.

Sarah shook her head, "this morning the last time. Things kept happening so that I had no time left to eat."

Julia smiled, "did Kimber tell you we also have a daughter? Annie will be ten years old in two months time, but she behaves like a small adult already." 

Sarah nodded, "yes, Kimber had told me," she lifted her eyebrows, "where is she then?"

"She's staying with a friend overnight just now," Sean explained, "they do it once every few weeks and we all take turns. But you'd probably know that from when you were younger."

"No," Sarah shook her head sadly, "I haven't had many friends so far. My Mom is very strict when it comes to other people, "she sighed, "Max has it better that way. He had made many friends since he started his studies at the uni. And they do so much together."

"Did you figure out yet what you wanna be?" Julia asked. It broke her heart to see Sarah so unhappy. 

A smile flashed over Sarah's face, "yes, model...or maybe an actress," her face became overshadowed immediately again when she continued, "however my Mom forbade it. She allows me to wear no mini skirts or shoes with high heels. She always says that would only make men have the wrong thoughts," Sarah rolled her eyes, "she treats me like a baby! But I know exactly..." She paused briefly and lowered her eyes. "...well, enough of these particular things. Even if I had no boyfriend so far," she quickly added.

Julia cast a knowing look at Sean. Gail definitely seemed to try to prevent her daughter from sharing the same fate as her. She cleared her throat, "do you know what's wrong with your mother?"

"No," Sarah cut herself another slice of bread and spread some butter on it, "and Kimber doesn't wanna tell me either," she said disappointed.

Julia lifted her eyebrows. She asked herself why Kimber made such a secret of Gail's state of health. And what did she mean when she said that Christian and his mother should get acquaintaned with each other again? Why this hurry all of a sudden?

"Could you pass the sausage plate over please," Sean interrupted her thoughts.

Julia nodded absently and handed him the plate over the table.

"I have a suggestion. We go over to your house tomorrow morning and you get a few things for yourself, okay?" Sean suggested.

Sarah nodded.

"When's your brother coming back then?" Julia enquired curiously.

Sarah shrugged, "no idea. He's on term holidays at the moment. He went surfing with a couple of his friends," she rolled her eyes, "that can last. If Max sees water he's flipping out completely."

Sean smiled at Sarah's expression, "you cannot reach him by phone either?" 

"He's got a cell if that's what you mean. He wanted to check in occasionally on the way. But he didn't do that yet," Sarah explained sighing.

"I only thought maybe he should know about your mother being in hospital," Sean recommend. 

Julia rose, "if you're finished with your meal I'll show you where you can sleep," she said to Sarah.

"Cool!" Sarah pushed her plate away and rose, "it is really terribly nice from you that I can stay with you."

"You can stay as long as necessary," Julia said smiling.

Sean contemplatively watched the two leaving the room.


	25. Chapter 25

Kimber laid in Christian's arms and stared into the darkness not managing to get to sleep. Contrary to her, he had fallen asleep right after their passionate love making. There was too much going on in her head. The baby has only been the first challenge. It would be much harder to talk to him about Sarah and Gail. And it seemed to her almost impossible to let him know that the wedding couldn't take place at the weekend as planned. Kimber looked at the clock. It was two o'clock in the morning and Christian's alarm clock will go off in four hours. He'll have a shower, get dressed, have breakfast and then he would leave the apartment and come back late afternoon the earliest. Another full day would go by without her informing him about Gail's state of health. Time she didn't have since she didn't know how long Gail had left to live. She couldn't let him sleep now. She had to finish what she had started and she didn't know how it will all play out. She touched the light switch of her night stand lamp determined and a light streak fell on his face, "Christian?" She whispered quietly, "are you asleep?"

A pointless question as she could see from his regular breathing that he was deep asleep. She started to shake him by the shoulder lightly as he didn't react to her calling, "Christian, wake up!" 

He mumbled something unintelligible and then finally opened his eyes, "what is it?" He asked drowsily.

"We have to talk!" She said the words quickly because she was afraid he would interrupt her.

"Oh, no, not again!" Christian reluctantly sat up to cast a glance at the clock and then sunk back moaning, "it's two o'clock in the morning Kimber," he sighed, "not really a good time to have a discussion."

Kimber sat up straight in the bed, "there's never a good time!" She said heatedly, "if you would've had some more time for me only once in the last few weeks, then all this would've not happened. But you...you preferred to spend your time with this...bitch instead..." Kimber's voice was shaking from the suppressed anger. But as soon as she completed the sentence she was already regretting her outcry. She didn't wanna start about Natasha. She wanted to talk to him about Gail. But apparently jealousy was bubbling much more fervently in her than she would've wanted to admit to herself.

He became abruptly all awake and also sat up, "what the hell are you talking about anyway?" He demanded to know.

Kimber avoided his eyes and started to nervously bite her bottom lip. Not only she had woken him up from his sleep in the middle of the night, she had now also changed the subject that was even more unpleasant for her to talk about than the conversation about Gail. But it was too late now, "Natasha phoned," she started to recount hesitantly, "she wanted to call off your agreement..." Kimber stopped and turned her head to the side because she felt her tears filling her eyes, "I knew something was up," it gurgled out of her, "the lots of overtime, your excuses you had no time to take care of the wedding preparations...if you don't wanna marry me why didn't you just say so?"

Christian sat there and started at her all flabbergasted, "nothing's going on between me and Natasha!" He finally said, "how could you think that?" He said shaking his head, "she's a patient that's all. She came to the practice because she was disfigured when she suffered a car accident. And she asked me to do her face," he sighed, "the thing between me and Natasha is long over. You have to believe me!" He suddenly had an idea, "was this the reason you wanted to get rid of the baby?" He asked quietly.

Kimber shook her head silently. Her tears dribbled down onto her nighties and made them wet.

"Look at me!" Christian gently pulled her chin towards himself, "what were you afraid of?"

"I imagined how my life would be with the baby," she said uncertainly, "I never really wanted to be a mother you understand? I don't actually know what it means to be a good mother. I was only a child when my mother died..." Kimber stopped and cleaned her eyes with her hand.

"What happened to you back then?" Christian asked patiently.

Kimber hesitated for a moment. Maybe the timing wasn't neccessarily ideal, but she really had the desire to tell him more about her past for the first time since she met him. And maybe she could also build a bridge to having the possibility of talking about Gail after that, "I was about eleven when my mother fell ill with lung cancer," she stared to explain at a snail's pace, "the doctors were optimistic at the beginning that she would make it after all. But her breathing became difficult, she got weaker and weaker..." Kimber got stuck and cleared a tear away from her face.

"And what else had happened?" Christian asked sympathetically.

"The next few months she mainly spent at some hospital. I've been alone with my dad for most of that time. I didn't know for a while what was wrong with her, but finally when it was to be seen that she would die, she took me to the side and told me everything about her horrible disease. She died three days after my twelfth birthday," Kimber said expressionlessly, "me and my dad, we were there with her when it happened. He didn't talk much about her death after that, but he cried a lot. And I was standing helplessly next to him and I didn't know how I could help him."

"I'm very sorry about that..." Christian was visibly moved, "and what was after that?"

Kimber stared at the ceiling, "he left me too," she said detached, "a work colleague found him dead one day in his office. He had bought himself a gun and sent a bullet into his brain. The police later said that he must've died on the spot."

Christian saw the pain and the grief in her eyes and felt his heart breaking for her. Possibly for the first time in his life he had no idea what he should do or say. He pulled Kimber into his arms mutely and wrapped her head around pressing it to the curve in the middle of his neck.

"They took me to a home because I was too young to be left alone at twelve and there was nobody who would take me in either. Neither my mom or dad had siblings. I stayed there till I was seventeen and then I tried to establish a living for myself. I was lucky I wasn't exactly ugly. So I became a model. I worked for a hostess service for a while. The men I went out with were more than generous. But they were also expecting corresponding services for theirs..." She stopped.

"Did you...sleep with them?" Christian had to make a great effort to be able to ask. He pushed her a bit away to be able to look at her. 

"With some of them yes..." Kimber admitted hesitantly, "but I've never worked as a prostitute," she said quickly, "I always hoped back then that there will be someone one day who would present me with a ring and take me away from that sinkhole I lived in," she pulled her face into a smile, "you know, like in the movie "Pretty Woman". 

"You've found him," Christian noted dryly.

Kimber shook her head, "it was all different for me with you from the very beginning."

"We slept together right away when we first met and I gave you some money for the cab after that. Why do you say it was all different with me?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead.

"Because I fell in love with you," Kimber gave the answer, "I tried to fight this feeling at first because I knew you didn't love me. But I gave the battle up quite quickly," she sat up uncertainly and took his face into her hands, "I love you Christian and nothing and nobody would be able to change that!" She underlined her words with kissing him passionately.

He returned her kisses and pushed her a little away from himself after that to look at her, "why did you tell me all this?" He asked and looked at her scrunching his forehead, "we know each other for three years now and you haven't spoken about your family once. Why now?"

Kimber closed her eyes. It was truly a good time to tell him about Gail, but she suddenly lost all her courage. She had to find another way, a smoother one to let him know about his mother's illness. She considered feverishly how she should wrap everything up without arousing Christian's suspicion, "maybe because we'll become a family soon and I simply want no more doubts and lies between us."

Christian looked at her surprised, "you doubted my love for you?"

Kimber nodded uncertainly, "but now it's okay," she forced a smile and let herself back down onto the pillows, "let's sleep on," she said. She demonstratively pulled the covers up to her chin.

"You wanna sleep now?" He asked confused, "we're in the middle of a conversation here!"

"I'm tired and you should also sleep a couple more hours before you have to get up again," she made him consider.

Christian let himself fall back sighing and stared at the ceiling. He would probably never understand women. How could she sleep now when he was still all worked up? Kimber's past, Natasha, the baby-they preoccupied him further and didn't give him peace. He guessed instinctively that Kimber haven't told him everything yet. Her abrupt ending of the conversation suggested that, but he had no idea what other secrets she was keeping from him. Christian looked at the clock and moaned quietly. The alarm will go off in two hours. Falling asleep now would be senseless. He looked at Kimber who apparently had fallen asleep. He stood up shaking his head and walked out to have a shower.


	26. Chapter 26

When Gail came to she first became aware of the strong smell of the disinfectant. She knew she was in hospital even before opening her eyes. The memory of what has happened crowded her consciousness. She was with Sarah when she suddenly got all dizzy and she had apparently lost touch with reality after that. How much time did pass since then and where was Sarah? Gail noticed the tube in her nose and saw another tube leading to her arm. Was this the end? Would she be chained to tubes now having to spend her last days at the hospital? Tears appeared in her eyes. She thought of Max who was having fun with his friends many hundred miles away from her right now and had no idea that his mother was in bed dying. The same as Sarah. Max was the one who was a grown person, but what would become of Sarah? Gail began to cry quietly and closed her eyes broken-hearted.

"Mrs. Pollock?"

Gail opened her eyes startled. She did not notice that someone had entered the room. She had been too busy with her own thoughts.

"I am Dr. Jeffries. Perhaps you remember me. I was your attending physician when you were with us for the first time six month ago."

Gail blinked and then nodded slightly, "yes, I...I remember you," she struggled to say. She wet her dry lips, "how long...have I been here for?"

"Almost twenty-four hours," Dr. Jeffries explained, "you had suffered toxic shock. Your toxicity level was alarmingly high. Your collapse was a direct consequence of the overdose," he cleared his throat and looked at her disapprovingly, "overdosing with pain medication is particularly dangerous. The side effects can be fatal, with the possible respiratory failure."

"But the drugs didn't have the same effect anymore..." Gail said sluggishly.

"They didn't work properly because you didn't take them regularly," Dr. Jeffries explained patiently, "you only took them when in a lot of pain. So the hurting could be eased for a short while, but its blood levels dropped again afterwards and the pain returned and intensified," he adjusted his eyeglasses on his nose and regarded Gail, "as usual-we will perform some tests now and then start with a chemotherapy by iv. When you get home later we can change to pills, but now we must keep you here for a week first." 

Gail shook her head determined, "I can not stay here!" She said, "my daughter needs me."

"Your daughter's in good hands," Dr. Jeffries cut into her words, "she stays with your son and daughter- in- law for the time of your hospitalisation."

Gail needed a while to understand the meaning of those words. She then regarded the physician gob smacked, "my...daughter-in-law?" She muttered.

"Yes, Kimber Henry," Dr. Jeffries nodded, "she was here and took your daughter with her," he cleared his throat, "she gave us consent for the chemotherapy."

Gail lay there like a statue and stared at the doctor horrified. If Kimber knew about her situation, then Christian would soon find out as well, "oh my God..." Gail put her hands in front of her face and stood in that position for a while.

"Everything all right?" Dr. Jeffries asked concerned.

Gail took her hands hesitantly away from her face and took a deep breath," could I speak to her? Is she here?"

Dr. Jeffries shook her head, "but she told me she'll come back today."

"I'll be a grandmother soon, do you know that?" Gail didn't know why she told Dr. Jeffries that, but the baby was the last thing she thought about before she lost consciousness. And now when she woke up she was engulfed by a feeling of happiness when she thought about the fact that a piece of her will survive through this baby.

"That's nice," Dr. Jeffries smiled, "something that is worth living for."

A faint smile appeared on Gail's face too, "yes, it is," she said quietly.

"So you agree with starting chemotherapy?" Dr. Jeffries made sure.

Gail nodded after some hesitation. Maybe it was destiny she met Kimber. Perhaps it wasn't time for her to die yet and she had another thing left to do in her life. Gail had never been a real believer. She had to endure too much suffering and at some point she had fully turned her back to the church. But she had always believed that nothing happened without purpose in life.

"All right," Dr. Jeffries nodded, "I'm happy you decided on the therapy," he looked at her with a honest expression, "I can not guarantee you survive but at least we can stop the cancer spreading just now. I'll come back later and explain to you about all the effects and side effects."

Gail nodded. With the comforting feeling that possibly everything will turn out well after all she leaned back and closed her eyes.

-------------------------------------------

_McNamara/Troy_

When Christian stepped into his office all tired out he determined surprised that he had a visitor, "what are you doing here?" He asked irritably.

"I couldn't reach you by phone so I came back again," Natasha explained curtly.

Christian took place behind his desk and frowned, "how you dare to turn up here at all!" he said perturbed.

"Why not?" She asked confused.

"What did you say to Kimber on the phone?" He erupted.

Natasha got stuck for one moment. She could not remember saying anything to his fiancée that would've justified Christian's aggressive behavior towards her, "nothing special," she shrugged, "I spoke onto the answer machine and she suddenly picked the phone up. She wanted to know why I had made an appointment with you. And I gave her the answer that's only between you and me. There was nothing else." 

Christian leaned back on his chair sighing, "she actually thought we had a date."

"Really?" Natasha laughed quietly, "maybe I should be flattered she thinks I can seduce you the deformed I am."

"She's a bit overwhelmed and hypersensitive at the moment," Christian explained sighing.

"Because of the wedding?" Natasha asked scrunching her forehead.

Christian shook his head, "no, because of her pregnancy."

Natasha raised her eyebrows surprised, "you'll be a father? Wow, you really do keep everything a secret," she pulled her lips into a smile, "well then, congratulations!"

"Thanks," Christian smiled, "you surely understand I can't operate on you under these circumstances."

"No, I don't understand that," Natasha shook her head, "I came to you because you're the best and not because I wanna have a relationship with you again. If your to be bride is jealous because of every patient you have, well then-good night! Then you should probably seriously think about changing jobs," she said ironically.

"Not every patient I have," Christian held, "only the ones I had a relationship with before."

"And the list's without a doubt long..." Natasha noted dryly. Creases appeared on her forehead, "that's unprofessional Christian and you know that!" She said, "that is refusal of service!"

"Sean will operate you. I already spoke with him. He would be instantly all set."

"What are you afraid of? That you'll be weak again?" She asked provokingly. She leaned over the desk and looked at him with her blind eyes, "do I still have so much power over you?" She asked calmly.

Christian took a deep breath, "you never had power over me," he said evenly, "no woman had so far."

Natasha leaned back and pulled her face into a grin, "not true, but you're too blind to notice," she stood up and assembled her stick, "good bye Christian! McNamara/Troy's not the only plastic surgery in Miami. I'll find someone who'd operate me."

Christian leaned back in his office chair and let out a sigh of relief. Natasha was gone and finally him and Kimber could get ready for the imminent wedding at the weekend in peace.


	27. Chapter 27

Sean turned off the main street and drove along a long alley with palm trees on the side as Sarah suddenly pointed to a house in bungalow style, "here it is!"

Sean stopped right in front of the veranda and let Sarah out, "I'll wait for you in the car," he explained.

Sarah shook her head vigorously, "you don't have to wait in the car. You can make yourself comfortable in the living room while I pack a few things."

Sean hesitated for a moment, "all right," he agreed, "I'll wait in the house for a while then," he followed Sarah through the porch to the entrance.

"Have a seat please," Sarah said hospitably after they stepped into the living room, "I'll hurry up with the packing," she smiled at him once more and disappeared in one of the rooms.

Sean let his eyes wander around the room. The furniture was stinted, but tasteful. There were paintings of different artists on the wall and there were framed photos of the family members standing neatly close to each other on the mantelpieces. Sean stood up and went over to the fireplace. One of the photographs particularly awakened his interest. It showed Christian's mother when she was still a child. She wore a flowery dress and smiled into the camera. Sean noticed the amazing resemblance with Christian. They had the same smile and the same eyes. Apparently the snap was made before she was attacked, it went through Sean's head. On the other snapshots on which she was with her children you could see the deep wrinkles on her face. Age had unquestionably marked Gail.

Sean looked at the clock sighing. Sarah seemed to be packing longer at any rate than he had first thought. He decided to look around the house a little to help pass the time. He saw the door of Gail's bedroom being open and he wandered in. He noted with surprise that this room was also full with pictures of the family. He wanted to leave the room immediately when the open drawer of the night stand caught his attention. He stepped to it to shut it when he suddenly froze. He saw half a dozen packets of pills partially opened and their contents was lying wildly dispensed at the bottom of the drawer.

Sean hesitantly took one of the packs into his hands and read the description. The medicine was a high-dose analgetic that was used by people suffering from different kinds of cancers and HIV infections. Sean held his breath. Whatever illness Gail had it was more than just a harmless migraine. Sarah had told him while they were driving there that her mother suffered from headaches more and more frequently. But these pills contained a much more higher doze than the usual pain killers you could get over the counter. Not even the pain killers they gave to their patients after the operations were as strong as this one. 

Sean suppressed a sigh. He understood now why Kimber had made such a secret out of Gail's state of health. Was she in hospital to die? Was that why Kimber wanted to have a talk with Christian? Sean put the packet of medication back into the drawer and closed it shut. Almost a second too late. It was a close run thing.

"Dr. McNamara?" Sarah was suddenly standing in the doorframe and looked at him strangely, "I just wanted to say that I'm ready." 

Sean cleared his throat, "then let's get going," he said quietly.

On the way out he wondered what Kimber knew about Gail's illness. He decided to ask her as soon as an opportunity rose. He stepped into the car sighing and turned the ignition. 

-----------------------

_At the McNamara house_

Julia opened the door and let Kimber in, "you're a bit early," she enlightened her and pointed to the clock, "Sean went out earlier with Sarah so she can bring a few things over from home," she scrutinised Kimber. She immediately noticed how pale she was, "you look like a walking corpse," she established scrunching her eyebrows.

Kimber smiled slightly, "perhaps it is because of the fact that this morning I already embraced the toilet," she put a hand on her stomach, "when I woke up this morning I was feeling so dizzy and nauseous," she sighed, "I'm still quite queasy although there could actually be nothing else left in my stomach."

Julia nodded knowingly, "I've had that for four months' time till it finally eased off," she smiled, "you'll get used to it. What does your physician say?"

"I haven't been to the doctor yet. I only found out about the pregnancy a couple of days ago," Kimber explained.

"You should make an appointment as soon as possible. The sooner you know everything's all right the better," Julia stood and took a piece of paper to write down an address," here, this is the address of my obstetrician," Julia handed Kimber the strip of paper, "she also does antenatal diagnosis for the early detection of illnesses."

"You think there's something wrong with my baby?" Kimber asked shocked.

"These are purely precautionary measures," Julia tried to calm her down, "you are ten years younger than me. I do not think that it is necessary to test the amniotic fluid."

"What is an amniotic fluid test?" Kimber asked and regarded Julia curiously.

"Not a very pleasant procedure," Julia answered with a serious face, "a thin needle is inserted into the womb through the abdominal wall and then some amniotic fluid is taken out."

Kimber pressed her hand onto her mouth because she suddenly had the feeling her stomach would turn, "that is... terrible!" She said.

"You don't feel much. You get a local anaesthetic. But don't worry. You surely don't need that done," she suddenly changed the subject, "we had no time to talk yesterday...so what's it with Gail? Why's she in hospital?"

Kimber took a deep breath. She wanted to start to tell Julia everything when the front door opened and Sean and Sarah stepped into the house.

"So you're here already!" Sarah hollered surprised as she saw Kimber. 

"Yes, but I didn't arrive long ago," Kimber tried to ignore the feeling in her stomach and forced a smile, "are you ready?" She turned to Sarah, "can we go then?" 

Sarah nodded.

Julia looked at Kimber doubtfully, "are you sure you're able to drive? You look like you could topple over any minute."

Kimber closed her eyes. She couldn't quite admit in front of Sean and Julia that she felt that way too. Therefore she did not say anything. She had promised Sarah that she would take her to her mother. And she would not disappoint the young girl no matter what.

"I'll drive you," Sean offered. 

"Don't you have to go to the practice?" Kimber asked surprised.

Sean nodded, "but only later on. The first operation is not before eleven a clock. I have some time till then."

"And how do we come back then?" Kimber asked sceptically.

"You could take a cab," he suggested. He scrutinised her, "you really don't look all that good," he established, "you shouldn't drive like that." 

Julia nodded in agreement, "listen to the advice of a doctor," her lips curved into a smile, "he hardly let me drive in the first few months either."

"Well okay," Kimber inhaled deeply, "I only hope this situation won't last. I'll be broke if I'll have to get a cab each time I don't feel well." 

Sean suppressed a grin, "may I insist?" He opened the door for Sarah and Kimber the door and left the house behind them.


	28. Chapter 28

Kimber followed Sarah on the hospital corridors on wobbly knees. It wasn't just morning sickness, but she also feared meeting Gail. She'd been behaving very coldly towards her at the wedding salon. Perhaps it had also been so because of the bolt from the blue seeing her again that had paralysed her or it could've been the fact that she was friends with Sarah. However - if she simply marched into her sick-room, Gail would be surely not be so pleased about it.

"Go in to see your mom alone," Kimber said apprehensively when they were standing in front of Gail's hospital room.

"Why that?" Sarah asked scrunching her forehead, "mom would certainly be happy to see you again."

Kimber shook her head. She was quite sure the opposite would be the case.

"Please!" Sarah looked at her pleadingly, "I don't wanna go alone!" 

Kimber sighed deeply, "well all right," she pressed the handle down carefully and then she stepped in. She was relieved to see Gail apparently still sleeping, "sit next to her on the bed," she whispered to Sarah, "I'll see if I can find the doctor again," Kimber wanted to leave the room when she heard a voice coming from the bed.

"Please stay!"

Kimber froze mid movement. She slowly turned round towards the bed.

Gail sat up, "Sarah, darling could you leave me alone with Miss Henry for a moment?" Gail told her daughter and looked at her pleadingly.

A smile flashed over Sarah's face, "sure," she gave her mother a kiss onto her cheek and then left the room.

Kimber stood by Gail's bed irresolutely, looking away. She was fighting with her nausea that she still felt.

"Please sit down," Gail offered the chair next to her bed to Kimber, "we should talk."

Kimber nodded as a reflex action. She took her place on the vacant chair in silence and put her hands in her lap.

For a moment the women regarded each other without a sound.

"Dr. Jeffries told me you took Sarah with you," Gail opened discussions.

Kimber nodded, "she asked for my help. What else could have I done?"

"I'd like to thank you," Gail said sincerely and smiled, "I do not know what I would have done without your help."

Kimber hung her head. She did not know why she was so anxious when with Gail. But she just felt uneasy when she was looking at her, "you are not...angry with me?" She asked quietly.

Gail shook her head, "I had a lot of time to think over the last few hours here in the hospital," she started diffidently, "I made a lot of mistakes and I hope I'll still have some time left to make some things right."

Kimber nodded, "why didn't you tell Sarah and Max about your illness?" She wanted to know.

Gail inhaled deeply and leaned back onto her pillows, "I wanted to offer them an untainted childhood. I wanted to keep them away from all the misery and the grief of the world." She stopped and wiped a tear off her cheek, "along these lines when after the rape I found out I got pregnant, my world fell apart. My parents were frightened, but an abortion was even more out of the question for them than giving up the child for adoption. They isolated me. They were ashamed of me, even if I was the victim. They took me to a home for expecting under age mothers where I then gave birth to my baby," her voice trailed off, "I was 15!" She said in tears, "what was I supposed to do? If I had known what cruel torture my child must suffer at his foster parents I would have never given away my baby by own accord!"

Kimber was shaken by Gail's confession. She felt her tears appearing too, "I believe you," she said touched.

"When I saw Christian again after that long time that had passed since I was in shock," Gail continued, "I suddenly panicked that he would mess up everything I was so carefully building for years. How could I explain my other children that I had another forty year old son who was also a result of a rape?" She shook her head, "I wasn't ready to give it all up," her voice trailed off again.

"Are you ready now?" Kimber asked quietly.

Gail lifted her head and looked at her through her tears, "I will never be able to turn everything around I ever did to him- at that time, that when I gave him away and when he came to me and asked me to be his mother later," she put her hands in front of her face and began to cry quietly.

"When I found out I was pregnant," Kimber started to speak slowly, "my first thought was abortion. But when I then was there, I could not do it. There was something in me that stopped me doing it. A kind of instinct, a feeling that came deeply from my heart. There is this special bond that connects mother and child," she looked into Gail's eyes, "don't let this connection die only because you feel guilty!"

"But he hates me!" Gail said unbelieving, "he would not listen to me once more, even if I ask him to come here down on my knees. And what should I say to him?" Gail shrugged submissively.

Kimber shook her head. She didn't know what Gail could say to him. And she was afraid that she was right. Christian would never come to the hospital voluntarily. The bare mention of her name made him aggressive.

"Sarah's with our friends," Kimber said quickly to change the subject. 

"Who with then?" Gail said surprised.

"Sean McNamara and his wife," Kimber gave the answer, "you met Julia at the wedding salon," she hung her head, "I didn't tell Christian about you yet. Somehow there wasn't a good time."

"It's probably better that way," Gail said quietly.

Kimber saw the pain in her eyes, "I'll talk to him," she said determined, "it's time he finds out how you are. And you should also talk to Sarah and Max. You shouldn't leave them in the dark any longer," Kimber took a deep breath before continuing, "you think Sarah's too young to find out about the suffering in the world, but she has the right to know what's happening to her mother. She's not blind. She noticed the headaches and saw you collapsing with her own eyes. She has fears, questions, she's disconcerted. Questions I cannot answer. But you can. Sometimes the uncertainty is worse than the certainty... " Kimber stopped because she felt her eyes clouding up once more. Memories of her mother came into her thoughts again, "I was twelve when my mother died of lung cancer and my father committed suicide afterwards..." Kimber felt her tears running down now on her cheeks without brakes, "I never forgave him for creeping out my life back then so quietly and secretly," she sobbed, "you shouldn't do that to Sarah and Max either..."

Gail had listened to Kimber shocked, "I'm...so very sorry," she muttered, "you had to endure terrible things in your life."

Overwhelmed by her own emotions Kimber jumped up. She felt a renewed wave of nausea sloshing over her and she got dizzy with it. She closed her eyes when everything began to blur in front of her. Her knees gave way under her and she fell silently to the floor in front of the hospital bed.


	29. Chapter 29

"Okay sweetie I'll take you to school quickly and then I'll hurry to get to the doctor's," Julia explained to her daughter Annie while helping her to pack her school bag, "the next time please think about taking your schoolbag with you when you sleep over at Tori's. I wasn't actually prepared to take you to school today," she said chidingly.

"Sorry," Annie pouted with her lips, "why can't Daddy drive me?"

"Because he's not here," Julia explained patiently, "he had to drive Sarah and Kimber to a hospital and he's going straight to the practice."

"But who's Sarah?" Annie asked inquisitively and tilted her head.

"She's a friend of Kimber," Julia explained, "her mom's in hospital and while she's there, Sarah stays with us."

"But what's wrong with Sarah's mom?" Annie enquired.

Julia let out a sigh. What should she tell Annie? She had no idea herself what was wrong with Gail, "she's pretty exhausted and needs a couple of days rest."

"Aha," Annie said twitching her shoulders.

"You'll have some fun with Sarah for sure. She's really nice," Julia said smiling. She looked up surprised when the front door opened and Sean entered the house.

"Daddy!" Annie ran to her father and hugged him.

"Hello princess!" He stroke he long blonde hair softly while casting eloquent glances to Julia over Annie's head, "I still have something important to talk about with your mom," he said, "could you please wait in the car. Then I'll take you to school in a minute."

Annie nodded, grabbed her school bag and left the house.

"What's up now?" Julia asked irritated as she noticed Sean's serious face, "I thought you wanted to drive to the practice afterwards."

Sean ran his fingers through his hair erratically, "I could not talk to you before. So I came back again."

"Don't be so dramatic! What happened?"

"Did Kimber tell you anything about Gail, why she's in hospital?"

Julia shook her head, "she wanted to, but then you came back," she explained.

"I've found a full drawer of analgesics," Sean started to tell hesitantly, "Sarah told me on the way there that her mother was suffering from frequent headaches, but these meds were several times stronger than your normal pain killers," he paused.

Julia regarded Sean shocked, "do you think that Gail is addicted to drugs?"

Sean shook her head, "no, I think she takes them for some other reason."

"And what's that?" Julia looked at Sean curiously.

"These drugs are used by cancer or HIV patients," he continued quietly. He took a deep breath, "I think Gail suffers from a serious illness."

Julia suddenly had the feeling as if the ground would've been taken away from under her feet. She quickly let herself drop onto a chair, "oh no..." She muttered, "are you sure?"

"I'm not sure," he shook his head, "but it would nevertheless make sense. She's in hospital and Kimber makes this big secret out of it," he rolled his eyes, "not even Sarah knows what's wrong with her own mother." 

"But you're a doctor yourself. Could you not find out what's going on?" Julia asked.

Sean scratched his head pensively, "yes, I think I could. I could contact the attending physician."

"Well then do it!" Julia urged him, "the sooner we know for sure, the better."

"I don't know," Sean said uncertainly, "Christian had warned me he wanted me not to interfere with his life and not at all if it's about Gail."

"And what if she dies and he finds out that you knew about it the whole time?" Julia made him consider, "will your friendship survive that?"

"All right," Sean finally gave in sighing, "I'll talk to the doctor," he looked at the clock, "I have to go now," he gave Julia a kiss as a good bye and touched her rounded belly once again carefully, "till tonight you two," he said smiling before he left the house.

------------------------------

_Cedars Medical Center_

When Kimber came to she established surprised that she was lying on a couch in Dr. Jeffries' consulting room. She wanted to straighten up on instinct when a hand pushed her back gently.

"It is better if you stay that way," Dr. Jeffries said, "I would not like to upset your circulation again."

Kimber nodded, "what am I doing here at all?" She asked taken aback.

"You fell unconscious in Mrs. Pollock's room," the doctor explained, "you must've given her a good fright. She then immediately called for the nurse and they informed me. I brought you here after that."

"Could I...go now?" Kimber asked doubtfully.

Dr. Jeffries shook her head, "no, not before we examined you. I'll transfer you to the gynaecologic department."

"That can't be!" Kimber said scared, "I can not stay here. And I'm fine now," to underline her words she sat up and then let herself sink back immediately thereafter when she got dizzy again.

"Your blood pressure is far too low," Dr. Jeffries said with a concerned expression, "I can certainly not let you go like this."

"And how long do I have to stay for?" Kimber asked sighing.

"That depends on how long does it take for us to stabilise your circulation. Maybe a day or two." 

"I don't understand this," Kimber said quietly, "I always had low blood pressure, but it was never a problem." 

"Don't worry," Dr. Jeffries said, "it happens a lot in early pregnancy that blood pressure drops further. We'll give you an injection to stabilise your circulation and then we'll take you to the ward. We'll make some tests to rule out other causes and we'll make sure everything's all right with the pregnancy."

"Would you do an...amniotic fluid test?" Kimber asked upset.

Dr. Jeffries lifted his eyebrows surprised, "how do you get that idea? No," he then shook his head, "we'll do an ultrasound," he smiled, "I can assure you it doesn't hurt at all."

Kimber nodded sighing, "could I use the phone please?"

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "wait I'll help you," he made it easier for Kimber to sit up and handed her the phone.

She hesitated a moment before dialling, "Julia? Kimber here," she spoke into the receiver, "I need your help now..."


	30. Chapter 30

_The McNamara/Troy Practice_

Sean was about to assist Christian with a breast operation when the door of the operating theatre opened and nurse Linda stuck her head in the door.

"Phone for you, Dr. McNamara!" She said.

Sean didn't even look up from his work, "I'm busy," he said sternly, "whoever it is, they should call later."

"It's your wife," nurse Linda clarified, "she says it'd be urgent."

"Well all right," Sean turned to Christian sighing, "can you manage without me for a moment?"

Christian nodded, "sure, go on. If she asks you to leave in the middle of an operation it really must be important."

"I'll be back soon," Sean promised. He left the operating theatre, took his gear and sterile gloves off in the wash room and then went into his office.

"What is it?" He moaned into the phone then, "but you do know how much I don't like it if somebody disturbs me when operating."

"Kimber's in hospital..."

"I know she's in the hospital," Sean said irritated, "as you know I took her there myself."

"No, you don't understand me..." 

"Then express yourself a bit more comprehensibly," Sean said impatiently.

"Kimber just called. She simply fainted in Gail's room...her circulation. They want to keep her right in to do a few tests."

"Oh no..." Sean grabbed his forehead, "and you expect me to tell Christian, yes?" 

"That too, but I actually called to ask you to pick Sarah up."

"I thought she'll take a cab," Sean said scrunching his forehead.

"You want to let her take a cab by herself? She's all upset. First her mother collapses out of unknown reasons and now Kimber too. I'd get her myself, but I can't get away from here."

"Where are you then?" Sean asked curiously.

"At my obstetrician. I can not even talk for long cause I'm calling on the cell and I'm almost there. So, will you get her?"

"I can't leave here Julia! There are four other operations in the book for today. And they are all procedures I have to do myself. Christian was only gonna assist me." 

"Then send Christian to the hospital and let nurse Linda or Liz assist you."

"I should send Christian?" Sean asked confused.

"Sean, I have to go! I'm next. See you tonight!"

"Julia...wait...!" Sean shouted into the receiver, but she'd already broke the connection.

"Damn!" Sean slammed the receiver down and stood up. The whole thing had developed into a proper nightmare and he asked himself what would happen if Christian, Gail and Sarah met one another at the hospital. He'd rather not imagine that. Sighing he went again to the wash room, put on the operation theatre gear again hastily and pulled the gloves on.

"So what's up?" Christian asked concerned when he saw Sean's troubled expression.

"Ah, it's not so important," Sean tried to dodge the question.

Christian looked at him sceptically, "and that's why Julia insisted you specially come out from the operating theatre?"

Sean took a deep breath, "listen," he started hesitantly, "I have to go away again. You think you could do the next two operations alone?"

Christian stopped what he was doing and looked at him uneasily, "where do you want to go then?"

Sean ignored Christian's question, "Liz or nurse Linda could assist you."

"You want to pass on the exclusive responsibility?" Christian asked surprised. He shook his head, "but you're hiding something from me, Sean!"

The other surgeon lowered his head. He felt forced into a corner. He was quite sure that Christian would go on till he knew what the matter was. He knew him well enough to know that, "all right," he finally gave in sighing, "I'll tell you, but let's finish this procedure first."

Christian nodded. While he got to work again, Sean cast him untrusting glances sometimes.

"Okay then, we're alone now," Christian restarted the conversation as they were sitting opposite each other in the tea room twenty minutes later.

Sean cleared his throat, "first promise me you'll not go off the handle," he started vacillating, "too much excitement can lead to the constriction of the coronary heart artery with men of age forty or over which can again lead to cardiac infarct... "

"For God's sake's, Sean!" Christian slammed his fist onto the table that the cups began to dance on it, "I'll get an infarct right here in front of your eyes if you don't tell me right now what's wrong!" Christian said in a wax.

Sean took another deep breath before he continued, "Kimber's in hospital!" He then said quickly. 

Christian felt his stomach squeezing together and the dread that came up with it stiffened his throat, "is there...something wrong with the baby?" He garbled.

Sean shrugged and looked at his friend with empathy, "I'm sorry, I don't know much more. Julia only said she fainted."

Christian jumped off his seat, "and you barely tell me about it now?!" He said furiously, "I have to go see her!" He started to grab a few things hectically, "which hospital is it?"

"Cedars Medical Centre," Sean gave the answer, "but there's something else you should know..."

"No time," Christian took his briefcase and left the room before Sean could complete the sentence.

"Christian, wait!" Sean ran after him through the corridor and tried to hold him up, but he could only see the entrance door closing behind him.


	31. Chapter 31

A little later Christian stood in front of Kimber's room with a quaint feeling in his heart. He had still popped into a flower shop on the way to the hospital to buy Kimber's favourite flowers, white Calla lilies. He didn't know what was awaiting him at the other side of the door. Sean's utterances have been such a long way out that everything could've led to her fainting. Christian was imploringly hoping that everything was all right with the baby. The last hours and days have been an absolute contrast bath of feelings for him. And this had to happen exactly at the moment when he thought everything was back on track. He took another deep breath and stepped into the room. 

Kimber was lying in bed with her eyes shut. From her regular breathing Christian determined she was deep asleep. He put the flowers into a vase that stood on the table and then sat down onto a chair next to Kimber's bed. The sight of her moved him. She looked so fragile and in need of protection as she was lying there. Christian leaned over her on impulse and kissed her softly on the forehead. 

Kimber immediately opened her eyes and looked at him surprised, "Christian?!" She said unbelieving after that. 

He forced a smile while stroking her carefully on the cheek, "I didn't wanna wake you. How are you?"

A thousand thoughts were whirling around in Kimber's head while gazing at him. 

"Sean told me what happened," Christian said uncertainly, "why didn't you call me?"

Kimber closed her eyes. She asked herself what exactly could Sean have said to him. She was feverishly considering what she could answer. She sat up and she noticed the flowers, "you've even brought me flowers," she said to gain some time, "that's sweet."

Christian smiled wryly, "I didn't wanna show up empty handed," he looked at her concerned, "so what happened? Sean said you fainted."

Kimber made a laid-back gesture, "only a dizziness spell," she assured him, "my blood pressure was a bit too low. Nothing to worry about."

Christian's eyes spontaneously wandered to her stomach, "and the baby?" He asked quietly, "everything all right?"

A hardly noticeable smile flashed over Kimber's face, "I have something for you," she said and opened the night stand drawer. She pulled out a black and white photo from it and handed it to Christian, "can I introduce you," she said then ceremoniously, "...baby Troy."

Christian felt his eyes becoming wet while he was gazing at the ultrasound picture on which you could just about recognise two white dots inside a black blotch that will become a baby in some time. He leaned over Kimber and kissed her passionately, "I love you!" He whispered.

The intimate idyll was soon interrupted as the door opened suddenly and a young girl with long blonde hair stepped in.

Kimber held her breath for a moment while Christian was watching the visitor scrunching his forehead. He was contemplating where he had seen that face before.

"Oh...you have a visitor!" Sarah said embarrassed. She looked down blushing, "I didn't wanna disturb. I...I'll come back later then," she stammered.

"No, you should stay!" Kimber reacted quickly. Although she'd imagined the get-together of Christian and his sister a bit differently, it was now that the time seemed to have come when the two could get introduced to each other. Kimber hoped that Christian would keep himself together at least in front of Sarah and would not erupt when she could see it. She knew how angry and insulting he can be when he thought he was in the right.

Sarah shook her head, "I really don't wanna disturb," she felt Christian's scrutinising gaze on herself and looked up, "I've already heard so much about you."

Christian nodded as a reflex action while he was continuously looking at the young girl with a fixed gaze. He knew he already saw her once somewhere. The eyes and the smile were oddly familiar. He cleared his throat, "but I have unfortunately had heard nothing about you," he said raising his eyebrows.

"Christian, this is...Sarah," Kimber said quickly. She saw his facial colour suddenly changing and the smile froze onto his lips. She instantly looked down when she saw his uncomprehending expression.

Christian knew now where he had seen that face before-on a photo that Gail had shown him when they were sitting together in the consultations room. The young girl he saw before him and the one who was looking at her curiously was his sister! Christian needed some time to find his voice again, "hi!" He struggled to say then.

Sarah knew nothing of Christian's inner struggles, "you don't know me at all, but you do know my mom and my brother Max," she explained.

Christian forced a smile, "yes," he said quickly, "I remember." 

Sarah noticed the ultrasound image and a smile flashed over her face, "is that a photo of the baby?" She asked. 

Kimber nodded, "well yes, at least that's what it should become," she said grinning, "you can't distinguish much out on it yet."

"And what's it gonna be?" Sarah looked at Kimber curiously.

"It's not possible to tell that yet," Christian took charge, "maybe we'll know more in two months' time," he cleared his throat to get rid of the knot in it. He asked himself if Sarah knew he was her brother, but judging by her carefree behaviour, Gail had not confided in her yet.

"We'll know for sure after new year," Kimber said smiling, "given that everything goes according to plan," she added, "according to the doctor we'll have the baby at new year."

"Really?" Sarah's whole face was glowing all of a sudden, "I was born in January too. Maybe we'll be able to celebrate our birthdays together, me and the baby."

Kimber smiled, "we'll just have to wait and see."

Sarah turned to Christian, "it's been really nice to have met you Dr. Troy," she said, "but I have to go now. My cab's coming soon."

"I could take you home if you like," Christian offered spontaneously.

A wide smile appeared on Sarah's face, "that would definitely be wonderful! I could save the money then," She added grinning. 

Kimber held her breath. When she imagined Sarah and Christian simultaneously in the same car all by themselves and how she would tell Christian all about Gail, her stomach squeezed together. She suddenly panicked. She looked up and at Christian with a pleading facial expression, "you wanna go away already?" She asked. 

Christian stood up, "but I'll come back," he promised and bent down to Kimber to give her a good bye kiss, "I'll just get Sarah quickly home so she could save the cab money."

Kimber felt her mouth becoming dry and her palms becoming clammy, "please Christian...don't go!" She begged him.

He looked at her confused by her reaction, "but I'll really come back soon," he said calmingly, "just sleep a little and I'll be back before you can say knife," he smiled at Kimber once more and then he turned to Sarah, "are you ready?"

Sarah nodded. She also bent down to Kimber and gave her a kiss onto her cheek, "just take it easy," she said smiling.

Kimber sat in bed frozen like a statue and helplessly watched the two leaving her room. Her first instinct was to run after them, but that wouldn't have solved much in her present weakened state. And what should she tell them after that? The fate of Sarah, Christian and Gail was not in her hands anymore and would be now up to them what destiny had in store for them. Kimber let herself sink back groaning onto her pillow and closed her eyes tormented. With a bad feeling in the belly she finally fell into an unsettled sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

The drive with Sarah turned into a real nightmare for Christian. He found out some things he was better never finding out. Anger was mounting in him involuntarily when he thought about the fact that everybody who he trusted was going behind his back. Christian was clutching the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles became white. He had a wacky wish to scream, hit or break something to somehow release the bottled up tension. But instead he just sat there quite calmly and trying not to loose self control.

Sarah had told him that her mother was in the hospital and Kimber had taken her to Sean and Julia's for that time. The thought that Kimber lied to him the whole time wounded him like an arrow in his heart. The person who he most trusted, who he loved above all and who he was ready to marry had disappointed him the most as well. He would never forgive her for interfering with his life without being asked to. It all suddenly made sense-Kimber's inclination to invite Sarah to their wedding, the secrets and the open confession about her parents' death. It all had only one purpose-to make him amenable.

Christian thought about his last encounter with Gail shuddering. He had formally asked her to let him be part of the family. He told her he was proud of what he had accomplished in his life. But Gail had flung him out of her life. Her cold, detached words had stabbed him in the heart like a knife and had destroyed everything that he had ever felt for her. She would always only remember the worst day of her life looking at him, she told him back then.

Christian stopped in front of Sean and Julia's house mutely and let Sarah out.

"You don't wanna come in at all then?" She asked confused.

Christian shook his head, "I have to get back to the office," he said curtly.

Sarah watched distraught as he drove down the drive way with screeching wheels, leaving a dark dust cloud behind. 

--------------------

_The McNamara House_

Julia was surprised to find Sarah in the house when she got back from her doctor's appointment, "that was really quick," she established, "did you come with a cab?"

Sarah shook her head, "Dr. Troy's been so nice to drive me back," Sarah explained.

Julia looked up amazed. So Sean had decided to send Christian to the hospital after all," why didn't he come in?" She asked astounded.

"He said he wanted to go back to the office," Sarah clarified.

A bad feeling struck Julia. It wasn't Christian's way to disappear again without saying hello at least, "how's your mom?" She asked to get rid of her dark thoughts.

"Better already," Sarah said smiling, "she can maybe come back home soon."

"The doctor said that?" Julia asked curiously.

"No," Sarah shook her head, "my mom said that. She said the doctors will do some more tests and then she'd soon come home."

Julia looked at her pensively. She asked herself what kind of tests would they do with Gail. She thought of what Sean had said. Was Gail really suffering from a serious illness? She hoped Sean would have the possibility to speak to a doctor about that soon.

"I'll make lunch in a minute," Julia said to change the subject, "do you want to help?"

Sarah nodded eagerly, "with pleasure."

"All right," Julia smiled, "then I'll get the ingredients just now and then we'll start," she went to the fridge to get a few articles out when the phone rang, "Julia McNamara," she answered it.

"Julia, it's Sean. I'm calling to find out if Sarah got home all right." 

"Yes, Christian had just brought her home," Julia said, "Sarah said he was on his way back to the practice." 

"That's good. I could use a pair of hands here. How's Kimber?"

"She was only just taken to the ward when I was talking to her. I'll ask Sarah if she knows something." 

"All right. I have to go back to the operating theatre. See you later."

Julia placed the receiver back on its hook and went to Sarah who was putting an egg into the pan, "I hope you don't mind I have started already," she said smiling sheepishly, "but I'm really hungry."

"What did you talk about in the car?" Julia asked uncertainly.

"Ah, nothing special," Sarah said shrugging, "he wanted to know what I was doing at the hospital, and then I told him me and Kimber wanted to visit my mom and that Kimber fainted after that." 

Julia held her breath. So Christian used the drive with Sarah to ask her about things. She could easily imagine how willing Sarah would've been to answer all his questions. And she could only guess what the information he got had triggered in Christian. Suddenly his rushed take off after he had delivered Sarah was put in a completely different light.

"I just remembered I have to make an important call," Julia told Sarah. She had to warn Sean. She knew how impulsive Christian could be. And with the knowledge he now had, he would look for a confrontation with Sean without doubt. Julia dialled the number of the practice again with erratic fingers and then finally gave up frustrated as nobody answered any of her several further tries. Nurse Linda was probably already in the operation theatre, she concluded. She noticed Sarah's questioning glimpses and looked up.

"Let me set the table then," she said quickly and went over to the cupboard and took a couple of plates out, "that looks really appetising," she established next after taking a look at the pan.

"The only thing I can make," Sarah said grinning, "eggs and bacon with fresh mushrooms."

Sarah put the food onto the plates and they both began to eat lunch.


	33. Chapter 33

_McNamara/Troy Office_

Christian stepped into the office and went through the long hall with brisk steps. He ignored nurse Linda's irritated look as they crossed paths and he headed straight for the washroom. He ruminated over what he could tell Sean the whole way to the practice. He felt cheated on, disappointed, hurt. His friend had stabbed him in the back. A fact that wounded him even more than Kimber's involvement.

Christian's fists opened and clenched on reflex when he pushed open the door of the washroom. The words he had so circumspectly practised in the car to be able tell him where forgotten when he saw Sean. He suddenly had the weird feeling of standing beside himself and watching himself as he seized Sean by the collar and pressed him to the wall, "you knew about it the whole time, right?" He jumped him out of control.

Christian's attack surprised Sean so much that he was unable to react at first. He stared at him shocked.

"How could you do this to me at all?" Christian said accusingly, "I have warned you I don't want any interfering in my life! If that's the way you prove your friendship, then I can certainly do without it in the future!" 

Sean struggled for breath while looking at Christian uncomprehending, "please, let...me explain!" He mumbled. 

Christian let him go abruptly, "what do you want to explain?" He said despicably, "that you've abused my trust for a good reason and that you lied to me?" He stepped closer to Sean again and looked at him grimly, coolly, "I never needed anyone to tell me what I should do or not do and I won't start to need someone now!"

"You don't understand..." Sean started a new attempt to get through to Christian, "if you'd let me explain..."

"Enough of that! I'm not in the mood to hear any more of your lies!" Christian said gruffly.

Sean's words froze to his lips. Christian's outburst shocked him and unsettled him at the same time. He couldn't ever remember having had seen his friend and colleague so angry and filled of hate. He knew that the rage will soon turn into frustration and despair. And that was exactly what worried him. Christian liked to give the impression of a strong man to the outside world, but deep in his soul he was sometimes like a small child who couldn't cope with disappointments and frustrations all that well. He saw Christian turning around and going to the door, "where are you going?" Sean asked alarmed.

"Out, just simply out!" Christian said.

Sean's shock eased. He ran after Christian and grabbed him by the arm, "insult me or hit me I don't care if it makes you feel better, but it won't change the fact that Gail and Sarah need you!" He said. He hesitated a moment before continuing. He didn't know how to let Christian sparingly know that Gail was probably seriously ill, but he had no time to choose his words more prudently, "your mother's ill!" He said, "very ill. Maybe she'll even die," he said insistently, "can you live till the end of your life with the thought that you have never forgiven her?"

Christian turned to Sean slowly and looked at him blankly, "she already died six month ago," he said hoarsely. He freed himself of Sean's hand and left the office without turning back once more. 

-----------------------------

_Cedars Medical Center_

Kimber had just dozed off once again when the sound of the ringing phone woke her up. She sat up sighing and grabbed the receiver.

"Kimber, it's me Julia. I'm only calling to see if Christian's maybe there with you."

Kimber tried to ignore the bad feeling trying to engulf her again, "no," she said, "I keep asking myself the same thing, where could he be."

"He told Sarah he wanted to go to the practice."

There was a long pause when Kimber could only hear Julia's breathing.

"He knows about it Kimber! Sarah had told him that Gail's in hospital and that you knew about it the whole time."

Kimber suddenly had the feeling as if somebody was grabbing her heart with an ice cold hand. She clutched the receiver tighter, "oh no..." she said, "what...what did he say?"

"Nothing at all, that's exactly the thing. He just left. As I said, I think he wanted to go to the practice."

"Have you called Sean?" Kimber asked with a trembling voice.

"I tried, but nobody answered."

"I'm responsible for what happened," she said quietly, "he was already angry when I asked him to let me invite Sarah to the wedding," Kimber's eyes filled with tears, "apparently destiny doesn't want us to be happy with each other," she sobbed.

"Don't torture yourself! Anxiety's not good for you or the baby. I know something for sure though. Christian loves you, no matter what he does or says now. He's only a bit confused just now, that you could in point of fact understand under the circumstances."

"Is there nothing else I could do?" Kimber asked desperately.

"You should stay in bed and rest! It will help nobody if you collapse again."

Kimber cleared her throat," Julia, the doctor just came in. I have to go now," she put the receiver down quickly before Julia could oppose.

How could everybody expect her to stay in the hospital, relax and simply wait when she knew that Christian needed her help. The news that his mother was in hospital and the fact that she deceived him, that she kept meeting Sarah in secret the whole time must've been a shock for him. And she could not and did not want to leave him be alone at this moment in time. Especially that she felt accountable a little for the way things stood just now.

Kimber pulled the iv needle carefully out of her arm and the covers back. After some short hesitation she finally stood up and made a few steps in the room. She established relieved that the dizziness had not returned this time. She went over to the closet and took out the only pieces of clothing that were hanging there and put them on. She suddenly realised Sean had driven her there and she didn't have the possibility to drive herself anywhere. She grabbed for her handbag sighing and counted the money in her purse. It would just be enough for a taxi home, she considered.

Kimber pulled the night stand drawer open and took the ultrasound picture out, then she hurriedly put it in her bag. After a brief last look around she left the hospital room.


	34. Chapter 34

_At the Fitness-Studio_

Sweat was running down Christian's body in buckets while he tried to keep up with the speed of the treadmill. He blinked as the sweat was burning his eyes. His muscles hurt and his breathing became heavy, and he still had the feeling he hasn't done enough to ease the pain rampaging inside him.

"If you wanna kill yourself...there are easier options!"

Christian pressed the switch as a reflex action and the treadmill stopped so abruptly that he was thrown forwards, "leave me alone Sean!" He said breathing heavily while he tried to keep his balance at the same time. He slowly turned to Sean, "what are you doing here at all?"

"I followed you," Sean answered curtly, "I only wanted to prevent you going into the next tree and making Kimber a widow before you two even tie the knot," he noted sarcastically. He regarded Christian reproachfully, "you were driving like a madman! It's a miracle nobody got injured! If you don't care about your own life, that is up to you. But please next time think about the fact that you're not alone in the universe!" 

"What do you want from me Sean?" Christian said indignantly, "I thought I expressed myself clearly enough." 

"I want to continue the practice with the same person I started it with," Sean gave him the answer.

Christian ran a hand through his sweaty hair groaning, " listen Sean, I'm really sorry about what happened at the practice. I shouldn't have let it out like that. But my coming your way ends with that," he said resolutely, "I would not like to talk about Gail or about Sarah. Is that clear?"

Sean looked at him bewildered, "you really don't care at all about that?" He shook his head, "the Christian I knew had a heart, but you carry a stone in your chest in your heart's place!"

Christian closed his eyes. He remembered what Sean told him just before he left the practice so off the cuff, "what you told me at the practice, is that true, or you just said it to turn me to your side?" He asked hesitating.

Sean looked at him scrunching his eyebrows, "what are you talking about?"

"The thing with Gail," Christian struggled to say, "will she...die?" 

Sean held his head pensively, "I don't know," he admitted, "I've found a whole arsenal of painkillers in the house," he said irresolutely, "they were all on prescription only, drugs given to cancer patients for example," he paused a little, "I don't know much about it all myself, but Sarah told me that her mother was suffering from frequent headaches and faintness over the last while," he looked straight into Christian's eyes, "I'm asking you the doctor...what would you guess the patient suffers from?"

Christian felt a knot developing in his throat, "she didn't wanna have me in her life back then, why do you think she'd changed her mind?" He asked quietly.

Sean inhaled deeply, "she let Kimber into her life and she lets Sarah stay with us," he cleared his throat, "she tries everything to undo the mistakes she made in the past. Give her a chance!" He said insistently.

"I...I can't, Sean...I can not do it..." Christian lost his voice and he was fighting with his tears, "I have tried to forget about it all these months. And I almost managed to. But then Sarah appeared on the scene and everything started all over again," he looked at Sean with his eyes filled with tears, "I don't want to have to do this all over again."

"Let's say you always felt like destiny had especially had it against you," Sean started unsurely, "but you're a fighter, you've never given up believing in yourself. And you attained what others only dream of-you're successful, a conscientious surgeon, you have a woman who loves you, friends and you'll be a father soon. Destiny had taken care of you damn good Christian! And now you can even get a second chance. And you only need some courage to grab hold of it."

"What should I say to her?" Christian asked slowly, "she had admitted the last time we met that she can't be a mother for me. I don't know if I could be the son she expects me to be."

"Nobody expects anything from you," Sean said softly, "Julia asked me to make contact with Gail's doctor to find out more about her illness. But I think you should do that."

"I'm afraid Sean..."

"I know," Sean touched Christian shoulder lightly, "but to run away from the given problem was no solution either. And think about it-you're not alone. We're all standing behind you."

Christian nodded. He suddenly felt the burden rolling off from his shoulders and relied engulfed him instead.

"And don't be too hard on Kimber!" Sean said, "she had volunteered for a great deal of stress and constant worry to help Gail and Sarah. Her illness is the direct consequence of this undertaking-physically as much as psychologically," Sean inhaled deeply before continuing, "she made several attempts to tell you about Gail, but you never let her talk once. It was much easier for you to burry yourself under your own sorrow and not to let anybody in."

Christian listened to Sean's words looking down. He knew he was right about many things. He never gave Kimber the chance to talk about Sarah or Gail. He could only guess how much she had suffered during this time. 

"Would you come with me to the hospital?" Christian asked and looked at Sean pleadingly.

"Of course," Sean nodded, "if you'd like I'll go with you to talk to that doctor as well."

Christian shook his head, "that's something I have to do by myself. She's..." He hesitated for a moment because it didn't come easy for his to utter the words, "...my mother, not yours."

Sean exhaled relieved and a smile flashed over his face, "I can not express how relieved I am," he said. His face became suddenly serious again, "so we're still friends?"

Christian looked at him embarrassed, "I'm sorry about what I said to you at the practice. I didn't really mean it."

Sean's mouth suddenly rounded into a grin, "for a moment there I though the next thing I will taste is your fist."

Christian rolled his eyes, "I wasn't far off it either. The thought of the high-priced dentist bill stopped me," he said grinning.

Sean laughed, "well, then I should wear one of those gum shields boxers have in the ring the next time."

"I promise you there won't be a next time," Christian said with a serious face. He lifted the towel and put it over his shoulders, "I'll go have a shower now. Could I invite you for a drink afterwards?"

Sean looked at him surprised, "and why do you want to have a drink?" He asked curiously.

"For the best reason I can think of," Christian said with a sly smile. He paused a little before completing the sentence, "to drink on friendship!"


	35. Chapter 35

Kimber stepped into the apartment and went straight into the bathroom without stopping. The bumpy cab ride made her feel nauseous and light-headed again and she was happy she had as much control over herself not to throw up right there in the cab. She held herself up by the sink trembling after disposing of the contents of her stomach into the toilet. She took a washcloth and pressed it onto her hot forehead. She just about regretted acting out so and stealing herself out from the hospital already. Julia was right. It would help nobody if she collapsed again. But it was too late for that.

After she made sure she could stay upright without swaying, she went over to the living room slowly and put the hi-fi on. She looked at the clock. It was only late afternoon and it would probably take hours till Christian came home. She put the headset on her ears and stretched out on the sofa. She pondered broodingly on what she could say to Christian. He would in all probability not be saving on reproaches. But the first step was accomplished. Christian and Sarah had finally met.

Kimber asked herself what he would do next. Was he ready to take another step towards Gail yet? Kimber really hoped so-because of Sarah and Max, because of Christian and also for the baby's sake. She protectively put a hand on her belly. Whatever his reaction would be, she will be there for him, as she'd always been in the past. The quiet music gradually made its effect. Leaden tiredness took her over. She closed her eyes exhausted and let herself fall asleep.

_Cedars Medical Center_

Christian stood in front of Gail's hospital room undecided and with his palms clammy. He regretted not taking on Sean's offer to accompany him. Maybe the first step would've been easier for him in that case with a bit of support behind him. He was about to knock when he heard a voice behind himself.

"Do you want to see Mrs. Pollock? She's just asleep. She has a very probing treatment behind her," the doctor regarded Christian thoughtfully, "are you a relative?"

Christian cleared his throat, "Christian Troy," he introduced himself, "I'm Mrs. Pollock's...son." 

A surprised smile flashed over Dr. Jeffries face, "nice to have finally met you. Your wife told me you're a doctor too?" 

"Plastic surgeon," Christian said offhandedly, "do you know the plastic surgery McNamara/Troy?"

Dr. Jeffries lifted his eyebrows, "yes, I think I've heard about it before."

"Well, my partner Dr. McNamara and me, we are in charge of the practice together," Christian explained. He cleared his throat, "could it maybe be possible for us to speak privately?" He asked.

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "let's go into my parlour office," he suggested.

"Well, what you want to talk to me about?" Dr. Jeffries asked curiously when they sat down opposite each other in the parlour office.

"I would like to get a peek into the treatment plan if it's doable," Christian said quickly.

Dr. Jeffries looked at Christian contemplatively, "although you're a doctor, you're no employee of this hospital," he said hesitantly, "in that case I have to view you the same way as the rest of the visitors."

"I understand," Christian nodded. He considered feverishly how he could get the information on Gail's history. While he was still pondering, the phone suddenly rang.

Dr. Jeffries took the call and after he finished, he looked at Christian apologetically, "I'm urgently called to another ward. Could we maybe postpone the discussion?"

Christian nodded, "I'll call ahead then."

"Very good," Dr. Jeffries smiled, "you could certainly make your own way out."

Christian waited one more moment before hectically starting to search Dr. Jeffries desk for Gail's files. He tried to make as little bedlam as it was possible in the meantime. Nobody should in fact notice that somebody had spied into the files. Christian was finally successful and flicked the first page up hesitantly. He stared at the diagnosis after that as if he would've been stupefied. Sean was right about his assumptions then-Gail had cancer! And that for six month now. Christian knew that this form of cancer was especially sneaky because it was spreading quickly via the lymphatic system. A horrible thought appeared in his mind: Gail would die and Sarah and Max would become orphans!

A suppressed sob was strangling him. He stood up hastily and put the file back in its place. Why didn't she come to him after she had found out about her illness, he asked himself distraught. Having had the right treatment could've maybe still stopped the spreading. But a lymphoma that lay untreated for several month would inevitably lead to death. He only now became aware of what kind of dreadful burden Kimber had to carry all week. He remembered how many desperate attempts she had made to talk to him, but he had always blocked them immediately. And he now also understood why she'd wanted to keep contact with Sarah. Soon she would have no mother to stand by her. A destiny Kimber shared with her.

Christian ran a hand through his hair. A lot of things that seemed weird about Kimber's behaviour now made sense. He left Dr. Jeffries' parlour office still in shock. He turned onto the way towards Kimber's hospital room almost automatically. He felt the urgent need to be with her, to talk to her about these things he had just found out about. She was apparently the only one as well who knew what was wrong with Gail.

Christian opened the door to Kimber's room and found the empty bed in there. He saw some dried up drops of blood on the bed sheet coming from the iv needle having taken out improperly. He remembered the day of her abduction for a moment. She had simply disappeared without a trace back then as well. A strange inner uneasiness took hold of him. He went down the corridor and addressed a nurse, "could you tell me where the patient from room 301 is?" He asked slowly.

The nurse looked at him raising her eyebrows and then stepped into the room with him, "I have no idea," she shrugged, "as far as I know she hasn't been released yet. The doctor's been in here with her only twenty minutes ago and had set up the iv," she wondered herself.

"Thanks," Christian said quietly. As he supposed, Kimber had left the hospital without the go-ahead of a doctor. It wasn't such a good idea in her present weakened state, she put her and the baby's well-being at risk with it, "is there a phone here? I have to make an urgent call."

"Yes, downstairs, closely next to the information desk there's a coin phone," the nurse answered.

"Does it happen often that patients disappear so?" Christian asked tentatively.

"No," she shook her head, "but we could hardly gag them and tie them down," she rolled her eyes, "who wants to go, can go." 

Christian frowned, "thanks again for the info," he turned around and hurried down the steps.


	36. Chapter 36

Christian could only think of one more place Kimber could be at apart from at home. At least he was hoping for that when he dialled the phone number of the McNamaras, "Sean? It's me," he stated after that, "is Kimber there with you?"

"With us? I think she's in hospital."

"She was here all right a little while ago," Christian answered sighing, "it looks like she'd left the hospital without the approval of a doctor." 

Deadly silence ruled for a moment.

"Sean, are you still there?" Christian asked startled.

"Did you talk to her doctor?"

"No, but the nurse told me that the doctor was with her not long ago to fix her iv. I don't understand why did she run away like that. I'm worried Sean." 

"Maybe she went home. Have you tried there already?" 

"Yes," Christian nodded, "I have tried there first, but the answer machine picked up right away. Where could she be?"

"Maybe she's looking for you. What about the practice?"

"I've tried there too-nothing. It's like she's disappeared from the face of the earth," he sighed. 

"Calm down! She'll reappear again soon. She can't be far."

"She should've never left the hospital," Christian said despairingly, "if something happens to her or the baby I'll never forgive myself! It's all my fault."

"It's not! How could you foresee her running away. What's with Gail? Did you speak to her?"

"No, she was sleeping when I arrived here," he paused a little, "you were right about your assumption...Gail has cancer."

Neither of the two man uttered a word for a moment.

"I'm so sorry Christian!"

Christian felt his eyes filling with tears, "she'll die Sean!" He said desperately, "and I had no idea of anything at all..."

"Are you still there at the hospital? Don't move away from there! I can be there in twenty minutes and then we'll look for Kimber together."

"All right," Christian answered tiredly. He was happy he didn't have to deal with the situation all by himself.

Sean turned to Julia after finishing the conversation with Christian, "that was Christian," he said slowly.

"Something happened?" She asked surprised.

"Kimber'd disappeared..." 

"What?!" Julia looked at him appalled, "what do you mean disappeared? Was she...kidnapped?" She asked frenziedly.

Sean saw her becoming pale all of a sudden, "do you think she was kidnapped?" He shook his head, "Quentin's dead and Kit's in jail. What happened back then will never happen again," he said confidently, "don't worry about that!"

Julia ran her trembling fingers through her long blonde hair, "yes, sorry, I got reminded of the kidnapping for a moment there."

"Christian says she left the hospital by own accord. That's why he called. He thought she was here."

"When I talked to her on the phone the last time it didn't seem to me she was fit enough already to leave the hospital."

"What were you two talking about?" Sean asked curiously.

"I told her Christian knew about Sarah and Gail for sure," Julia explained, "she was nervous about it of course, but I reassured her."

"Apparently not enough," Sean said dryly. He inhaled deeply, "how could you tell her about that Julia?" He asked shaking his head.

"I'm...sorry, but I couldn't guess she was gonna react quite like that," Julia said changing her note.

"Where's Sarah?"

"She does homework with Annie. Why?" Julia was somewhat surprised by Sean changing the subject.

"I don't want her to hear any of this conversation," he said whispering.

"What's wrong?" Julia asked fazed. 

"Christian had talked to the doctor," he cleared his throat, "you remember what I told you about the drugs I found in Gail's house?"

Julia nodded. She saw Sean's pained expression and she knew he had no good news to share.

"Gail has...cancer!" He said slowly.

Julia felt her heart squeezing together painfully. So her bad hunch didn't fail her, "poor Gail!" She said. She fought her tears, "I was hoping so much you were wrong. How does Christian take it?"

"He's floored," Sean said quietly, "that's why I wanna go meet him at the hospital. He shouldn't be alone. And then we'll look for Kimber together. You stay here in case she calls. Her car's still in front of the door. She'll maybe come to get it. And please," he added and looked pleadingly at Julia, "don't tell Sarah anything!"

Julia shook her head. She was still completely in shock after the horrible news, "but...somebody should talk to her soon and tell her what's wrong with her mother," Julia said quietly.

Sean nodded with a serious face, "although I think that's not our job," he said, "maybe Christian could help Gail telling Sarah and Max."

"It will be a shock for them," Julia warned, "but you're right, it would be time," she put her hands on Sean's shoulders and gave him a kiss, "I hope you'll find Kimber. And if she gives a sign to me, I'll call you. Do you have your cell phone with you?" 

Sean nodded, "I could get delayed," he said sighing, "don't wait up for me," he turned around and left the house.


	37. Chapter 37

"What should you tell me?"

Julia carted around startled and found herself confronted with Sarah's questioning, apprehensively looking eyes.

"How long have you been standing there for?"

"Since somebody should talk to her soon and tell her what's wrong with her mother," Sarah repeated the sentence.

Julia groaned innerly. It was exactly this kind of situation she wanted to avoid when she promised Sean not to tell Sarah anything yet at the moment. It gave her great inner turmoil about what she should do now, "come on, let's sit down. Did Annie finish her homework?"

Sarah nodded mechanically, "she asked me a short while ago if I would like to go to her friends' Tori with her. But I told her I'd rather read something. I was just about to get a book from the living room. I didn't wanna spy on you two!" She quickly added.

"No, I'm sure of that," Julia said looking at Sarah compassionately, "so," she started hesitating after they sat down, "as it seems your mother will have to stay in hospital for a while longer."

"A while longer?" Sarah looked at Julia alarmed, "for how long then?"

"I don't know that exactly myself," Julia managed to say, "but of course you stay with us till then," she added promptly.

"Please tell me the truth Mrs. McNamara!" It suddenly blurted out of Sarah, "how ill's my mom in reality?"

Julia closed her eyes. She felt her mouth becoming dry and she started to clear her throat nervously, "very ill, Sarah..." She finally confessed to the young girl.

"Will she die?"

Julia looked at Sarah surprised. She didn't expect that question. Apparently Sarah had been more worried about her mother's health than everybody thought she was.

"I don't know," Julia said honestly. She hesitated a moment before continuing, "but the doctors are doing everything to help her."

Tears were silently running down Sarah's cheeks, "I don't want her to die!" She sobbed, "she's all I have," she put her hands before her face and started to cry unreserved.

"Sweetie," Julia fought her tears when she took Sarah into her arms on instinct and was stroking her hair reassuringly, "you're not alone," she said quietly. She considered for a moment whether she should tell Sarah Christian was her brother. But she dismissed the idea again right away. Sarah's shock was big enough already without her knowing that her mother was raped when she was fourteen and became pregnant as a result, "I'm so sorry! I didn't want you to find out this way."

Sarah straightened up a bit and looked at Julia through her tears, "did Kimber know as well?"

Julia nodded. She stoked Sarah's face softly, "you shouldn't be angry with her. She didn't tell you because she didn't wanna upset you." 

Sarah jerked herself free from Julia's embrace, "why does everybody always think I'm still too young to understand?" She said all riled up.

"But nobody does think that," Julia said sympathetically, "Kimber only thought it would maybe better if it was your mother who tells you about it first." 

Sarah nodded hanging her head. She stood up and cleared the tears away off her face, "I think I'm gonna go with Annie anyway," she said quietly.

"That's a good idea," Julia forced a smile. She watched worriedly as Sarah was leaving the living room and went through the hall towards Annie's room.

_Cedars Medical Center_

"I'm really happy you're here Sean," Christian stepped forward to meet his friend half way as he got to the waiting area.

"Any news about Kimber?"

"No," Christian shook her head, "I have called everywhere-home, the fitness club, the practice, her hairdresser, the model agency..." Christian didn't complete the sentence and let himself fall back onto a chair moaning, "it's like the ground would've have opened and then swallowed her," he said desperately, "the whole time I'm thinking I maybe told her something or I did something that led to her leaving the hospital," she shrugged admitting defeat, "but there was nothing at all. Everything seemed to be okay when I left here."

Sean suddenly remembered what Julia had told him, "Kimber knew Sarah told you about Gail being in hospital," he said unenthusiastically.

"From who?" Christian lifted his eyebrows surprised, "from Sarah?" 

Sean shook his head while sitting down as well, "from Julia. She and Kimber had talked on the phone."

Christian shook his head, "I still don't understand. Why did she run away? And next question-where to?"

Sean looked at the clock, "visiting time's over. Maybe you should drive home and sleep on it first," he suggested.

"Sleep?" Christian shook his head and regarded Sean with a reproachful look, "could you sleep peacefully if Julia was out somewhere and you didn't know she was all right or not?"

Sean slowly shook his head, "but staying here doesn't solve anything either," he said calmly.

Christian ignored his last objection, "when can you report missing persons at the police?" He asked while he rigidly stared ahead.

"After forty-eight hours," Sean specified.

Tiredness closed Christian's eyes, "why's she doing this to me? I thought everything was squared away between us," he opened his eyes again and looked at Sean desolately, "we wanted to get married in ninety-six hours time. I should maybe better call the priest and tell him there will be no wedding."

It almost broke Sean's heart to see Christian so unhappy, "and what would you cite as the reason?" He asked quietly.

"The bride disappeared...yet again..." He shrugged surrendering, "it doesn't seem like it was granted I will be happy," he stood up and went towards the way out.

"Where do you wanna go?" 

"I'll take your advice and I'll drive home," Christian answered sighing.

Sean scrutinised him, "and you swear you don't wanna do any stupidities?"

Christian lifted his hand and put his index and middle finger in a cross, "I swear," he pulled his lips into a hardly noticeable smile, "thanks for your support! I'll see you at the practice," he turned and walked out.


	38. Chapter 38

Julia was sitting on the ground in the lotus position and was just about to do some of her breathing exercises when Sean stepped into the house. She stood up as quickly as her condition let her, "you're here at last!" She said while going to him.

"What's wrong?" Sean asked confused, "did Kimber check in with you?"

Julia shook her head, "not so far. I was hoping you would find her."

"So why are you so tense then?" Sean asked and looked at her scrunching his forehead.

Julia inhaled deeply before answering the question, "Sarah had overheard our previous conversation."

Sean's face suddenly lost colour, "what exactly did she hear?" He asked hesitantly.

Julia let herself fall onto a seat and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "enough to become suspicious," she answered sighing, "I know you've asked me not to tell her anything, but she virtually begged me to tell her what's wrong with her mother!"

"You told her that Gail has cancer?" Sean looked at Julia uncomprehending.

"No," Julia shook her head, "I told her that her mother's very ill. She doesn't know it's cancer."

Sean nervously grabbed into his hair, making it tussled while groaning quietly, "I would've liked you to wait with that. Gail'll be raving when she finds out we told Sarah."

"And please tell me what else could have I done?" Julia protested, "she's neither naive or blind, Sean! You should've seen her face when I told her. I have my reasons to be angry with Gail myself," Julia said, "how could she leave her children in the darkness about her state of health for so long?"

"Keep cool, Julia! Think of our child," Sean said calming her, "besides you can't change those things anymore," he let out a deep sigh, "when I got up this morning it looked like it's gonna be a nice day and then hell broke out on earth," he stopped short before continuing, "Kimber disappears without a trace, Sarah finds out her mother will die and Christian wants to call off the wedding..." 

"What does he want?" Julia asked shocked.

"He told me a little while ago that he wanted to phone the priest and call the wedding off," he shrugged, "Kimber's gone...no bride, no wedding."

"I simply don't understand," Julia shook her head, "do you think she got cold feet at the last moment?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." 

"But you've been together with her for a couple of month," Julia said and looked at him evocatively, "wasn't that enough time to search her soul?" She rolled her eyes. 

"Was there a little trace of jealousy in your words?" Sean jollied.

Julia looked at him in indignation, "of Kimber? Nonsense! I just have problems understanding her sometimes. She often reacts so unpredictably and impulsively," she sighed, "I only hope she's okay. It's a bit strange that she doesn't give a sign at all," she said thoughtfully, "imagine, she could've been kidnapped somehow again and is lying in some hospital now...unconscious...bleeding..."

"Stop it Julia! A little bit more optimism please! The whole situation's already complicated enough without us having to paint some more added horror scenarios to the wall!"

"I'm sorry. It must be because of my hormones playing crazy just now," she apologised contritely.

"We now wait for the forty-eight hours to pass and if she somehow still doesn't reappear till then we report her missing."

"And I thought everything will be all right now," Julia sighed.

"Yes, that's what I thought too," Sean stood up and gave Julia a kiss, "I'll go over a couple more files," he explained and went into the study's direction.

_Cedars Medical Center _

Dr. Jeffries was standing next to the bed of her patient fully swallowed up by Gail's files and only looked up when she addressed him.

"How long do I still have to stay here for?"

Dr. Jeffries looked critically at Gail over the rim of the glasses, "you're too impatient Mrs. Pollock. But I have already told you that we have to keep you here at least for a week so that chemotherapy takes effect."

"Be honest doctor..." She took a deep breath before speaking about what bothered her, "do you think I have a chance?"

"Without this therapy it would be equal to zero," Dr. Jeffries avoided the question, "with this form of treatment we can achieve very good results. If we could've started with the chemotherapy a couple of month earlier, the chances of recovery would've been quite high," he cleared his throat, "we didn't finish with all the tests. That's why we can't tell you for certain yet how far the cancer had spread." 

"What's further treatment like?" Gail asked quietly.

Dr. Jeffries flapped the files shut and looked at Gail long and thoughtful, "a new drug appeared on the market not long ago that should hinder these cancer cells spreading. This drug have only been tested on a few patients so far. But we already found an improvement with the well being by eighty-five percent of the test subjects. In some cases their cancer even got reduced in size. This antibody substance is administered though an iv, i.e. they would have to come every few weeks into the hospital, so that the infusion can be given to them. In addition the side effects are quite strong. Some of the patients complain about fever, chills, nausea, vomiting, general weakness. The same problem with any kind of chemotherapy by the way. Not only cancerous cells are destroyed but also healthy ones."

Gail was listening to the doctor in silence. If there was only a flicker of hope, then she would do what was necessary to get well. The thought of the side effects therefore didn't bother her that much. It couldn't be worse that what she was already feeling like, "I'd like to live to see my grandchild grow up," she said barely audibly.

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "all right. Let's get to the cost of the treatment..." He adjusted his glasses on his nose and opened Gail's files again, "there, this medicine's only in the testing phase, so the patient must carry the main part of the costs. For 12 treatments an approx.1500 dollar is estimated. I think, to see some visible improvement of your condition, we will approximately need a treble dose for you."

Gail became pale, "but... I do not have 4500 dollars..." She stammered, "when my husband died he only left debts behind. We have a mortgage on the house. I had to sell a lot of our things to survive at all. Max 's study fees already cost us a fortune... " She lost her voice and tears appeared in her eyes.

"What about your son?" Dr. Jeffries said quickly.

"My son?" She echoed.

"He surely earns enough as a plastic surgeon. Maybe you could ask him to stand the costs. If you'd like I could ask him too. Unfortunately I didn't have time for him this afternoon because I had to go to another ward. But I'll catch him again tomorrow."

Gail sat there as if thunder struck, "Christian was... here?!" She stuttered disbelievingly.

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "you were sleeping at the time, and I asked him not to disturb you. But he will surely pass here tomorrow again."

Thousand thoughts were revolving around in Gail's head. What did Christian want here and how did he know at all she was in hospital? It was probably Kimber, she considered. She looked up startled. The thought of Kimber hadn't occurred to her for a while, "how is she?" She asked anxiously, "is everything all right with the baby?"

Dr. Jeffries held his head contemplatively, "that unfortunately I do not know. After her collapse she was taken to another ward for which I am not responsible. In addition I am not authorized to talk with patients about other patients."

"Would you do me a favour?"

"If I can," Dr. Jeffries nodded. 

"Could you try to find out how she is? Please!" Gail looked at him pleadingly.

"I could, but as I told you I'm sworn to secrecy," Dr. Jeffries repeated hesitantly, "I'm really sorry," he added when he saw Gail's sad face, "but you surely understand, don't you?"

Gail nodded hanging her head, "will you come back again later?"

"Yes, I'll come back once more on my round," Dr. Jeffries promised, "and no worries, I'll speak with your son about the costs of the anti-body therapy," he still added before he finally left the room.


	39. Chapter 39

Tiredly Christian unlocked the door to his apartment and put his things down in the hallway. He did not have any idea how should he survive this night. His thoughts in any case constantly revolved only around Kimber. The fear and uncertainty almost drove him insane. He had gone through the things they spoke about again and again in head. That had given him no pointers for her getting annoyed perhaps about something either. He remembered how nervous she had been. Had it been because of the fact that she didn't feel able to live with secrets no more?

He made his way almost automatically into the living room and remained then standing as if he would've been an inbuilt feature when his eyes wandered at the sofa. There she lay and slept quite peacefully. The headphones had slid down a little and one hand she rested on her belly.

Kimber! Christian didn't know whether he had only thought her name or he did say it out loud. His inner tension turned into a feeling of relief and he fell onto his knees before the sofa and stroke her hair, forehead and cheeks tenderly. He simply had to touch her to make sure that it was not all a hallucination. An unrestrained feeling of blessing engulfed him. Kimber was with him and she and the baby were safe.

Kimber's eyelids began to flutter when she felt the gentle touch and she woke suddenly up when warm lips touched her mouth, "Christian..." She stammered and an unbelieving smile played on her lips. She put her arm on his shoulder and began to stroke his neck.

"I'm so happy you're all right!" He said, "why did you run away from the hospital?"

"I wanted to be with you," she suddenly remembered the reason why she left the hospital, "I'm so sorry! I wanted..."

"Shush..." Christian put a finger quickly on her lips, "you don't have to explain anything. I know everything already. I spoke to Gail's doctor." 

"I'm sorry you had to find out about it this way," Kimber said quietly, "how are you feeling?" She looked at him compassionately.

"I wish she would've come to me after she found out about it," he said slowly, "I would've been there for her. I could've maybe helped her. But now it's too late..." He lost his voice and was fighting with his tears. 

Kimber sat up quickly and took him into her arms. She was holding his shaking body until the crying fit was over.

Christian freed himself from Kimber's arms carefully and wiped the tears off his cheeks, "I wail about here and you are the one badly off," he rolled his eyes.

"I'm already a lot better," Kimber held. To underline her words she got up and was standing slightly swaying before him, "if this constant dull feeling in my stomach would be away I'd feel simply amazing," she smiled tormented.

Christian lifted his eyebrows while he regarded her critically, "okay, enough of this!" He said determined, "would you like to still pack together a few things before we go?"

"Where are we going then?" Kimber looked at him confused.

"Back to the hospital," Christian said curtly.

"But I don't wanna go back there!" She begged.

"Come on, be reasonable! You cannot even stand upright, let alone walk. Your whole body's shaking and your face is whiter than a sheet!" He shook his head, "if you do not want to do it for you, then do it for our baby!" He said and regarded her with an beseeching look.

Kimber let herself fall back onto the sofa exhausted, "maybe you're right," she sighed. A thought crossed her mind suddenly, "what...what's with the wedding?" She asked resentfully.

"I will call the priest later and tell him we will postpone the wedding," Christian answered soberly, "you have to become healthy again first and then we'll set a new date."

A deep sigh left Kimber's throat, "will we ever manage to get to the altar?" She regarded him with a sad look, "I wished nothing more than becoming your wife. But each time something comes up. It is like as if we're been jinxed."

"Haven't you been the one saying at times that everything in life has a reason as to why it's happening? Only sometimes we do not understand why certain things happen with us."

"Will you talk to Gail?" Kimber changed the subject suddenly.

Christian nodded uncertainly, "yes, I think it's time. I don't know how she'd react, but she should know she's not alone."

"Sarah doesn't know about anything yet," Kimber said quietly, "you have to convince Gail to talk to Sarah and Max," Kimber said insistently, "she cannot leave her in the dark any longer." 

"I will try my best," Christian nodded, "however first I maybe should call Sean and Julia. They are sick with worry because of you."

Kimber looked at him surprised, "why that?"

"We didn't know where you got to after you left the hospital," Christian explained.

"But I've came straight home from the hospital," Kimber said taken aback, "I set myself down on the sofa and then I probably dozed off." 

Christian pointed to the headphones on the sofa, "I called so many times my fingers hurt, but if you had the headphones on it's no miracle that you did not hear the telephone," he grinned.

"Oh no...the headphones... " Kimber rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry you had to worry unnecessarily," she said ashamed.

"It's not really your fault," he dismissed it, "however a stone will surely fall off their hearts when they hear that you are all right."

"And then the next shock comes when they hear the wedding will not be on," Kimber noted sighing. She looked at Christian long and thoughtfully, "are you really completely sure that's what you want?" 

Christian nodded, "your health and the baby's is more important," he said resolutely. He scrunched his forehead ponderingly.

"What is it?" Kimber asked uneasily. 

"When we set up a new date..." He started hesitantly, "I was just asking myself if Sarah or Gail would like an invitation to the wedding."

A happy smile lit Kimber's face, "I love you, you know that?"

"Yes, but I don't mind you repeating it too often either," he said grinning. He pulled her into his arms and sealed her lips with a kiss.


	40. Chapter 40

Christian arrived back to the apartment for the second time the same day after he had taken Kimber to hospital. He went into the living room, plunked himself onto the sofa and grabbed the phone standing on the table. It was well time he notified Julia and Sean of the news. He was relieved Kimber agreed to going back to the hospital right away. She was the best off there till her health stabilised itself again. He'd used the opportunity to briefly talk to her attending physician who had told him that she should stay in hospital at least till the weekend.

Till the weekend-in four days time. The whole thing grew to have a completely new meaning now that they had decided to call the wedding off. Fortunately anyway only a small party had been planned, in contrast to the last time and only the closest friends and family was invited this time. But they had to be informed about the fact that no wedding would take place. Exactly the same as the priest as well, the catering service supplying the food, the flower shop, the wedding salon, the provider of the wedding cake, the hotel in Venice, where they had booked their honeymoon. The list was infinitely long.

Christian buried his face into his hands moaning. He would probably spend all next day on the phone. But first he would call Sean and Julia now. He dialled the number sighing and waited till somebody picked up.

"Julia McNamara."

"Julia, here is Christian. I have good news. Kimber is back."

"Thank God! Where was she then?"

"She was at home the whole time. We couldn't reach her because she had the headphones on," Christian explained grinning.

Julia laughed, "sorry, but that's so funny. She was at home the whole time while we phoned everybody around wildly and were fearing the worst," she became serious again, "how is she then?"

Christian cleared his throat, "I took her back to hospital. She could hardly stand upright! I talked to the doctor and he said that her blood results came back so bad it's catastrophic. Her constant dieting led to a severe deficiency of minerals."

"Is the baby in danger?" Julia asked concerned.

"If the deficiency doesn't get dealt with soon, it will be," Christian answered sighing, "I should've known that in reality she was ruining her health with that dieting craze. But despite that I have supported her with it on top of it. And our child has to pay the price now," he said bitterly.

"Oh Christian, I'm so sorry about that! As if you didn't have enough problems as it is. How long does she have to stay in hospital?"

"At least till the weekend", Christian informed her, "but she will have to rest afterwards too."

"Till the weekend?" Julia paused briefly, "what is then with your wedding?" 

Christian took a deep breath before answering, "we decided to postpone the wedding," he said determined.

There was a pause for a moment where neither of the two said a word.

"Are you shocked now?"

"No, I think, in this situation it's really best", agreed Julia. "Kimber must become healthy again. And you still have sufficient different concerns." 

"You speaking of Gail?"

"Yes, and Sarah too," Julia hesitated before continuing, "I told her what's wrong with her mother. I thought she had to know."

"You have...what?" He asked taken aback.

"She was catching on", Julia said quickly, "apparent she already suspected that something's wrong."

"Does she know her mother will die?"

"No, only that she is very ill and must still remain in hospital for another while."

"And how did she react?"

"She was naturally shaken, but she took it nevertheless very calmly."

"Does she know that I'm her...?" Christian came to a stop middle of the sentence.

"That you're her half brother?" added Julia, "no. I think that Gail should speak first with her about it. But before that you should talk with Gail."

"I intend to as well. But I am so nervous as I was before my first date," he sighed, "we've seen each other six month ago for the last time and back then she told me..."

"You have to forget what was back then!" Julia interrupted him, "Gail could've said a lot of things then that would've hurt you, but she needs you more now than she did then," Julia said urgently, "and if she dies you are the only family Sarah and Max will have." 

"And what is, if she does not want my assistance at all?" Christian asked hesitating.

"Perhaps it helps you, if Sean accompanied you", Julia suggested, "I can imagine that it is not easy for you."

"I have bothered you with this too much already. That's something I have to do alone. Besides one of us should hold the fort the practice." 

"Have you thought about a new date for the wedding at all?" Julia changed the subject.

"Not yet, why?" 

"I'd be nice if you hurried up with your plans so I don't have to give birth to my child at the church!"

"We'll take that into account," Christian said smiling, "could you let Sean know I'll be at work a bit later tomorrow? I'd like to go to the hospital tomorrow early morning first."

"I'll do that. And tell us if you find out something new. Good luck for tomorrow!"

"Thanks!" Christian put the receiver down and went over to the bedroom to change next.


	41. Chapter 41

Christian was looking forward to the discussion with Gail with mixed feelings. He did not know what she would expect from him. Six months had passed since him and Gail had seen each other for the last time. And at that time he had the feeling that the good bye was for ever. But destiny had other plans. And now he stood again in front of her door and wondered whether he should go in. He thought of Kimber. He admired her strength and courage. Without her he would probably not stand here. She had smoothed the way for him; he had to make the last step now. Christian took a deep breath again and knocked then hesitantly on the door.

"Yes, come in."

Gail was sitting up in bed when he stepped in. A hardly noticeable smile flashed over her face when she saw who her visitor was.

Christian noticed Gail's benevolent facial expression with relief. Apparently she had prepared herself for this meeting, she gestured him to sit down.

"Hello Christian!"

As if his throat would've been corded up and his palms were all clammy for the excitement when he was approaching the bed hesitating and took place on the chair that was offered to him. He said "hello..." hoarsely. He felt his heart pressing against his ribs. A feeling of trepidation overcame him.

Gail noticed Christians uncertainty and she was considering how she could bring him out of his shell, "how's Kimber?" She inquired anxiously.

Christian cleared his throat nervously, "her doctor said that she'll probably has to stay in hospital till the weekend," he started diffidently, "she's not all that well. She has problems with her circulation and then this continuous nausea..."

"But you wanted to get married at the weekend!" Gail threw in. 

"We'll postpone the wedding till Kimber's better," Christian forced out through his pressed together lips.

"Don't worry," Gail said encouragingly, "many women have problems at the beginning of their pregnancies. It will be better after the first trimester is over," she pulled her lips into a smile for a moment, but she became serious again right away when she thought about the reason of why he was there, "look Christian, I know it didn't come easy for you to see me. It's not easy for me either," she added quietly.

"I...didn't think I'll ever see you again," he started irresolutely, "after what happened then, I thought you'll never want to see me again..." He stopped short mid sentence when he suddenly felt a knot in his throat.

"I thought it would be better for Sarah and Max..." Gail was fighting with her tears, "I didn't want them to have to find out about the horrible things that happened to their mother. If I would've told them you're my son, then I would've had to tell them about the rape as well. And I simply wasn't ready for that at that point. I don't know if you can understand that? But I was simply afraid."

Christian summarily hung his head and nodded mutely. He also felt his eyes filling with tears.

Gail noticed Christian's wary behaviour, how her words were affecting him a lot. She put an arm out towards him and grabbed his hand.

Christian lifted his hand shocked and surprised by the touch at the same time. Their eyes met for a moment. He saw the fear, the pain and the uncertainty in her eyes. He let her hold his hand, even if his first impulse was to pull back. But in this tentative touch he also saw an acknowledgement that she was ready to accept her son. But could he do the same kind of thing as well? Christian took a deep breath.

"Could you ever forgive me for what I have done to you?" It burst out of Gail suddenly while the pressure on his hand increased, "if not, I could understand that as well. I told you such horrible thing back then..." Gail lost her voice and she started to fumble in the night stand drawer for a hankie. 

Christian pulled a handkerchief out from his trousers pocket and held it out for Gail in silence.

"Thanks!" She carefully dabbed her eyes and nose, "do you still know what you gave me as a good bye present back then?"

Christian nodded, "a photo album," he said quietly.

Gail nodded, "do you know how often I look at it?" She cleared her throat, "so many times you can't count it. Secretly-when I was alone, or Sarah and Max were asleep. I thought I could continue the way I did before I knew you, but I couldn't. And then I found out you were kidnapped..." Gail paused a little and inhaled deeply, "I was crazy with worry back then! That uncertainty not to know if you were dead or alive, that was just unbearable," she said tortured.

Christian looked at her surprised, "you knew about the kidnapping?"

Gail nodded, "yes, they were reporting it in the newspapers back then," a deep sigh escaped her, "if I didn't feel so poorly myself at that time I would've visited you at the hospital. It's maybe absurd, but I saw my cancer as a punishment for what I've done to you."

"But that's non-sense!" It escaped out of Christian, "it is known that stress can set these things off and it can also make them worse. Your cancer is possibly a late reaction to the trauma you suffered as a young girl."

Gail nodded, "you're perhaps right about the cancer, but that doesn't excuse what I've done," she said quietly, "I basically gave up responsibility without thinking of further consequences." 

Christian looked at her scrunching his forehead, "what responsibility are you talking about?"

"The responsibility a mother has for her children," Gail answered calmly, "I made you accountable for my bungled up life, blamed you for everything that went wrong. I condemned you without giving you the chance to defend yourself," she paused a little, "I'm so endlessly sorry Christian! I know that no apology can make up now for what I've done to you. But please," she pleaded, "give me the chance to be the mother you never had in that short time I have left and to be the one you were so longing for your whole life!" 

Christian bottom lip started to quiver and a sob was choking him. He quickly stood up and turned towards the window so Gail couldn't see him fighting with his tears. Her confession was simply too much for him. His tears were running down his face quietly. He let them, cause he simply didn't have enough energy to fight them. How long has he been waiting for Gail to say those words to him? And now when she finally owns up, the breath of death is flouting over them. Why had fate united them only to separate them soon yet again? He would not bear to lose her once again.

Slowly Christian turned to Gail. His vision was blurred for the tears, "I can't..." He said suppressing a sob. He ignored Gail's speechless look when he pushed the door of the hospital room open and ran along hospital corridor speedily until he found a place where nobody could see him. Breathing heavily and powerless, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. While his body was shaking with a crying fit he let himself slide down slowly and covered his face with his hands.


	42. Chapter 42

Christian didn't know how long he'd been squatting on the floor with his hands in front of his face, he looked up dazed when somebody touched him on the shoulder. It was Dr. Jeffries.

"Dr. Troy? Everything all right?"

Christian got up slowly and wiped the tears off his face, "yes, thanks, it's fine," he cleared his throat.

"I was just coming from the office and was witness to you running out from Mrs. Pollock's room," he scrutinised Christian, "is really everything okay?" He made sure once more.

"Yes, really," Christian forced a smile, "I only wanted to be alone for a few minutes."

"If you wanna talk about it...we could certainly go to my office for another while," Dr. Jeffries offered his help.

Christian checked his watch and then nodded, "yes, I have a few minutes. I only have to get to the practice by half eleven," he explained. 

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "I'm taking a break just now anyway. We can spend it talking a bit."

"You must find my behavior possibly a little outlandish", began Christian coming to a halt already after they had taken a seat in Dr. Jeffries consulting room, "however my...mother and me, our relationship was not the best."

"I understand," Dr. Jeffries nodded and looked seriously at Christian over the rim of his glasses, "that means you refusing to stand the cost of the treatment," he concluded.

"What treatment?" Christian asked confused.

"The antibody treatment that's supposed to stop the cancer cells from spreading," he lifted his eyebrows, "your mother didn't tell you about it?"

Christian shook his head mechanically.

"Well, I assumed you knew," Dr. Jeffries was visibly irritated.

"I had no idea," Christian shook his head, "and what exactly is it?"

"A new drug appeared on the market not so long ago that should stop the cancer cells reaching other parts of the body," Dr. Jeffries started, "the medication's only in the test faze, but so far the subjects were responding very well to it. It's an antibody substance given through an iv. Unfortunately so far the patients have to pay for the treatment..."

"How expensive is such a treatment?" Christian interrupted.

Dr. Jeffries took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, "alltogether approximately 4500 dollars," he put his glasses back on and sighed deeply, "your mother told me she can't come up with the money for that," he let the sentence hanging in the air and looked at Christian pleadingly, "I already told her it's her only chance. If we don't start with this treatment soon her cancer would spread even further and other organs would be affected."

"What...does that mean?" Christian had difficulties completing the sentence, although he already knew the answer.

"It means she would die," Dr. Jeffries gave the reply.

"And with this substance she has a chance to live?" Christian asked and froze. 

"Her chances stand at 50:50. We can't foresee how the substance works on her. But as I said without this therapy she would certainly die."

Christian nodded, "it doesn't matter how much the treatment costs," Christian said snappily, "I'm standing all costs that could crop up."

Dr. Jeffries nodded pleased, "I was hoping you would say that," he cleared his throat, "even if you had your differences with your mother in the past, now you have a good chance for a new beginning."

Christian swallowed stiffly. Contradictory feelings roared inside him. Gail would live through this. Sarah and Max would not lose their mother. But would Gail keep her promise she just gave him as well? Or she would turn away from him once again afterwards? He knew it was his subconscious fear holding him back again from allowing himself deeper feelings. He thought of Kimber and the baby. It would certainly be nice if his son or daughter would have the chance growing up having a grandmother. Something that he never had and Kimber was the same. He always wished to be part of a family. Why did he feel such uneasiness thinking about it then? Christian looked at the clock, "I have to go now," he said standing up, "if you go see my mother could you let her know I'll stand all the costs of her treatment?"

"Don't you wanna tell her yourself instead?"

Christian shook his head. He couldn't step in front of Gail again now and pretend nothing had happened. Seeing her had torn a lot of old wounds open inside him and he needed some time to think, "tell her I'll visit her again soon."

Dr. Jeffries nodded, "I'll let her know."

Christian left the consultations room and went down with the lift. He went one level lower and along the corridor to Kimber's room. He knew she was waiting curiously what he could report about the meeting with Gail. But he wasn't sure himself how he would rate whole thing. He pressed the door handle down hesitantly and stepped into the room.

"Hey!" Kimber became all beaming when she saw him.

"Hello Sweetheart!" Christian leaned over her and kissed her passionately, "how are you?" He asked concerned.

"I manage. It's just that my stomach feels funny all the time and I don't have an appetite at all, but that is to be expected, "she sighed, "I would like to have a shower or simply get up, but they don't let me. I'm not even allowed to go to the loo unaccompanied! At least they removed the iv previously," she sat up and looked at Christian expectantly, "but let's not talk about me...how was meeting Gail?"

Christian abruptly hung his head. He contemplated what he should tell Kimber about it. But nothing he could say would really come near to reflect reality, "quite good I think," he said uncertainly.

"Quite good?" Kimber lifted her eyebrows. Whenever Christian avoided to answer so, then something happened he didn't want to talk about, "it wasn't going at all the way you imagined, did it?" She asked tentatively. 

Christian stood up and wandered about the room with his hands crossed at his chest, "on the contrary, it did actually," he said pausing already, "it went almost too good..." He didn't complete the sentence and ran his hand through his hair sighing.

"I don't understand..." Kimber looked at him confused, "what did she say?"

"She said she'd really like to be the mother I never had," he managed to curtly put it together.

"But that's wonderful!" Kimber said happily. His tense facial expression agitated her though, "or maybe not?" She asked doubtfully.

Christian looked down and closed his eyes, "I don't know. I only know that I suddenly had the reaction not to want to be in the same room with her anymore," he lifted his head and looked at Kimber with an angst-ridden expression, "isn't it crazy? I would've not wanted anything more the whole time than be a part of her family. And now when she freely offers me the chance I can only think of fleeing..." He turned around and went to the window. He stared out blankly. 

Kimber could almost physically feel his pain. In spite of her state of health she threw the covers back and stood up. She slowly went over to Christian, cuddled him from the back and leaned her head on his back, "I'm sorry!" She whispered, "I was hoping so much you will manage to forget about your differences. But maybe it's just too early."

Christian shook his head while he turned to Kimber slowly, "that's not it," he looked at her seriously, "I have managed alone for over forty years. I don't need a mother anymore," he shook his head, "I thought I could forget about the past. But beforehand I knew that nothing happening in the future can undo the past."

"That is not what it's about at all either," said Kimber quietly, "you must only try to live in the present and accept things more the way they are."

"I am to behave like this in such a way as if everything would be all right? Meet Gail twice a week for coffee and a cake and pretend we're family?" He shook his head nearly imperceptibly, "I do not know whether I can do that."

Kimber lifted her head and looked at him, "if you don't wanna do it for yourself, then do it for Sarah and Max and for..." She paused mid sentence and took his hand and put it on her belly, "and for our baby. It's solely in your hands. You know I never forced you to do anything and I wouldn't start now either. But please think it over once more before you reach a final conclusion!"

Christian nodded mutely. He pulled Kimber into his arms and pressed himself firmly onto her, "you should lie back down again," he said after a while and carefully let her go, "it's time I got to the practice as well."

Kimber nodded, "will you come to see me once more today?" 

Christian nodded, "right after work," he promised. He kissed her ardently, "then till afterwards."

Kimber watched with mixed feeling as he left the hospital room.


	43. Chapter 43

_The McNamara/Troy Practice-sitting room_

"Julia told me you still wanna postpone the wedding," Sean tried to kick start a conversation to fill the silence.

Since Christian came back from the hospital he said nothing and he fled into the sitting room immediately after they finished an operation where he was hiding behind a steaming hot cup of coffee, "Kimber will have to stay in hospital till the weekend and what happens next we'll just have to wait and see," he uttered curtly.

"If she wants she could stay with us, so that she's not alone," Sean suggested, "and in case she feels worse again there would be somebody there who can take care of her. Julia would surely like some company." 

"I don't know whether that's right," Christian said unsurely, "we've troubled you with our problems long enough." 

Sean lifted his head and looked at Christian with a honest expression, "when Julia became pregnant for the third time back then and the doctor detected some complications and ordered her bed rest, that was very probing for her...for all of us," he sighed, "after all that she lost the baby anyway. But maybe it all would've been different if she had a friend she could be with, she could talk to."

"I'll mention it to Kimber and ask her what she thinks about it," Christian nodded.

There was a short pause when both surgeons were thinking.

"How was meeting Gail?" Sean finally blurted out.

Christian rolled his eyes, "why does everybody ask me the same question today?" He asked annoyed. He took a powerful sip from his cup and then put it back down, "are there no other issues out there?"

Sean looked at his friend lifting his eyebrows, "it looks like I touched a delicate point there," he cleared his throat, "out with it...what happened?"

Christian moaned quietly and rubbed his forehead, "listen Sean, I don't wanna talk about it now," he said avoidantly, "I have a snafu night behind me and so far the morning wasn't better either. I had to call everybody and declare the wedding off," he inhaled deeply before continuing, "the priest had told me right away that the earliest date he could give me was at the beginning of September."

"September..." Sean repeated thoughtfully, "Julia will not be all that pleased about that." 

"I know," Christian sighed, "but I can hardly make my wedding depend on when Julia's due," he rolled his eyes, "I however didn't agree to it yet. I must talk with Kimber first."

"Julia wants to go with Sarah to the hospital later on," changed Sean the topic of conversation suddenly, "do you think Gail is ready to tell the truth to her daughter?"

Christian closed his eyes tired. He recalled the conversation with Gail and how she shook him all up. She had opened her soul's most inner pits to him and would probably do the same thing with Sarah, "I think that she is ready for it," he nodded.

"It would be time..." He regarded him with a serious expression, "Sarah told us that her brother wanted to come back this weekend. So there isn't much more time left."

"Sometimes I wish I never met her," Christian muttered deep in thought.

"Who?" Sean asked confused.

"My dear mother," Christian said, "actually my life was going quite all right before I found out my father was a rapist and my mother didn't live far away from me all those years. I thought she was dead for four decades and she suddenly appears and wants to continue where she left off forty-one years ago..." He didn't complete the sentence and groaned quietly, "Kimber would be over the moon if I'd reconcile with Gail, if we'd become a family. Sarah would be a reason why all by herself. The two are like sisters." He looked helplessly to Sean, "can you tell me, what am I to do?"

Sean had calmly listened to Christian. He had feared that a reunification between the two would not go so complicationless. But with such resistance he had not counted, "are you sure that you want to really hear my opinion?" he asked hesitating.

Christian nodded.

"Well all right," Sean stood up and got himself and Christian some additional coffee and set the cups down onto the table, "so..." He started to hesitate, "the way I see it you're still afraid to allow yourself to feel deeper. It has always been your problem. The fear from rejection and disappointment is outsizing everything else, and this fear determined already how your past life went and does it now again. You believe that you are not worthy of love, that you do not deserve to be loved. And therefore you kick people in the head or withdraw from the situation yourself. That is not a solution, Christian! That pushes you sometimes completely into isolation.," Sean pulled a card out from his jacket pocket and passed it on mutely to Christian, "Dr. Richards is a very outstanding psychotherapist specialized in the understanding and processing of childhood traumas. He uses among other things hypnoses."

"You want me to visit a psychiatrist?" Christian said unbelieving while looking at Sean astonished.

Sean nodded, "you don't have to be embarrassed because of needing the help of a psychologist. As I can see you can't manage to undo your chains from the past by yourself and it would be unfairly on Gail or Kimber to additionally weigh them down with this as well." Sean cleared his throat, "only when you manage to work through your past you can try to live in the present."

"You should have studied psychology instead of plastic surgery", Christian said dryly.

Sean ignored Christian's comment, "do you wanna go?"

Christian nodded hesitantly, "I'll think about it," he looked at the clock, "when's the next patient coming?"

"In twenty minutes," Sean enlightened him, "we have enough time left to finish our coffees." 

"Once more about Gail..." Christian started irresolutely, "I decided to accept responsibility for her treatment."

Sean lifted his head surprised, "really? Wow, that is a surprise after what you told me before about your relationship with her. And what's the treatment like?" He inquired curiously.

"There is this new medicine on the market that is to stop cancer cell growth. The medicine is given through iv. The price for it amounts to approx. 4500 dollars." 

"A pompous price!" Sean noted and whistled.

"Yes," Christian nodded, "but it's her only chance. Without this treatment she dies. And even with the treatment her chances are 50:50."

Sean put his hand on Christian's arm encouragingly, "you have to strongly believe she will make it. She's a fighter, just like you," he looked at the clock, "we should get over to the consultations room. The patient would be waiting," he stood up and put his chair back in its place. 

Christian nodded and followed Sean out after that.


	44. Chapter 44

Sarah was very quiet on the way to the hospital and Julia didn't fail to notice it. She was worried about the young girl. Ever since she had found out that her mother was very ill she had enclosed in herself more and more and was looking to be alone. Julia could imagine how probing this whole thing must've been for her, not to know whether her mother would ever be healthy again. And unfortunately nobody could assure her about that, not even Gail herself. Julia cast a scrutinising look over at Sarah who was staring out the window mutely, "would you like me to go in with you or would you like me to wait outside instead?" She asked diffidently.

"Oh yes, could you please come in?" Sarah looked at Julia pleadingly, "I'm afraid..." She then confessed quietly, "I don't know what I should say."

"I know," Julia took a hand away from the steering wheel and put it encouragingly on Sarah's hand, "keep thinking about the fact that no matter what the future brings I'll always be there for you...and Christian and Kimber too," she added quickly as well.

Sarah smiled uneasily, "thanks."

Julia found a parking place in front of the hospital and got out of the car. She smiled at Sarah once more encouragingly before they went to the main entrance of the hospital together. Julia felt Sarah's nervousness as they took the lift upstairs.

"Maybe it's better I don't go in with you actually," Julia said hesitating when they finally stood in front of Gail's hospital room, "maybe it is not quite all right with your Mom." She saw the fear and the pain in Sarah's eyes, and her heart became heavy. "I'll make a suggestion. I'll go in for a short while, greet your Mom, and then you can talk alone with her. Agreed?"

Sarah nodded uncertainly.

Julia knocked on the door briefly before she finally opened the door and stepped into the room, "hello!" She greeted Gail smiling, "I brought you a visitor," she pointed to Sarah who was standing there shifting from a leg onto the other one and hardly dared to lift her head let alone be able to look her mother into the eyes.

"My darling..." Gail sat up and stretched her arms out towards Sarah.

All the tension gave way in the young girl. With tears in the eyes she went toward Gail and took her firmly into her arms. "Oh Mom, why didn't you say anything?" She sobbed.

Gail threw Julia a frightened, questioning look over Sarah's head while she stroke Sarah's hair gently.

"She knows," Julia said quietly, "she wanted to know why you're in hospital and therefore we told her," she cleared her throat, "I'm Julia McNamara by the way," she introduced herself. 

Gail nodded, "yes, I know. Kimber told me Sarah stays with you while I'm..." She didn't complete the sentence and sighed deeply, "I'm so thankful to you that you're taking care of Sarah."

Julia smiled with embarrassment, "with pleasure. Sarah's like a daughter for us. We have a nine year old daughter ourselves and an already grown-up son."

"And as I can see there's another baby on the way," Gail noted smiling.

"Yes, however this baby was no longer planned ", Julia said grinning and stroked her rounded belly.

Sarah sat up and wiped the tears from her face. "Do you know how long do you still have to stay here for?" She asked her mother. 

Gail shook her head while lightly stroking Sarah's face, "no my darling, I don't know. I'm getting a new drug just now. If it works well I could go home pretty soon."

"What should I tell Max?" Sarah asked quietly, "he comes back at he weekend and would surely wonder why there's nobody in the house." 

Gail's smile froze onto her lips. She glanced at Julia looking for help, who nodded reassuringly. "I'll take care of it", she promised her, "we will write a message for Max that says he should contact us."

Gail regarded Julia gratefully. "Sarah, dear, there still is something else about which I would like to talk with you..." She began then hesitating.

Julia saw Gail's telling look and understood time has come to leave mother and daughter alone. Gail finally seemed ready to tell Sarah the truth about her past, "I'll leave you two alone now," she said quietly, "if you're looking for me," she turned to Sarah, "I'll be with Kimber," Julia could still see Gail taking Sarah's hand before she left the room. 

Kimber looked up startled when Julia stepped into her room, "hey, what a surprise! I thought it would be one of those vampires again wanting to take my blood," she rolled her eyes, "with the amount of blood they already harvested from me they could open a blood bank!"

Julia grinned, "I know that. But it's only for the baby's sake."

"Yes, I know," Kimber sighed. She put a hand on her belly, "I read in a booklet that vomiting can be a sign in the pregnancy that the mother rejects her child unconsciously." She lifted her head and regarded Julia sadly, "do you think that I reject my baby unconsciously?"

Julia shook her head. "I had that with my pregnancies too and I hardly know an expectant mother who did not have these complaints. You will see, a few weeks and then can you can fully enjoy the pregnancy", she said encouragingly.

Kimber nodded, "hopefully you're right," she twisted her engagement ring nervously, "I worry about Christian", she said quietly.

"Because of Gail?" Julia asked. "I know that he intended to talk to her. Did he tell you about the discussion?"

Kimber nodded, "he was completely under himself afterwards. I don't exactly know what the two were taking about. But apparently Gail was probably ready to accept him as a son."

Julia looked at her surprised, "I would not have expected that now, but I am pleased for the two!" She reached for Kimber's hand and held it tightly, "you see, I told you correctly that everything will turn out well again. During we talk here Sarah's with her mother and is finding out right now that Christian is her half brother. And then Max will also find out some time, and Gail, Sarah, Max and Christian will become a family!" she said lavishly.

Kimber's head shot up, "oh no!" She said.

"What wrong now?" Julia asked harebrained when she saw Kimber suddenly becoming white.

"Maybe she should've waited a little more before telling Sarah. Christian doesn't want to reconcile at all with his mother!" Kimber said, "there will be no happy end to this..."


	45. Chapter 45

Sarah's been displaying the complete opposite of her behaviour from a few hours ago when they were going to the hospital. She was talking all the way back without pausing, full of enthusiasm and wonderment, so much that Julia had difficulties robbing her of her childlike sounding illusionary world. Kimber's words about Christian's behavior towards Gail had left a bitter aftertaste with Julia. She remembered, how he had suffered back then after Gail had slammed the door shut before his nose. He had buried himself into work, in order to forget. And he had sworn to himself at that time that he never wanted to have anything to do with Gail's family again. She could only suspect, how he felt now, after Gail had pressed him to become a member of the family again.

Julia furtively cast a glance at Sarah, whose cheeks were glowing from voluminous excitement. To find out that the fiancé of her best friend was her half brother had made her properly euphorical. And her biggest desire was now to get to know him in all the right ways. Julia was not sure how much Gail had really told her daughter. She had to try to find out some more about it, which could surely not be difficult because the topic Christian was Sarah's favourite since they had left the hospital.

"I still can't believe it...I'll be an aunt soon!" Sarah said suddenly, "would Kimber and Christian let me take care of the baby sometimes?" She asked and looked at Julia from the side. 

"You should first wait till the baby's born," Julia answered grinning, "but if you would like to baby-sit once, then you could come and do that with our one for sure."

"When's your baby due?" Sarah asked curiously while looking at Julia's belly.

"In September. But I'd think it'll be earlier. Matt and Annie both came earlier than their due dates."

"When I'll get my driving licence I'll surely be able to come more often." 

"How's your mom?" Julia asked to change the subject.

"She'll come home soon," Sarah declared. 

Julia cast her a surprised look. She wondered what Gail had told her about her illness, "your mom comes home soon?" She asked astounded.

Sarah nodded, "she gets some drugs that will make her healthy again," her eyes suddenly started to sparkle, "and I'm so happy I could embrace the whole world! My Mom comes home soon, and Christian and Kimber belong from now on to the family."

Julia felt the knot in her throat constantly betting bigger and bigger. She wasn't convinced about either of the above mentioned things. Even under the most favourable conditions chemotherapy would last months, whereby hospitalisation was limited to a few weeks and served the purpose to supervise the patient at the beginning, "those are... really good news", Julia said pausing. She cleared her throat, "what do you think of the idea of driving past briefly your house and writing Max a message?" She changed the subject.

Sarah nodded with enthusiasm, "that's a good idea. If he comes home he would know immediately where to look for in that case."

"You only have to tell me the way," Julia said.

"Exactly the next street to the left and then always ahead", Sarah gave her instructions, "you cannot miss it at all. It is an enormous house with a large wide veranda."

A couple of minutes later Julia parked directly before the house, "we must hurry a little, because I must still prepare dinner. Sean will be probably be home soon as well", stated Julia.

Sarah nodded. She stepped out the car and went to the front door of the house. 

_Cedars Medical Center_

Gail was surprised when somebody else was knocking on her door again. The doctors didn't normally knock before going in, "yes, come in?" She was looking towards the door full of expectation and curiosity. She was very surprised to see that her visitor was her future daughter in law.

"I'll not bother you for long, but I have to urgently speak with you!" Kimber said while closing the door behind herself quickly.

"You don't disturb me at all. Please sit down!" Gail offered Kimber a seat.

"I'm not allowed to be here at all," she said quietly, "if the nurse from the night shift notices I'm away there'll be trouble. That's why I can't stay for long."

"So they don't allow you to get up?" Gail asked surprised.

Kimber nodded, "but I can't cope with being in bed anymore."

"What are the doctors saying?" Gail enquired.

"Until my blood results get better I get an iv and should stay in bed," Kimber said annoyed, "but I can certainly not stay in bed for nine months!"

"I'm sure that won't be necessary," Gail said calmingly, "however the first three months are a critical time in pregnancy. Hormones play crazy, everything changes and with some women then health problems arise. But that normally eases off after a few weeks."

"You know a lot about it", Kimber said surprised.

Gail smiled, "I'm a midwife. Didn't you know?"

Kimber scrunched her forehead, "no, or...I did. I think Sarah mentioned it once," she said conclusively.

Gail looked at Kimber curiously, "what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Concerning Christian," Kimber blurted out, "I know he was here and talked to you."

Gail nodded and her face took on a sad expression, "I have well frightened him with my confessions," she said quietly.

Kimber shook her head, "it's only because he has to learn first how is it to have a mother. He never had one. And he doesn't know what you expect from him either." 

"I don't expect anything from him," Gail said calmly, "he doesn't have to change for me. I would only like to be there for him if he needs me. It has been his ultimate wish before to be a part of my family. And now I hope I can be a part of his," she sighed, "I can not undo the past, but I wish I still have enough time left to see my grandchild growing up."

Kimber's eyes filled with tears, "my parents are both dead," she said quietly, "and I would like it if our baby would have a grandma."

"And an aunt and a uncle with it," Gail added smiling, "Sarah can not contain herself from joy that she'll be an auntie."

"Did you tell her about the rape?" Kimber threw in.

Gail shook her head, "I believe she doesn't have to know everything. I only told her I was still partly a child myself when I became pregnant and that I decided after that to give the baby up for adoption because I didn't feel old enough to raise a child."

"And she accepted that as an explanation?" Kimber asked surprised.

"Yes, I think so," Gail nodded, "Sarah's only two years older than I was back then when I became pregnant. The thought of an own child seems completely absurd to her. But she's happy to become an aunt." 

Kimber's hands went instinctively to her belly, "yes, but first I have to make it through the next three months," she sighed.

"Everything will be all right," Gail said encouragingly. She hesitated a moment before continuing, "I don't know yet if Christian would be okay with it or not, but if you want I could care for the baby over the next months up to the birth", she suggested.

A hardly perceptible smile played on Kimber's face. Even if Christian was not yet ready to accept Gail as his mother. At least she would have the possibility of participating nevertheless in his life without having an all too large influence.

"I would like that!" Kimber said happily. 

Gail exhaled relieved, "maybe it's a bit too early for this, but..." She cleared her throat, "welcome to the family!"

Overpowered by feelings, Kimber leaned towards Gail and took her hand, "do you still remember what I said the first time we met at the practice?" She looked at her questioningly.

Gail squeezed her eyes together and tried to remember what Kimber had said back then. But her being nervous and that she had entrusted her that she had changed already four times, was all that had remained in her memory about the meeting, "no", she shook her head.

"I said at that time that it would be rather special for us to get to know you particularly as regards to our own children. At that time I did not know how much truth there will be in this sentence."

Gail smiled, "no, I didn't know that either."

Both women looked up shocked when the door suddenly opened and the nurse entered the room.

"Visiting hours are over!" She said calmly, but determined. She looked at Kimber disapprovingly, "you should go back to the ward again before somebody else notices you're not there."

Kimber nodded and stood up. She hesitated one moment before she finally bent down again to Gail and to gave her a parting kiss to her cheek. "I'll come back tomorrow again", she promised her.

Gail leaned back onto her pillows contentedly while a happy smile was playing on her lips.


	46. Chapter 46

_McNamara/Troy consultations room_

**_2 months later_**

Christian scrutinised the patient sitting in front of him critically before he put down the patient's file in front of himself and grabbed for a pencil, "is this a private or a business call?" He asked curtly.

"Business."

"Well now..." He cleared his throat, "tell me what you don't like about yourself Miss... Pollock?" He asked on his offhanded professional voice.

Sarah rolled her eyes, "you should call me Sarah, Dr. Troy!" She overemphasised his name, "I'm only sixteen."

"All right. Tell me what you don't like about yourself, Sarah?" He repeated while avoiding to look at her.

Sarah groaned quietly. She had hoped that Christian would become less inflexible in time, but he persistently went out her way since she had found out that he was her brother. Apparently he was still upset with their mother that she had given him away after he was born. All attempts to unite the two again had so far failed. Although Sarah knew that it would mean a lot for their mother if he would reconcile with her.

"I wanna be a model," she explained, "and I had a job interview with an agency not so long ago. They told me that if I get my ass a little smaller, rid of some of the fat on my belly and my thighs and make my breast a bit bigger, then I could come by again."

Christian's face became serious, "sounds like it wasn't a very respectable agency. Which idiot told you that shit?" He spat it out indignantly, "your figure is like a young girl at your age should have," he shook his head, "you are still growing. Your body will still change. I must unfortunately reject your request for cosmetic surgery," he said categorically.

Sarah jumped up, "do you do that, because you hate my mom and me or why?" Her voice trembled with suppressed rage.

Christian sat there rigidly for one moment and regarded Sarah speechlessly. 

"It is true nevertheless, am I right? You want to get me back for what my mother done to you. Admit it!"

Christian felt his mouth becoming dry, "no, I..." He stammered. 

"Kimber was right. She said it would be easier to mellow a stone than you!"

"So did Kimber send you then?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead.

Sarah shook her head, "no, she has nothing to do with it. On the contrary, she warned me not to," she shrugged, "she would know you better than I do."

"Listen, Sarah, all this has nothing at all to do with you or...your mother," Christian said calmly after he managed to get himself together again, "every half conscientious surgeon would make the same decision."

"My mother?" Sarah's eyes narrowed, "she's your mother too!" She said infuriated, "however it seems to be all the same you. Since she was released from hospital you did not even ask once how she was!"

Christian looked at Sarah surprised. He didn't think this tender young girl had so much inner strength and determination. He cleared his throat, "how is she?"

"That in reality doesn't interest you at all," Sarah stood up and looked Christian straight in the eye, "when my mother told me back then that I had another older brother I was over the moon. But meanwhile I got to regret I got to know you at all!"

Christian closed his eyes and only opened them again when he heard the door closing shot. Sarah had left the consultations room. He massaged his temples moaning. Sarah was right. Since Gail had left the hospital he didn't visit her once, let alone, inquire about her state of health. He knew that Kimber and Gail met regularly. He had accepted champing the bit that Gail took care of Kimber during the time of the pregnancy. And he was also very grateful for it, because the weeks after Kimber's hospitalisation had been very arduous, because she had to lie most of the time still in bed. Fortunately now everything lay behind them for the reason that Kimber had gotten over the critical time and was blooming how she should've been. Her nausea had also disappeared, and she filled up gradually around the waist.

The door to the consultation area opened and Sean suddenly stepped in there. "I'm getting old", he said shaking his head, "I thought back there I have seen Sarah." He sat down beside Christian at the desk and was looking through some documents.

"You're not becoming old," Christian said calmly, "Sarah's just been here."

Sean looked up surprised, "what did she want then?"

"To give me a sermon about my impossible behaviour," Christian said ironically.

"Maybe she wanted to ask if you got a birthday present yet as well," Sean noted off handedly. 

Christian lifted his eyebrows questioningly, "who's birthday is it then?"

"Gail's," Sean answered curtly, "she'd invited Julia and Kimber over for coffee and cake next weekend," he looked at Christian disapprovingly, "tell me how is it possible that you do not even know your own mother's birthday?"

"Perhaps, because I was not invited to this party", answered Christian sarcastically.

"You didn't exactly trouble yourself all that much over the last couple of months to facilitate a good relationship between you two," Sean said reproachfully.

"I had other problems," Christian said rudely.

Sean nodded, "yes, I now, but now Kimber's fine and you could relax a bit. Everything's great with the practice as well. What else do you need?"

"That people leave me alone!" Christian pushed his chair back and stood up, "I'll go check in the waiting room if the new patient arrived yet."

"Nurse Linda can certainly take care of that," Sean said, "if you had some time tonight it would be nice if you two could come over for dinner. We still have to discuss a few things about the wedding," he looked at Christian questioningly, "you finalised the date leaving it the same now didn't you?"

Christian nodded, "I'm thankful the priest had another date free in august. To which Kimber went to try her dress on again and found it didn't fit her anymore," he sighed, "she had to buy a new one."

Sean laughed, "as far as I can remember it was exactly the same with Julia when she was pregnant with Matt. When we got married she was already in the third month, but all her trousers were tight for her. At that time she also bought a wedding dress with some room in it in case she expanded some more."

"When are we supposed to be there with you?" Christian inquired.

"The normal time. Annie'll spend the night at her friend's house. We'll have peace."

Christian nodded and turned to Sarah's patient files, "would you do plastic surgery on a sixteen year old's chest, belly, thighs and bottom?" He asked thoughtfully.

Sean shook his head, "no, not if it isn't medically necessary." 

Christian nodded, "see, I wouldn't either," he stood up and went to the door, "I'll be back in a minute." 

Sean was confused watching him leave the room.


	47. Chapter 47

When Christian stepped into the apartment going home after work he found it in total chaos. Kimber had all her clothing items all over the bed and was in the middle of packing some of it in a huge cardboard box. 

"Could I ask what you're up to?" Christian asked scrunching his forehead.

"I'm sorting things," was Kimber's offhanded answer.

"Sorting...what for? Do you want to move out?" He asked irritated.

Kimber started grinning, "sometime, but not right now. I'm only packing the stuff away now that had become too tight for me."

"I don't understand," Christian scratched his head contemplatively, "what do you mean by moving out some time?"

Kimber turned slowly towards him, "when we'll be three it will be impossible for us to stay here," she said.

"But I love this apartment!" Christian insisted, "it has its own charm, is exclusively furnished and is not too far from practice." He shook his head, "if there's room for two, why then not also for three?"

"It is completely unsuitable to bring up a baby in it!" She said decided. She went to into the living room, took a newspaper with house ads from the table and shoved it into his hand. "Here, I already marked what would possibly be suitable for us."

Christian stared at the circled ads uncomprehending, "you want a house with a pool and a garden?" He asked unbelieving. For a moment he felt reminded of the time when Gina lived together with him in the apartment. Back then when she was pregnant with Wilbur/Gabriel. Apparently it was normal for pregnant women to criticise everything around them.

Kimber nodded while she continued with sorting her clothes, "I made an appointment with a broker. We could..."

"Whose idea was that?" Christian interrupted her blether.

"What do you mean?" Kimber looked at him questioningly.

"That couldn't have just popped out of your head", he answered offensively, "so far the apartment was ever so good enough for you. And will always be better, than that scoop out in which you were with... " He paused abruptly. Probable it was not particularly tactful to start about Alicia now, "which you have used before", he completed the sentence.

"Just take however Sean and Julia", said Kimber. "He bought the house for themselves right after the wedding, the house, where their children were then born to and grew up."

"And you want something like that now as well?" Christian asked irresolutely.

Kimber nodded.

Christian ran his fingers through his hair sighing, "that's a quite glaring change." He cleared his throat, "until one year ago I did not even think about the fact that I would marry at all, let alone become a father. I was actually completely content with my existence as single. And now you expect that I give it all up and get pulled into a house with a garden?" He shook his head. "I am not the type for it."

"Then stay single!" Kimber turned demonstratively away and packed another stack of clothes into the cardboard with sharp movements, which she locked then with tape.

Christian stepped to her sighing and put his arms around her, "but I don't want to at all! Except we could make all the right steps one after each other. First get married, then have the baby, and we can still think about moving into another house at that point."

Kimber had become rigid when he put his arms around her, but when he began to caress her neck with his lips she gave resistance up. She turned to him and pulled his head down to herself, while she pressed her body closer to him. "Sleep with me!" She said breathlessly while she covered his face with kisses.

Christian lifted his head and regarded her with some doubt, "are you sure that we should do that already?"

Kimber nodded and pressed her lips to his mouth again while undoing the buttons of his shirt hastily. They haven't slept with each other for over two months-doctor's orders-and her body was longing for his so intensely that it already hurt. She knew that Christian was exactly the same. She felt it from his ever more passionate becoming kisses. She also felt however that he was slightly wavering when he pushed her, after he had taken her clothes off, carefully to the bed.

With one movement of his hand Christian swept the items of clothing off the bed and pulled Kimber closer to himself. Fascinated he regarded her changed body for one moment. Her breasts were fuller, her hips rounder and her belly was no longer as flat, as it had been just a few weeks ago. He bent over her and covered her belly with tender kisses.

A familiar shiver went through Kimber's body when his lips continued on their way. He turned her halfway to the side and she locked her legs around him. An indescribable feeling of blessing overcame her when he finally penetrated her. Although it had not been the first time they had sex during her pregnancy, this time it was nevertheless rather special.

"I do hope that you won't end up having problems again now," Christian said breathing heavily, while he put his hand on Kimber's belly.

She shook her head, "it's okay. Gail said I could have sex without worrying now that the critical time is over."

Christian lifted his head and looked at her crossly, "you talk to Gail about things like that?"

"She's my midwife. Besides she's your mother. Why are you acting as if you were that prudish all of a sudden?"

Christian let himself sunk back again onto the pillow. He did not know exactly himself why the fact that Kimber spoke with Gail about his sex life disturbed him, "perhaps you also asked her in which position we are to do it", he said sarcastically.

Kimber looked at him irritated, "what's wrong? Why did you become so scrubby out of the blue?" 

Christian half sat up and regarded her disapprovingly. "Gail knows everything about our love life, but I do not even know when her birthday is!" He said.

Kimber shook her head vehemently, "she doesn't know everything about us. And about her birthday..." Kimber paused a little before continuing, "I didn't know you'd be interested," she said shrugging.

"Of course it interests me!" Christian threw the cover back and jumped out of bed, "it interests me the same way if my sister wants to jeopardize her health going under unnecessary plastic surgery!" She said matter-of-factly.

Kimber sat up as well and pulled the blanket higher up, "oh, Sarah's seen you already?"

"Don't tell me now you additionally encouraged her with this nonsense," he said uncomprehending.

Kimber shook her head. "I only said that she is to go to you, if she thinks about getting something done," she smiled, "you are the best one after all. You put me together after the abduction again perfectly, better even than I was before."

Christian was looking at her dumbfounded, "yes, but apparently I have cut out an important part of your brain, the one responsible for logical thinking!" he said sarcastically. "How can you advise Sarah to go under the knife?" He asked shaking his head. "She is only 16! If she begins now, she will need cosmetic surgery again and again." He sighed. "I remember this patient... Mrs. Grubman who was obsessed with cosmetic surgery. And finally she ended up a cripple right from the operations table!" She shook his head in disagreement, "I do not want Sarah also ending up like that !"

"Okay." Kimber put both hands defensively up into the air. "I understood. You do not need to be insulting."

Christian nodded, "good, then that would be clarified." His gaze fell onto the alarm clock. "Shit!" he groaned.

"What is it?"

"I promised Sean we'll go over for dinner." 

"You simply make arrangements without asking me?" Kimber regarded him reproachfully.

"You nevertheless do as well", answered Christian, "or it is not true that you arranged to meet Gail next weekend?"

Kimber groaned innerly. Christian was currently in war with everything and everyone, and he was provoking her where ever he only could, "all right," she sighed and rose from the bed. Her gaze fell onto the floor, where her clothes lay distributed everywhere. "I want to see whether I can still find some suitable clothes for me in this mess."

Christian nodded, "and while you search, I'll hit the shower." He opened the wardrobe, took out a clean shirt and trousers and disappeared around the corner with them.


	48. Chapter 48

Christian felt his heart beating in his throat when he stepped out of his car and put the couple of steps till Gail's house behind him. He walked up to the veranda and looked in the living room window. He saw Gail in the middle of setting the table for her birthday get-together that afternoon. Christian's hands were quite clammy because of him being nervous and he started to fumble with the flowers he held in his hand. What should he say to her after the long time they had not seen each other for? Christian had convinced himself he was doing this only for Kimber's sake who's relationship with Gail became closer and closer over the last weeks. He knew how hard it was for Kimber to grow up without her parents and he understood why she was trying to establish a bond with Gail's family now. But there was something else as well that incessantly occupied Christian since Sarah had visited him at the practice. The concern that she would possibly end up in the hands of some charlatans, who performed unprofessional illegal cosmetic surgery. After he had rejected her request this was quite possible. And there were sufficient dubious physicians, who did not have scruples to do anything for money. This way it was also the concern about Sarah a bit that had driven him to Gail. Christian knocked on the door and waited tensely for someone to open it.

Gail opened the door and froze immediately, "Christian..." She said surprised.

Christian forced a smile, "hey," he said quietly, "I heard it's your birthday," he cleared his throat nervously and handed her the bouquet of flowers, "all the best!"

Gail took the flowers off him benumbed, "this is a...surprise," she stammered, "come on in!"

He stepped into the living room hesitating somewhat and looked around, "I came a little early not to disrupt the party," he said and smiled awkwardly.

"That's really very considerate," Gail placed the flowers into a vase, "it will be however no party. Sarah's away with the school on a field trip and will only return next week and Max preferred to study with a friend for an exam." She sighed. "Only Julia and Kimber are coming this afternoon. But Kimber surely told you that."

Christian nodded, "how are you?" He enquired.

"So far well. I had my last chemo treatment the day before yesterday." She lifted her head and regarded Christian thoughtfully, "I did not thank you yet at all properly for the fact that you took over the costs of the treatment." She put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a kiss to the cheek, "thanks!"

Automatically Christian's hand went to the place where Gail had kissed him, "that was natural", he said uncomfortably.

"No, it wasn't," Gail shook her head, "it's all but that," she let out a sigh, "it's actually me who would have to set things right, but at the moment it's happening more like the other way round."

"You're taking care of Kimber," Christian threw in, "so we don't owe each other anything." 

Gail's smile disappeared, "I understand," she turned away quickly when she felt tears in her eyes. Christian's cold words hurt her. But she would show no weaknesses.

"Everything all right?" Christian asked and looked at her scrunching his forehead.

Gail nodded, "I advised Kimber to start with her pregnancy exercises soon if possible," she said finally, "now starts the time when the baby senses more and more of the outer world and the first bond between mother and child develops. Starting from next month she will probably hardly have time for it because of the wedding preparations."

Christian nodded, "I understand what you mean. But it's not the first time we're planning our wedding. We have quite a lot of experience with it," he said ironically.

"I would still like her to deal with the pregnancy and the changes resulting from it intensively over the next few weeks. The first months were not simple, neither for Kimber nor for the baby."

"For me either", Christian sighed.

"I know," a smile appeared on Gail's face, "but everything will be all right now."

Christian rolled his eyes, "we thought about all sorts of horror scenarios lately, everything that could go wrong-from sudden loss of consciousness to premature birth."

Gail shook her head, "not in the fifth month," she said, "it's very rare and normally something would be wrong before that as well." 

"I'm not speaking about Kimber, but Julia! Her due date is exactly four weeks after our wedding."

"You worry too much," Gail said, "even if something like that would happen...there will be enough doctors present. And I can take care of it too," she smiled, "at the moment nothing indicates premature birth. We just have to wait and see." 

Christian suddenly remembered the actual reason for his visit, "there's something I want to talk to you about," he started hesitantly.

"That sounds serious. What is it about?" Gail asked apprehensively.

"Sarah's seen me at the practice not so long ago," Christian said diffidently.

"What did she want there?" Gail asked confused.

Christian took a deep breath, "I had the feeling you didn't know anything about it," he said slowly, "Sarah asked me to carry out some cosmetic procedures on her," he finally completed the sentence.

Gail looked at him alarmed, "Sarah is nevertheless still a child! I do not understand, why she thinks that she needs such a thing."

"She told me she wanted to be a model. Do you know anything about that?"

Gail nodded, "yes, she hasn't been speaking about much else over the last few days. I didn't think much of it because Sarah comes up with crazy ideas often. Mostly she'll forget about them after another few days."

Christian looked at Gail with a serious face, "this field trip..." He started vacillating, "what did Sarah say about it?"

"Not much. They went to Fort Lauderdale to see some kind of excavation sites. Why do you ask?"

Christian froze. His fears seemed to be confirmed. He knew that there was a large hospital for cosmetic surgery in Fort Lauderdale. And he also knew that in this hospital surgical procedures were done as if on a factory assembly-line and the physicians there also had no scruples to operate on persons under age. His mouth became suddenly dry, "do you know whether she took money off from her account?"

Gail shook her head. A bad feeling engulfed her, "why are you asking all these questions?" She asked suspiciously.

"I'm not sure," he said slowly, "and I hope I'm mistaking..." He let the sentence hang in the air.

"Oh my God!" Gail said, "do you think she went to Fort Lauderdale to get an operation done?!"

Christian nodded, "as I said I hope I'm mistaking. But everything points to that," his gaze fell onto the photo on the fire place showing Sarah, "could I borrow this?" He asked.

Gail nodded while fighting with tears, "my little girl..." She said on a choked voice.

Christian put his hand encouragingly on Gail's shoulder. "I will find her," he said, "I promise!" He took the picture off the fire place and left the house.


	49. Chapter 49

"I'm really grateful you're coming with me," Christian told Sean while driving on the freeway.

"It's all right. I care a lot about Sarah's well-being too. If she really went to this clinic to get surgeries done, you will need some help," he looked at Christian sceptically from the side, "it's Saturday. Are you sure they are open there today at all?"

Christian nodded, "I asked. They are always open, from Mondays to Saturdays, except Sundays of course."

Sean whistled quietly, "sounds like a lot of money and a good amount of stress."

"I hope you don't contemplate bringing in new opening times at our practice," Christian said and glanced at Sean from the side quickly.

"No worries," Sean said grinning, "Julia always accuses me anyway of being married to my work."

"By the way Julia...how's she?" 

"Everything's great. We went for an ultrasound a couple of days ago again and everything goes as it should be," Sean let our a sigh, "but Julia's already fed up with her condition. The big belly, the back ache, the swollen ankles, every movement is difficult...the last weeks are the worst. But you'll find out about it too."

"Thanks, I already had the pleasure," Christian said dryly.

"Oh yes, that's right," Sean tiled his head, "you mean Gina's pregnancy?"

Christian nodded, "but let's not talk about Gina. It all belongs to the past," he looked at Sean curiously from the side, "do you know yet what it is?"

Sean nodded, "a girl. But you can never be certain. But I believe my eyes more than a blood test." 

"No wonder after what you had to go through with them," Christian answered. He cleared his throat, "do you think she can make it in one piece till September?"

Sean lifted his eyebrows questioningly, "are you talking about your wedding?" 

Christian nodded, "I might sound a bit out of place, but Kimber and me, we would like to have a quiet normal wedding without any disturbances. If you understand, what I mean?"

Sean began to grin, "shouldn't you think perhaps about taking Gina off the guest list again."

"Very funny Sean!" Christian cast his friend a reproachful look, "that could be true though."

"I know, I'm sorry," Sean said discomfited.

"It's all right," Christian grinned awkwardly.

"Look ahead there!" Sean pointed suddenly to a big wall poster at the roadside, on which there were three life size half naked, athletic young women. Over their heads it read in golden type characters: "center for plastic and cosmetic surgery, Fort Lauderdale."

"Wow!" It escaped Christian, "they really know how to advertise. Maybe we should think some more about doing a little marketing."

"Only those use such means who need it," Sean said warily.

"I think not", Christian shook his head. "I looked at on internet site myself. Really very impressing. They offer even a "weekend full service package" for 6000 dollars including a breast transformation, lipo and an appointment for subsequent treatment."

Sean scrunched his forehead, "that seems to really fascinate you."

Christian took a deep breath, "well yes, I think, right now when cosmetic surgery gains ever more meaning, one should not rule out any innovations and improvements."

"You can not compare a large supermarket not with a small newspaper agent," Sean said shaking his head.

"Cute comparison," Christian said grinning, "but to stay in the game people have to change at times."

Sean cleared his throat, "I believe you forgot why we're here."

Christian shook his head, "could you please open the glove compartment," he asked Sean.

Sean did and took the photo of Sarah out, "what do you want with it?" He asked surprised.

"I only wanted to have a safe go, in case she registered under another name," Christian explained, "we show the picture then simply everywhere around. Somebody will perhaps recognize her."

Sean nodded. He felt, how Christian's nervousness started to slowly affect him too. At first he had dismissed Christian's reaction as exaggerated, but he came to gradually share his concern.

"There it is in front!" Christian drove to the parking area of the clinic and killed the engine, "so then let's go into the mouth of the lion!" He took another deep breath before he jumped out the car and went over to the main building.

"You can't mix it up with McNamara/Troy, can you?" Sean said having difficulties following Christian.

Christian shook his head, "comparing to this our practice's more like a dog hut," he retorted dryly.

"Did you tell Kimber at all where we went?" Sean asked curiously. 

"Are you crazy!" Christian shook his head, "I'll not risk any miscarriages! Sarah's grown very close to her heart. She would've probably insisted on coming too."

"Did you think about what else we should do if we don't find her here? This is not the only plastic surgery practice in Fort Lauderdale," Sean made him consider, "and who says at all that she didn't lie to Gail and then she would be in a completely another state..." 

"Stop it Sean! You really know how to make people worry," Christian frowned, "I promised Gail I would find Sarah. And I'll find her, no matter how long it takes," he said decidedly.

"Okay," Sean sighed deeply, "could you think about how you want to convince her then to come home. If she came this far, she would certainly not give up by own accord." 

"Shut up and come on!"

Sean nodded. After a last glance at the large wall poster that highlighted the front of the building he followed Christian into the entrance hall.


	50. Chapter 50

_Cosmetic And Plastic Surgery Centre_

"Hello!" Christian greeted the woman behind the receptionist in a friendly manner and smiled. "I am Dr. Troy and this is my colleague Dr. McNamara. We are established plastic surgeons from Miami. We would like to speak to one of the attending physicians here."

The woman looked up from her computer she was typing into hectically, "do you have an appointment?" She asked curtly.

"No," Christian shook his head.

"Then I'm sorry," the woman said apologetically, "all the doctors are busy at the moment. I can give you the telephone numbers of their secretaries, so that you can agree upon an appointment with them," she handed Sean a small card with the names and telephone numbers of the surgeons working on the premises.

Christian und Sean exchanged an eloquent look. Apparently it was difficult to make contact with the gentlemen directly. Everything was ran by the secretaries.

"Do the patients make their appointments here as well?" Sean inquired and put the business card he was given away.

The woman nodded, "my colleague and me, we make the appointments," she corrected him.

"And how quickly is it possible to get an appointment?" Christian asked.

"It depends on what's getting done. Patients cancel appointments all the time and we fill those then at short notice again."

"However without previous consultation by one of the physicians no surgical procedures are made, or are they?"

The woman nodded, "no, that happens too. Mostly it would be about simple liposuctions or the administration of Botox shots," she pointed down the corridor, "there in the back you can find the waiting area for the patients who want to wait for an operation."

Sean looked at Christian with a serious face and shook his head slightly, "is there a minimum age? I mean how old the patients have to be to be treated?"

"There is no minimum age", explained the lady.

"So anybody can come in and get a liposuction done without being seen previously?" Sean asked unbelieving. 

The woman nodded, "the procedure doesn't take longer than ten to fifteen minutes. The patients go into a sort of control room afterwards and if no further problems arise they can go home." 

Christian felt how the veins on his head began to gorge out. He was alarmed by how this hospital played down procedures. Liposuction particularly, could carry the risk of a pulmonary embolism without appropriate treatment, thrombosis or collapse of the whole circulation, "would the patients be told about the risks of such treatments?" He asked uncomprehending.

"Of course," she nodded, "but most of them don't get frightened away by them."

Sean cast a glance at Christian. He understood what was going on inside him. He was also petrified by the indifferent attitude of the physicians.

Christian's mouth became dry and his breathing sped up. The thought that Sarah was maybe really in danger here if she let herself being operated on was choking him. A horror scenario appeared in his mind, that she was lying in such a control room after the procedure and she was fighting for her life.

Sean took the photo of Sarah out and showed it to the receptionist, "we're looking for this young girl. Her name's Sarah Pollock and she's sixteen years old. We think she came here to get an operation. Have you ever seen her before?"

The woman took the photo into her hands and looked at it lifting her eyebrows, "very pretty," she finally said and gave the photo back to Sean, "do you have any idea how many young girls show up here every day to have their noses changed or their bottoms lifted?" She shook her head apologetically, "I'm sorry, I can not help you."

"And do you have an entry on your computer under the name Sarah Pollock?" Sean didn't let himself being shaken off.

The woman turned to the computer sighing and typed in a few characters, "nothing," she said then conclusively. She scrunched her forehead, "is the young woman a patient of yours?" She asked curiously.

Christian shook his head, "she's my sister," he said with a more intense sounding voice.

The receptionist lifted her eyebrows surprised, "it's none of my business, but..." She cleared her throat, "why didn't she go to you to have the operation?" 

Instead of an answer Christian turned to Sean, "I'll wait outside..." He went towards the exit with quick steps. 

Sean was too perplexed to be able to react immediately, "thank you very much for the information," he thanked the receptionist and smiled uneasily, "you really helped us." 

"It's my job," she smiled.

Sean nodded once more towards her and then hurried after Christian. He was worried about his friend. He had seen Christian's bleach face before he rushed out the hall.

Christian was sitting in the car with his eyes closed and breathing heavily. Tears broke through his closed eyelids. He could not get the picture out of his head that Sarah was lying dead on a grubby operations table. He realised the car door closed shut and a hand appeared encouragingly on his shoulder.

"Everything's my fault Sean," he stammered, choking with tears, "if I would've taken her desire more seriously, then her life wouldn't be in danger now."

Sean looked at him shocked, "what are you talking about? It's not even sure she was here at all. Don't go crazy on me now already!" 

Christian wiped his tears away from his face and looked at Sean, "thank you that you wanna make it easier for me, but you have to admit every piece of the puzzle fits together," he said quietly.

Sean shook his head, "nothing's sure till we speak to one of the doctors," he pulled out the business card, "we go home now, sleep over it and then call them on Monday first thing and get an appointment with one of the surgeons." 

"It could be too late by then," Christian said loosing his voice.

"Try to think about it a bit rationally now please!" Sean said reproachfully, "Sarah wanted more than a liposuction. You told me she also wanted to have her breasts enlarged. Such things don't happen without a preceding consultation. Which means she has to see one of the physicians face to face. Only after that would an appointment for the operation be set up," he took a deep breath before he continued, "at the entrance there's sign hanging up saying that on Saturday procedures are only carried out till 2 o'clock in the afternoon." He looked at the clock, "it is half 2. Today not much else will happen here and they are closed tomorrow, "let us go home!" Sean said quickly, "for the moment we can not achieve anything here anyway."

Christian nodded mutely. He turned on the engine and drove off.


	51. Chapter 51

Kimber noticed right away something was wrong when Christian came home in the evening. He looked worn out and was fairly monosyllabic. He avoided her questions or answered them only reluctantly. But Kimber did not relent. As he sat down onto the bed she climbed behind him and began to massage the tense muscles in his shoulders and neck with gentle circling movements.

"Well", sighed Christian, "do not stop that."

"Only if you tell me what's wrong with you," Kimber tried to look into his face peeping past his shoulder. But he turned away.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," he said avoidantly, "it was a stressful day."

"Where were you?" Kimber did not relent, "as far as I know the practice is closed on Saturdays."

Christian tensed again immediately, "is this now some kinda interrogation or what?" He asked and shook hers hands indignantly off himself.

Kimber slipped down from the bed and stood before him, "I know that you seen Gail. She told me." She bent down towards him critically, "did something happen there, about what you would not like to talk?"

Christian let the air out his lungs slowly. Apparently Gail hadn't told Kimber anything about the fears that Sarah had possibly went to Fort Lauderdale to this plastic surgery clinic. He shook his head, "nothing happened. Gail and I were just talking about the progress she made with her chemotherapy." 

"Is that all?" Kimber asked misbelieving. 

Christian nodded.

"You don't have to lie to me just to protect me," Kimber said.

Christian looked at her surprised, "who says I'm lying to you?"

"We know each other too long to be able to deceive the other. Don't you think?"

Christian sighed deeply, "could be, but it's really nothing."

"Julia called earlier and asked me if I knew where Sean was. I told her I didn't even know where you were," he crossed her arms in front of her chest and tried to look deep inside him, "I'm asking you for the last time...where were you?"

He remained in debt with the answer to Kimber when suddenly the telephone began to ring. Christian was as the first at the phone and lifted the receiver. Scrunching his forehead he listened to the words of his conversation partner.

Kimber didn't let him out of her sight the whole time. But from his curt answers she couldn't derive anything that could enlighten her further. Who was the mysterious caller and what did they want?

Christian put the receiver down and forced a smile, "I must go to the practice again," he kissed Kimber's cheek fickly, "I could be late. You do not need to wait up for me."

"But what..." She couldn't say anymore because Christian had already left the apartment. Kimber hesitated one short moment before grabbing for her car keys and also left he apartment behind him. She waited till he got into his car and then she drove off as well. It was curiosity propelling her forward. She knew that Christian would lose it if he noticed her following him. But it was all the same to her at the moment. She knew he was hiding something from her and she wanted to know what it was. She quickly realised Christian didn't take the road towards the practice. So he really meant to lie to her. She followed him at a safe distance. She knew that her hunch that it all had to do with Gail somehow didn't deceive her when Christian turned into the road leading to her house. Why did he meet Gail in secret? And why was she not to find out about it? Kimber parked the car at the edge of the road a few meters away from the house and waited until Christian turned the corner before she stepped out. She found it a little absurd when she went slowly over to the house, as if she was planning some crime. She entered the veranda carefully and looked in the living room window. She noticed the shape suddenly emerging behind her too late. Frightened she yelled when a hand appeared on her shoulder.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Christian spluttered angrily at her, "do you imagine I didn't notice you following me."

"I...I wanted..." Kimber stopped. The whole situation was awkward for her, but she didn't know either what she should say as her defence, "why did you lie to me?"

"Because it's between me and Gail and it doesn't concern you at all," Christian sighed, "but if you're here already..." He let the sentence hang in the air and knocked on the door instead.

"Thank you for coming right away," Gail looked at Kimber surprised when she saw her, "why did you bring her?" She asked.

"I followed him," Kimber explained and smiled uneasily.

"All right, then come in."

Kimber sat down on the sofa and was looking from one to the other expectantly, "what is it about then? Don't make it so instigating!"

"Christian thinks Sarah didn't go on a field trip at all, but went to Fort Lauderdale to get an operation done," Gail revealed.

"There's a plastic surgery clinic there," Christian added.

"Just a minute, do I understand it right? You think Sarah's field trip was just an excuse so she could got to the clinic to have surgery?" Kimber asked uncomprehending.

Christian nodded, "after I rejected her wish to operate her it would follow quite naturally," he said.

Kimber shook her head, "I could believe anything, but not that. Did you try to reach her?"

"She turned her cell off and so far she didn't call either," Gail justified.

"I went to this clinic with Sean today to find out if she made an appointment there," Christian sighed, "but unfortunately we couldn't find out. We'll call again on Monday and talk to a doctor. Maybe we'll drive down again."

"Then I'm coming with you!" Kimber said decidedly, "but maybe she'll call before that."

Christian sighed. He knew he couldn't persuade Kimber not to accompany him. He stood up, "if there's something new, please let us know," he said to Gail. 

She nodded, "don't be angry with him he didn't tell you about this. He didn't want to cause you unnecessary worry," she said to Kimber.

"It's all right," Kimber smiled. She gave Gail a kiss onto the cheek, "I'm sure it'll all be okay," she opened the door and followed Christian out.


	52. Chapter 52

_Two days later_

Cosmetic And Plastic Surgery Centre

Sarah stepped into the entrance hall timidly and looked around. Her hands were quite clammy from the nerviness as she went to the reception, "good morning! I read your ad in a newspaper," she said with a trembling voice, "it said you perform procedures without having to speak to a doctor beforehand."

"Do you want a liposuction?" The woman at the reception didn't even look up from her computer once.

Sarah nodded, "when can I have an appointment then?"

The woman looked up, "if you only want a liposuction you can wait for it. Do you have the money with you?"

"Yes," Sarah took out her purse, "the ad talked about 1800 dollars or so."

The woman nodded, "all right. Then you only need to fill this form out," she shoved Sarah a set of papers above the receptionist desk.

Sarah took a pen and began. She came to a hold for a split second, when she got to the section with the complications of the procedure, "is it dangerous?" She asked fearfully.

The woman smiled with her obligatory beam, "don't worry about it. That is the same as it is with the leaflet you get with any medication. All the side effects must be specified there. But only a very small percentage of the patients has any of side effects that are indicated there. There were so far no cases with serious complications."

Sarah nodded disconcerted. She almost already regretted coming here. But she was too deeply caught up already with the thing. She had deceived her mother and Max and had simply secretly taken her whole savings off the account. Money that she should actually use for her studies. But Sarah's dream was now to once become a model. Even if her mother would never understand that. And she would do everything so that her dream comes true.

"When you're finished with that, you can wait in one of the rooms in the back," the receptionist said. She looked at the clock, "it's only eight o'clock. Normally the surgeons would start working at ten. Maybe you have something else to see to? Then I'll get the registration done, and you can come back later."

Sarah shook her head while she returned the form to the lady. "I do not have a car. I came with the taxi."

"I understand," the woman nodded, "now then sit down in the waiting room till then. There are some newspapers there that could make the waiting time seem shorter."

"Thanks," Sarah smiled tormented and turned around to go into the waiting room. 

The woman was about to set Sarah's patient files to the side when her gaze wandered to the name on them. She suddenly remembered the two gentlemen who were there at the weekend and asked after the young girl. She found the business card that one of the doctors left behind at the end and started to dial the number.

_Christian's apartment _

Christian reluctantly opened his eyes when the phone rang next to him. He half sat up and grabbed after the receiver still completely benumbed, "yes," he muttered sleepily.

"Christian? It's Sean. I just got a call from the woman at the clinic in Fort Lauderdale. She told me a young girl with the name of Sarah Pollock just registered herself for a liposuction there. So swing your legs over the edge of the bed and come to the practice! I'm waiting for you there."

Christian was awake all of a sudden, "I'm coming!" He threw the receiver to the side in a slapdash fashion and jumped out of bed.

"Who was that?" Kimber murmured tiredly.

Christian froze for a moment and sighed. He hoped she wasn't awake. But now it was too late and he didn't wanna lie to her again, "Sean. Our fears were unfortunately justified. Sarah's at this clinic."

"Oh no..." Kimber sat up abruptly, "I'll wash myself quickly and get dressed so we can go."

"I can take care of it just as good with Sean," Christian tried to get round it.

Kimber looked at him incredulously, "it'd better if I come. Sarah at least trusts me."

"You mean she doesn't trust me?" Christian asked exasperated.

"You did not really pull off a good relationship with her," she answered shrugging, "and after you rejected her request to operate, her opinion about you did not exactly improve." She rolled her eyes and reached for her bathrobe, "believe me, if somebody can persuade her to come home then I am that."

Christian nodded sighing. He knew Kimber was right. He really didn't behave like a brother would. Quite the opposite, he avoided her and her problems. She would've never needed to go to this clinic if he would've taken her concerns and desires more seriously.

Kimber guessed what was going on inside him, "it's not your fault," she said encouragingly, "in your situation I would've probably also refused operating my own sister."

"That does not have anything to do with Sarah", Christian shook his head, "it's about the principle. I am simply against the fact that one should already perform cosmetic surgery on 16 year olds. That is unnecessary and wrong! And I cannot understand that there are surgeons who support this illusion", he said.

"Why didn't you explain Sarah the same way you just did to me? I think she would have perhaps even understood."

Christian shook his head, "you said nevertheless yourself that she's possessed by the idea to become a model. Nobody and nothing will be able to hold her back from adapting her appearance according to the needs of the advertisement industry." He looked at the clock, "we should hurry. Sean's waiting at practice for us already."

"Do you think we should let Gail know?"

Christian shook his head, "I don't want to worry her unnecessarily. We go to this clinic first and then we'll see what's next."

Kimber stood up and got herself a few clean clothes from the wardrobe, "let's hope we won't be too late," she cast Christian another worried look before she disappeared in the bathroom.


	53. Chapter 53

_Cosmetic And Plastic Surgery Centre_

Sarah became more and more anxious as the time approached she was going to be called. She had partially read all magazines that had been laid out in the waiting area, and the waiting game and uncertainty was going on her nerves. She asked herself whether the procedure would be painful, whether she would get a general anaesthetic and how long it would take until everything could be back to normal. It was exactly this uncertainty that made her become ever more tense. Perhaps it had been a mistake nevertheless to come here. Sarah was still completely deep in thought when the door opened and a lady in her forties entered the waiting area.

"Miss Pollock?" She addressed Sarah, "you're the next then. Would you please follow me?"

Sarah rose rigidly.

"I am nurse Claire. I will get you ready for the operation," the lady explained in a friendly manner.

"Will it...will it hurt?" Sarah asked fearfully.

Nurse Claire shook her head, "you get a local aesthetic. Then a small cut is made and the catheter is introduced so that the fatty tissue can first be liquefied and then sucked out. You do not feel anything at all."

"That's good. I'm quite sensitive to pain," he looked around, "where can I get undressed?"

"Right there in the back," the nurse pointed to a side room, "I'll wait for you."

Sarah went into the room and closed the door over. Tiredly she leaned against it. She closed her eyes and suddenly felt something salty on her lips. She had not felt so lonely and helpless for a long time. Everything in her revolted to go out there in order to undergo this procedure. The most diverse feelings raged in her body. It was not only the thought of the procedure that worried her, it was also the bad conscience that she had in relation to her mother and Max and the thought, how should she explain to them that she had spent her whole savings on the perfect body.

"Are you ready?" Nurse Claire slowly became impatient.

Sarah wiped her tears off her face energetically and hurried to put on the surgery gown. Whatever doubts she till had, it was too late now. She had decided this way and had to bring it to an end now. She gathered all her courage and opened the door, "yes," she nodded, "I'm ready now."

_On the freeway_

"Couldn't you drive a little faster?" Christian urged Sean.

"I'm almost driving at the limits of the car," Sean answered irately, "if I drive any faster the police will be behind us." 

"We're taking my car the next time", said Christian and looked nervously at the clock, "we lost too much time."

"We're almost there. You see, there's the sign already indicating the hospital. From here there is only a few meters", said Sean reassuring, "have you actually got a plan?"

"What do you mean by plan?" Christian regarded his friend scrunching his forehead.

"Just the way I said it. She went to this clinic to get an operation done. She will surely not leave by own accord."

"That's why we have Kimber," Christian cast a glance to the back seat above his shoulder where Kimber was sleeping peacefully, "if we manage to wake her up."

Sean shook his head, "I didn't take your suspicions seriously at first. I didn't think Sarah was really capable of simply running off and putting herself under such a drastic procedure. I'm sorry!"

Christian looked at him surprised, "you shouldn't be sorry for that. I'm sorry I wasn't mistaking," he let out a sigh, "I have no idea how should I explain this to Gail. Somehow I feel responsible for the whole situation as well."

"You're not and Gail knows that too. Sarah had the inclination to become a model long before she knew her half brother is a plastic surgeon. Kimber told us. So you're not to blame."

Sean turned off at the parking lot of the clinic and stopped, "maybe you should gently wake her up now," he said to Christian meaning Kimber.

"Not necessary. I was only dozing," Kimber got out the car on wobbly legs and straightened up moaning, "I'm quite dizzy," she cast Sean a reproachful glance, "you have a terrible way of driving, Sean! How can Julia take this?"

"She mostly drives her own car," he explained and grinned.

"No time for disputes," Christian said determined, "we have no time to lose!" He went ahead and left the other two simply standing there.

"Can you?" Sean asked who noticed how pale Kimber was.

She nodded, "it's always worse if I sit in the back in the car." She smiled tormented, "a little fresh air, and then it will be all right again."

Christian stepped into the hall of the clinic and went straight to the reception, "Dr. Troy. You called my colleague and told him Sarah Pollock was waiting here at the clinic for a procedure," he said hastily.

The woman nodded, "she was sitting in the waiting room for almost two hours, but she was taken in by a nurse a quarter of an hour ago."

Christian suddenly had the feeling as if an ice cold hand would've been grabbing after him, "does that mean we came too late?" He asked with a blank voice.

The woman nodded regrettingly, "it seems unfortunately so. I'm very sorry. But if our patients gave their written agreement, there is hardly another possibility of preventing the procedure."

"What happened?" Sean saw immediately from Christian's tormented facial expression that something must have happened.

"We're too late..." He muttered, "Sarah's already in the operating room."

Kimber let out an indescribable cry and held herself up by the receptionist desk.

"Where's the operating room?" Sean asked. 

"You can't go in there during an operation," the receptionist said resolutely.

"We want to wait for her," Christian explained, "so where can the family members of the patients wait?"

"Go to the end of the corridor and then the second door to the right. There's the control room where they monitor the patients after surgery. You can wait there. At the moment it's empty. The operating room is right across from it." 

"Thanks," Sean forced a smile. He pulled Christian by the arm with himself, "you go with Kimber into the control room over there", he said quietly to Christian when they were going down the hall, "and I try to get into the operating room." 

Christian twitched, "wait a minute Sean, she is my sister, not yours!"

Sean nodded, "true, but you're too emotional. You will muddle up everything."

Kimber nodded, "where I must admit he's exceptionally , just this once right", she sighed.

Christian put his hands on his hips and looked at the two reproachfully, "that's great, is that a conspiracy against me?"

"We have no time for pointless discussions," Sean opened the door to the control room and let the other two in, "watch him so he doesn't act daft," he whispered to Kimber too.

She grinned, "no worries. I'll watch out for him." She became serious again. "Good luck, Sean!"

He nodded and then left the room.


	54. Chapter 54

Sean stepped into the anteroom of the operating theatre, where the physicians usually made themselves ready for the operation and reached for a gown that hung over a chair. Nobody should accuse to him that he entered the OR in inadequate clothes. He had not had time to think about a plan since a move was required right away. Sean hoped imploringly that he didn't come too late yet. When he opened the door of the operating theatre his gaze fell onto Sarah immediately who was lying on the operating table unmoving with her upper body exposed. All the attention was focussed immediately on him.

"Hey, you there! What are you doing in my operating room?" The physician said furiously while he put his scalpel to the side.

"What have you done with her?" Sean didn't let himself get intimidated by the aggressive stance of the physician. He pointed to Sarah, who was obviously completely trashed. 

"Nurse Claire, call security!" The physician ordered while he scrutinized Sean further with some look that promised of nothing good.

"Wait a minute, let us speak reasonably with one another!" Sean said and lifted both arms up defensively, "I am neither armed nor I'm intending to attack anybody."

"What do you want then?" The physician slowly became impatient.

"Simply to talk to you," Sean said calmly.

"Talk?" The surgeon looked at him confused, "you storm into my operations room, interrupt a procedure and state, you only want to talk?" He shook his head, "for consultation appointments my secretary is in charge", he said coolly.

Sean cleared his throat nervously. The whole situation appeared to him simply just grotesque. He imagined how he would possibly react, if somebody would step in his OR without being asked to do so and then he would claim he wanted to talk only. A difficult situation, "listen Dr..."

"Garcia," the surgeon introduced himself.

"Dr. Garcia, I'm Sean McNamara, plastic surgeon from Miami and I..." He stopped when he heard a quiet moan coming from the operating table. He ignored Dr. Garcia and leaned over Sarah, "Sarah, can you hear me? It's me Sean," he said urgently.

"Sean..." stammered Sarah. Her eyelids began to flutter, but to open her eyes she was obviously missing the strength.

"Do you know the patient?" Dr. Garcia asked amazed.

Sean nodded, "that's the reason I'm here. She's still a minor. She's here without the consent of her parents."

Dr. Garcia cast an irritated look at nurse Claire, "you didn't check that out beforehand?" He asked reproachfully.

"She filled in the form saying she was sixteen and she doesn't need any consent of her parents," the nurse said.

Sean felt himself starting to shake and that wasn't just because of the warm sticky air in the OR. He knew that law permitted Sarah to use her own signature when she reached 16. He was considering feverishly how he could still prevent the operation. "She lied to you!" He said, "she is only 14. She made herself older, because she wanted these operations at all cost," he cleared his throat again. "I do not need to tell you what it means if you operate on the patient against the wishes of her parents." Sean regarded Dr. Garcia with a knowing look.

Dr. Garcia hesitated for a moment. Undecided he looked from the patient to Sean and back, "end the anaesthesia!" He finally said sighing to nurse Claire and turned then back to Sean again, "why do I have the feeling that you do not do this completely unselfishly? What does it matter to you?"

"I am plastic surgeon, as I already mentioned. And we physicians should stick together, right?" He winked at Dr. Garcia.

Nurse Claire removed the respiration tube and patted Sarah carefully on the cheeks, "can you hear me Miss?"

Quiet moaning was the answer.

"She'll be benumbed for a while yet. We had to deepen the anaesthesia with tranquillisers because she was simply too fidgety on the operations table ", stated nurse Claire. 

"Otherwise is she all right?" Sean asked anxiously.

Dr. Garcia nodded, "we were just about to start when you strolled in here."

Sean exhaled relieved, "I'll take her to the control room then," he helped Sarah sit up, but she sagged right away together again. Without hesitating he lifted her up in his arms and carried her to the exit. 

"I'll bring her clothes shortly", called sister Claire after him.

Sean opened the door of the control room and set Sarah down on one of the couches.

"What's with her?" Kimber hurried straight to Sarah's side and leaned anxiously over her.

"She's in a sort of light sleep ", explained Sean. "no reason for concern. They gave her a tranquilliser to keep her still for the procedure with it."

Christian clenched his fists. "I would gladly state my opinion of these so called surgeons and what I think about their methods" He said furiously.

"Let it lie!" Sean put his hand on Christian's arm benevolently, "it went better, than I thought." He blew some air out slowly, "I really thought at the beginning they'll set security on me. But with diplomacy one gets ahead better than with brute force."

Christian went over to Sarah and stared down at her with his arms crossed in front of his chest, "did they tell you what they gave her and how long will it be till she wakes up again?"

Sean shook his head, "you know yourself how long it takes till the patient comes round completely after the anaesthesia," she shrugged, "one of two hours perhaps."

Christian rubbed his forehead sighing, "then we can prepare ourselves for a joyous morning. Let's make sure the beer's cold!" He said ironically.

Sean grinned, "I saw a kiosk around the entrance area. I do not believe however that they sell beer there."

"I'll see if they have Coca Cola," Kimber went to the door, "when Sarah wakes up she'll maybe be thirsty."

"Or she'll immediately be sick on our feet," Christian noted dryly.

Kimber cast him an irritated glance before she left the room.

Sean looked at Christian contemptuously, "do me a favour", he asked him, "don't shout at her and don't criticise her right after she wakes up. She went through enough and will surely need a while to work through what happened to her."

"She should be tied together at the knees and that tied to her back!" It burst out from Christian, "how can she do such crap! Did she think only for one moment about her family?"

"Did you always think of your family when you merged yourself deep in shit?" Sean argued back."

"I do not have a family", answered Christian curtly.

Sean looked at him uncomprehending, "and what's with Kimber, your baby, us..." He paused, "that you can't accept Gail and Sarah as family I even understand. But what's with Julia and me, Annie, Matt...? We are not your family? We always thought, we would be it."

"Shit!" Christian groaned and hid his face behind his hands, "I'm sorry Sean! I am not disposed for deep discussions for the moment," he lifted his head and looked into Sean's eyes, "of course you are my family! Without you I would not be what I am. I owe you so much. And who knows, where I would be today if you had not always saved me in difficult situations."

Sean smiled, "that applies however to you exactly the same as well."

"Then we would be even." Christian smiled broadly.

They both looked up startled when the door opened and Kimber stepped into the room, "you'll probably not believe me, but I got it!" 

"What?" The two men asked at the same time. 

"Beer!" She held the two bottles up smiling.

Sean looked at Christian helplessly.

"And who's driving now? Do we toss a coin?"

"I'll drive!" Kimber said gallantly and smiled.

"Well then..." Christian grabbed a bottle and lifted it up towards Sean, "to family!"


	55. Chapter 55

After a couple more hours of waiting Sarah still wasn't completely awake.

"Man, what on earth did they give her?" Christian shook his head.

Sean scratched his head thoughtfully, "you know yourself nobody can tell exactly how the patient will react to anaesthesia. It seems that the dose must've been a little too high."

Christian rolled his eyes, "and what are we doing now? Wait a couple more hours?" He asked aggravated.

Sean shook his head, "I think we should go," he said decided, "we'll take her to our place first so that she can sleep on there. We can't take her to Gail in her present condition."

Kimber nodded and stood up too, "I'm voting for going as well. We can care for her much better at home."

Christian nodded sighing, "do you think that she is otherwise okay?" He turned asking Sean.

He glanced at Sarah and nodded, "she seems a bit disoriented, but that's something I've seen happening a lot after anaesthesia."

"Well all right, then let's go," Christian opened the door to let Sean through as he was carrying Sarah. When they reached the car Christian helped Sarah in and then sat next to her.

"Are you okay back there?" Sean enquired and slid onto the passenger seat.

Christian nodded, "I'll shout if there's something," he said grinning. He pointed to Kimber, "you better take care she's not landing us in the next ditch," he told Sean.

"It is proven that women are much better drivers than men", she snapped back, "the less aggressively you drive, the more prudently and cause less serious accidents. So lean back and relax, Christian!"

Sean could only hide his grin with some difficulty, "everybody has seatbelts on? Can we go?"

Christian nodded. He let Sarah rest her head on his shoulder and be covered by her long blonde hair.

Kimber stole a glace back and smiled. She was happy that Christian finally permitted more proximity. Perhaps there would nevertheless be a happy end.

The journey went without considerable complications. Only approx. forty five minutes later Kimber stopped before Sean and Julia's house.

"My Goodness, what's happened with Sarah?" Julia asked taken aback when she saw in what state the young girl was in.

"That's why we brought her here first," Sean said and helped Christian drag Sarah out the car.

"There wasn't much time left to let you know," Kimber said to Julia, "Sarah was in Fort Lauderdale to get an operation done there."

"I don't understand anything," Julia said confused looking from one to the other, "but come in first. You can explain everything to me inside," she pointed to the corridor, "would be best taking her directly into the guest room. There she can sleep it out there."

Sean nodded and disappeared with Sarah in his arms in the guest room.

"Okay, and now you can tell me what happened," she turned to Christian who was standing hesitantly in the door frame.

"Sarah visited me at the practice a week ago and insisted I should perform surgery on her," Christian started with his story, "of course I refused. First of all she is still too young for surgical procedures and secondly I never operate on family members."

Kimber looked up surprised, "but you did operate on me back then," she threw in.

"That was different," Christian said harshly.

"And why?" Kimber didn't let it lie.

"Your surgery is not the matter of discussion here," he said curtly.

Kimber crossed her arms in front of her chest, "admit at least that you were afraid," she said.

Julia was looking from one to the other, "stop arguing!" She said determinedly, "Christian must've had his reasons for not performing surgery on Sarah."

"I bet!" Kimber pressed her lips together.

"You're making me responsible for what happened?" His face became stony, "you wanna be so honest all the time. Then disclose that you think I'm the only one to blame!"

"Yes...no...ah, I don't know either," Kimber ran her fingers through her hair moaning, "I'm tired Christian. And actually I'd just like to get home." 

Christian's anger went up in smoke immediately, "are you all right? Should I take you to the doctor or to the hospital right away?"

"Your concern is moving," Kimber said smiling, "however am I well. I am only tired. The day was nevertheless rather exciting and demanding."

"I am an idiot. I'm sorry!" He said contritely, "I was only thinking about myself. With the fact I know nevertheless that you must still take care of yourself," he turned to Julia, "could you ask Sean whether he can take us to the practice. There's my car."

"I'm here already," Sean stepped into the living room and grabbed his car keys, "Sarah's still sleeping. It's best she stays with us for the night. I'll call Gail and tell her so she's not too worried."

"I can do that," Christian explained.

"All right," Sean nodded. He looked at Kimber who was only managing to suppress a yawn with difficulty, "we're going now," he turned to Julia and gave her a kiss onto her cheek, "I'll be right back. If there's something you can reach me on my cell."

Julia nodded, "take your time. I'll be fine."

Sean opened the door and left the house together with Christian and Kimber.


	56. Chapter 56

Kimber and Christian hardly stepped into the apartment, she already started to get undressed. She was observed by Christian with curiosity.

"Should I help you with it perhaps?" He asked and grinned impishly, "then it will certainly go faster."

"Of that I am convinced." Kimber laughed. But immediately thereafter she became serious again, "didn't you want to call Gail and let her know?"

Christian nodded, "that I wanted, but to be honest I don't know if it is a good idea. At the moment I can only tell her that Sarah had still not fully regained consciousness. Apart from that she will probably be shocked that Sarah really wanted to have an operation done."

"But if you don't tell her anything at all she'll be suspicious ", Kimber wanted him to consider, "Gail is not stupid. She knows that you wanted to look for Sarah. And perhaps it is better, if she hears it from you and not from someone else."

"I'll go there later," Christian answered decided, "one settles such things better directly and not on the phone." He regarded Kimber with a sharp look, "can you get along for a while without me?"

"Why would I not?" She asked surprised, "I'm a big girl now," she laughed.

"I only thought because you didn't feel so well earlier," he said uncertainly, "I don't wanna leave you alone when you're not well."

Kimber went up to him and put her hands around his neck, "you can be really sweat sometimes, Christian Troy!" She said laughing, "there's a soft core under every hard shell."

"All pure computation. I know nevertheless, what women want to hear." He grinned and pulled her closer to himself, "and you know how to get men do what you want."

Kimber freed herself from his arms carefully, "that wasn't my intention at all," she said saucily and went to direction bathroom. She let the remainder of her underwear fall carelessly to the ground and stepped into the shower.

Christian stood for one moment irresolutely in the bedroom and watched fascinated as Kimber took out her hairclip and her blond hair flooded her shoulders. The sight excited him and he had to get a grip not to do anything inconsiderate. Kimber needed peace after the stressful day and not more excitement and completely surely she had no desire at this moment having a quickie under the shower.

Kimber felt being watched and although she didn't have in mind to entice him, she instinctively sent those signals out. She held her breath for one moment when she saw Christian similarly naked. She felt his proximity already, before he had at all touched her, "would you wash my back?" She asked, while she cast him a sensual look over the shoulder.

Christian hesitated. Although he was still struggling to keep a certain distance, he felt that his arousal constantly grew at the sight of her exposed body, "are you sure that you want that?" He asked with a hoarse voice.

Kimber nodded. She felt her skin tingling slightly when Christian distributed the showering gel evenly over her back. Her body began to shake from the suppressed passion and her pulse accelerated. Automatically she pressed her body closer to him.

Christian groaned, "what are you doing there?" He panted. His breathing became heavy and he had difficulties restraining himself. Everything in him urged him to fully feel her body.

Kimber closed her eyes and started to moan with excitement when he put his soapy hands on her breasts and belly sliding down to her thighs. She turned around and put her arms around his neck. While her fingers dug in his hair, her lips looked greedily for his mouth.

Christian pressed Kimber against the transparent showering wall, while his hands slid again and again over her slippery body, until she was covered with soap from top to bottom.

"Maybe we should...the bed..." She said gasping.

Christian understood immediately what Kimber meant with her suggestion. The shower was indeed a little uncomfortable to carry out an act of love. Regardless that their bodies were covered with soap, they left the shower holding each other and let themselves fall onto the large bed where they continued their love play, until they climbed the highest summit of desire together.

While Christian was in the middle of getting himself together after the act, Kimber suddenly started to giggle nonsensically.

Christian turned his head to the side and looked at her irritated, "what's so funny?"

"Just look at what a mess we made," she said grinning. She turned to the side and put her hand into the puddle of water and soap which was between them slashing it all over again, "I hope you still have another duvet cover?" She asked grinning.

Christian rolled his eyes, "perhaps we should think about the acquisition of a bath tub."

"But it should be two meters long if you wanna be comfortable in it," Kimber laughed, "and I can hardly believe that we can still accommodate such a mammoth anywhere. We hardly know already where we are to set up the baby bed."

Christian straightened up and cast a glance at the clock, "shit, I nevertheless wanted to see Gail", he said sighing. He bent down to Kimber and kissed her tenderly, "if I hurry I can still maybe manage it."

"Should I maybe go with you anyway?" Kimber also stood up.

Christian shook his head, "you stay here and rest."

Kimber lifted her eyebrows annoyed, "rest? What for? I haven't been so relaxed for a long time."

Christian laughed. "if it's like that, we should do this more frequently," he became serious again, "I'll shower off quickly. I'll be right back." 

"Should I come with you?" There was impishness flashing in Kimber's eyes, "I could wash your back," she laughed softly.

Christian grabbed her chin and locked her lips with a sensual kiss, "you little witch!" He said then smiling, "wait till I'm back again. Then I'll revenge myself." 

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Kimber asked grinning.

"As you wish," Christian smiled broadly. He took some clean clothes from the cabinet and went thereby back into the bathroom.


	57. Chapter 57

When Sarah woke up from her sedation she first didn't know at all where she was. It seemed to be night time already because the moon was visible from the window. Sarah tried to sit up, but a little dizziness spell forced her back into the horizontal position. She heard voices coming from another room and she recognized surprised they were the voices of Julia and Sean. Thus she was probably with the McNamaras in the house, she concluded. She could not remember however at all, how she had come here. All memories seemed to be hidden behind a secure smoke screen. The last thing Sarah could remember was that she had lain on the operation table in the hospital in Fort Lauderdale and was waiting for her liposuction. What could had happened?

She reached for the lamp on the night stand, but her movements were well too hasty, so that instead of switching the light on she pushed the lamp off the table. A loud bang followed by a clanking sound was to be heard when the lamp shattered to pieces. Sarah sat up frightened and put her hand before her mouth to suppress a yell. She heard steps coming closer and the door opened. A few seconds later the room was lit and Sean and Julia was staring at the broken lamp in front of them.

"Sarah, you're awake!" Julia called out surprised.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Sarah stammered. She tried to get out of bed to pick up the pieces, but Sean held her back.

"Just stay there!" He ordered her, "I would like to examine you briefly first before you get up." He looked to the ground, "we'll clear the pieces of broken glass away in a minute."

"How... how did I get here?" Sarah felt that she still had trouble with articulation.

"We brought you here," Sean explained curtly in the middle of gathering the glass off the floor, "can't you remember at all?"

Sarah shook her head, "I still know they gave me an injection, but what happened afterwards, I can't remember," she looked at Sean questioningly, "how long did I sleep for?"

"Ten hours. We were really worried. Normally it doesn't take that long for the patient to wake up from anaesthesia."

"Ten hours?!" Sarah looked at Sean horrified.

He nodded, "how are you feeling now?" He asked anxiously and took her pulse.

"I don't know...tired...out of shape...a bit headachy," Sarah detailed.

"That can still be the after-effect of the anaesthesia", confirmed Sean. He turned to Julia, "could you bring me my stethoscope? It's in the study."

Julia nodded and left the room to get what she was asked to.

"How did you find me?" Sarah felt quite completely miserably having the thought that Sean and Julia knew what she'd almost done.

"You have to thank Christian for the fact that we found you so quickly", stated Sean with a serious face, "when he heard about your alleged field trip to Fort Lauderdale he took it as a danger signal. He suspected right away that you went there to get an operation done," Sean let out a sigh, "you could have died!" he said with emphasis, "such a procedure is not as harmless as they wanted to make it out for you," he shook his head, "that was very irresponsible, Sarah!"

"I...I...but I only wanted..." Sarah broke into tears, "I hate my body and I wanted to be so beautiful as Kimber is and all the other models!" She looked at Sean through her tears, "I couldn't take looking at my reflection in the mirror anymore," she said, "I already tied so many different kinds of diets, but nothing helps. I stay fat and that's it! And after Christian refused to perform the surgery, I had to find another way..."

Sean flinched shocked. He wasn't aware of how much Sarah suffered because of the way she looked. He looked at the young girl more closely. He didn't find Sarah too fat. She wasn't indeed not so willowy as the models in the magazines, but she had a slim figure with some roundedness which quite suited her whole appearance. No reason thus to diet or weigh herself up. Sean recognized that Sarah's problem was not physical but rather of mental nature. He was relieved, when Julia entered the room again and brought his stethoscope, "could you pull up your shirt so that I can have a listen?" He turned to Sarah.

Sarah pulled her shirt up and looked at her tummy despondently, "they didn't do anything, did they?"

Sean shook his head, "we got there right in time."

Sarah pulled her shirt back down after Sean was finished with his examination, "then everything was in vain... " She lost her voice and she turned and dug her head into the  
pillow. Seeing her body shake Sean recognized that she was crying.

Julia pulled her man out silently by the arm and closed the door quietly, "what have you done with her?" She asked reproachfully when they were in the living room again.

Sean let himself drop to the sofa sighing, "I didn't do anything at all," he defended himself, "Sarah's got a problem, a very serious one even. She hates her body. And to look like models do, she is ready to risk her health."

Julia regarded him concerned, "and what do you want to do now?"

"I'll have to talk to Gail. She has to know what's going on in Sarah. They both need to learn to be more honest and open with each other. Gail hid from her kids how ill she really was for a long time. And it was almost too late then. And Sarah had probably not talked about her own concerns out of consideration for her mother's health," he sighed deeply, "sixteen is a difficult age and young girls are particularly at risk constructing the wrong picture about the world."

"You should've become a psychologist," Julia said bemused.

Sean laughed, "Christian told me the same not so long ago," he stood up, "as always-I hope Christian's talking to Gail. It is also important for them to get to know each other better. I saw Christian's expression when it became certain that Sarah went to this clinic to have an operation done. He's more worried about his sister than he's letting on. Blood is nevertheless thicker than water."

"When do you want to take her to Gail?"

"I don't know yet," Sean said hesitating, "I'll leave that up to Sarah," he looked at Julia, "you don't mind if she stays another day or two?" He enquired.

"If you ask me we could even adopt her and she stays with us forever," Julia said laughing, "I mean it Sean. She can stay as long as she wants." 

"Good," Sean nodded, "it will not come easy for her to go back to her mother and explain to her what she had in mind."

Julia went over to Sean and put her arms around his neck, "my hero!" She said laughing, "hopefully Christian knows how to appreciate your commitment."

"If not, I will remind him of it in time," Sean said grinning, "Sarah grew very much to my heart", he said then with a serious face. "I would help her really gladly so that her dream comes true anyway."

Julia lifted her head and looked at him surprised, "her dream to become a model?"

"No," Sean shook his head, "Sarah's foremost dream is a reconciliation between her mother and her brother."

A smiled flashed over Julia's face, "I didn't know you could be so relentless." 

"No?" He smiled at her, "you do not seem to know a lot about me."

"Then let us begin to get to know each other better right away," Julia put an arm around Sean's waist, and they went together over into the bedroom.


	58. Chapter 58

Gail was surprised to see Christian standing in front of her door. She already made herself ready for bed and only put a simple bathrobe on her pyjamas, "I wasn't thinking someone would visit at this time," she said to appologise for her outfit.

"It's all right," Christian smiled embarrassed, "I could've called, but I thought it would be better to tell you in person." 

"What's wrong?" Gail pulled the belt of her bathrobe tighter and looked at Christian worried, "something with Kimber?"

"No," he shook his head, "everything's all right with Kimber," he paused a little before continuing, "it's about Sarah..."

Gail felt a sudden weakness overpowering her. She held herself up by the doorframe looking for support, "what...what's with her?" She managed to utter with difficulty.

"We should maybe go into the house," Christian suggested. He didn't let Gail out of his sight in the meantime. The way she looked he feared she could faint any moment.

"Yes...yes, of course," Gail went to a chair tediously and let herself drop into it.

"We found Sarah in Fort Lauderdale," Christian said scarcely, while he was likewise looking for a seat.

"Is she...did she?" Gail stopped. She found it impossible to voice her fears. The worry over her only daughter was choking her.

Christian leaned forward and put a hand encouragingly on Gail's arm after a short hesitation, "she's all right. We found her right in time with Sean. But as we supposed she was really at this clinic to get an operation done."

"Oh my God..." Tears appeared in Gail's eyes, "my little Sarah," she stammered. 

Christian took a deep breath, "she's not as little anymore as you think. She's sixteen-not a child anymore, but not a woman yet either," he hung his head, "when she came to me it was like a cry for help. I didn't realise that at the time," he said self consciously, "I was to busy with my own side of the story."

"I'm very thankful for everything you did for Sarah and me," Gail said quietly, "I didn't think we'll be able to communicate with each other as normal...after all that's happened."

Christian cleared his throat. He always felt uncomfortable if Gail came to speak about the past. "Sarah is with Sean and Julia", he changed the subject quickly, "we thought, it would be better, if she sleeps for the one night elsewhere. She needs a little time to think about some things." 

Gail nodded. "I must probably accept that my small girl trusts me no more at all." She let out a deep sigh, "how could she run away like that!" She shook her head.

"But it ends well," Christian said encouragingly, "and I don't think she'll take off again to get herself an operation. I'd imagine the shock was big enough."

"That it had to come this far..." Gail hung her head miserable, "I always wished Sarah will take a different road from me. She should've finished school, study and then maybe meet a man some day and have children."

"Her dream now is to become a model one day," Christian threw in, "maybe you can find some compromise," he suggested, "Sarah first finishes school and if she's still interested in modelling afterwards, she can still go to an agency. I'm sure Kimber would help her finding the right agency."

A smile flashed over Gail's face, "that's a good idea. I'll ask Sarah what she thinks about it." 

Christian looked at his watch, "it's getting late. I'll go now," he stood up and went to the door.

"Christian!" Gail also stood up and went to him.

"Yes?" He looked at her curiously.

"Thanks!"

Christian leaned down to Gail and gave her a kiss onto the cheek as a good bye before he left the house and sat into his car.

He could hardly wait to share the good news with Kimber, but when he stepped into their apartment he found it in complete darkness. The curtains were pulled in the bedroom and Kimber lay in bed and slept completely peacefully. She looked simply mesmerising in her scarce thin nighties that had slipped up to her thighs and revealed more of her body than they veiled. Christian suppressed the desire to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. Instead he knelt down before the bed and stroke her cheek tenderly.

Kimber opened her eyes immediately, "Christian..." She muttered and smiled softly, "I did want to wait up for you, but I fell asleep," she apologised. 

"It's okay," he whispered. "you need peace." 

Kimber nodded, "how was it with Gail?"

"Should we not talk about it tomorrow instead if you're that tired?" 

Kimber sat up, "I'm not that tired, or let's just say I'm simply too curious to wait till tomorrow," she said grinning.

"Well all right," Christian sat down next to Kimber on the edge of the bed, "it went better than I thought. For one moment I thought that she would fall and faint, but then again she got herself together."

"I can imagine that", nodded Kimber, "such news would be shocking for me too."

"I suggested something to her," Christian continued, "Sarah should finish school first and then start with the modelling maybe later if she's still interested in it," he looked at Kimber curiously, "how old were you when you started modelling?"

"Seventeen, only one year older than Sarah's now," Kimber explained, "but I was actually too young back then. At that age you're only used and exploited," she pulled a stray hair lock away from her face, "you have to be ready for everything in this business if you wanna survive there."

"With ready for everything you mean going to bed with older men?" Christian asked hesitating.

Kimber nodded, "yes...that too," she vacillated, "I think Sarah doesn't know what she's getting into. She only sees the perfectly styled models in the advertisements, on posters and in fashion magazines. She does not know, how hard the job is and how many tears you waste on it."

"Why don't you talk completely openly with her about it? Perhaps she listens to you and decides against it."

"Yes, perhaps I should really do that. But I'll be honest. If I didn't become pregnant I would've continued with the job of modelling myself, the same one I just complained about in such a way." She smiled all of a sudden. "I would not have met you if I had not been a model at that time. To that extent the job gave me, indirectly, a new life too."

Christian bent down to Kimber and kissed her forehead gently, "you'd better sleep now," he stood up.

Kimber looked at him surprised, "you're not coming to bed yet then?"

He shook his head, "I'll call Sean and Julia to see if Sarah woke up from sedation yet. You understand, don't you?"

"Admit it, you're only afraid that I could entice you ", said Kimber grinning.

Christian laughed, "you have me," he put his arm around Kimber's neck and gave her a tender kiss, "no, seriously", he said then, "I cannot sleep peacefully, if I do not know whether she's well or not. In addition I promised Gail that I will continue to take care of Sarah."

Kimber stroked him on the cheek smiling, "hurry up with the phone call. I'll wait up for you." 

Christian nodded, straightened up and left the bedroom.


	59. Chapter 59

The two more days Sarah spent in the McNamara house went in a blur. Christian had declared himself ready to take Sarah home. Saying good bye obviously felt difficult for her. She used the time to think about some things. Meanwhile she came to regret her impulsive behaviour deeply and she had promised Sean and Julia that she would never do such stupidities again. She had also taken Christian's suggestion to finish school first positively. Julia had offered her to work as a babysitter so that she could replenish her pocket money. To replace the funds in the account that she had taken for the cosmetic operation she wanted to continue saving, so that she could finance her studies thereby just in any case. Sarah had tears in her eyes when parting from Sean and Julia, "I know it is not saying good bye for ever, but I will really miss you, Mister and Misses McNamara!"

Julia had her eyes wet as well when she squeezed Sarah to herself slightly, "don't you think it's time you call us Sean and Julia?" She asked smiling.

Sarah nodded, "yes, that's much better," she acknowledged.

"And don't forget what I told you," Julia continued, "you're welcome here any time!" She put a hand on her round belly, "and when our baby will be here I hope you'll visit us regularly."

Sarah nodded keeping her head down. Her eyes were filling with tears again.

"We're not in the middle of nowhere after all, Sarah," Sean said encouragingly, "we'll see each other at the wedding in four weeks' time the most."

"I'll still have to make quite a lot of preparations for that as well," Sarah said eagerly. "Kimber asked me whether I want to be her bride's maid."

"That is very nice", smiled Julia, "and I think that Kimber can use some help now as well."

"Can we go then?" Christian asked and cleared his throat. He kept back discretely the whole time not to disturb the good bye ceremony.

"I'm ready now," Sarah nodded. She grabbed her bag hesitantly and looked up at Christian nervously, "you talked to my mom, haven't you?" 

"He nodded, "she knows everything."

"What did she say?" Sarah asked tentatively.

"Well, she was of course not pleased, but actually she was very understanding," Christian said calmly, "she was very worried and she was disappointed you lied to her."

Sarah hung her head troubled, "I didn't want to cause her having to worry even more", she said wretchedly, "she has already gone through enough in the last months."

"But you have as well," Christian asked her to consider, "not to know whether your own mother will die or not is not easy to put up with."

Sarah looked at him surprised, "you say that as if you felt it the same way."

Christian swallowed rigidly. He felt Julia's curious look on himself, "a bit like that," he finally admitted.

Julia cast Sean a knowing look, who was smiling quietly to himself. She knew what he was thinking without him having to say a word. It seemed as if Christian would have finally opened up and allowed his feelings to surface. It had taken a long time, but finally the ice had melted. Nothing stood in the way of a reconciliation anymore.

"Then we'll see each other at the practice!" Sean called after Christian as he left the house with Sarah.

She was afraid her mother will hold her a sermon as punishment, but instead Gail took her daughter firmly into her arms and stroke her long blonde hair gently, "promise me that you will never do such a thing again", she said quietly.

Sarah nodded. She swallowed her surfacing tears courageously and nestled in more closely to her mother, "never again", she promised. 

Christian felt a little out of place. He had never experienced motherly love and affection, and he watched the scene between Gail and Sarah with a bizarre feeling of jealousy, "I'll get on my way again then and leave you alone," he said and smiled tormented.

Gail freed herself from Sarah's arms immediately, "on the contrary, please stay!" She said quickly, "maybe you'd like to have dinner with us?" She cast a quick glance at Sarah, "we would be happy if you'd join us."

Sarah nodded eagerly, "oh yes, please, Christian, stay for a while more!" She begged him.

A smile flashed over Christian's face, "if you're asking me so nicely, I could hardly refuse," he sat down at the sumptuously set table and waited, until Sarah and Gail had taken their places as well, "you know, you are not the only ones who hold on to the tradition of having dinner together," Christian said suddenly. The whole situation reminded him automatically of his get-togethers with Julia, Sean, Matt and Annie. These dinners, which took place every few months in the McNamara house, already had a ritual status. Julia and Sean had accepted him who had never had his own family, affectionately into their circle. But now, as it seemed, Christian had found a new home.

Christian let his gaze wander from Gail to Sarah and back. It has been a long journey to find his own identity, but at this moment when he was sitting together at the table with his mother and sister he felt that his search was over. 

"Kimber asked me if I would help her find a new wedding dress," Sarah threw in, "you don't have anything against, do you?"

Christian shook his head, "why would I?" He asked surprised.

"Great!" Sarah's whole face lit up, "then I can buy my new bride's maid dress as well at the same time. I'm so excited already!"

Gail laughed, "people could think you're the bride. But I hope you'll take your time with that one," she winked at Sarah.

Sarah smiled, "no worries. I'll finish school first and then..." She hesitated briefly and cast Christian a glance. "...and then we'll see," she completed the sentence.

"But I thought you wanted to leave school to become a model," Gail said surprised.

"I talked about this issue with Sarah very much in detail," Christian put his oar in now into the discussion as well, "and she agreed that she'll finish school first."

"That's..." Gail was speechless for a moment, "that's wonderful news," she grabbed Sarah's hand over the table and after a short hesitation she leaned towards Christian as well the same way and took his hand too, "I never believed in miracles before, but at the moment I think it's a miracle I can sit here with you two," she said jubilating, "I'm thankful to destiny for bringing my family together again. This is more than I ever dreamed of. And now," she said quietly and smiled around, "let's take pleasure in our family dinner together. Enjoy your meal!"


	60. Chapter 60

**_Four weeks later_**

"It's particularly nice of Christian that he offered up the apartment for you for your bridesmaids party," Sarah said and put a plate with Canape onto the living room table. She heard some quiet swearing from the other room and looked around the corner. "Kimber, is everything all right?"

"No, nothing is all right at all!" Kimber stood jerking strangely right before the mirror in the bedroom and pulled her rear zip of her dress around fretfully, "I should've perhaps selected something more comfortable for this day!"

Sarah giggled quietly, "wait, I'll help you," with an experienced hand she pulled the zip upwards and regarded Kimber then admiringly. "Wow, you look simply upsettingly beautiful!"

Kimber turned to the mirror and examined herself critically. The pearl coloured, simple dress that reached her knees had a tight outline and an uninterrupted zip in the back, filled with pearls, "you think?" She turned to see her profile in the mirror and stroke over the gentle roundness of her belly. "I should've perhaps chosen another dress. This makes me so... fat!"

Sarah shook her head incensed, "you look great and in addition you are allowed to look fat," she grinned, "you are pregnant after all." 

Kimber nodded, "true, but I thought somehow that one could see the tummy later on only." She gathered her long blond hair reaching her shoulders together at her neck and lifted it all up, "should I put my hair high, or leave it the way it is?"

"Leave it like that," Sarah decided. She took two little combs and positioned them on the two sides of Kimber's head, "then it doesn't fall into your face when you lean forward to eat," she said smiling.

Kimber began to pace up and down nervously in the living room, while casting a glance at the clock over and over again, "when did your Mom and Julia want to come?" She asked and regarded Sarah curiously.

Sarah shrugged, "no idea, they should actually be here for a while now."

"Hopefully everything's all right with Julia," Kimber said concerned, "when I saw her last week she hasn't been so well."

"Mom would've surely called if something would've happened," Sarah tried to calm her.

Kimber exhaled relieved when she heard a quiet knock on the door, "well, finally!" She opened the door with expectation and froze, "Gina, you!?" She said.

"Hello Kimber!" Gina said with a self-satisfied smile, "I heard that a party takes place here."

"Only invited guests have admission", answered Kimber. She was more surprised than shocked over Gina's unexpected appearance, "what do you want here?"

"Why are you so unfriendly?" Gina pulled a small bag ornate with a blue loop out from behind her back, "I only wanted to bring a small gift to the bride", she said with a voice sweet like honey.

"No thanks Gina, I have no interest in your recycled contraceptives!" Kimber said with a sarcastic undertone of her voice.

Gina laughed while openly staring at Kimber's stomach, "that is now probably a little late, don't you think?"

"For the last time what do you want here?" Kimber was losing her patience in stages.

"I told you already I just wanted to bring a present by. I don't have any ulterior motives, if you would think that."

"I would not even touch your gifts with pincers!" Kimber said while frowning disgusted.

Sarah, who was watching the scene in the background came hesitantly closer, "if Kimber says you're not welcome here, then you should maybe go," she attempted a feeble objection.

Gina lifted her eyebrows surprised, "do you have a personal guard dog now?" She asked grinning. She examined the young girl with unconcealed curiosity, "you must be Christian's sister. Julia told me about you ", she explained, "I'm Gina." She stretched her hand out towards Sarah.

Kimber rolled her eyes. Gina had an unfailing instinct to always appear at the wrong moment. She saw Sarah's irritated look and felt compelled to say something. "Gina is... was an acquaintance of Christian", she said in brief.

"Is," Gina corrected her quickly and pulled her hand back when she saw Sarah wasn't reciprocating her gesture, "Christian and I had our differences in the past, but meanwhile we came to understand each other again very well."

"Dream on, Gina!" Kimber laughed derisively, "no man is so dopey to be fall for you twice!"

Sarah felt uneasy in the midst of the two combatant hens. She did not know, what happened in the past between Gina and Kimber, but at least she now understood that it probably concerned Christian. Was Gina an ex girlfriend of her brother? She could not remember having ever heard the name Gina from his mouth. But she probably did not know everything about Christian by far. That became clear to her this instant.

"Don't you find your behaviour a bit childish, honey?" Gina lifted her eyebrows, "if you believe that I am here to steal Christian from you, then you are wrong. In addition I had sufficient opportunities. And believe me, if I had really had in mind to get him back, then you would have had no chance. But... " She cleared her throat, "you're right. Hardly anybody would like to get involved with me knowing that I am HIV positive."

Sarah's eyes snapped wide from astonishment, "you're HIV positive?" She asked visibly shocked.

Gina leaned to the doorframe nonchalantly, "a small souvenir from one of my numerous ex-lovers." She grinned at Sarah, "so always remember, little one, use condoms."

Kimber grabbed Gina's arm quick as flash and pulled her into the apartment abruptly, "that's enough now, Gina!" She considered her opponent with a poisonous look, "possibly I repeat myself now, but you really are the ultimate scum!"

Gina laughed snidely, "and you'll always be a whore!" She said contemptuously, "no beautiful dresses or perfect make up helps that, "she grinned vulgarly, "what do you think Christian's patients would say, if they knew that his wife was shooting porn movies once."

Kimber began to fight for air. Gina's words were like thumps into the pit of her stomach. She drew her hand back instinctively and gave Gina a clangourous slap, "that was revenge for last time!" She hissed.

"Stop it!" Sarah shouted despairingly. She was afraid the two would end up in a real fight, but to her great relief Gina began to retreat.

"Okay, I understood", she said through her pressed together lips while touching her hurting cheek, "I came here, because I had hoped that we could make peace."

"I would rather see hell freeze over first!" Kimber's whole body started to shake while she could only hold her tears back with difficulty, "disappear Gina and don't ever show up here again!"

Gina threw the bag with the blue loop carelessly to the sofa, "I'm disappearing, but let me tell you one more thing," a demonic smile was playing on her lips, "enjoy your luck as long as it lasts, because it won't go on like this for very long!" She opened the door and left the apartment.

Kimber's laboriously maintained self-control was gone. She sank to the sofa weakly and let her tears run freely.

Sarah was shocked over Kimber's sudden crumple. She hurried over to her and put an arm encouragingly on her shoulder, "everything will be all right again," she muttered while she rocked Kimber back and forth like you'd do with a baby. She looked at the clock apprehensively. Where was her mother and Julia? She felt overtaxed with the whole situation, particularly since she had a feeling that Kimber's cries intensified. She pressed her gently down to lie on the couch and put a cover over her. She dialled her mother's cell number with erratic fingers, "please," she begged into the receiver, "get it!" But only the electronic voice of the answering machine answered and communicated that the discussion partner was not within reach at present.

Sarah disconnected and went back to Kimber. She had stopped crying, but she looked completely apathetical. Sarah did not have any medical training, but she assumed that Kimber had a nervous breakdown. Gently she stroke her hair. "Mom and Julia will come soon. Everything will be all right," she said again and again. It seemed like an eternity to Sarah, until she heard knocking at the door again. She stood up quickly and opened the door, "the party's off!" She told her mother and Julia instead of greetings. "Kimber has a nervous breakdown!"


	61. Chapter 61

With the help of Gail and Julia half an hour later Kimber at least got as far as being able to tell them what had happened.

Gail was watching her future daughter in law concerned, "it's better if we'll take you to the doctor's so that he can examine you in detail. This whole excitement is not good for you and the baby." She rose and crossed to the telephone. "I will call Christian, so that he knows, what the matter is."

"No!" Kimber sat up abruptly and looked at Gail horrified, "please don't call him!" She begged, "he treats me like a raw egg nevertheless anyway already. If he finds out what happened here he will not let me leave the house over the next months!" She forced a smile, "I'm fine! I only need a little peace."

Gail looked at her sceptically, but put the receiver back on its hook anyway, "well all right, but I'll come by tomorrow again as well and examine you. I have a portable ultrasound machine. I would like to make sure that the baby's well."

Relieved Kimber drew a deep breath. It was better, if Christian did not know anything about Gina's visit or that she had a nervous breakdown. She could imagine his reaction to it all too well.

"Gina had clearly went too far!" Julia let her disapproval being known, "she'll get the written notice first thing tomorrow!"

"Better not," Kimber said and frowned, "who knows what else despicable occurs to her then."

Julia shook her head, "that does not necessarily have to do anything with you. I've already been dissatisfied with her work for a long time now. In addition numerous patients complained about her unfriendly manner previously."

"Who's this Gina in fact?" Gail asked and looked at Julia questioningly.

Julia hesitated. She was considering feverishly how she should explain Christian's mother that her son had been jumping into bed with every female being not all that long ago, "now Christian and Gina were..." She began hesitating.

"Did you know that she is HIV positive?" Sarah interrupted her.

Gail looked at Julia horror-struck, "is this true?"

Julia groaned innerly. She found it impossible telling Gail that Gina and Christian met each other at sexaholics anonymous and that they slept with each other after that. There were things she best kept for herself. And Christian's active love life was not a discussion topic suitable for a hen night. Julia decided for the mild version, "it is true. Gina is HIV positive ", she began coming to a stop..."However so far the illness did not break out yet. She works for me at the Spa."

"Was she Christian's girlfriend?" Sarah put her hand frightened to her mouth, when she saw the reproachful look of her mother. "Sorry", she murmured and hung her head embarrassed.

"Something like that," granted Julia.

"Christian had taken care of her son for a while," Kimber threw in, "she made him believe at first that the baby was his. But later it became clear that the father was an Afro-American, one of Gina's numerous one night stands."

Julia nodded, "that was already a considerable shock for Christian, but he stood by the little one and was even ready to adopt him..."

"But Gina messed it all up," Kimber continued, "she visited me back then and put me under pressure to make a statement against Christian. She wanted to prevent at any cost him getting custody."

Gail looked confused from Julia to Kimber and back and forth, "and what happened with the child?"

"The biological father got custody then," Julia explained, "it almost broke Christian's heart when James just simply took Wilbur with him."

"I'm sorry about that," Gail said sincerely. "I did not have any idea, what he had to go through. And what does Gina still want from him?" 

"She denies it, but it was never about Wilbur. She used the baby only as means for the purpose. She wanted Christian anyway, and she will not rest, until she gets, what she wants," Kimber said with a monotonous voice, "that was proved by her coming here today."

Julia shook her head, "you don't have to worry. We're all behind you. Gina's no danger for you. And Christian can take care of himself as well."

Sarah looked at the plate in front of her irritated. It has been covered with Canapes just a few minutes ago and now it was half empty. She had been listening so tensely that she had not noticed at all that she had eaten them up one by one. "I suppose, I just disappear into the kitchen and make a few new Canapes", she said smiling embarassed. She hardly said it, cornered Julia and Gail and disappeared in the kitchen.

"I think we made her feel uncomfortable," Julia said smiling.

"I will help Sarah." Kimber rose from the sofa and wanted to go straight into the kitchen, when Gail held her back.

"You're staying down! I'm ordering bed rest for you today!" She said determined. 

"But I already said I'm fine!" Kimber dared to object.

"It didn't look like that one hour ago however," Gail rose sighing. "I go into the kitchen and check whether Sarah needs my help."

"Gail's right," Julia said after Gail had left the room, "Annie came four weeks too early because I didn't listen to my midwife and had to go to work at all costs, although I could've actually used some peace."

"I didn't know that," Kimber regarded her concerned, "and how are you now?"

"Quite well so far," Julia put her hands onto her round belly, "however slowly I'm longing for the end here," she said sighing.

Kimber smiled, "I can imagine," her gaze fell onto Gina's gift, "should I unpack it before or dispose of it like this now?" She asked and frowned.

"Do you think it's a bomb?" Julia said grinning.

"Last time it was her diaphragm she had used with Christian," Kimber said and rolled her eyes at the same time, "I'd expect she would've maybe packed her lingerie in this time."

"Guessed almost right," while Kimber was speculating what it was, Julia had removed the band from around the package and lifted the cover.

"Really?" Kimber asked surprised, "what is it?" She strained her head curiously.

Julia laughed quietly while she took the item out the box holding it up with the tips of her fingers. A white-blue garter ornated with ribbons was to be seen.

"With what occasion would she have worn that?" Kimber considered.

"I'd rather not like to know," Julia put the garter back into the box disgusted and closed it.

Right in time, cause Gail and Sarah stepped out the kitchen with two trays on their arms and went thereby into the living room.

"The buffet is open!" Gail said smiling, while she put the food down onto the table.

"Exactly!" Sarah took place beside Kimber on the sofa, "we should not let our mood be spoiled by such things."

Gail sat down as well and filled the glasses with orange juice, "let us drink on the future, on a lucky and happy married life..."

"...and lotsa kids," Sarah threw in grinning.

Kimber laughed, "maybe we'll start of with one at the beginning and we'll see how we manage with that."

Gail lifted her glass up to the height of her head at the middle of the table and waited till Sarah and Julia copied her and they formed a star shape together.

"And what do we say now?" Julia regarded Gail questioningly.

"One for all, all for one?" Sarah blurted out.

Gail and Julia started to laugh.

"That's good," Kimber nodded, "that could be our motto," she lifted her glass to join the others in the middle, "let's drink on that!"


	62. Chapter 62

_At The Spa_

Julia was sitting in her office before Gina's written notice of dismissal and went through the individual lines again before she decided to put her signature down under it and then folded the letter into an envelope. She was sure that it was the correct decision to terminate the partnership with Gina. After her appearance at Christian's apartment the day before, Julia had become completely conscious of the fact that Gina had not changed one bit. And it was only one question of the time, until the situation escalated completely. Julia looked up from her desk, as Gina entered the office without knocking.

"Liz told me you wanted to speak to me," she got to the point right away.

Julia nodded, "sit down, Gina!"

"So formal today?" Gina sat down opposite Julia and crossed her legs, "what is it about?"

Julia pushed the envelope with the pink slip over to her mutely.

Gina skimmed over the lines and smiled disparagingly, "ah, as I see there's a plan of a personal revenge campaign going on against me."

Julia shook her head, "this has been due for a long time now. It is not the first time that patients complained about your impertinent manner." 

"Come on, Julia, be honest..." Gina grinned uncouthly, "this here does not have anything to do with my work. You want to revenge yourself nevertheless only for what I did to your dearest Kimber," she said scornfully.

"That was only the last drop that made the glass spill over," Julia answered, "sooner or later our ways would have separated anyway." 

"From where does it come by the way that you and Kimber are the best friends all of a sudden?" Gina asked lifting her eyebrows, "you were once rivals in the fight for Christian."

"Contrary to you I know when I lost a fight," Julia answered dryly, "Kimber's the best that ever happened to Christian. She loves him unconditionally, something you'll never do because you place your needs and desires above everything. She brought more peace and stability into his life. For her he was ready to change." She stopped for a moment and cleared her throat, "I know that you told Kimber that you saw Christian and me on her wedding day, how we kissed. You are a viper, Gina! Whereever you go you poison everything! I probably also made mistakes in the past, but at least I strive to make it all better. You however only use people and suck up to them to turn everything to your own advantage... "

"Are you finished?" Gina's jaw was strained and she had difficulties controlling herself.

"Keep away from Kimber and Christian! I'll not have you bother them again!" Julia added emphasizing it.

Gina was laughing cynically, "and how do you want to stop me? You want to have me arrested?"

"Don't push it, Gina! I know some things about you that could wreck your name forever", said Julia dangerously quietly.

Gina's grin disappeared, "what can you know about me?" She asked disconcerted.

"Now, I know that you've taken cosmetics and cream from the spa secretly, without recording it. That is theft, Gina! You earned the sack alone for that! And I can also hardly believe that it would be favourable for your further vocational career, if all find out that you are HIV positive."

Gina laughed contemptuously, "you're only bluffing!"

"Lead me not into temptation", said Julia with a serious face. "I have had enough of your sexcapades! You only gave Christian grief and suffering. Now it's over with it! I would like you taking your things and disappear - as far as possible, so you can't cause any more harm."

Gina was speechless for a moment. She had never seen Julia so animated and she gave the impression she would be faithful to her threats if she did not do what she expected her to, "I'm demanding you to pay out my part from the spa!" Gina said indubitably.

"No problem," Julia nodded, "sign the form before you and I'll write you a check for it." She cleared her throat. "...minus the cost of the products you had stolen from here over the last six months."

Gina regarded Julia with an uncertain look, "have you maybe spied on me?"

A knowing grin showed on Julia's face, "should I take this as a confession?"

"What?" Gina looked at her confused.

"If it was a confession," Julia repeated the question.

"I thought you saw me taking stuff. Why are you asking then?"

"I'll not listen to you questioning me back!" Julia said on a somewhat sharper tone, "have you stolen things-yes or no?"

Gina felt cornered, "yes...damn it!" She said.

"Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Gina!" Julia said ironically and grinned to it. She pulled the drawer out and took out a small tape, "the police'll surely be interested in your confession," she pressed rewind and let the tape replay in front of Gina.

Gina became pale, "you...you've tricked me!" She said, "you did not know at all that I had stolen things."

"Very well recognized," Julia laughed spitefully, "fell into your own trap! I was not completely sure. Only noticed at the stocktaking that some things were missing, and I trust Liz, so I only needed to put two and two together."

"Well all right..." Gina's shoulders tensed, "what exactly do you want from me?" She said.

"I would like you leaving Miami!" Julia said categorically, "as compensation you get a free flight ticket from me."

"We're partners, Julia!" Gina insisted, "you cannot fob me so simply with a flight ticket! I invested much into the spa. I want my part!"

"You didn't invest half as much as Liz and I", answered Julia. "you just sucked yourself up to us to profit from us." Julia regarded Gina with a firm look, "our partnership is hereby officially terminated!"

Gina jumped up, "you don't get away with that!" She said furiously, "I'll sue you!"

Julia laughed, "just try. Then the tape goes to the police, and believe me, nobody will offer you any work if they know that you were previously convicted...not mentioning your illness at all."

"You...you...piece of shit!" Gina stepped to Julia and clenched her fists.

"Just hit me!" Julia said calmly, "then still another statement is added because of assault." She shook her head, "it is over, Gina. Be reasonable and take my offer. You cannot win the game."

Gina lifted her head and regarded Julia with a loathing look, "I hope you'll die early!"

"Me too! And the chances for that are better for you than they are for me," Julia said grinning.

"Where's the ticket?" Gina ignored Julia's last remark.

"You can get it when you decide where you wanna go," Julia replied smiling, "the cost doesn't matter. I'm very generous. I'd even spend money to get you a flight to the north pole."

Gina reached for the written notice of dismissal and regarded Julia with a destroying look, "I'll go, but do not believe that that was the end!" She laughed derisively, "that is only the beginning!" She turned abruptly and left Julia's office.

Julia leaned back on her seat sighing. Typical Gina, she thought. If she was feeling cornered, she immediately came back with imprecations and threats. Julia comforted herself with the thought that she clearly held the worse cards in her hand in this case. Nevertheless a bitter aftertaste stayed with her. She was no more danger only if she sat in that airplane. Julia hoped that Gina would decide quick, because Kimber and Christian's wedding was just in four days. And this time everything should run smoothly.

Julia straightened up and rubbed her aching back moaning. She only noticed now how the confrontation with Gina stressed her. She'd tell Liz that she's taking the rest of the day off. Julia remembered the advice she gave Kimber. Maybe she should also save herself a bit during the last few weeks before the birth. But the affair with Gina could not be postponed in any case. Julia rose ponderously from the chair and left the office.


	63. Chapter 63

_Christian's Apartment_

Kimber was lying on the bed completely stressed out and stared at the ceiling while Gail got her ultrasound machine out from the bag and set it up beside Kimber.

"Try to relax", said Gail with a reassuring voice, "it will not hurt."

"I know," Kimber nodded. She felt Gail distributing the cold ultrasonic gel and then let the transducer slide over her tummy, "everything all right?" She asked nervously.

Gail nodded while looking at the monitor, "everything looks completely normal," she said after a while.

"Thank God!" Kimber said.

Gail looked at her surprised, "did you worry about it not being all right?"

Kimber nodded hesitantly, "I had some strange feelings in my stomach this morning. It almost felt like a cramp."

Gail scrunched her forehead, "was that feeling painful?"

Kimber shook her head, "it didn't really hurt, it was more uncomfortable."

Gail nodded, "the baby's growing and forces more room out for himself. What you felt were caused by stretching. That is completely normal. If you get however right violent pain, then you should better get directly to the hospital. That could be in that case a sign of premature birth. It is however everything fine", she added however quick when she saw Kimber's frightened facial expression.

Kimber let out a quiet sigh, "I was worried that something occurs yet again that would make us having to postpone the wedding again. I can hardly stand the word hospital anymore!"

"Did you speak to Christian about the thing from yesterday?" Gail changed the subject.

Kimber shook her head, "I'll deal with Gina by myself," she said, "besides he doesn't have to know everything."

"This now is only well meant advice, but you should not keep secrets from him," Gail took a cloth and wiped the gel off Kimber's belly, "not only because of Gina, but also entirely generally", she added, "that is a bad start for your marriage and if he'll find out perhaps nevertheless by coincidence, he will accuse you that you did not have trust in him."

Kimber looked at Gail surprised, "that sounds like you've experienced something similar before."

Gail nodded, "when my husband, Max and Sarah's father found out that I at first concealed from him that I had been raped as a 14 year old and given my baby up for adoption. I thought, I would lose him if he knew the truth." She sighed audibly, "the opposite was then rather the case."

"So he found out about it later?" Kimber asked curiously.

Gail nodded, "we were already married for three years, I was pregnant with Max when my mother sputtered it out at a family gathering. Paul regarded me with a completely speechless look and ran then out.

"Oh no... " Kimber regarded her concerned, "and what happened then?"

"I told myself he needed time to think and took off. For one week he remained at the hotel, and as he then remerged, he was different. He reproached me that I would not have had trust in him and that I was deceiving him the whole time. I thought, thus the discussion was over, but Paul insisted that I contact the adoption agency again, with which I signed the contract back then. He wanted me to concentrate on my past, and together we began the investigations."

"You searched for Christian?" Kimber asked stunned.

Gail nodded, "yes, shortly after Max's' birth. That was almost nineteen years ago. But it was hopeless. The adoption papers were with the adoption court in charge, and there they refused us insight into the documents," Gail paused briefly before she continued, "it is so terrible, what he had to endure all those years. I could have saved him from that suffering. Do you know, what he said to me, as we saw each other at that time at the prison for the first time?"

Kimber shook her head mutely.

"He told me that always when he was molested and beaten by his foster father he imagined that his mother was an angel and would look down from heaven on him. That alone gave him the strength to stand the pain and the humiliating," Gail lost her voice and tears appeared in her eyes.

Kimber sat up quickly and took her future mother in law consolingly into her arms, "I'm so sorry!" She said quietly, "do not think about it anymore! It is the past."

"We've been living only a few miles away from each other and had no idea about it..."

"Don't torture yourself like this!" Kimber wiped a tear from Gail's cheek away carefully, "everything'll be all right! Christian and I will marry, and you will be a grandmother soon."

Gail freed herself carefully from Kimber's arms and smiled, "it reminds me of the actual reason why I am here... Would you like to actually know what it will be?"

"Can you tell that already?" Kimber asked surprised.

"If the baby's lying the right way when we're looking, "Gail nodded, "there are however many couples who want to be surprised."

"Julia wanted to know," threw Kimber in, "one needs to select then only one name for the baby and can limit the colour of the clothes selection."

Gail laughed, "you're thinking's really practical," she became serious again, "it was different with Julia. She had an amniotic fluid test and the sex of the child is then determined always automatically as well."

"Yes, I know," Kimber nodded, "but you can never be sure, can you?"

"No," Gail shook her head, "although the devices have high resolution, some uncertainty remains. Would you like nevertheless for me to check?"

Kimber nodded diffidently, "I am much too curious to wait till the birth," she admitted.

"All right. Then let's see if this little one here is ready to disclose the secret," Gail said smiling. She distributed some more ultrasonic gel on Kimber's stomach again and positioned the transducer into place once more.


	64. Chapter 64

Kimber was waiting for Christian's return from the practice that evening even more restlessly than usual. After her discussion with Gail the determination to tell him everything about what had occurred during and after Gina's visit had matured in her. Kimber was glad that Gail had asked her again to reconsider her initial decision to conceal the thing from Christian. Gail's confession had deeply touched her. Kimber could almost physically feel her despair over the fact that she let her son being abused and beaten. And although Kimber had tried to stop her having a bad conscience Gail still felt guilty.

But there was another reason as to why Kimber was awaiting Christian's return so longingly: Gail had been able to determine the sex of the baby on the basis the ultrasonic photographs completely clearly, and Kimber had driven in complete euphoria to the next baby shop and bought some tiny small baby shoes, which she wanted to ceremonially present Christian with after dinner. Although she was not an imaginative cook she couldn't let it ride and not prepare the meal herself. In accordance with the ceremonial cause there was something exotic - curry chicken in a kocos sauce and vegetables and rice as a side dish.

Kimber ran into the kitchen for the hundredth time that evening and examined the temperature of the food. She looked at the clock disconnectedly. It was shortly before half 8. Christian had to come every minute now. She turned the oven off and took her apron quickly off when she heard the door opened.

"What's going on here?" Christian called surprised and froze into place when he saw the ceremonially set table in the living room, "is there something to celebrate?"

"Only a little pre-marital dinner," Smiling Kimber went toward him and kissed him tenderly as a form of greeting.

Christian felt his pulse accelerating at the sight of her. The ankle length, tight red satin dress she wore left her shoulders free and was slit up at both sides up to her thighs. She had put her blond hair up, and only a few locks fell in her face at the sides, "I think I'll start first with the dessert..." He murmured and put his arm around Kimber's waist.

"First the main meal then the dessert ", she said laughing and freed herself from his embrace. She gave him a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, "I am going briefly to the kitchen."

A little disappointed Christian watched her disappearing in the kitchen. He asked himself to what cause he had to thank that Kimber cooked for him. It had to be something special, because one normally could not find her too often in the kitchen.

"So, that's me back already," Kimber put two dishes with steaming contents on the table and sat down opposite him, "then enjoy your meal!" She lifted the top of the dish and uncorked the wine bottle she had already put on the table beforehand, "you do wanna have a little glass of wine?"

Christian nodded, "hm, this really looks yummy!" He said impressed, "you obviously got some talents I didn't have an idea about so far."

Kimber laughed quietly, "maybe you should try it first before you praise me so effusively."

Christian joined with the laughter and then raised his glass, "to us - to a trouble and problem-free wedding party!"

Kimber sipped from her glass of grape juice warily and then put it down quickly again. That was the keyword. "Christian, I..." She began hesitantly.

"Yes?" He looked up curiously from his plate.

Her courage left Kimber suddenly, "Gail visited me today!" It burst out from her.

Christian looked at her startled, "she's just been here yesterday evening for your bridesmaids party", he said surprised, "what did she want?"

"She wanted to examine me again," Kimber said hesitantly, "just to be sure..." She promptly added when she saw Christian's worried expression.

"So are there any problems? I thought everything was all right now."

Kimber nodded, "it is. The baby's fine," she hung her head so that she didn't have to look Christian in the eyes, "Gina was here yesterday..."

Christian looked up, "I did not know that you had also invited her," he said surprised.

"I did not invite her," Kimber shook her head, "she simply came by. Julia must probably have mentioned at the work that I'm having a party."

Christian's face became serious, "you should better go out her way. Gina has a long head. Where she goes there's problems!" He said warningly.

Kimber nodded. She fumbled around with her dress nervously, "she said some terrible things," she continued coming to a halt already, "she threatened and insulted me."

Christian looked at her uncomprehending, "and you're only telling me that now?"

"I...I didn't actually wanna tell you at all," Kimber said. Her eyes filled with tears, "but Gail thought it would be better if you knew."

"You're talking about it with Gail but not with me?" Christian looked at her reproachfully.

"But she was there!" Kimber said, "at least after the event," she added quickly, "save for I didn't know myself what I should do. I didn't wanna drag you into it. It's simply and solely a thing between Gina and me!"

Christian shook his head, "it has never only been a thing between you and her," he clenched his fists, "I'll face Gina up! I will ensure that she does not trouble you anymore!"

"See, that's exactly why I didn't wanna tell you. You always immediately blow up like a bomb. And believe me, if you try to take action against her she'll invent some even more nasty things!"

Christian ignored Kimber's last remark, "is that everything?" He asked and regarded her searchingly, "or there's still something you're keeping secret from me?"

Kimber shook her head. She thought better not to tell Christian about her nervous breakdown. The evening was already going differently than she planned it to be, "we should eat now, otherwise the food'll get cold," she said quietly and speared a bite of meat onto her fork.

Christian nodded. He half-heartedly poked in his plate around for a while before he finally pushed it completely to the side, "I'm sorry, but my appetite's gone."

Kimber nodded, "mine too."

"But can I get my dessert anyway?"

Kimber exhaled relieved. She was afraid for a moment that the whole evening was ruined. However she could see from Christian's yearning look that nothing and nobody could hold him from taking his dessert. With lithesome movements Kimber went toward him and slid onto his lap straddling him with her legs, "would you like it right here at the table? " She whispered and let her lips slide along his neck.

Christian couldn't refuse such a heavenly invite. He put his hands on Kimber's hips and lowered his lips to her slightly opened mouth...


	65. Chapter 65

"That was wonderful!" Christian rolled to the side and regarded Kimber with an affectionate look, "you manage to daze me over and over again. I did not exaggerate back then when I said that I had the best sexual encounter of my life with you. And it's becoming ever better..." He murmured while he put his hand around Kimber's neck and pulled her closer until their lips touched.

"Yes," she sighed, "just unfortunately it doesn't get any more comfortable," she straightened up after giving him a kiss in return and looked around. Everywhere around their clothes lay scattered in disarray. They did not even make it to the bedroom this time and started with the living room instead.

Christian nodded, "you're right. We urgently need a rug in the living room."

Kimber could only conceal her grin with some difficulty, "I didn't mean it like that at all, but the idea is nice," she lifted her clothes off the ground and disappeared with them around the corner, "I'll be right back!" She called from the bedroom, "and then there's another surprise."

"Another one?" Christian asked stunned, "I thought that would have already been it."

Kimber opened the wardrobe and took the small package with the baby shoes out. She held it smiling in her hands. She was curious and excited at the same time as to how Christian would react. So far they had not spoken at all yet about the topic "boy or girl". After the initial problems they were more concerned about the baby being healthy than anything else. The sex of the child wasn't important. Kimber straightened her dress and went to the living room with the box in her hand, where Christian was still squatting stark naked on the floor.

She cleared her throat, "could you put on something please? I can't possibly think clearly this way." 

Christian laughed quietly while grabbing for his trousers and sliding into them, "strange, it works the same for me with that dress of yours," he said and wet his lips.

"Christian, please!" Kimber said impatiently, "could you be serious for one moment?"

He nodded while getting his shirt and putting it on, "better this way?"

"A lot better," Kimber nodded. She sat down on the sofa whilst making sure her legs were not all exposed. For a discussion about parenthood the dress was completely inappropriate, she thought sighing.

Christian sat down next to her and was looking at the box curiously, "is that for me?"

Kimber nodded hesitantly, "I only actually wanted to give it to you on the day after our wedding, but..."

"...but there you don't know if we'll manage that far this time either so you decided to give it to me today instead," Christian completed the sentence and grinned.

Kimber rolled her eyes, "that's not funny, Christian! Since Gina turned up here I constantly ask myself what else dreadful will happen till the wedding...or during the ceremony," she rolled her eyes, "so please don't put more oil on the fire!"

He looked at her guiltily, "I'm sorry!" He gently stroke a hair lock away from her forehead, "I'm listening to you now and I'm all attentive", he promised.

"I possibly overreacted a little," Kimber admitted. She put the box carefully into his lap, "I only wanted to give it to you after our wedding," she started again, "but I couldn't stand the wait."

Christian regarded the box with a scrunched forehead, "should I feel uncomfortable now I don't have a present for you?"

Kimber laughed shaking her head, "only a woman can give this kinda present to a man."

Christian lifted his eyebrows questioningly

"Now open it already!" Kimber ordered him. She held her breath as he slowly lifted the top and took the tiny-small baby shoes out the box.

Christian first stared for a while at the small shoes and then at Kimber, "light blue baby shoes..." He murmured and scrunched his forehead. But very gradually the deeper sense of this gift became clear for him because his face suddenly lit up in a smile and he pulled Kimber mutely into his arms. "I love you!" He said quietly.

"But I hope you'll still say that if it maybe happens that our son is a girl after all," she said smiling, "Gail said that the ultrasonic photographs are not always completely clear."

Christian shook his head and hid his face into the curve of her neck, "you can't ever disappoint me," he said quietly, "and our baby - all the same whether boy or girl..." He put his hand on Kimber's belly, "is the most beautiful gift that I ever got."

Kimber made their cuddle tighter, "do you know that so much harmony almost a bit unsettles me?" She said quietly.

"Shush!" He put a finger quickly to her lips, "the last months were not exactly easy-for neither of us. First the kidnapping, then the thing with Sarah and Gail, problems with the pregnancy..." He lifted her chin and looked at her, "don't you think we deserve a little luck after all the worries?"

Kimber nodded, "but Gina said..."

"Forget what Gina said. I don't think she would still annoy us. Even Gina knows, when it is enough."

"You are surely right, and I think too much again," said Kimber and forced a smile.

Christian nodded happily, "that sounds better," he kissed her tenderly, "I didn't even thank you for my present yet," he said with a sly smile on his lips.

"Does that mean you want a continuation?" Kimber laughed quietly, "perhaps we should use the opportunity cause in a couple of months I'll get uglier and fat, and quickies under the shower or on the floor will be a thing of the past."

Christian stood up and took Kimber briskly into his arms, "do you want more comfy? You can have it," he took her to the bed and pulled the zip of her dress slowly down. 

With speedy fingers Kimber unbuttoned his trousers and shirt, until he was completely naked.

The ringing of the phone interrupted this act of love.

"Oh no!" Christian moaned, obviously annoyed by the disruption, "who could this be now?"

Kimber straightened up reluctantly, "if you don't get it we'll never find out."

"Let it ring!" Christian pulled her back down and started to nibble at her earlobes.

"It could nevertheless be important however!" She turned out from Christian's arms and reached for the telephone on the bed file, "Troy", she responded.

Christian sat up groaning and watched Kimber with scrunched forehead. Apparently it was no good news she was told by the person on the other side of the connection. He noticed how pale Kimber turned.

"What's wrong?" He asked alarmed after she put the receiver down.

"It was Sean," Kimber's bottom lip was trembling a little when she continued, "Julia is in the hospital..."


	66. Chapter 66

_Cedars Medical Center_

Kimber knocked briefly and then opened the door of Julia's hospital room, "hello", she said quietly as a way of greeting, "how are you?"

Julia was sitting half upright in bed and smiled weakly, "correspondingly with the circumstances."

Kimber sat down on a chair next to Julia's bed, "Sean called us yesterday evening and told us what happened."

Julia tried to put herself up into a more of a proper sitting position, but she instantly frowned in pain, "our little one had to be in such a hurry all of a sudden. So I was hoping that it wouldn't come to a caesarean this time round," she sighed, "Annie came too early as well back then though."

"I'm really sorry!" Kimber hung her head uneasy, "I know, how very much you had wished for a normal delivery this time. What happened at all?"

"I do not know so exactly either. I did not feel so well already the evening before. I felt sick and dizzy, and I had a terrible back pain. Gail came over then on the next day and examined me. But everything was all right then. Yesterday evening the back pain began again and extended to my belly as well. There it was then also clear to me that they were contractions."

Kimber's hand instinctively went to her tummy, "I think I'll not notice the difference even though I read about it so much."

"Believe me, you'll notice. I don't know any woman who failed to notice the birth of her baby." Julia opened the drawer and took out a Polaroid photo from it, "may I present... Emily McNamara ", she said smiling, "the nurses took the photo," she explained, "she's still in special care and there no visitors are allowed."

Kimber regarded the photo of the newest member of the McNamara family with tears in her eyes. The little one was looking so vulnerable and helpless in her see through little bed. Kimber swallowed, "she is really adorable!" She said quietly, "for how long does she have to stay in the incubator?"

"I don't know," Julia shook her head, "she came four weeks earlier than planned. Normally they stay in special care till they gain enough weight. I think we should be able to take her home too in a month time...if no complications occur till then."

"Do you know yet when you're allowed back home?" Kimber enquired. She tried to erase Julia's last comment from her mind.

"I'll not manage till your wedding," Julia said sadly, "I was so much looking forward to it already."

Kimber bent forwards and reached for Julia's hand, "instead you got a sweet small daughter. And soon she'll be so strong that you can take her home and introduce her to the rest of the family."

"Sean was with me the whole time of the section and held my hand," Julia said quietly, "I think he was quite happy he didn't have to perform the operation himself this time," she forced a smile, "how are you at all? Did you get yourself together after your breakdown?"

Kimber nodded, "Gail came back the next day and took an ultrasound scan..." She inhaled deeply before continuing, "we know now what it will be!"

"And?" Julia looked at her full of expectation.

"A boy!" Kimber blurted out.

"Congratulations!" Julia's face lit up, "does Christian know yet?"

"Yes," Kimber nodded, "I told him yesterday," she started to smile, "I couldn't keep it to myself any longer."

"I can understand that," Julia nodded, "I'm happy for you two!" She squeezed Kimber's hand, "with the first child everything's still so exciting and new, and one actually notices every change."

Kimber looked down at herself, "yes", she admitted, "it is simply fascinating, how the body changes. Even if sometimes I ask myself, if I will ever fit into my old clothes again," she rolled her eyes.

"You'll get there," said Julia encouragingly, "surely not right away, but a few weeks after the birth you can certainly wear your normal clothes again and no more maternity trousers," she looked at Kimber's belly, "did you actually manage to find a suitable wedding dress? I can still remember, with me it was difficult back then."

Kimber nodded, "the last fitting session was the day before yesterday."

"You must take many photos of it, so that I can see, how you looked as a bride", said Julia a little wistfully, "I am sure you'll be a beautiful radiating bride."

"I still can't believe I'll be Mrs. Christian Troy in two days! This is our third attempt and somehow I'm totally nervous."

"That's normal," Julia tried to calm her, "every bride goes through that. Were you not nervous the first time round?"

Kimber nodded, "yes of course, but it was somehow...different. I can't explain it," in thought she let the evening before her first shot at the wedding play before her eyes. When Kimber stepped into the living room to find Christian, he was leafing through an old wedding album, in which Julia was shown as a bride. Shivering she pulled her shoulders up. This time the threat was not from Julia but from Gina.

"I wish we'd had it all behind us and were on honeymoon now," Kimber sighed. She stood up and leaned then down to Julia and gave her a kiss to the cheek, "have a rest! I'll go now," Kimber was just about to turn away when Julia called her back.

"Kimber wait, I have to tell you something else!" Julia said with urgency in her voice.

"What is wrong?" Kimber looked at her concerned.

"It's about Gina. I had a little discussion with her..."

Kimber looked at her vexed, "but you hopefully didn't tell her off because of the thing with me, or?" She asked alarmed.

"I fired her", stated Julia, "I should've done it a long time ago. She was simply unreliable, and on top of her insolence she secretly took products from the Spa, without disclosing anybody."

"Did she stole from you?" Kimber asked disbelievingly, "then it is only understandable that you fired her."

"It is," Julia said stretching the words, "but she thinks of course that it is something personal. And so completely wrong she's not either if I am being honest. But however - I threatened her that I will go to the police and testify against her if she doesn't leave the country immediately."

"Wow!" Kimber was visibly impressed, "and how did she react?"

"In a typical Gina manner," Julia rolled her eyes, "she insulted me and oozed her good wishes at me. But one could see completely clearly that it was only bare despair that drove her to do it. I do not think that she'll annoy you again."

Kimber looked at her sceptically, "I hope you're right," she went to the door, "Christian will visit you later. He's still at the practice."

"Sean too," Julia nodded, "he promised to bring Annie with him," a hearty smile played on her lips, "she is already completely excited, to be able to finally meet her small sister."

"Does she know that the baby must still stay in an incubator?"

Julia nodded, "she already understands quite a lot given the age she is. Sean explained it all to her. She was very sad, but she's joyfully expecting the time when Emily comes home."

Kimber bent down to Julia, "I'm really going now and you should sleep a little."

Julia nodded, "this time I'll take your advice."

"Good," Kimber laughed, "and don't worry too much. It will all be fine," she opened the door and left the room.


	67. Chapter 67

"I'm only letting you go reluctantly, you know that, don't you?" Christian took Kimber's hands gently into his and regarded her with a serious look.

She nodded and leaned her head onto his shoulder, "it is nevertheless only for one night", she said quietly.

The two were standing in front of Gail's house door and they couldn't really decide if they should say good bye to each other now or not. It was the evening before the wedding. Gail had offered Kimber that she could spend the night in their house. After all it was unlucky for the bride and bridegroom to see each other on the morning of the wedding. And Christian and Kimber had had more than enough of that in the last months. They did not want to provoke fate for still some more. Therefore Kimber agreed to it, but with a heavy heart. However she had no idea at the time how hard she will find the parting. Perhaps it was the memory of the last wedding, which made it so hard for them. Gail had promised that she would not leave Kimber's side, until she really stood beside Christian at the altar.

But Kimber was still afraid just as before that Gina would maybe make the wedding a no go anyhow. Since she got the sack from Julia she had disappeared. Nobody knew, where she was, which made Kimber even more nervous than if she would have known that Gina was in her direct proximity.

Christian conclusively took a deep breath, "in spite of everything, I don't like the thought of you being away from me."

"Me neither," Kimber looked at him, "but it's better like this, believe me. Gail and Sarah can help me with the wedding dress and my hair this way and with all the rest that needs done. They really enjoy doing it now that Julia can't be at the wedding anymore."

"How's the little Emily?" Christian enquired, "you've visited Julia one more time this morning."

"She's fine. The doctors said she'll be able to breathe on her own soon."

"Well thank God!" Christian exhaled relieved, "some happy news after all that stress," he put his arm around Kimber's hips, "I'd better be going now or I'll change my mind," he gave her a soft kiss onto her lips.

"Gail and Sarah'll take care of me and you don't have to worry about me having second thoughts," she stroke his face lovingly, "I love you too much for that!"

A smile flashed over Christian's face, "I love you too!" He kissed her for a last time and then turned around and went down the steps of the veranda.

Kimber was watching him leave with a longing look. She felt tears in her eyes and was relieved when the door opened and Gail stepped out.

"I was right after all when I heard somebody at the door," she said smiling. She scrunched her forehead, "so where's Christian, or did you come by yourself?" She wondered.

Kimber shook her head, "he went back already."

"Come in!" Gail took Kimber's bag and stepped into the living room, "I'll show you to your room now. You can sleep in Max's room. He spends the night at a friend's house, but he promised to be at the church on time tomorrow morning."

Kimber nodded. She followed Gail into Max' room and looked around. The typical room of a student, it crossed her mind. She could see shelves everywhere, all overflowing with books. There was a picture on the wall, on which a whale was shown, immersing right into a wave, and in a corner the nearly life-large skeleton of a shark.

Gail had noticed Kimber's irritated look and smiled, "Max studies at the moment the behavior of sharks. He goes shortly on an underwater expedition."

Kimber looked at Gail scandalized, "don't you worry at all?"

"I do," Gail nodded, "but unfortunately as a parent you don't really have a choice," she scrutinised Kimber, "are you nervous?"

Kimber nodded. She put her hand on her tummy, "I had this funny feeling in my stomach the whole day," she sighed.

"That's nerves," Gail nodded, "wedding fever...or whatever you wanna call it."

"I don't understand why I'm so nervous. I'll marry the love of my life, the father of my child. In fact I should be exultant."

"Don't think about it too much. What you're feeling's normal," Gail tried to calm the young bride.

"Did the dress arrive?" Kimber asked abruptly.

Gail nodded, "it's hanging up in my bedroom. Do you want to put it on once more?"

Kimber shook her head, "I only want to see it once more."

Gail nodded understanding. She went into the next bedroom and came back with the dress, "it's really a pity you'll only have this wonderful dress on for a few hours," she said sighing.

Kimber touched the soft satin fabric devoutly. Memories of her first wedding came up. The dress was nearly an identical copy of her dress that she had selected for her first wedding. Actually she had looked in the wedding salon for something completely different, but when she saw the dress there she knew that it had to be exactly this dress. She had not told anything to Sarah, who had accompanied her when she went shopping, of the fact that she had nearly the same dress on the day of her abduction. Perhaps the past could be fought by confronting it head on.

"You'll look like a princess in it!" Gail interrupted Kimber's thought process. She checked the time, "you should go sleep now. Tomorrow'll be demanding. And think about the baby too."

Kimber shook her head, "I cannot sleep yet. I'm too nervous."

"All right," Gail smiled, "then keep me company a little. Sarah wanted to sleep at a friend's house. She thought we two should be alone to be able to talk in peace."

"A mother daughter discussion then," Kimber said grinning.

Gail nodded, "on the evening before my wedding I was also sitting in the living room with my mother and she gave me some advice about how a bride should behave," she smiled, "now, I think, youngsters today know much more then we did. That's why I'm leaving the part out when I'm supposed to tell you about the rights and responsibilities of a wife..." She looked at Kimber seriously, "I know I can't replace your mother and strictly speaking I haven't even been a mother to my own son, but I'd really like to be allowed to take part in your lives. I would like to be there for you when you need me, help you and support you..."

"I'm so happy you say this!" Kimber grabbed Gail's hands and held onto them tight, "from the first moment on when I found out you're still alive and that Christian has a mother I was hoping that you two would reunite one day and we'll become a real family."

Gail eyes started to glitter giving her away, "apparently destiny took good care of us."

Kimber nodded, "my mother told me not long before she died that everything that happened in life had a purpose and nothing happens by coincidence," she said quietly, "I didn't understand for a long time what she meant by that. I simply found it too unfair from destiny back then that it took away both my parents from me at the same time. But quite slowly I came to understand the deeper meaning of that."

Gail nodded smiling, "sometimes it just takes some time," she stood up, "I'm tired and you should go sleep too."

Kimber stood up too and gave Gail a good night kiss, "sleep well! From tomorrow on I can call you mother completely officially," she smiled at Gail again and went then over to Max' room.


	68. Chapter 68

Kimber had the unreal feeling she had lived through all this once already when she was sitting in front of the mirror in the dressing room of the parsonage building. Not only the place was the same, but also the decoration and the bridal bouquet, which consisted of tender white Calla lilies, was identical too. Kimber studied herself critically in the mirror. She had decided to have her hair down anyway. Only a little comb with a lot of flowers adorned her vertex. Kimber instinctively reached for the red lip stick, which lay in front of her on the make up table and began to put some on her lips. Red like blood, the thought crossed her mind. She tried to suppress the oppressing feeling that suddenly rose in her. Everything will be fine. She will walk straight down the church aisle and will marry Christian. And they will be happy till the end of their lives.

Kimber got her bridal bouquet and stood up. A last look into the mirror and she cried out frightened. At around her chest there was a red mark, which she had not noticed before. Apparently when she was doing her nails some of the red nail varnish had dripped onto her dress. Terrified Kimber stared at her mirror image. She could not possibly step before the altar like that. She took a handkerchief and began to hectically rub it against the stain, but the more she rubbed, the larger it seemed to become. Panic overpowered her. Where was Gail? She had promised that she would stay with her. Uncontrollable trembling overcame her, and she struggled for air. The flowers slid out of her hands and fell onto the floor. Right when Kimber bent down after them, her pearl necklace fell to pieces and dozens of small beads rolled all over the floor. While she knelt down to pick the beads up, a shape emerged from behind her, putting its hands around Kimber's slim neck quick like lightning and pressed till she sank to the ground unconscious...

_Christian's Apartment_

"Are you ready?" Sean scrutinised his friend and partner with a well-meaning look.

Christian took a deep breath and turned away from the mirror after that, "I am nervous, but that is probably normal given the situation." 

Sean grinned, "yes, it is, no worries."

"I'll say Hail Mary ten times when the wedding's over," said Christian sighing. "Kimber's probably exactly the same." He scrunched his forehead, "did Gail call you? Did she and Kimber arrive to the church already?"

Sean shook his head, "I have no idea. So far she didn't call me, but it's still early enough for that. Besides brides would normally take longer to get ready," he noted grinning.

Christian cleared his throat nervously and checked how the suit looked on him for the hundredth time, "have you got the rings?"

"Rings?" Sean opened his eyes wide pretending to be alarmed.

"Come on, Sean. I have no patience for your games now!" Christian said obviously annoyed.

"Of course I've got the rings," Sean looked at him shaking his head, "you really completely lost it. Perhaps you should have a drink before, thus you become somewhat more composed."

Christian cast him a strenuous look, "crazy idea!" He said with a sarcastic tone, "the bridegroom appears drunk on his own wedding!" He rolled his eyes.

"Relax, Christian!" Sean patted him lightly on the shoulder, "everything will be fine."

"Have you seen the note?" Christian started to search his suit pockets around hectically.

"Which note?" Sean regarded him uncomprehending.

"The note with my wedding vows, which otherwise!" Christian said indignantly.

"I thought you could meanwhile recite them even if woken from sleep," Sean wondered.

"Damn..." Christian started to frantically walk up and down in the apartment, "I know I had put it in there."

"Then you can improvise as well", suggested Sean.

"Begins well!" Christian rolled his eyes, "in order..." He arranged his tie and took a deep breath, "we should get on our way slowly now, otherwise the wedding still takes place without us."

"That could hardly be the case," Sean said grinning, "it could be that the bride finds another bride groom to marry in the meantime." 

Christian pressed his lips together. He could not put up with Sean's sense of humour on this day, "could you do me a favour and keep comments of this sort to yourself till Kimber and me are wed?" He said dryly.

Sean looked at him surprised, "you're really worried, aren't you?"

Christian nodded, "the last time was a disaster. I don't wanna have to go through that again!"

"Understandable," Sean nodded, "but that's in the past. This time Quentin will not turn up to kidnap Kimber. I can assure you of that."

"And what about Gina?" Christian blurted out.

"Gina?" Sean looked at him confused.

"Did Julia not tell you anything?"

Sean lifted his eyebrows, "I only know Julia fired her because she had almost certainly stolen things from the Spa." He regarded Christian distrustfully, "is there more?"

Christian nodded hesitating, "she arrived to Kimber's bridesmaid party uninvited and threatened and insulted her."

"And you believe now that she wants to put a stop to your wedding?" Sean finished Christian's train of thought.

"I don't know what I should think," he sighed, "I'd rather like knowing where she's hiding. She'd disappeared without a trace."

"Maybe she left Miami," Sean supposed.

Christian shook his head, "that is not Gina's style to simply vanish off the face of the earth. No, if she disappears, then she will also let everybody know about it." 

Sean cleared his throat, "I don't wanna urge you, but it's really time," he tapped his wrist-watch.

Christian nodded absently and climbed into Sean's car, "okay, let's go. We don't want to make the priest wait unnecessarily."

Sean nodded, started the engine and drove off.


	69. Chapter 69

"Kimber? Kimber, do you hear me? Wake up!"

The first thing that Kimber become aware of when she came to herself again was somebody calling her name and shaking her. So she could've not been dead after all, was her first thought while she slowly opened her eyes.

"Well finally!" Sarah let out a sigh of relief, "I was already thinking you became Sleeping Beauty."

Kimber sat up benumbed and checked herself over. To her biggest surprise she was in Gail's house, "what... what happened?" she stammered. She licked her dry lips.

"What happened?" Sarah looked at her puzzled, "besides you missing your own wedding if you don't get up now, nothing's happened."

Kimber lifted her head disturbed, "where's... the church ... my bridal bouquet...my dress...?" She said erratically. She closed her eyes to try to remember. But the more she strained herself, the faster the memories evaporated.

"Are you all right?" Sarah put her hand on Kimber's forehead and looked at her concerned, "I'll get mom."

"Sarah, wait!" Kimber held her back by the arm, "I'm...all right," she pulled a hair lock away from her clammy face, "I'm just a bit...mixed up."

"Mixed up doesn't cover it so completely," Sarah lifted her eyebrows, "you were screaming as if somebody would've wanted to cut you to pieces! That must have been a horrifying nightmare."

Kimber lifted her head amazed. A nightmare! Of course, why didn't she think of that right away. She was only dreaming! A deep sigh of relief escaped her throat, "how late is it?"

"Shortly before half 8. If I remember right the wedding service takes place at half eleven. We still have to take care of a lot of things, therefore you should better get up now."

Kimber nodded and pulled her covers back, "I hope there's not a rule that says that what people dream on the night before the wedding comes true as well," she said and rolled her eyes.

"Not that I know of. Why?" Sarah asked curiously.

"I actually dreamt that somebody'll kill me," Kimber answered dryly.

Sarah let out an indefinable sound and frowned, "that's so dreadful!" She tilted her head, "and how? Did they shoot you, drown you, poison you...? Who was it?"

"Sarah!" Gail had stepped into the room unnoticed and heard the last bit of the conversation, "please go and get ready!" She said strictly, "or you would like to go to the wedding in a nightgown?"

Sarah cleared her throat embarassed. She knew that her mother only sent her away because she was walking on egg shells again.

"I'm sorry!" Gail turned to Kimber after Sarah had left the room, "youngsters of today..." She sighed, "you have to ignore Sarah's behaviour. She often says things without thinking it through," she looked at Kimber concerned, "you're all white. Forget the silly nightmare! I know how dreams can be frightening material, but finally they are nevertheless only dreams. You probably did not have a chance to work through being kidnapped at that time on your wedding day yet."

Kimber struggled to get a grip, "it was so terrifying..." She felt her tears rolling down her cheeks, "and now I fear even more that something terrible will happen."

Gail took her in her arms solacing her, "but I'll be with you," she said calmingly, "you don't have to be afraid," she stroke her hair softly, "do you want to tell me about your dream?"

Kimber squeezed her eyes together. She was hoping that she could remember the dream better that way, but everything seemed to be wrapped into a cloud. She shook her head, "I cannot remember any longer."

"See!" Gail smiled, "then it was probably not important either. And now shower quick, so that we can have breakfast."

Kimber nodded and stood up, "thanks for trying to give me some courage," she said smiling.

Forty minutes later Kimber was sitting in front of the mirror in Gail's bedroom and was doing her nails. She chose a rose nail polish, going with her lipstick. She would only put the dress on when arrived to the church. It was suitably packed into a sack. As Gail entered the room Kimber turned to her, "how much time do we have still?" She enquired. 

Gail looked at the clock, "a good couple of hours still," she removed the large curlers from Kimber's hair and took a comb, "your hair sits really good", she said then and regarded her work contently.

Kimber drew a deep breath relieved. Everything seemed to run smoothly this time.

"You're a wonderful, radiating bride!" Gail said and smiled.

Kimber pulled her hair nervously around, "don't you want to put the bloom ring in it?" She asked.

"I think there's still enough time for that. We should get there first."

"Are we ready then?" Kimber stood up and moved from one leg to the other nervously.

Gail nodded, "you'll put your wedding dress on at the church anyway. We are then so far finished." 

Knocking at the door interrupted the two. "I didn't want to disturb you", said Sarah hesitantly, "however a while ago the man from the flower shop came and brought the bridal bouquet." She put the bouquet, consisting of some tall white Calla lilies, on the bureau.

"Everything's working out the best way!" Gail rubbed her hands together pleased. She watched her daughter critically, "I think it would be best if I'd put your hair up. Otherwise it's just in the way."

Sarah shrugged indifferently, "if you think so."

Gail turned to Kimber and looked at her apologetically, "it'll not take long," she promised and followed Sarah out.

Kimber let herself fall onto Gail's bed sighing quietly. Now it was time. She would stand next to Christian before the altar in less than two hours and they would promise to love and trust each other. They had fought to reach this goal long and hard, they went through highs and lows and shared happiness and sorrow. A mix of nervous excitement and joy overcame her. When she heard voices from the corridor she stood up and grabbed her bridal bouquet.

"Are you ready?" Sarah burst into the room and regarded Kimber full of expectation, "Max just arrived. We must go now! I take the wedding dress, and you can take the bag", she arranged.

Kimber nodded. Still another last checking look into the mirror, and then she left the room behind Sarah.


	70. Chapter 70

Dressed up and ready now to finally step before the altar Kimber stood before the large mirror that was in the dressing area of the parsonage building and regarded herself critically. Last time she was specially fasting in order to fit into the tight wedding dress that accentuated her figure. Every gram of fat disturbed her at that time, and now she was proud on her small baby belly and her more voluptuous upper body. Everybody should just see that she was pregnant, the visible indication of her love for the man, whom she loved over everything and everyone and to whom she would give the "yes-word" in only a few minutes.

She stroke her belly with tenderness. For a moment all the fears and worries were forgotten, everything that tortured her over the last few days. She glanced at the clock hanging over the door. There wasn't much time left till Sean came to get her. He had agreed to guide her to the altar. Kimber grabbed her bridal bouquet quickly and her shoulders tensed, when there was a knock at the door. For one moment she was reminded again of her first wedding. At that time Quentin had used the element of surprise, because she had sat with her back to him. This time she would be prepared. She went to the door and opened it.

"Gail...Sarah?!" She called astonished, "what are you two doing here? I thought you would be waiting in the church."

"We cannot possibly let you go like this!" Sarah said and pushed Kimber back into the room.

"What?" She looked confused, "doesn't my hair look the way it should, or is something wrong with the dress?"

"No, no", Gail said reassuringly, "not such a thing. We have only almost forgotten to give you our gifts."

"Gifts?" Kimber didn't understand anything, "I thought we only get them after the wedding ceremony."

"Not those kindsa presents," Gail took a small box out of her bag, "you must know the saying that a bride should be wearing something new and something old, something blue and something borrowed?"

Kimber nodded mechanically. "Of course I know this."

"Therefore Sarah and I considered that we would have to equip you accordingly", avowed Gail.

"Exactly right," Sarah got involved now as well, "and therefore you get something blue now from me..." She presented a small box to Kimber, "and at the same time it is also something borrowed", she added.

Kimber opened the box curiously and then let out a cry of surprise. A neck collier was visible. Kimber took the piece of jewellery out and regarded it. It was in silver with a turquoise blue topaz pendant.

"Oh ... Sarah ..." Deeply moved Kimber looked at the collier, "are you sure that you would like me to borrow that?"

Sarah nodded, "I got it from my Mom for my graduation ball. I could not imagine a more beautiful reason, for which one could wear it."

"I don't know what I should say..." Kimber fought her tears. She turned around so that Sarah could put the collier around her neck.

"You'll end up ruining your make up if you start weeping now," Sarah said smiling, "the first part of the tradition would be dealt with. You have now something blue and something borrowed."

"You have something new already", threw Gail in. She pointed to Kimber's outfit, "your wedding dress. And suitably there is something old," Gail gave Kimber the small box, which she had held in her hand the whole time, "I got it from my mother and wore it at my wedding, and I thought, you should get it now."

"This is really magnificent..." Kimber took the delicate bracelet out the small box. She regarded Gail with moist eyes, "would you help me to put it on?"

"This is a "good luck bracelet", avowed Gail, while she put the bracelet around Kimber's left wrist, "the cross stands for the faith, the anchor for hope and the heart for love. Those are the "ingredients" for a lucky marriage," she smiled.

"Thank you very much!" Kimber bent down and pressed her cheek to Gail's, "then nothing can go wrong anymore."

"The real gift you'll get later," Sarah said winking.

"Even more surprises?" Kimber asked amazed.

"You'll see," Gail smiled slyly.

"But first get married!" Sarah said firmly. She looked at the clock impatiently, "where's Sean? He should've been here a long time ago."

"No idea," Kimber crossed her arms. She truly became impatient as well, "it's almost half eleven."

"He should've really been here a long time ago," Gail concurred as well now, "I'll see where he is," she opened the door and went down the corridor. 

_A few doors down..._

"Julia gave me the special mission to make sure that your tie is correctly tied," said Sean grinning.

Christian scrunched his forehead, "that is what she said?" He was reminded completely suddenly again of the last wedding and what happened, after Julia sorted his tie for him. Since then many months had passed, and him and Julia had talked about it. This time nothing would come between him and Kimber. This time they would make it, they would become husband and wife.

"Stand still, or I'll have to start from the beginning again!" Sean said reproachfully when he noticed Christian moving from one foot to the other, "I'll be finished in a minute," he arranged the white lily Christian had on, "perfect!" He said then enthusiastically.

"Thanks!" Christian forced a smile, "it is a real pity that Julia cannot be here."

Sean nodded, "but that's why Matt and Annie are here and Sarah, Max and Gail...almost the whole family," he patted Christian slightly on the shoulder, "it's time. I'll go now and get Kimber and you go in front of the altar and wait till I'll come down the aisle with your bride."

"All right," Christian nodded and rubbed his hands because they became all clammy and sticky given his nervousness.

"And please give the impression of being happy," Sean said, "your facial expression is so grim," he rolled his eyes, "we celebrate no funeral but a wedding! Thus be a little more relax."

"You can talk!" Christian grunted.

"We've all done this before," Sean said grinning, "and believe me-getting married can even be fun."

Christian exhaled deeply when Sean was away. He turned to the mirror once more and checked his appearance. A glance at the clock told him it was really time. He went to the door and opened it, when he had to jump back startled, "Gina...!" He uttered horrified.

"Hello Christian!" She said nonchalantly and scrutinised him disapprovingly, "so you did not forget me, how nice," she put her hands on her hips, "there are two possibilities. Either you let me now in voluntarily and we talk like civilized people with one another, or I yell "rape!" so loudly that everybody in the church can also hear it."

Christian let his fists come out to play, "you damned piece of dirt, I..."

Gina's scream was a surprise, despite the announcement. Quickly he pressed a hand on Gina's mouth, pulled her into the room and locked the door, "what the hell are you doing here?" He asked furiously, "and get over with it quickly. I want to get married by the way!"

Gina gave a cynical laugh, "I'm here to get my compensation. And I expect an immediate deliverance."


	71. Chapter 71

Christian pulled his eyebrows closer together and regarded Gina uncomprehending, "what the hell are you talking about? We are squared! Without me you would be long time dead! Already forgot?" He turned his nose abjectly, "would be perhaps also better, if you would leave us at least alone!"

Gina laughed spitefully, "you think, only because you stood the costs of the HIV treatment for a couple of weeks, we would be even? You are more naive than Julia," she took a seat on a chair without being asked to.

"Leave Julia out the game!" Christian said threateningly, "she has nothing to do with all this."

"The way you defend her..." She rolled her eyes, "one would certainly think you still love her," she crossed her legs, "was a nice show you two put on with the occasion of the last wedding," she laughed quietly, "a pity that the bride did not see you. But who knows, perhaps she would have rather chosen to go through all... " She did not continue, because Christian had grabbed her by the arms brutally and pulled her up from the chair.

"What are you talking about?" He said incredulously. He looked at her clueless. What exactly did she see back then and why was she talking about it now? He noticed how his breathing became quicker.

Gina twitched her mouth, "surprise!" She said with irony in her voice, "have you really thought that your little affair with Julia would remain undiscovered?"

Christian felt, how a knot was forming in his throat. He did not know yet, what Gina wanted from him, but it was surely nothing good.

Gina tried not to let it on that Christian's brutal behaviour caused her pain. Instead she drove her tongue provokingly round her lips, "well, no memories come up? Like at that time, Christian. It's only me standing here this time and not Julia," she pushed herself closer to him, until their faces were only a few millimetres from each other, "would you kiss me as well now, as you kissed her, so eager and full of passion..."

Christian realised utterly frightened that she really intended to seduce him. He pushed her away from himself disgusted, "have you completely lost your mind now? I would not touch you even if I knew that you were the last woman on earth!"

Gina pulled her lips into a grin, "you wouldn't hesitate one second if I was Julia. I'm quite sure of that." 

Christian ignored her last comment. He knew she only wanted to provoke him. He took his wallet out from a drawer and fetched a cheque, "how much do you want? You're nevertheless here for this, aren't you?"

Gina only scrutinised him for one moment, said however nothing. A revealing smile played around her lips.

"Are you deaf? I asked you a question and I'm waiting for an answer!" Christian gradually lost his patience. 

"How much are you ready to pay me for my silence?" She grinned offensively, "what do you think Sean will say if he finds out that his wife had a little love affair with you? I think, then it is finished with McNamara/Troy. I do not think that Sean would continue to work with you, if he finds that out."

Christian felt drops of sweat appearing on his forehead. He knew Gina well enough to know that she wouldn't hesitate to go to Sean. And what was with Kimber? Would Gina tell her of him and Julia as well? With a trembling hand he wiped his temples, "if I give you what you want, will you disappear then from Miami and leave us alone once and for all?"

A smile was playing on Gina's lips, "who would have thought that. You're actually afraid", she determined satisfied.

Christian cast a nervous look at the clock. He had to save the wedding, but he didn't wanna let himself be extorted by Gina either. There was only one possibility. He had to try to appeal to her conscience, "there was a time when I really thought that you loved me at that time, briefly after Wilbur's birth," he started. "You wanted to have another child with me. Do you remember?"

Gina looked at him incredulously. She asked herself why he was suddenly talking about the past.

"I had visited you back then at the hospital, when you were so badly off and nobody wanted to know anything about you. I took care of you getting medication and the necessary care. I financed your house and stood the medical costs for the HIV therapy. And I made sure that James and Wilbur... Gabriel were tested." He took a deep breath before he continued, "I only did everything, because I knew deeply in my heart that you are different than others think. We lived together for several months. I had time to get to know you and I had seen, how you dealt with the baby. You have a soft, sympathetic heart, Gina! You hide it only behind this murky, ice cold shell. But I know you better than you know yourself."

"What should this poking around in the past mean? Do you think that I'll change my mind and become sentimental?" She was annoyed that her voice trembled slightly. She could not admit it to Christian, but his speech effected her. Already the mention of Wilbur/Gabriel's name all by itself.

"Really seriously. I often asked myself back then what would've happened if James didn't take Wilbur with him. Would we have become a happy family?" He looked up at her deep in her eyes, "would've we both had the chance then...as a couple and as parents?"

"You're only trying to make me soft," Gina hung her head because his gaze made her nervous. And she didn't like it when she was nervous. Till now she could hide her feelings well from others and in particular from Christian. Nobody should ever find out how very much she had loved him all those years and that she still loved him. If she would not have become infected at that time with the deadly illness, she would've never given up so quickly without a fight. Then she would have confessed her feelings to him already. Kimber would have had no chance after that. In any case Julia would have been an alternative serious rival in that case.

Christian shook his head slowly, "why would I do that? I have always been honest with you, Gina. I've never done anything to you. Thus why should I lie now?" He cleared his throat, "I offered my friendship to you after the Carver attack. And I meant it, and I had the feeling then that you also really meant it. This is the way one can be disillusioned by people... " He made a longer pause and blew the air out slowly, "well, we come now to the business to shorten the whole thing here. What I am to write on the cheque?"

Gina's bottom lip trembled when she looked up at him, "1:0 for you, asshole!" She said. Her shoulders tensed and she passed him with her head raised up on her way to the door.

Confused and at the same time surprised Christian watched her leaving the room. He could not believe it yet that she began to retreat voluntarily. Was it really a parting forever? He had his doubts there. But nevertheless he felt relief. Sighing he put the check book back into the drawer and closed his eyes for one moment exhausted. He had to hurry, if he wanted to get to the wedding still in time. Christian examined the way his suit looked on him again before he left the room behind Gina and made his way to the altar.


	72. Chapter 72

_The Wedding, Part 1_

"Can you see Christian anywhere?" Kimber fumbled nervously with the bridal bouquet, while she stood at the other end of the nave behind a broad column with Sean and Sarah and waited on the appearance of the bridegroom.

"No," Sean shook his head, "maybe I should go and try and find him again," he puckered his brow, "when I went out he was nevertheless ready. I do not know, what could have stopped him ", he wandered.

"Or someone," Sarah rolled her eyes allusively.

Sean scratched his head, "who could that be?"

"Oh my God..." A horrible thought crossed Kimber's mind all of a sudden. What if Gina had waylaid him and had then kidnapped him. Kimber thought her capable of everything after her appearance on the bridesmaids party.

"What is it?" Sarah saw with unease, how her friend became suddenly pale, "are you not feeling well?" She looked for her mother, who sat in the first row and apparently didn't notice anything from the whole agitation.

Kimber moistened her dry lips, "what if he..." She got stuck, "if he was kidnapped...or killed..." She looked at Sean helplessly.

"Now do not put the hex on it!" Sean reminded her, "I was still with him a quarter an hour ago. There he was well."

"Do you think that Gina...?" Sarah kept the remainder of the sentence to herself because Sean cast her a prompt look.

"I think I'm gonna faint!" Kimber started to breathe in a hectic manner and pressed a hand to her belly, "I just can't believe this...not again...please don't!" She stammered.

"I was only thinking and saying it out loud!" Sarah put an arm around Kimber's shoulder softly while looking at Sean apologetically. 

"I'll go back to him again and find out what's wrong," Sean said determined. He was just about to leave when Sarah's quiet outcry made him look up.

"Hey, can you see him? He's there!" Sarah pointed over to the altar with her finger, "see, he is there, and everything'll be fine!"

"Yes," Kimber felt how she became quite weak from the blaring relief. A bad condition, if one had to walk straight elegantly down the aisle. 

"Are you ready?" Sean asked and took Kimber's arm. 

She took a few deep breath and then nodded hesitantly, "yes, I'm ready," she gestured Sarah that she should go first.

Sean nodded to the organist, and while the wedding march resounded, Sarah walked slowly down the aisle to the altar. She smiled at Christian reassuringly and took her place on the opposite side.

Christian held his breath for one moment when he saw Kimber stepping up to him, lead by Sean. She looked simply beautiful in her wedding dress. The softly flowing satin material narrowed perfectly to the roundnesses of her figure. Her hair's silky curls reached her shoulders, and on the head she had a diadem from flowers to which a veil was fastened. As she came closer he could see the twinkles in her eyes. Were they caused by tears? He did not have much time to think about it because the bride and the man giving her away had reached the altar, and Kimber took her place beside Christian, while Sean was behind him. 

With a nearly shy smile Kimber turned to Christian and took his hands. They regarded each other, and for one moment everything was forgotten around them. They had only eyes for each other. Now the moment had come. Few instants more, and they would be joined in wedlock forever.

The priest cleared his throat before he started his speech, "we gathered here to unite Kimberly and Christian in holy matrimony. These two young people who examined themselves for a long time now intend to enter into such a marriage. If any person knows of any lawful impediment why they should not be joined in matrimony you should now declare it."

Christian's grasp around Kimber's hand strengthened, which she acknowledged with an upset look. For one moment deadly silence ruled the entire church. One could have heard a needle fall, so quiet there was. Kimber was afraid that Christian could hear, how loud her heart was beating for the excitement. It was not however only the excitement. Also his affectionate look, which he cast at her made her heart beat more quickly.

"Now all right, since apparently nobody has anything against this union I'll continue with the ceremony," the priest said.

Gail, who was sitting in the first row exhaled relieved. After all the problems and worries of the last months, peace finally seemed to have arrived. She wiped a clandestine tear away from her eye. Tears of joy, that she mainly shed, in addition, a little wistfulness was in there too. Gail noticed, how Max reached for her hand and held it and pressed it tight. Probably he suspected, what was going on inside her. Max had always felt, what was going on inside her before she had to express it. Even if Christian and Kimber would lead more like their own life now, they remained a part of the family nevertheless.

"I hope you're clear about what a marriage entails," the priest continued and looked at Kimber and Christian seriously, "marriage is an honest and a whole life long lasting partnership of love between a man and a woman. In the first place marriage is built on sincerity. It is of biggest importance, just like the trust in each other. In the future you will share your happiness, in addition, your sorrow with one another, and, if you respect each other mutually and trust one another, your love will become unbreakable, you will accompany each other and give each other strength to manage your everyday life together in good as in bad times, in wealth and hardship, in health and in sickness, until the end of your lives," the priest smiled, "are you now ready to recite your wedding vows?"

Christian exchanged a brief look with Sean, who nodded to him encouragingly. He knew that Christian was nervous, because he had not much time to prepare and on top of it all the note, on which the words of the vows were written, was disappeared.

"How it is said nevertheless so beautifully", finally Christian begun his speech, "all good things come in threes? Now, then nothing can go wrong now after we're already at our third attempt to become husband and wife."

Sean rolled his eyes. That was so typical Christian. When there was an egg shell to step onto, then he found it blindly. It was not very tactful to mention the other missed opportunities on the wedding day. Sean kept hoping that Christian'll not discredit himself even more, by mentioning for example that his bride had a 'shallow' life style at the time when he got to know her. Also Kimber's previous cocaine excesses did certainly not belong to a wedding speech either. But to Sean's big relief Christian took the corner all right after that.

"Before you stepped into my life I didn't know what love was," he said to Kimber with a soft voice, "you showed me what it means-with your words and with your deeds. And you also showed me that it is worth fighting for it. Thank you for your unconditional love, for your trust and for your endless patience, Kimber! You made my life really worth living and I'm looking forward to my future together with you and our baby."

When Christian had started to recite the first sentences of his vows Kimber had tried hard to keep her composure but now she could not hold back her tears any longer. She was grateful, when Sarah handed her a handkerchief quickly, with which she could dab her tears away. She felt Christian's anxious look and tried to show him with a faint smile that everything was all right. Now it was her turn to recite her vows. With weak knees and clammy hands caused by nerves Kimber turned to Christian and took his hands in hers...


	73. Chapter 73

_The Wedding, Part 2_

"When I came here I was at a turning point of my life," Kimber started to recite her wedding vows with a trembling voice, "I had lost everything that was once important for me and an uncertain future lay ahead of me. But when we met for the first time I knew that I had chosen the right way. Even if it was a long journey I never gave up hope. You awakened some feelings in me that I never experienced before. I knew from the first moment on that you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I found out through you that dreams can come true and I'll hold on to this dream and dream on together with you."

Christian had listened to Kimber's pledge deeply moved and now was blinking to get rid of the tears that formed in his eyes. He looked at her with a gaze full of love and passion. The dramatic developments of the last months, the heartache and the foreboding had strengthened their relationship, and he was sure that nothing could occur on this earth they couldn't master together.

"Now that you both recited your wedding vows we get to the official part of the wedding ceremony now," the priest cleared his throat again and turned to the groom first, "Christian Troy, do you want to take Kimberly Henry to be your lawfully wedded wife, do you promise to love and honour her from now on, in good as in bad, in sickness and in health, in wealth and hardship, until death do you part? If so, answer with "yes, I do!"

Kimber felt as if she would've been dreaming. This was the moment she longed for so much. As in trance she heard, how Christian answered. He had really said "yes"! Her eyes filled with tears. Now it was her turn. She heard, how the priest addressed her.

"Kimberly Henry, do you want to take Christian Troy to be your lawfully wedded husband ..."

She cast a brief glace at Sarah who seemed to be looking startled all of a sudden. Her steady gaze was directed toward the back rows. Irritated by Sarah's behavior Kimber turned her head slightly and opened her eyes frightened when she recognized who sat in one of the back rows: Gina! For one moment their eyes met and Kimber felt, how her stomach tensed and her knees became soft like pudding.

"...if so answer with "yes, I do!" The priest ended his speech.

"Kimber, it's your turn!" Christian murmured to her. He followed her gaze and his face became overshadowed. He had suspected however that Gina had still another ace in the sleeve. So simple could not nevertheless be to get rid of Gina Russo. But Christian's apprehension primarily concerned Kimber. She looked like, as if she could faint any moment.

Kimber could hardly concentrate on what was going on around her. She didn't want anything more than wake up from this nightmare. Why did it become so hot all of a sudden and why did the candles start dancing on the altar? Kimber opened her eyes even more wide to penetrate the darkness which was pushing itself like a wall before her. She felt strong arms protectively taking hold of her and gave into the liberating darkness.

When she came to again slowly, she noticed that a blood pressure cuff being removed from her arm at the same time. She did not know exactly, where she was, but at least she was no longer in the church.

"But I don't understand this," Gail said shaking her head, "the blood pressure was quite low, except not as much to explain the unconsciousness."

"The priest wants to know if we can continue with the wedding," Sean said quietly.

Christian shook his head moaning, "I don't think so." He looked at Sean pleadingly. "Would you...?" He left the sentence open.

"Of course," Sean nodded.

Kimber had enough of it. Apparent still nobody from the people present had noticed that she was conscious again already, "enough of this!" She said so energetically, as her condition permitted, "you're behaving as if I would already be dead!" She sat up, "I'm fine! I was only dizzy for one moment."

Gail looked at her with a doubting expression, "are you sure you're better now?" She asked concerned.

Kimber nodded, "could you leave me alone with Christian for one minute?" She directed her request to the people in the room.

Sean looked at her surprised, while Gail was still scrunching her forehead thoughtfully. Sarah speculated upon why Kimber wanted to be alone with her future husband. It must've been about the thing with Gina. Sarah didn't tell her mother or Sean that she saw Gina amongst the guests there. And Kimber's black out was clearly the result of Gina's visit, "now come on, let's leave the two turtle doves alone ", she said and pulled her mother by the arm with herself.

"What should I say to the priest?" Sean asked and regarded the bride and the groom stressed out, "does the wedding continue after a short break or do you want to stop here?"

Christian looked at Kimber uncertainly. It was alone up to her, how she would decide.

A kind-hearted smile magicked colour onto her white face. She nodded to Sean, "say to the priest that we will come in a minute. And say to him", she continued after a short hesitation, "that I'm sorry that I interrupted the ceremony."

A smile appeared on Sean's face. He was relieved that apparently everything turned positive in the end anyway.

When Sean was away Kimber looked deep into Christian's eyes, "I would like to tell you the reason why I passed out," she said quietly.

"So there's a reason for it?" He asked surprised.

Kimber nodded, "I know that you probably think I'm paranoid, but..." She got stuck for a little while, "I've seen Gina amongst the guests," she saw Christian opening his mouth to say something, but she cut him off, "do not say now that I am crazy! Sarah saw her too."

Christian reached for Kimber's hand and held onto it, "I do not think at all that you are crazy," he took a deep breath before continuing, "Gina was really here," he hung his head, because he could not bear Kimber's disbelieving look, "she visited me briefly before the wedding. She wanted to blackmail me because... " He stopped quickly. He could not tell the truth to Kimber, what had really happened at that time between him and Julia.

"Blackmail?" Kimber looked at him uncomprehending.

Christian cleared his throat nervously, "she knew something about me, that would cause difficulties for me and...another person who was also involved, if she told people about it."

Kimber suddenly remembered her conversation with Gina she had at the Spa, "is this other person Julia?" She asked blankly.

Christian's head shot up, "you know...?" He said disbelievingly. He swallowed the rest of the sentence. Even if Kimber didn't find out anything about him and Julia yet, his reaction had now betrayed him.

Kimber nodded, "Gina told me that she spotted you and Julia kissing back then on the day of our first wedding."

Christian now felt how the blood disappeared from his face and a knot formed in his throat, "when... when did she tell you this exactly?" He said laboriously.

"A few month ago when I was at the Spa for a massage," Kimber gave the information readily.

Christian regarded her speechless, "you already knew it for months?!"

Kimber lowered her head. About "trust". Their vows were worthless, if they trampled over the values representing a marriage. She suddenly felt like on an interrogation.

"My God..." Christian took Kimber's silence as an agreement, "why didn't you say anything?" 

Tears appeared in her eyes, "I'm so sorry! I didn't know how and if I should tell you. I didn't wanna lose you! And Julia assured me back then that the kiss meant nothing...only a kiss between friends."

Christian closed his eyes. Julia had already sat the thing right. It only shocked him that Kimber knew about it the whole time. And it bothered him that she still only knew half the truth.

Kimber completely misunderstood his silence, "could you forgive me for my pretence?" She regarded him with large pleading eyes.

When Sean entered the area, he immediately felt the tension, which prevailed between the bridal couple, "I informed the priest that you're coming right away..." He interrupted the sentence and looked at Kimber and Christian alternatively with a scrunched forehead. He noticed Kimber's tears, "or did you change your mind?" He asked flustered.

Kimber's eyes met Christian's and for a moment neither of them knew what they should say to the other.

Sean moaned innerly, "I need a decision ... now!" He drummed with his finger nervously on the door frame and looked from one to the other," Christian... Kimber... have you decided?"


	74. Chapter 74

_The Wedding, Part 3 _

Kimber's hands clutched the soft material of her dress. She had the feeling, as if she would have had to make a decision over live and death, "our vows..." She began coming to a pause and with a trembling voice, "we lied...Everything was only a lie, all our oaths about confidence and honesty," she felt again, how her eyes filled with tears, "the fact that we love each other will not change anything. Much more than that is needed for a marriage. Love alone is not enough. What is our marriage worth, if we can't even be honest with each other?"

"You're simply giving up?" Christian looked at her incredulously, "I believe I can remember that there is a Biblical saying that disproves your statement." 

"What?" Kimber looked at him confused, "what are you talking about?"

"About loving you more than anything or anybody else in this world! But that doesn't seem to matter to you at all," he said visibly hurt. He scratched his chin, "only if I could remember that saying..."

"But now faith, hope, and love remain-these three. The greatest of these is love," Sean muttered.

Christian looked at him surprised, "exactly, that's it! You're quite good!" he said grinning.

Sean obviously felt unpleasant given the whole situation. He cleared his throat, "I believe, I better leave you alone for another while. But hurry up! I cannot delay the priest and the guests eternally," he nodded at the two, "I'll wait then on the corridor. Call me, if you are finished."

Christian nodded, "okay. We'll hurry up."

"Well all right," Kimber gave in reluctantly, after Sean had left the area, "love is the most important thing in a relationship," she cast a furtive look on the bracelet, which symbolized exactly the things, which Sean just quoted so solemnly, "should that mean that you still want to marry me, although I was not honest with you?" She asked disbelievingly.

"For God's sakes! -Yes!" It burst out from Christian, "I did not squeeze myself nevertheless into this penguin suit to get into an argument with you! In addition I would like to remind you of the fact that I already fulfilled my part. I already said "yes"." He took a deep breath again before he continued, "everything that I had said a while ago to you, was the truth," he paused briefly again, "you said to me at that time, when I proposed to you for the first time many months ago that I didn't even go down on my knees. If it is that, what you need, in order to realise how much I love you, then here you are... " He knelt down in front of Kimber and took her hand, "I am not perfect. I also never maintained that. But you accepted me always like that, the way I was. You were always there for me if I needed you. I think that is what constitutes a good relationship - people are there for the other one and accept each other the way they are," he cleared his throat, "I simply cannot live without you, Kimber! I tried it, for many weeks, but my life is pointless without you. At that time, when I lay shot in the hospital, you were the one proposing, although it should've actually been my task. Today I would like to rectify this omission... Kimber Henry, will you marry me?"

Kimber suddenly had the unreal feeling looking at herself from the outside as she knelt next to Christian as well, put her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his, "yes...yes...yes...!" She muttered again and again.

He pulled a bit back, "now?...here?...immediately?" His eyes were well asking for an agreement.

"Yes!" Kimber laughed happily, "now, here and immediately, and not one second later!"

Christian stood up and pulled her close, "I'm afraid I can't wait for the permission of the priest to kiss the bride..." He lowered his head and locked Kimber's lips with a tender kiss.

"We shouldn't let the priest and the guests wait for any longer", said Kimber completely out of breath, when Christian finally released her.

He nodded, "you're right. We should call Sean in right now."

Kimber nodded and opened the door, "Sean, you can come in now!" She called him, "we have decided." 

Sean looked at the bridal couple, "and, how did you decide?" He asked.

Christian's lips formed a wide grin, "do you have the rings at hand?"

"Thank Heavens!" Sean let out a sigh of relief, "I have become at least ten years older in the last ten minutes I had to wait outside the door," he said and rolled his eyes.

"But you still look good for your age," Christian threw in grinning. He put an arm around Kimber's waist, "is everything all right now?" He enquired concerned.

"I feel fine and I can hardly wait to step to the altar with you," she replied laughing. 

"Then let's go!" Sean opened the door for the bride and the groom and followed them. Love conquered all in the end, he thought. He took his place behind Christian again when they reached the altar and made Sarah understand with a gesture that she should also take her place next to Kimber.

The priest was smiling relieved when he saw that everybody gathered around the altar again, "now, as I see, we can continue with the wedding ceremony as planned," he adjusted his eyeglasses on his nose and turned then to the bride and the groom, "I think that we can do without you mutually reciting your wedding vows again. Therefore I ask you once again, Christian Troy, do you want to take Kimberly Henry to be your lawfully wedded wife, do you promise to love and honour her from now on, in good as in bad, in sickness and in health, in wealth and hardship, until death do you part? If so, answer with "yes, I do!"

Christian turned to Kimber, took both her hands and looked at her adoringly, "yes, I do!"

"Kimberly Henry," the priest continued quickly, "do you want to take Christian Troy to be your lawfully wedded husband, do you promise to love and honour him from now on, in good as in bad, in sickness and in health, in wealth and hardship, until death do you part? If so, answer with "yes, I do!"

Kimber felt her heart beating against her ribcage. She was waiting for Gina to spring forward any minute and stop the wedding from happening anyway. But nothing like that happened. She felt Christian's hand pressing hers stronger. "Yes, I do!" She said quickly.

A relieved murmur resounded from the crowd. Gail finally gave up the fight with the tears. And she was not ashamed of them because they were genuine tears of joy.

Sean handed Christian the wedding ring over, a simple platinum ring with an inlaid piece of diamond in the center, and he slipped the ring carefully onto Kimber's left ring finger, "with this ring I thee wed!" Christian said solemnly. 

Kimber had tears in her eyes as she reached for the wedding ring and put it onto Christian's ring finger, "with this ring I thee wed!" She said with a quiet, trembling voice.

"The wedding ring is an outer sign of your everlasting love for each other," the priest explained, "it has no beginning and no end, just as your love will never end," he placed his right hand over the folded hands of the bridal couple, "with the power invested me by the State of Florida, I pronounce you husband and wife!" He smiled at Christian encouragingly, "you may now kiss the bride!"

Words alone were not enough to express what they felt when they sealed their conjugal connection with a tender kiss.

"I love you!" Tears glittered in Kimber's eyes when she whispered Christian these three words after their lips had separated from each other.

Christian pulled her in his arms as an answer and sealed her lips once again with a sensual kiss that made her forget about everything else around her...


	75. Chapter 75

_The wedding party _

Some hours later, while Kimber lay in Christians arms and swayed back and forth to the slow music on the dance floor in the festival room, she contemplated the past after the wedding in the church.

Sean, the man giving her away and Sarah, the bridesmaid, were the first who congratulated the newly married couple after the priest had officially introduced them as "Mister and Misses Troy". Afterwards the family members of bride and bridegroom had been allowed to congratulate the newlyweds. Liz had specially taken some free time for this special day. Gina had disappeared as she had appeared, what filled Kimber with relief. She had received many congratulations during the rest of the morning and shook hands of people she did not even know. Most were acquaintances of Christian. The thought of how many female friend guests Christian would have had an affair with had crossed her mind. She tried to disregard the thought. Everything belonged to the past; she was his future.

After they left the church and arrived to the festive room of a well-known hotel in Miami, the newlyweds followed the instructions of the guests. The show included traditional customs such as the throwing of the garter and the bridal bouquet. Kimber had directed it in such a way that Sarah had to catch the bouquet, and the young girl had a pretty red face thereafter and left the dance floor. Gail kept an eye on Kimber during the whole time and made sure that she did not overexert herself.

"Are you happy?" Christian's question interrupted her thoughts.

"I've never been so happy in my whole life before!" She pressed herself closer to him, "and somehow I still can't believe that I'm really Misses Troy now!"

Christian looked at her affectionately and bent down closer towards her, "I can hardly wait for us to be alone and open every single hook of this dress," he whispered into her ear.

Kimber poked him playfully indignantly into the side, "men!" she said grinning, "you can only think of one thing."

"Not always, only when the woman looks so heavenly sexy as you do!"

"May I dance with the bride?" Sean had come close to the bride and the groom without being noticed and was now looking at Christian expectantly.

"But not for long," Christian said grinning, "I wanna have her right back," he gave Kimber a soft kiss to the cheek before he left the dance floor with a smile on his face.

Sean put an arm around Kimber's waist and took her hand to lead her, "I can not remember to have ever seen Christian so happy and relaxed. That is your making", he said smiling. He regarded her thoughtfully, "can you still remember, when we danced together the last time?"

Kimber nodded, "that was at the "Cafe Corner"," she answered, "barely two years ago, when we..." She paused briefly, " were a couple," she smiled, "if you would have said at that time that Christian and I would marry once, I would have thought you are crazy."

"Really nobody thought that at that time," Sean grinned, "but you ever couldn't stop thinking about him back then," he audibly cleared his throat, "I have never told you this before, but you were often calling Christian's name in your sleep."

"Really?" Kimber looked at him shocked, "I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"

Sean sighed deeply before answering, "well, it's not especially flattering to admit that the woman, with whom one is together is in love with another man."

Kimber lowered her head embarrassed and leaned it on Sean's shoulder.

"Hey, you shouldn't feel guilty!" He said when he noticed how quiet Kimber abruptly became, "It's okay. The best man had clearly triumphed," he said grinning, but immediately thereafter he became serious again, "I know it's none of my business... however we are friends for such a long time actually that I..." 

"...That you wanna know what was going on just now?" Kimber completed the sentence.

Sean nodded, "you don't have to talk about it if it's unpleasant for you," he threw in quickly.

"No, it's not," Kimber shook her head, "I saw Gina amongst the guests," she finally said after a short pause, "I suddenly panicked that she'll try to put a stop to the wedding again."

Sean scrunched his forehead, "what did Gina want here? Her name wasn't on the guest list."

Kimber laughed joylessly, "do you think, that such a thing would hold her back?" She shook her head, "every other person, however not Gina! Manners and politeness are irrelevant words to her! She visited Chrisitian right before the wedding", she explained. 

"I see. That was why he almost came too late for the ceremony?" Sean guessed.

Kimber nodded, "and she almost managed to stop the wedding. But..." Her gaze wandered over the party room. "...I haven't seen her since then. Possibly she still realised in time that she lost the fight."

Sceptic creases appeared on Sean's forehead, but he didn't say a thing. He hoped Kimber was right and Gina was really gone once and for all. 

"Can I get my wife back?" Christian had stepped behind the two and was looking from one to the other smiling, "or am I interrupting something?"

"No, not at all," Sean rushed to say and stepped one back, "she's yours again," he gave Kimber a kiss on the hand and disappeared in the crowd then. 

Christian looked thoughtfully after him, "I did not want to drive him out," he regarded her curiously, "What did you two talk about? Was it about me?"

Kimber rolled her eyes, "about Gina," she answered curtly.

"I hope you didn't tell him anything about Julia and me?" Christian looked at her shocked.

"No," she said calmingly while she took a hold of his hand and put her head onto his shoulder, "I didn't tell him anything. Only that Gina was with you and that I saw her amongst the guests in the church."

Christian exhaled relived. His friendship and partnership with Sean was important for him not to jeopardize it all, "no worries," he said on a softer voice while stroking Kimber's back, "Gina's gone and I don't think she would come back either."

"I hope so..." Kimber sighed quietly. She looked up surprised when Sarah was pulling at her dress. "What's up?"

"You have to interrupt your dance", she ordered and smiled knowingly, "Mom, Max and I would like to give you our gift."

"Well, that certainly makes me excited!" Christian put his arm around Kimber and went over to the table with her, where Gail and Max were already waiting to hand over the present.

Before Gail gave away the gift to her son and daughter in law she gave them a hug and kissed them, "we thought because you'll become parents soon, you would like a practical gift the most."

Kimber curiously took the box that Max handed her, "that's huge!" She called out surprised, "what's in there then?"

"Open it!" Sarah was hopping from one foot to another with nervousness.

Christian helped Kimber taking the ribbon off and then both looked into the box curiously.

Christian regained the use of his tongue first, "a doll cradle?" He looked confused from Sarah to Max and Gail back and forth.

"That's mine," Sarah said quickly, "I mean...it was for my doll," a sly smile appeared on her lips.

"The doll cradle is only a symbol for the gift", threw Gail in, "we thought, since you still don't have anything for the baby, this would be a suitable gift. You can choose what you want- from the cradle and the changing table to the baby carriage."

"This is a wonderful gift! I don't know what I should say...Thanks!" Kimber had tears in her eyes again when she hugged her new mother in law, Sarah and Max, "but I hardly think we would have so much room in the apartment to accommodate everything ", she said smiling. 

Christian gave Gail a light kiss onto the cheek, "thanks again... for everything!"

Gail hugged her son gently, "Now it's time to cut the wedding cake," she said to change the subject.

Christian put his arm around Kimber's waist and they went over to the wedding cake, "I hope it's your taste. I did not have the time to do the cake tasting again. Therefore I have simply ordered the cake that Sean and I had already picked some months ago."

"I trust your taste," Kimber said smiling.

"Of course you can do that. I have the best taste," he grinned impishly, "I chose you to be my wife after all."

"You are a charmer!" she said smiling," and you always say the right thing on the perfekt moment. If our son gets your genes, then the girls will already stand in line in front of the cradle."

Christian could only suppress a laugh with some difficulty when he grabbed for the cake knife, "I believe everybody's waiting for us to do our job," he whispered to her sensing the expecting looks.

Kimber nodded and with the applause of all the guests and the flashlight thunderstorm of the photographers, they began to cut the wedding cake together.


	76. Chapter 76

Christian opened the door to the apartment and let Kimber in first.

She went straight into the bedroom and let herself fall onto the large bed sighing, "I am so tired that I could fall asleep on the spot."

"The sun did not even go down, and you want to go sleep?" He asked obviously disappointed.

"I was only teasing," Kimber changed the tune quickly, "I will not miss out on our wedding night!"

Christian pulled her up from the bed and looked deeply into her eyes, "before we can however get to the pleasant part of the evening, I would still like to present you with my gift. It is a special surprise ", he said and smiled knowingly thereby.

"You have a present for me?" Kimber asked surprised, "but I thought that we agreed not to give gifts to each other."

"I simply couldn't keep myself back," he answered grinning, "and it austerely goes with our other gifts perfectly."

"Are you talking about the honeymoon?"

Christian shook his head, "wrong. Try again!"

"Is it about the stuff for the baby?" She guessed again.

Christian nodded grinning, "what would you think if we went for another small joyride in my car?"

Kimber looked at him confused, "you mean now? It is our wedding night, Christian! Actually I had imagined something... more romantic."

"Now, who says it's not romantic to watch the sunset from the car."

Kimber lifted her eyebrows. She couldn't make sense of Christian's mysterious suggestions, "you mean that apparently really seriously. I get myself changed and then we can go out. I mean perhaps, if we both go out for a meal, this here is... " She looked down sceptically, "...perhaps nevertheless not necessarily the suitable outfit."

"You simply look adorable in this dress ", he said in an enthusiastic manner, "and I would not like you to change anything about your appearance."

"Okay, as you wish", she gave in. She went over into the bathroom and reapplied her make up, "I believe, it was a mistake to swear unconditional obedience in front of the altar", she said smiling.

Christian's lips turned up to a grin, "I hope you don't regret your decision to have married me yet."

Kimber went back to him into the living room and put her arms around his neck, "not one second!" She said with a gentle voice.

He kissed her passionately, "if you're ready then we could set off."

"I'm giving myself completely over to you," she said and rolled her eyes theatrically. She was a bit irritated when Christian gave her an eye bandage in the car, "is this also part of your surprise?" 

"You'll find out soon. We don't have to go far", he promised her.

Kimber leaned back and tried to relax, but the rough journey caused a dull feeling in her stomach, "are we there soon?" She asked impatiently, "I becoming nauseous!"

"All right," Christian gave in when they covered more than half the distance, "you can take the eye binding off."

Kimber exhaled relieved and looked out of the window curiously when she could see again, "where are we?" She asked inquisitively.

"We're close to the beach," Christian gave the information, "a little bit and we're there," he pointed to the glove compartment, "there's a map there. Could you check if we're on the right way?"

Kimber nodded. She opened the glove compartment and started to rummage in it, "I can't find a map . Here is only a... " She took the article out. "... a box ", she established then surprised.

"Why don't you just open it," Christian suggested while he kept trying to concentrate on the traffic.

Kimber lifted the top of the box up and stared at the content of it confused, "that's a key!" She said surprised. She took the key out of the box and scrutinised it from all sides, "it doesn't look like a safe deposit key," she said thoughtfully, "and it can't be a car key either. Those look different. Where does the key come from?" She regarded Christian from the side curiously.

However he was only smiling and pretended like he had no idea what Kimber was talking about.

"Come on Christian," Kimber said excitedly, "the key surely didn't fly in there all by itself. What is it? Are we looking for a treasure?"

"Not exactly," Christian smiled in a mysterious manner.

Kimber put the key back into the box sighing, "the only thing I can still imagine is that you've rented a holiday house. Am I right?" 

"Something similar," Christian stopped abruptly and stepped out. He went around the car and helped Kimber out.

"Where are we?" She asked puzzled. She looked around. Christian had parked his car right in front of a two storey residential house with a flat roof and an accompanying double garage. "Who's living there?"

"Just try the key!" Christian suggested and smiled astutely.

"But I cannot break into houses of stranges just like that!" Kimber retorted wound up. 

"They are no strangers," Christian answered grinning.

Kimber regarded him for one moment uncomprehending before she put the key hesitantly into the lock and turned it till the door opened. She gave a quiet scream, when Christian lifted her up suddenly, "what are you doing?"

"Carry you over the threshold, what else," he gave the answer grinning. He entered the house and set Kimber down on the corridor, "don't you know the custom that the bridegroom carries the bride over the threshold of his house?"

Kimber needed a while to process the meaning and content of his words, "you mean this is our...you have...bought a house for us?" She stammered and regarded him with an uncomprehending look.

"I thought we needed the room around to accommodate all the gifts," Christian said winking.

Kimber wrapped her arms around the neck of her husband and kissed him effusively, "I simply can't believe that you really did that!"

"The real estate agent made a very attractive offer, which I could not resist. In addition my apartment becomes really too small now," he cleared his throat, "would you like me to show you the areas of the house?" 

Kimber nodded radiating, "that would be wonderful!" 

"And with which room should we start?"

Kimber's eyes got a particular shine, "is there a bedroom ... with a double bed and curtains?"

Christian smiled slyly and reached for Kimber's hand. He pushed the door to the bedroom open and pulled her into his arms on the way, "I think, we'll still have sufficient time later for discussing who takes which bed half, or what do you think?" He asked grinning and began to slowly undo the hooks of her dress.

"Yes," Kimber whispered, "...a whole life long."

Christian pushed her towards the bed and while their lips met for a passionate kiss, they sank onto the bed.


	77. Chapter 77

**Epilogue**

_Five months later _

Christian stepped into Kimber's hospital room quietly and went straight to the small baby bed and bent down to the sleeping baby, "hello Joshua!" He greeted his newborn son and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Christian...?" Kimber opened her eyes and smiled tiredly, "have you been here for a long time?"

He shook his head, "I just came. But you..." He smiled, "...you slept half the day," he bent down to Kimber and gave her a tender kiss, "hello mummy!" 

She looked at the baby bed, "he is a miracle!" She said quietly, "I never would've thought I could be so happy." 

Christian took his sleeping son out of the baby bed and placed him into Kimber's arms before sitting down next to them and putting his arm around them, "I know what you mean," he bent over the baby and stroke his dark fluffy hair gently with his finger.

"He looks like you", said Kimber smiling, "he has your hair colour and your eyes."

As a proof the newborn opened his eyes and gave some gurgling noises.

"That's to be seen", Christian said smiling, "in any case he came out perfectly."

Kimber laughed quietly and pulled her son closer to herself, "I hope Julia and Sean don't mind me spoiling their Christmas celebrations."

"Well," Christian said grinning, "our new year's eve baby wanted to be a Christmas child instead." He cleared his throat, "I almost forgot about it now..." He pulled an oblong box out from his jacket pocket, "Merry Christmas!" He said and regarded Kimber affectionately.

She opened the box and was speechless for one moment. A necklace with a ruby pendant was to be seen, "what a beautiful necklace!" As Kimber looked up she had tears in her eyes, "and I have no gift for you at all", she said sadly. 

Christian lifted her chin and looked deep into her eyes, "you gave me the most beautiful present ever-our son! I cannot give you any gift on earth that would mean more!" He cleared his throat, "I love you, Kimber!"

"I love you, too!" She leaned forwards and locked his lips with a tender kiss.

**_The End_**


End file.
